LOVED (22 page)

“So I told ‘em. I said I’d donate it if I had to. If he was actually dying, I’d give it, but only if it came down to it. I said if someone else donated, fine. If dialysis kept him alive, fine. But, I said if he’s dying, call me,” he rubbed his eyes again.

“And when they called,” his voice started cracking.

“Hell…”

“I couldn’t get there, Doc…” he held his index finger in the air.

“…I couldn’t get there fast enough. It excited me to be able to give this to him, to you, and to Kelli. C’mon, they’re gonna leave us,” he said as he wiped his eyes.

“So, why tell them the Easter Bunny donated it?” I asked.

“Well, fuck. I don’t know. They kept asking if I wanted to leave a note, anything,
something for the recipient. They said he’d be extremely grateful. I said,
Tell him the Easter Bunny donated it.
It just came out. I never figured they’d say shit. Guess I was wrong,” he said, shaking his head side to side.

“Take care of those that take care of us,” I said.

“What’s that?” he said.

“You said that when you left our
place that day,” I said as I put my arm around his shoulder.

“Amen,” he said, and we turned to walk out of the shop.

KELLI.
“So this weekend we get the keys. Are you excited?” I asked.

“Baby girl, you know I’m excited. It’s all we’ve been talking about for weeks,” he responded.

“I’m excited too. Nervous, but excited,” I said.

Erik had been acting funny for about a week. Since we bought the house, we had been together every moment of every day for the most part. Spending time with Erik made me so happy. He has taught me so much about myself. I know now who I am, what I have been hiding from my entire life, and why I am the way I am.

I know I am not broken, and that there’s nothing wrong with me. I know that Erik is what I need to make my life complete, and I see that every day that we are together. When I need to be, Erik will scold me. When I do well, he always praises me. He tells me I am beautiful, that he is proud of me, and that I am a good girl.

I’m sure to some people, these things would seem meaningless, or ridiculous, but to me they were important. Erik telling me I was a good girl made me happier than almost any gift he could give me. Erik telling me he was proud of me was better than receiving anything I had ever received from anyone else in the past. Being told by Erik that he was proud was better than any material object anyone could ever offer.

Erik didn’t tell me he was proud or that I was a good girl just to say it. He said it because he meant it. And, because he meant it, it meant something to me. Erik being proud of me created a desire to continue to make him so.

That desire fil
led me, and that passion made him proud.

When he said it, I was putty in his hands. I suppose, all things considered, he told me these things for his benefit as well. All I know is that I never want to disappoint Erik. I never want him to stop being proud, and I never want him to stop telling me.

Erik took a drink of his coffee and looked out at the street. His hands were sexy. I liked watching him do things with his hands. His hands made me wet. Hell, everything about Erik made me wet.

“Christmas is right around the corner. What do you want for
Christmas, baby girl?” he asked as he turned to face me.

“You,” I responded, smiling.

“Your eyes are beautiful, Kelli,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said as I flipped my hair over my shoulder.

Erik said he likes it when my hair isn’t in my face. He said he likes seeing my face, my neck and my ears. He said the more he can see, the more he loves seeing it.

“Seriously, what?” he asked as he finished his coffee.

“You, that’s all,” I said, nodding my head.

“You have me,” he responded.

“That’s all I want. You. Forever. You make me smile,” I said.

“You make me smile too,” he said.

Warren was leaning on the espresso machine watching us talk.

“Did you get your machine fixed, Warren?” I asked.

“All fixed now Kelli, it’s good to go,” he said as he smiled and tapped the top of the machine.

Erik pulled the lid off of a cup of water and took a drink. He never liked drinking cold things through a straw, and he always removed the lids from them. I liked drinking through straws. Straws made drinking fun.

I took a drink of my coffee and wiped the coffee from my teeth.

“Do you think coffee makes your teeth brown?” I asked Erik.

“Well, if you soaked them in it, I’m sure it would,” Erik laughed.

“But not just drinking it?” I asked, wondering if my teeth would eventually be brown from drinking the chai latte.

“Baby, not if you brush them. I don’t know, I don’t think so,” he laughed.

I smiled and drank the rest of my coffee. Something shifted in the cup as I tipped it up. I squinted and looked at
Erik as he watched me take the drink.

Warren and his tricks.

I pulled the lid from the cup to see what Warren put inside. He loves to play jokes on everyone that comes in the store. He loves living life, and he always has fun doing it. I set the lid on the table and looked inside the cup.

My heart stopped. It didn’t skip. It stopped beating.

Completely.

I looked at Erik.

I looked in the cup. My hand started shaking.

“Erik?” I needed to say so much more.

“Baby girl?” Erik said, “Are you okay?”

“Baby girl,” he said again.

My head started spinning inside. I couldn’t focus on anything. I think for a minute, I was in shock.

I looked at Warren. He covered his mouth with his hand. I looked back at Erik, and into the cup.

“Baby girl?” Erik said, “Are you okay?”

I grasped the cup in my hand and stared.
My entire body shook. I lifted my other hand from my lap and held it in front of me. It shook uncontrollably.

He reached for the cup. I let him take it from my grasp as I watched his eyes. Without looking, he dumped the cup into his hand. He turned his hand over and dumped it into the glass of water that was on the table.

And then, for the first time, Erik made me cry like a baby.

He reached toward the center of the table with his left hand, and turned his palm up. I laid my left hand into his and looked into his eyes.

And I began to cry.

He reached into the cup with his right hand. I couldn’t watch. I looked into his eyes and cried softly.

“Kelli, I can call you
baby girl
, I can call you
Kelli
, or maybe even
my good little girl
. I can call you my
girlfriend
, or my
good little slut
,” he chuckled as his eyes swelled with tears.

“But
the one thing I
can’t
call you, and I desperately yearn to…” he paused.

“Is my
wife
,” he took a short breath and looked directly into my eyes.

“
Kelli Parks, will you be my wife?”

I nodded.

He probably expected that. I always nod. I rarely speak. Only lately had I become comfortable speaking around Erik. My submissive nature had always caused me to be quiet around Erik and allow him to do all of the talking. I was always afraid of saying the wrong thing. And now, when I
needed
to say
yes
, all I could do was nod my head.

He slid the ring onto the ring finger of my left hand. The diamond was huge. I have never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

Regardless of who you are, what you believe in, or where you were raised, if you’re a girl - you always dream of
one thing
.

A man proposing to you that loves you. And that you love back. I’m sure many women are proposed to that don’t accept. I’m sure an equal number are proposed to that
wonder
if the marriage will last – or maybe they
hope
. 

But with Erik, I knew.

Knew.

This would be the first and the last time that this would ever happen. This, for both of us, would be forever.

I let the tears fall from my face and looked into his eyes.

“Right now, baby girl, we have each other. But I want more. I know I don’t have to prove anything to you. I know I don’t. But I want this union, this bond, this marriage of you and
I. I want to show you how devoted I am to you. I need you beside me. You allow me to live, to breath, and to survive. I am not afraid to admit it. I want you to be mine for all of what is forever. Again, will you be my wife?” he asked as his wet eyes sparkled.

“I will,” I responded.

“I will.”

“You, Kelli Parks, just made me more proud than I have ever been,” he said.

I nodded.

“
Don’t worry, your father knows. I went to ask his permission before he got sick, and then I ordered the diamond and had the ring custom made,” he said.

“You asked my daddy?” I said, surprised.

“I wanted to do this right, Kelli. I’m only going to do it once, and I wanted to do it as proper as I could,” he said as he wiped his eye with his finger.

“
Can I ask?” I said.

“What?” he answered.

“What did daddy say?”

“He said he’d be honored to have me be his son. I laughed when he said it, and I corrected him. I said
son-in-law
,” Erik paused, looked at the table, and then looked back into my eyes.

“
And he said,
Don’t argue with your father
.”

Erik shook his head and wiped his eyes again.

“I love you, Kelli,” he said as he leaned across the table and kissed me.

“I love you back,” I said as our lips parted.

I love you back.

GENE.
“Dim the lights, son, it’s like fucking daylight in here,” I said.

“Where’s the dimmer,” he asked.

“I know where it is, it’s by the office door,” Kelli said as she began to walk that direction.

“
You need to dim these fucking lights so that god damned ring doesn’t blind me,” I smiled.

That damned boy has made me
so proud. I remember the day I met him. I wasn’t too sure about him. He was polite, and he had good posture, I remember that. But he walked a fine line. I know now that he’s a fine man. He’s confident in who he is, and he doesn’t falter. I know one day I will be gone from this earth, and thinking of having him taking care of my Kelli makes me feel better about when I’m going to be gone. I don’t think any one man will make her feel more loved, more cared for, and more needed. He praises her as much or more than I ever have.

For that, I am grateful.

“You big dumb fucker, you better learn where shit is around here,” I scolded him.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes at me.

“God damn, Erik. This place looks huge. Bigger now than it ever has before. Hell I never really paid attention before,” the big boy with the beard said.

“What’s your name son,” I asked him.

“I’m Teddy. They call me Crash,” he said as he leaned toward me and shook my hand.

“You’re a big sum bitch, ain’t ya?” I asked as I let go of his hand.

“Well, I’m losing weight, down to 250, all muscle. I’m the boyfriend of Kelli’s best friend, Heather,” he said as he pointed to Heather.

“Well, you’re big enough to eat hay and shit in the street,” I said as I looked him from head to toe.

“You’re the fella that tipped over all the damned bikes, aren’t you?” I asked, remembering the story Erik and Kelli told me about the fella names
Crash
.

He nodded and looked at Erik. Erik shrugged his shoulders.

Another one of them walked up and held his hand out. He was a real nice looking fellow, a little taller than Erik. He had a nice sense of presence about him, like he was a man that could be trusted.

“Derek Jackson, sir. They call me The Bone. I’m the president of this mess of a club,” he said.

“Pleasure to meet you, Derek. You’re running the shop, right?” I asked.