Love's Patient Fury (The Deverell Series Book 3) (29 page)

“Mama, will you bring my daughter to me?”

Rhea opened her eyes to find Merry’s bright gaze upon her and on her daughter’s face was a breathtaking smile. Then Merry looked at Varian, and her smile grew even larger. “We have a daughter, you insufferable man. If you don’t start to smile quickly I will hit you.”

After a quick kiss on Merry’s head, Rhea said, “Your daughter has spent her days with Philip and Kate amusing them and the staff. She is a glorious creature, Merry, and she is very beautiful. I am sure she is more than anxious to meet her mother.”

Rhea returned with the baby, but excused herself quickly. She would come back later, when it was her time to be here. She would share in her daughter’s joy, when her presence wouldn’t disrupt these very intimate moments. Merry was staring in absolute wonder at the bundle in her arms, having eased from husband to sit against the pillows to accept her daughter from her mother. Varian’s face was awash with his heart, so rarely ever allowed to be fully revealed.

Before Rhea closed the door, she heard her daughter exclaimed, “Look at her, Varian. Is she not perfect?” The baby was screaming. The little one liked to scream like her mother, though her parents didn’t seem to note it or mind at all. Laughing, Merry said. “And she is very loud and very large. She is very much our daughter, you insufferable man.”

~~~

Rhea was sitting in a chair in her bedchamber, alarmingly still and crying when Lucien found her. It was not what he expected since their daughter seemed well on her way to recovery. Her words stopped him cold.

“I am leaving this bedroom, Lucien. I have taken a room at the other end of the house. I will not return until I understand what manner of man I am married to. I am not certain any longer, and that hurts me more than leaving your room, where have I have slept at your side for twenty-five years.”

Lucien went to his wife, stunned, and then even more so when Rhea twisted her hands free as he tried to take them. “What is wrong, Rhea? Can we not at least discuss this? If I have hurt you I am not aware of how I have done it.”

Rhea stood up and brushed at fresh tears.

“That’s why I don’t know you any longer, Lucien. The man I married wouldn’t have hurt me and would have known what he was doing to hurt me without a need for me to explain it.”

~~~

Their child was named Katherine. Katherine Elizabeth Merrick Deverell. Katherine. As every first born female in the Merrick family had been for many generations. It was a tradition. Explained to Varian by Merry, known because her cousin Kate was the first female of a generation and christened at birth Katherine, and so their child would be christened also. Tradition. And like all Merrick traditions, it was immediately altered.

Their baby was known as Kat, because her father called her that and Varian always had his way. He had a whole picture book in his memory of his beautiful young wife, in different moods, in different circumstances, and poses that reminded him of a cat. So he called the baby Kat, because she was beautiful like her mother, and everyone else followed in turn. He explained to no one but Merry, because she had asked him to, and because he missed her, desired her fiercely and some of the picture stirred his passion, he did so with more enthusiasm than her tender state would allow them yet. It had been wonderful, but frustrating.

Merry wanted to nurse her baby herself. The physician, who returned at Lucien’s insistence to be assured of his daughter’s health, had said it was most probably not possible because of the delay in starting caused by the illness. He was bewildered by her grace’s desire since ladies of quality never nursed, so he discouraged it. Varian, furious and not at all leashed in his display of it, sent him away and sent for Netta.

It took time, but the wet nurse was soon dismissed, to the pleasure of both baby Katherine’s parents. Other than Varian, only Netta openly approved of Merry nursing the baby herself and encouraged her. Even Rhea had been reluctant because of her daughter’s weakness from illness.

Netta, who knew a lot about her mistress, approved, and held her secrets tightly. Knew Merry slept without garments, unless she wore her husband’s shirts. Knew she never slept in a bed alone, though there were two bed chambers as was proper in their suite. Knew that now Katherine was here, the child, a permanent connection joining her mistress to His Grace, never saw the nursery again after her mother’s recovery and now slept with them in their bed beside her mother.

They were unconventional given their high nobility, how they got that way a mystery, and they were passionately in love. The Deverells didn’t care what anyone thought of what they did.

Merry lay on her side, clad in the dressing gown Netta had brought after her waking, since family came all hours of the day to visit her and Kat. Merry was nursing her baby and staring into those intense black eyes. Varian loved to watch her as she nursed. The wait for her full recovery was agony.

Running her hand through her long curls, feeling a tingling sensation in absolutely the wrong spot as the baby latched to her nipple tightly, it was odd that desire was what came to her through this maternal peace. It had been six weeks since the birth. Recovered and healing quickly in happiness, the man was waiting for her to tell him she was able to make love again. His patience at times was insufferable, because she was a woman watching her husband stare with pleasure and other thoughts as she suckled their baby, and was missing him with an absolutely desperate ache. Was it enough time? Feeling her flesh, she knew she didn’t care if it wasn’t. It was worth an effort to see. That made the tingling stronger. She wanted Varian now, untimely or not.

Cherry spots of color on her softly sloping cheeks, Merry whispered, “Kat is asleep. Send for Netta. I want her to take our baby out into the sun and the air. Our baby is satisfied. Now it is time for you to satisfy me.”

~~~

There was no cabin. There was no candle. But there was wine. Dribbled this time on every intimate place of Merry’s body and this time
every
intimate place on Varian’s as well. The man was ruthless in seduction and even if her tender flesh had not been willing, it would have been a wonderful memory.

Laying on their bed, her long curls a web around them, Merry laughed and couldn’t resist teasing, “We are married, you insufferable man. I have been in your bed over a year.  I am not a virgin innocent and unknowing any longer. I understand the purpose of where you finished with me. So you had better recover quickly, forget whatever male nonsense made you do that, and make love to me again and finish with me properly. You may not need all of me, but I need all of you. I want all of you, Varian, no matter where it takes us. All of you and another bottle of wine.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Merry lay back against the shore, the sound of water from the channel a pleasant melody in her ears. Baby Kat was relaxed across her stomach and wonderfully peaceful for her second hour. Both of them enjoyed the feel of the sun and the air brushing them freely.

She felt that familiar burn of black eyes, that instant wakefulness in her flesh, and wondered how that insufferable man had found her. She had escaped the house without Mr. Pitt in tow and a lecture awaited her. Adjusting the baby back into her arms, a hopefully diverting smile on her face, she opened her eyes as she pulled to a sitting position.

Merry froze. It was Indy. The first thought able to break free was that the boy looked well. Well and
different
. That long length of black wave fastened in its customary tight braid was gone, so was the diamond in his ear. He was dressed in the simple elegance of a gentlemen’s garments, nothing flashy or over-stated, his manner of dress much in Varian style. The clothes were a compliment to the boy.

In a year’s time he had come into his full height, he was well above six feet and had more the hard knit muscle fullness of a man than the leaner, sleeker lines of a boy. He looked very handsome, the scar on his face giving an edge to his features that would have only been considered pretty because of the softer wash of youth he still possessed. Age not fully tempering them yet. There were tempered only by the scar, and he looked handsome and well.

Merry would have gone to him to give a kiss in greeting, but she still felt it, the sensation of black eyes, the same power of emotion Varian possessed which brushed her flesh like a physical touch.

Stunned and unable to move, she realized,
the boy is in love with me. Why did I never see it? Why did he never tell me?

They were cousins, it was not incestuous or illegal. The boy had been in love with her all along. It was why he had always been so protective of her on ship. Why there had been friction between him and Varian, and why he stayed away now. He had never told her. It had been there for a very long time and somehow she had never seen it.

Merry dropped her gaze instantly, her heart suddenly in a frantic rhythm.

“You were in love with my father from the moment your eyes touched him at
Grave’s End
,” Indy explained quietly, closing the space between them. He eased down on his well-muscled legs to be at eye level with her. “What was the point of trying to come between that?  It’s why I didn’t release you at the beach, when I could have and wanted to. It was why I wasn’t afraid to take you to him.  It was where you belonged.”

Merry smiled. It was little wonder the boy could read her. He was becoming more like his father every day. Twelve months. The change in him was remarkable. How had it happened? Where had he been?

Indy’s great dark eyes fixed on Kat and he smiled, small, but it was a pleasant smile right there on those lips where she had never seen one before. Its affect was dramatic. Merry felt the burn of tears in her eyes.

“Why are you here, Indy?” Merry asked, placing a hand on his arm so he would know she welcomed him. “Does your father know you’re here? He wants to see you. This estrangement has been painful for him. More so since our daughter. He’s at the house. Let me take you to him. I will go with you to see him, if you need me there.”

Indy sank down on the sand beside her, arching a brow and laughing. “Oh, Merry, I would love to hear you explain my presence to your relatives. Have you forgotten the world assumes I am dead? It’s apt to stir questions if I should suddenly pop up in the bosom of the Merrick household. Questions dangerous for us all.”

His laughter faded away. Another new occurrence. Laughter. Its rich tone sounded so much like Varian’s. Merry’s smile grew.

Merry said, “Yes, I can see your point and thank you for not calling me a fool as you use to do, much too often. I will go and get Varian and bring him here.”

Indy stopped her with a hand. “No, Merry, I came only to see my sister. I am not ready to see him yet.”

Merry’s wide doe eyes fixed on him sharply. “See him for me, Indy. He is ready if you are not. Do it for me, please. Settle this conflict between you so my husband may know unclouded happiness as he deserves.”

Indy’s brushed a knuckle down Merry’s cheek.

“Merry, I would do almost anything for you, but I can’t do that. Don’t expect me to,” Indy said in a firm voice. “I need time to be surer of who I am, now that I am finally away from him so I may decide who and what I wish to be.”

“You will be whatever you are just as your father is what he is. He understands your need to make your own decisions. He won’t interfere in any way, Indy. He just wants to assure himself you are well and he has been forgiven for all the things you both suffered, together and apart.”

That made Indy smile again, amused. “He can’t help but to interfere, Merry. You know that. You are married to the man. He has a force of will that can smother you whether he ever speaks a word of what he expects or wants or hopes. It’s a burden at times. I spent years being hurt by his hopes for me and his never-waning tolerance and patience of my failing him. I almost pity this little one here. Complete existence from birth with our father...”

Merry slapped Indy hard against the cheek. “You will never speak of your father like that to me again,” she warned in a severe hiss. “Varian is a wonderful man, a gentle man, a loving man. He is completely unselfish in his love for me and our child and for
you
. You are an arrogant, cruel young man at times. You have never understood your father, if you could say those words. You speak that way to me again and I will never forgive you. You will not be welcome near me or my daughter or my husband.”

Indy’s reaction was unexpected. The sinister face, her hand print on his cheek cut in two by his scar, suddenly softened in expression and he was laughing, laying back on the earth, laughing. The laughter died abruptly. Those black eyes shot open, shimmering, and his words stopped her.

“Little One, I am not ready to forgive my father his wife,” he explained, one arm across his brow, not quite covering well enough that reluctantly revealed pain there. “I am not ready to be with him while he is happy with you. It’s better for me that I don’t have to witness it.”

Merry shook her head in frustration. Why were the Deverell men so complicated? And so alike. It was clear the boy was hurting and wanted ease from a measure of his pain, and was being too damn complicated in all this by not  simply going to his father. Pain that would not ease unless he did.

Then Merry’s thoughts lost a measure of their harshness. She understood his difficulties, remembering how it had hurt long ago to desire Varian and know he had spent a night with Christina Wythford. Then her thoughts shamed her. The boy was in love with her, a cruel, pitiless, and uncontrollable emotion at times.

Sighing and feeling baby Kat begin to squirm in hunger from being too long without feeding, Merry undid enough buttons on her simple gown and put the baby to her breast. There was nothing else she could do. The child would scream in mad force if her demands weren’t always instantly met and she didn’t want to leave Indy yet. The boy had seen more of her than most son’s ever had gotten to see of their father’s wives.