Loving Me, Trusting You (16 page)

“Go to hell, Gaine,” she says and turns over, grabbing the edge of the bathtub and trying to haul herself to her feet. I grab her hips and pull her back against me, slamming her ass against my body, letting my cock shimmy between her cheeks. I manage to pull a breathy gasp from her lips before I angle myself to slide in, using her natural juices as lube. We don't need anything extra, just our bodies and a quiet moment in time.

“Mireya, you came. Some women can do it, and you're one of them. It's nothing to be ashamed of. To tell you the truth, it's kinda turning me on.” The muscles in my belly contract, begging to slam into her and watch the flesh on her plump ass shake with each thrust, but I hold back, teasing and caressing with the head of my cock. I move in just an inch and hold myself there, letting her stretch to accommodate me. She's so damn tight, I can barely take it. “Come all over my dick, and I'll give you a special treat.”

I grab her hips and hold on tight.

My logical mind wants to kick Gaine's ass, but pure, animalistic need is hard to fight. Like a horny pussycat, I arch my back and try not to purr. That would be really fucking hard to live down. Instead, I brace my hands against the shower wall and let out a growl as I push back and spear myself on Gaine's massive cock. He's not as long as Austin, but he doesn't disappoint. In fact, I think I like him better. He's the widest guy I've ever been width, almost thick enough to hurt, straddling that edge that I enjoy so much. I almost wish he'd spank my ass. Almost. Certain things are too much for my dignity to handle.

“I'll tell you what,” I whisper, feeling the rush of water against my spine like a massage. At this point, I know that Amy and Christy must guess that something is up, but I don't give a rat's ass. This is about me, proving to myself what I already know isn't true. Gaine is not just a friend with benefits. I wish he was, but he isn't. I try to imagine a girl like Amy sweeping in and taking him from me forever, drawing pet names from his lips and putting a goofy grin on his stupid ass face.

It puts me into a violent rage. Yeah, sure, I didn't let Austin go without a fight, but I didn't feel like this … I never …
came
on him, that's for sure.

“You do the work and I'll forget to kick your ass later. How does
that
sound?” Gaine shoves into me with a grunt, slapping his body against mine with a splatter of hot water, soaking the tiled floor even more. I let him move inside of me the same way he did before. Same motion, different hole. I smile and then end up biting my lip so hard it bleeds when he increases his pace, going at me with the monstrous frenzy he held back before. Anal sex feels fucking delicious, but you can't pummel an ass the way you can pummel a pussy, just wasn't built for it. This, this was
designed
to take a good beating. “Harder, you stupid, snatch sucking son of a slut.” Gaine slams into me and my elbows go weak, loosing my grip on the wall and dropping my face to the edge of the tub. My cheek hits the plastic surround with a grunt, but he doesn't slow. He moves faster and deeper, filling me up and making my insides tingle like they never have before.

If I was out to prove myself a point, I've just learnt the opposite.

Fuck.

“Stop!” I scream suddenly, and he does, just like that. Gaine knows my past, so he knows when to push and when to let go. This time, he backs off, sliding out of me and falling back on his ass in the tub.

I push myself to my feet and try not to let my past screw with my head, with my emotions. I need to know what this is and why it's there. It's just a little niggle at this point, but I feel like it could be more. That scares the crap out of me.

“
Estoy perdiendo mi maldita mente. Me estoy volviendo loca. Esto no puede suceder. Me niego a dejar que esto suceda.
” I stumble out of the shower, catching myself on the curtain and grab the towel that's hanging over a metal bar next to the door.

“What does that mean? Mireya?” Gaine stands up and fixes his pants, shoving his erect cock inside like it doesn't even matter. He comes after me, but it doesn't do him any good. Mireya Sawyer is an expert at running away.

When I open the door, I come face to face with Amy. She looks a little confused, but unconcerned.

“Are you alright?” she asks as I push past her, wishing with a tiny part of myself that I had that much innocence, that I could be that pure and simple. I feel like a twisted mass, a tainted piece of trouble that's better left alone. I open the door to the hallway before Gaine can even make it out of the bathroom and go running, sprinting down the hallway with dripping hair and no clothes, my pussy swollen and aching with desperation. It wants to be filled, caressed, teased. I
need
that release, and there's only one person I want it from.
Gaine.
The problem is, the more I'm with him, the more I want to be. The ache never seems to subside; it's always there, deep down, mocking me with something I can't have.

Love.

That's the worst four letter word in my book, and unfortunately, that fucker is out of print.

I keep running and don't stop until I'm sliding down the wall in the stairwell with tears running down my cheeks again. No matter what I do lately, I can't seem to stop crying.

I know I can't leave Amy and Christy alone in the room, so I'm tickled fucking pink when I find Beck in the hallway and grab him by the shoulder.

“Watch the girls for me?” I ask without an explanation. He looks at me with one red brow climbing towards his hairline, but he doesn't ask questions. He knows better than that. I've been doing this dance with Mireya for a long time now, and when it finally looks like it might pay off, that we might actually be able to come together for a waltz, she takes off running.

I follow the water spots on the carpet until I get to the door to the stairwell, pausing just outside to listen in. Sobs. I don't need to hear anything else.

I fling the door open so hard that it slams into the wall behind me and leaves a massive dent in the drywall. Fuck it though. They can bill me for all I care. I bend down next to Mireya's crumpled form and take her into my arms, feeling her stiffen as I fall back against the wall with her in my lap.

“Let go of me,” she commands, but it only lasts a moment and then she's falling apart the way I always thought she should. Sometimes, we have to break ourselves into pieces before we can be whole again. Otherwise, we're just a jumble of dented parts.

I kiss her hair and squeeze her so tight that my muscles strain against the sleeves of my shirt, threatening to rend them at the seams. She shouldn't be like this. She's strong, confident, powerful. This pain, this ache, this should've never been inflicted on a woman this perfect. I have never felt a stronger urge to kill than I do now. I want to find Bested by Crows and tear them apart, one by one.

I hold my woman in my arms and promise that I'll never let her go, even if I can't say it aloud. In my head, I run through it over and over again.
I love you, and I'll protect you, whether you want me to or not.
And it's not because she's a woman, it's simply because I love her. That's it, all there is to it.

“Leave me alone, Gaine. I have things figured out. I function a certain way. I can't do that with you harping and nagging all the damn time.” Mireya swipes her hand across her eyes angrily and glares at me, all of that fire and passion burning in her blood. I can feel her body like it's a brand, burning me and drawing welts along my skin. I want more, and my dick rises, poking against her ass like the fucker he is. I don't push it though. I understand where she's been and what she can handle, and I never, ever want to overstep those boundaries.

Still, I can see the way she swallows. I notice the way she adjusts herself, so that she's straddling my lap. We both do.

“I don't want anything from you,” she tells me, and I listen because, no matter what I say, she's mine and I'm hers. That's it. It's woven into the tapestry of the universe. It's fuckin' fate. I touch her high cheekbone, run my fingers down that sculpted jaw to the point of her chin. When I kiss her, it's just a brush of flesh on flesh. I don't press it, don't force it. I beckon and she comes, willingly. That's all I want.

Her tongue crashes into mine and her fingers scramble at my back, digging into the fabric of my shirt and yanking it up and over, past our hungry mouths until she tosses it onto the floor in a soggy heap. Her hands run down my chest and caress my muscles, feeling them contract as she moves. I let her see the pleasure and the desire in my face, but I don't do a damn thing. I just wait, letting her set the pace because I know that's what she needs.

When she reaches down for my pants, I let out a groan of relief. She doesn't waste another second, sliding down along me until I'm pressed so firmly against her that it's hard to tell where one of us begins and one ends. Just as it should be.

Her arms come around my neck and our eyes lock. As she slides up and down my shaft, soaking me with her juices, squeezing me tight, I just watch her. I watch and I look and I listen. And when she comes, soaking me, drenching the floor with her essence, I wait. Only until after I'm sure she's at the edge again do I let myself go. And when I come, when I spill my seed inside of her, I know for damn fucking sure that somebody's going to pay for what they've done.

“I ain't going to apologize for it,” I say when we roll into the next town. Austin keeps throwing me nasty looks, and Beck is laughing his ass off. Wait till he actually finds out why Austin is looking at me like that. The teasing will
never
fucking stop. “What makes you think you're any better?” Austin just shakes his head at me, blonde hair dripping with sweat. It is hot as shit out here, that's for sure. I've never been to Fort Walton, but already my impression isn't the best. The whole place looks dirty and dusty, like none of the buildings have ever seen a drop of rain or the sidewalks a broom. Kind of freaks me out.

“I never said I was better, just that I don't get caught.” He tosses me a wink and kisses Amy full on the lips before helping her off the bike. If the asshole hasn't told her he loves her yet, I'm going to kick his ass. He has no idea how good he's got it. The girl he loves doesn't mind loving him, fell into it pretty easy if you ask me. Mine's … a bit more complicated.

Our plans are all helter-skelter, that's for sure. From what I gathered at this morning's meeting, the majority of the group is staying at the hotel while the rest of us meet up with Broken Dallas. They don't know we're here, so we're taking a pretty big risk with this. If they decide they don't want us here, things could get bad. Austin and Kimmi seem pretty confident. They've worked with them before, so I guess they know what they're doing, but I never trust other MCs. More often than not, if they can fuck you, they will.

“You want to stay at the hotel?” I ask Mireya, but she won't even look at me. She's ashamed, I think, and maybe a little embarrassed, too. Opening up to someone like that isn't easy, I know. I try not to smile at her since I know it'll only make things worse and shrug my shoulders, slipping a cigarette between my lips. “I hope we're bringing firepower,” I say around my smoke as I light up. “I'd rather not spend the rest of the weekend dead.”