Loving Nicole (8 page)

“Roy?” Dragon asks and his voice takes on that extra-growly texture to it.

“Cool your jets, sweetheart. Roy is like a brother to me and gay—very happily gay.”

“Dani’s brother?”

“He’s not actually. We met him in Maryland and just clicked, though he and Dani have always been super close. When things got really bad Dani had nowhere else to go, she called me and Roy arranged to go get her. He was dating a man who could help her start a new life. With his help, Melinda died and Danielle Grant was born.”

Dragon had shifted where he was on his side while we talked. When I finished he rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling. I lie there, not talking. Even remembering this story, totally glossing over the ugliness, exhausts me. I’ve told Dragon, but he has no idea, really. He couldn’t. Dragon isn’t a man who would ever hurt a woman—let alone hurt her in ways she’d never recover from and take joy from it.

“This is a fucked up mess, Mama.”

“Yeah.”

“You should have come to me. You should have trusted me with this so I could protect you and Dani.”

His words hurt, I knew, of course, how he’d feel, but hearing it spoken out-loud and in his voice, a voice I love,
wounds me
. I shift to my side and prop my head on my arm. I would have liked to roll over on top of him, but our child prevents me. Instead, I take my free hand and exert enough pressure on the side of his face that he turns and looks at me. My thumb grazes over his strong chin. I try to will everything I feel for this man into my eyes. I want him to see how much I truly love him. I know I’ve done damage by keeping Dani’s secrets, but it’s important he sees it has hurt me too.

“Dragon, I love Dani. Until you and your club, she was the only family I ever had. I kept her secrets out of loyalty, because she asked me.”

“Nicole…”

“But even after I agreed to keep them Dragon, I was still planning on telling you. I just couldn’t right away. Dani has had so much betrayal. If I had betrayed her, I don’t think she would have survived.”

“Damn it. Mama, I can’t keep you safe if you don’t tell me. I can’t keep her safe! Nicole, she’s out there alone with no protection. That is
not
alright. You needed to let me in and trust that I can handle this shit.”

“I do! It’s not about if I trusted you. It never was! Dani didn’t want you involved. She didn’t want the club involved. You keep preaching, club business is club business. How you need to keep me safe. You should understand more than anyone that Dani felt this was
her
business, and she wanted to try and keep us all safe.”

“Running away won’t do it though. This psycho won’t stop until he has Dani, and now that he knows she’s been alive all this time and living off his money? He’ll want revenge and he’ll want it ugly.”

My stomach clenches and this sick feeling explodes inside of me. Realistically, he’s only telling me the truth, but I was trying to pretend differently.

“Maybe Dani’s right and now that she’s left, he’ll give up. Maybe he’ll grow tired when he can’t find her.”

“No, he’ll find her and he’ll use any means to achieve that.”

“What do we do?’ I whisper, because I know I was stupidly convincing myself that Dani was right. Hearing Dragon and the certainty in his voice, I’m terrified.

“Call your girl and get her to come home.”

“I can’t.”

“Why can’t you…”

“She said it was safer if I didn’t know anything. She’s going to contact me once she gets settled, through a prepaid phone she purchased when we were in town for the fitting. There’s nothing I can do until then.”

Dragon sighs, turning his head away from me and stares back at the ceiling.

“Then we wait, Mama. It’s all we can do.” The words echo into the heavy silence that has filled the room. They do nothing to assuage the fear that has taken root inside of me and the dark truth that echoes in my mind. By trying to protect my relationship and loyalty to Dani, I may have only succeeded in hurting her, or worse, getting her killed….

“Dragon,” I break off in a cry of anguish as the tears over this whole thing finally break to the surface.

Sobs rack my body as Dragon pulls himself up into a sitting a position. He props himself up against the headboard for support, then drags me over into his lap and holds me close, petting my back, while adjusting the covers over our body. He soothes me, but the tears keep coming. Dragon kisses the top of my head and lets me cry.

“We’ll find her Mama, we’ll find her and figure all this out. I promise.”

I try to hold onto those words, through my tears.

I really try
.

Dragon

I
hold Nicole
until she cries it out. Eventually exhaustion takes her over and she sleeps. I will
not
be sleeping. Fuck, after my woman talking like she was leaving me, I may never sleep again. At thirty-six years old, I don’t think anything or anyone has ever gutted me like hearing Nicole tell me she needed time away from me.

I get her settled and she snuggles up against the pillow. I get dressed because I need a drink.
Fuck
, I need a drink. First, I called the church meeting. I’m running late, but what-the-fuck-ever at this point. Today has been one shit-storm after another.

“Does your woman know where Dani is?”

I barely make it out the door when Crusher comes at me. I reach out my hand and push his shoulder back. What the fuck?

“Nicole is sleeping fucker, step back into the main room and we’ll talk.”

“Fuck, that. I need to find Dani. Does your woman fucking know where she is or not?”

Crush’s face is red, his hair is rumpled and the brother looks torn up. How did Dani get her hooks in him that deep, before I realized it?

“You need to step the fuck back, man. I told you Nicole is sleeping. She cried herself to sleep and by God she’s going to rest. You feel me?”

Crush rakes his hands through his hair.

“You don’t understand Drag, this bastard will hurt her.”

Somehow, I just know the
her
he’s talking about, is
not
Nicole. Probably, because I’m not stupid.

“You knew about this shit?” I growl walking through the hallway towards my office where we’re meeting.

“I knew she was running. Didn’t know what from, until all this shit went down. She left me a damn note, a fucking note!”

“Something you want to tell me, brother?” I ask as we close the door to the office. The others are already there.

“She’s mine, Dragon. I’ve got to find her and you can either help me or get the fuck out of my way,” Crush says and the room goes deathly quiet.

“You need to calm your ass and sit the fuck down,” I say quietly. It’s taking all I have right now not to lay my brother out.

“Bullshit! If Nicole were involved, you’d be tearing the place apart trying to find this motherfucker!” Crush argues.

I grab him by his cut and slam him back against the wall. His hands come up but he doesn’t fight me. Still, I can see the need to do so in his eyes.

“Nicole is involved, motherfucker. Now you need to listen to me. Step. The. Fuck. Down. Do
not
cause me more shit, because all that will do is slow us down.”

He stares at me, his body is rigid.

“I will find her, Dragon.”

“No, Crush,
we’ll
find her. Last thing you need to do is go off half-cocked and take on this dude. He’s a bad motherfucker and he has the money to back that shit up. We’ll handle this my way. You feel me?”

He shrugs away from my hold, I let him. I’d like to acquaint his teeth with my fist for mouthing off to me, but I’ve got bigger fish to fry.

“Freak, you got my info?” I growl turning back to the table where the rest of the men are sitting. For now, I’m letting Crusher slide. One thing is clear though, his head is not in the game. I’m going to have to be careful how I deal with him. Part of me understands it, hell I’ve been there with Nicole. Still, you got to keep your head at all times. If you don’t your woman ends up dead and maybe a lot more along with her.

“Yeah, man,” he replies sliding over a manila folder towards me. I pick it up off the table and look through the information he’s gathered on Michael Kavanagh. I thumb through the papers while sitting down.

“Where’s our guest?”

“Frog’s sitting on him at the shed,” Hawk speaks up.

I look up at all my brothers. None are smiling, which is good because we’re in the middle of a crap-fest. That said, Bull’s look is different. Fuck, I can’t deal with more than one fucking mess at a time.

“Call Frog, tell him to let the son of a bitch go.”

“The fuck you will, that might be the only lead we have back to Dani!” Crusher yells.

“Crush, man, I’m not telling your ass again. Rein your shit in. Nicole said Dani left on her own. She promised to check in soon with Nicole. We’ll have to wait to handle that shit then. For now, listen up because I’m not going to fucking explain myself to you again. We’re letting the weasel go and we’re following him back to his man. Got it?”

“We need to work him over and find out exactly what they know about Dani. We can get this Michael’s whereabouts from him that way. None of this cat and mouse shit,” Crusher argues yet-a-fuck-again.

If I were still standing up, I’d kick his ass. I’m too fucking tired and worn out to fool with it right now.

“Get the fuck out!” I order instead. The room goes silent.

“Damn it, Drag! We have to…”

“You’re not hearing me motherfucker, I said get the fuck out. I can’t deal with your shit right now. You are out of this until you manage to get your head out of your ass, untie the knot in your balls and listen to sense.”

“Drag!”

“Get out, motherfucker!
Now.
”

Crusher’s face is frozen and he’s pissed. I can see it big time, I also know I’m doing this now, so there’s not a bigger problem later.

He slams out the door without another word.

I sigh heavily.
Fuck.

“Now, let’s talk over this shit and then you call Frog and tell him to let the son of a bitch free.”

Crusher

I
stomp out
of the meeting without another fucking word. Son of a bitch wouldn’t listen anyways. He’d be singing a different tune if it was Nicole out there missing. I’ve been messing around with Dani for a month now. I thought it was just sex. Hell, that’s all I’ve ever wanted from a woman. I don’t think I’m built for more—or at least I wasn’t.

Then the damn woman turned shit on me. She got jealous of a fucking night I had before her and I even hooked up. Freak’s woman Nikki had never had a threesome and wanted to. Brother trusted me to show his woman a good time—and it fucking was a
good
time. Still, it wasn’t something I was looking to repeat. Dani flipped her fucking lid. Sure, she thought it was something more recent, but still. If I live to be a hundred I don’t think I will ever figure that damned woman out.

Maybe that’s what keeps me interested. I don’t know. All I know, is that she is different from any woman I’ve been with. Dani has so many layers, I’m not sure I’ll ever reach the center. The only thing I am certain of is that trying will be a hell of a ride.

The last few days have been special. Something happened when she thought I had screwed another woman while visiting her bed. I don’t know what exactly, I just know it caused her to reveal a little more of herself to me and in doing that I saw this vulnerable side I never knew existed with Dani. She let me in…not a lot, but enough that she spoke vaguely of her past and her fears.

I need to keep her safe. She might not have told me the story, but I saw the desperation in her eyes when she thought of it. I heard the fear in her voice and the hopelessness that was inside of her. I’m not in love; I don’t
do
that shit. I will never be the type to be owned by a woman like Dragon, or Dance for that matter. But, I wasn’t lying when I told Dragon she’s mine. I’ve claimed her and I
will
protect her.

So even though it’s against Dragon’s orders, and everything I should do as a member of the club, I’m getting the ATV out of the shelter and driving up to the cabin. I’m going to interrogate the bastard and I
will
find out where the fuck this Michael is before he can hurt Dani.

*

“Hey Crush, Drag
and the boys didn’t say anyone was coming back tonight,” Frog says as he unlocks the shed door after I knock.

“Drag’s stressed man, he probably forgot. He tell you about plans for the piss-ant we’re holding?”

“Yeah dude, I was just about to go in there and let him go.”

“I’ll do it, I’m supposed to relieve you anyways. I got to play shadow and see where the fuck the dude heads out to.”

“Sounds like a fun job—not.”

“Pretty much, but one of the sorry-ass perks of being the club VP.”

“I hear ya’. I guess I’m out of here then. Call me when you need relief.”

“Will do,” I say and barely keep from screaming
get the fuck out
. Frog pisses in the wind for another ten minutes or so and finally leaves.