Loving A Highlander (10 page)

Chapter

Ten

Heart pounding, Isabella crept down the corridor toward the door located at the end.  A nightmare had awoken her, one in which Owen had held her down to have his way with her.  It had happened enough in real life and try as she might to forget, the images still lingered.

              She shivered as her bare feet came in contact with the cold floor.  An icy draft snaked down the corridor and she knew if she looked outside, she would probably see snowflakes dancing in the air.

              Isabella longed for the nights when Gerard had slept outside her bedchamber door, but ever since the laird has spilled his secret, the floor outside her room had been empty.  She had checked once or twice in the wee hours, peering down the darkened corridor in hopes of catching a glimpse of him, but each time it had been cold and deserted.

              She stopped in front of Gerard’s bedchamber door and took a steadying breath.  Her heart still pounded in her chest and due to the cold, she was beginning to shake.  She had almost given up hope that her knock would be heard, when the door creaked open.

              “Bella?” a deep voice rumbled, before the door was flung open to reveal, Gerard, his eyes bleary from sleep.  He had a thick cover draped about him, but vast amounts of his muscled chest could still be seen.  “Is something wrong, lass?”

              “I had a bad dream,” Isabella whispered, knowing in her heart that she sounded like a small child and not caring.

              A corner of Gerard’s mouth quirked upward in a smile and a teasing light entered his eyes.  “Aye, dreams can be scary.”

              She nodded.

              He grinned.  “Do you want me to come back to your bedchamber and check underneath the bed for monsters and things that go bump in the night?”

              She shook her head.

              “Are you scared, Bella?” he asked softly, the teasing light replaced with one of concern.

              She nodded as she continued to shiver.  Through his bedchamber door, she could see a fire as it burned in the hearth.  She longed to feel its warmth, the fire in her own fireplace had gone out sometime in the night and her room was as cold and dark as a tomb.

              Gerard reached out and gently grasped her hand, pulling her into the room and shutting the door behind her.  He led her over to the fireplace and sat down in a chair, pulling her onto his lap and wrapping the cover around her.

              Isabella could feel the heat of skin as it seared through the thin material of her shift.  She snuggled closer, enjoying the feel of his hard body against hers.  His arms felt protective and safe and the images of Owen and the cruelty he had inflicted upon her began to fade.

              “Want to tell me about it, lass?” Gerard murmured, as he stroked a hand down her hair.

              Isabella turned in his arms and rested her cheek against the muscled wall of his chest.  “I dreamed about Owen.”

              His hand stilled on her hair as he waited for her to continue.

              “I dreamed about the times he would hit me and the times he would…”

              “Ah, Bella,” Gerard held her tighter.  “I didn’t realize things were so bad with your husband.  I’m sorry I can’t change the past, but he can’t hurt you now.”  He tilted her chin up, forcing her to look at him.  “That man will never touch you again, Bella,” he said gravely.  “I promise.”

              Isabella sighed with contentment.  She was warmer now, thanks to the roaring fire and Gerard’s arms around her.  She studied his handsome face.  Firelight flickered and danced across his features, highlighting the strong line of his jaw and full lips.

              She reached up to stroke her hand down his whiskered jaw, relishing the feel of the roughness against her skin.  She stopped to trace a finger around the outline of his lips.

              Gerard’s indrawn breath was harsh.  “You don’t want to do that, lass,” he growled. 

              “I believe I do,” Isabella murmured as she leaned forward to give him a kiss.  “I want to do it very much.”

              Gerard muttered an oath as he pulled her closer.  He molded her body to his and stroked a hand down her back.  One of his hands slipped between them to palm the full globe of her breast.  His thumb moved back and forth over the tip, causing Isabella to moan low in her throat.

              “Why don’t we go to bed?” she whispered.

              Gerard’s grin was wicked as he lifted her and freed his member from his pants.  “No need, lass,” he said and with a thrust of his hips impaled her.

              Isabella moaned and clung to him as he filled her time and time again.  At first, he let her set the pace, before quickly taking over.  His hands held her hips as he brought her down to sheath his engorged member.

              “Ah, lass,” he groaned, after they both had found their release.  “I’ll never grow tired of having you in my arms.”

              Satisfied and completely content, Isabella snuggled against his chest and listened as his heart beat slowed to its normal rhythm.  “Aye, and I never grow tired of being in them,” she murmured as her eyelids drifted shut.

              Right before she drifted off to sleep, she felt Gerard lift her and carry her to the bed where he tucked her beneath the covers.  He quickly joined her and pulled her into his arms, fitting her body against his.

              “Go to sleep, lass,” he whispered as he leaned in to give her a kiss.  “Morning will be here before long.”  He watched as Isabella’s breaths became steady and even as she settled into a deep sleep.  But for Gerard, sleep was a long time coming.  Images of his wife flashed through his head and he felt a new sense of guilt.  Tonight he had allowed himself to dream.  To dream of a future with the woman he held in his arms.  A future that could never be. 

              In the moments before Lorna had taken her last breath, he had promised her he would never love another.  That he would be content with the memories they had shared, but he hadn’t known he would meet a woman like Isabella.  Hadn’t known she would capture his heart with her blue eyes and pretty smile.

              Gerard, wracked by guilt, frowned into the darkness and made a vow to keep Isabella at arm’s length.  She must never know how much he cared about her and that if she were to leave, he would lose a part of his soul.

One week later.

              They were walking in the courtyard, in the part that would have been the garden in the warmer months, but now the flowers were dead and withered.

              “Tell me about your wife.”  Isabella tilted her head to stare up into Gerard’s handsome face.

              Gerard struggled to hide his shock.  He had agreed to accompany her this afternoon.  In fact, he had been looking for an excuse to spend time with her.  He enjoyed having her by his side during the day and in his bed at night.

              “What do you want to know?” he asked, doing his best to keep his voice neutral.  In truth, the loss of Lorna still felt like a punch to his gut and it wasn’t a topic he usually discussed.

              Isabella stopped walking and studied his face.  The day was overcast and the corner of the courtyard in which they were walking was deep in shadow, but there was enough light for her to tell she had struck a nerve.

              “What were her interests?”  Isabella reached out to slip her hand in his and resumed walking.  It was a bold move and she breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t pull away.

              Gerard hesitated, lost in thought.  When he finally did answer his voice was strained.  “Lorna liked to sew,” he said, searching his mind for memories of his late wife.  It saddened him to realize what few memories he did have were beginning to fade.

              “Oh,” Isabella said, as her face fell.  She didn’t particularly like to sew.  She could of course, out of necessity, but she considered it to be a chore.

              “Was she pretty?”  A pang of jealousy knifed through her, but Isabella pushed it away.  It was silly to get jealous over Gerard’s love for a dead woman.

              “Aye,” Gerard said with a sigh.  “Lorna was beautiful.”  He stopped walking and reached out to grasp her chin.  “What is this about, Bella?  Why all the questions?”

              Isabella leaned toward him slightly, but then just as quickly straightened.  She refused to get lost in his mesmerizingly blue eyes or get caught daydreaming about his broad shoulders.

              “Your wife was important to you.”  She allowed the words to sink in.  The woman in question had meant the world to Gerard and she was finding it difficult to compete with a dead woman.

              “Aye,” Gerard said softly, “Lorna was the center of my life.”

              “Did you love her?” Isabella asked, even though she knew the answer to her question.  Lorna was his heart and soul.  She had been his reason for living.  Even in death she claimed his love.  Isabella could only hope he had enough love left over to give to her.

              Gerard folded his arms as he stared down at her.  “Very much.  I wouldn’t have married her otherwise.”

              Isabella gathered up her courage and tugged him further into the dark corner of the courtyard.  She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss, relishing the feel of his firm lips.  She had hoped he would wrap her in his arms, but he didn’t.  His arms remained by his side.

              She took a step back and sighed.  “Do you love me?” she asked, hating the note of desperation that had crept into her voice.  She thought about all of the pleasurable nights she had spent in his arms but wasn’t naïve enough to think that love had to be involved.

              Gerard’s expression became clouded.  A muscle tightened in his jaw.  “I care deeply for you, Bella,” he finally answered.

              Isabella felt as if someone had taken a knife to her gut and sliced her open.  “But not love?” she whispered.

              “No,” he said sadly.  “Not love.”

              Tears blinded her as she picked up her skirts and ran.  She could hear the sound of running steps behind her and knew that Gerard was in pursuit, but she didn’t stop.  Through the courtyard she ran, toward the portcullis and the freedom that lay on the other side.

              “Isabella!  Wait!” Gerard shouted, ignoring the glances of curious onlookers.  He caught up with her in front of the closed gate and nodded his thanks to the guards on top of the wall who had refused to open it for her.

              He grasped Isabella’s arms and then turned her to face him.  He winced as he saw the tears glistening on her cheeks.  Tears he had caused.

              “Let me explain, lass.”

              “There is nothing left to say,” Isabella said stiffly.  “You made yourself perfectly clear.”  She turned away from him and motioned to the guards.  “Open the gate.  I wish to leave.”  She felt a flash of anger when the guards didn’t rush to do her bidding, but instead looked to Gerard.

              He shook his head and folded his arms.  “Leave it closed,” he said firmly.  “The lass is not to leave without my permission.”

              “Your permission?” Isabella’s voice rose to a shriek.  They were attracting a crowd, but she didn’t care.  “Your permission?  I,” she said, jabbing a finger into his chest, “do not need your permission to do anything.”

              A smile played about Gerard’s lips.  “Aye, lass, I believe you do.”  He bent and scooped her into his arms, tossed her over his shoulder and strode toward the castle.

              Isabella was horrified.  “Put me down!” she hissed. 

              Gerard chuckled as they entered the Great Hall.  “Oh, I will put you down, Bella,” he purred, as he took the stone steps two at a time, quickly gaining access to the second floor.  He strode down the corridor and opened his bedchamber door.  Kicking it closed, he walked to his bed and tossed her onto it and took a step back.

              “What are you doing?” Isabella squeaked as she sprawled unladylike on his bed.  Her skirts were hiked to the top of her thighs, exposing a large expanse of creamy flesh.

              Gerard gave her a wicked grin.  He removed his shirt in one fluid motion and joined her on the bed.  “You wanted me to put you down,” he murmured, as he reached over to give her bodice a tug, baring her bosom to his hungry gaze.

              Isabella gasped as cold air whispered across her bare skin, puckering her nipples into tight pebbles.

              “Cold, Bella?” Gerard rasped, as he leaned forward to pull a nipple into the hot cavern of his mouth.  He promptly began to suckle.

              “Aye…no…oh!” she gasped, as his hand traveled up her leg until it reached the top of her thigh.  She squirmed until there wasn’t a space left between them.

              Gerard raised his head.  “Easy love,” he murmured.  “We have all the time in the world.”

              He leaned forward and gave her a deep kiss.  When they finally separated, he stared down at her, a slight smile curving his lips.  “I do care about you, lass,” he said solemnly, “and I intend to spend the rest of the afternoon proving it.”