Loving Protector (6 page)

“Perhaps it was harsh, and perhaps I am
now sorry I said it. But your daughter needs to learn two things. Humility and
how to behave in polite society. I do not blame you, Evelyn.” Lady Bedlington’s
voice became kinder. “Your manners are impeccable, as are Calista’s. Though
even she is prone to emotional outbursts when she feels strongly about
something.” Calista blushed, but saw that Lady Bedlington was smiling kindly at
her. “Blanche would do well to study from you both.  Believe me, if Miss
Kirkham does not hear the truth from me, in the privacy of this room, and does
not take note, she will hear it in public, and I can assure you, much harsher
things will be said of her. I am sure you do not wish that to happen. So as
unkind as I may seem, I am in fact rendering your daughter a kindness in being
so candid at such an early stage in her social life.”

“We thank you for your candid words.
Blanche, do you have something to say to Lady Bedlington?”

“I humbly apologise for my behaviour,
Lady Bedlington.”

“Very well. Nothing that has been said
in this room will be repeated by me, or anyone else, outside of it, and we will
all leave here as friends. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go and freshen
up.”

They curtseyed to Lady Bedlington and
she left the room, reaching into her reticule as she did so.

The moment the old lady left the room,
Blanche’s humble demeanour changed. “I hate her, and I hate you two. When I am
the Duchess of Midchester, she will be thrown out of society. I will make it my
life’s work to make sure that happens. As for you two, you always preferred it
in Derbyshire anyway.”

“Blanche,” said Calista, feeling as if
the cold hand of gloom gripped her heart. “Blanche, please listen to what she
says. She is only trying to be helpful.”

“Oh, but you are her pet. Everyone can
see that. You think everything she does is wonderful. No doubt trying to keep
on the good side of her nouveau riche nephew. ”

“I am sorry that her harsh words caused
you pain,” said Calista, keeping her anger under control. “Even if you do not believe
it to be so. You are very well liked, I am sure. All the young men I danced
with preferred to be with you.”

“I do not need you to patronize me,
Calista.” Even so, there was a look of triumph in Blanche’s eyes.

“I wasn’t … I…”

Blanche was not listening. She swept out
of the room with a regal gait.

“Oh Calista,” said Evelyn, sinking down
onto the sofa and putting her head in her hands. “I have never been so ashamed
in my life.”

Calista knelt at Evelyn’s feet. “It was
just high spirits, I am sure.”

“But the way she spoke about ruining
Lady Bedlington’s standing in society. I do believe she means it. I am afraid,
Calista, desperately afraid. For her, for you, for me.”

“I do not think you need be afraid for
Lady Bedlington’s standing in society,” said Calista with a smile. “I have no
doubt she can hold her own. I also suspect she does not care much more for
society than her great nephew.”

“People only say that until they’re
faced with the fear of losing their standing in the Ton,” said Evelyn. Her eyes
had a faraway look. “If Blanche knew how much she had to lose…”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I am being silly. Nothing bad
will happen. And if we are exiled back to Derbyshire, I for one will not be
sorry. Will you?”

“No, no of course not.”

“Except,” Evelyn said perceptively,
“there is no Colonel Windebank in Derbyshire.”

“Or Mr. Benedict,” Calista teased.
Instead of smiling back, Evelyn’s face took on a look of doom again.

“Please tell me what troubles you,” said
Calista.

“I sometimes feel that if I do not tell
someone I shall explode,” said Evelyn. “But I am afraid, Calista. You are a
good, honourable girl and I have enjoyed having you as my daughter. I fear that
if I tell you the truth about myself, I will lose your love and affection.”

“Nothing could make that happen, I swear
it.”

Evelyn took a deep breath and seemed to
come to a decision. “Very well. But I will tell you when we return to Lady
Bedlington’s. I fear we may be overheard here.”

They returned home in the early hours of
the morning. Blanche swept past everyone and announced she was going to bed.
Evelyn and Calista had a brief conversation with Lady Bedlington about the
ball, avoiding the more emotional parts of the evening. Evelyn bid them
goodnight, and Calista was about to leave when Lady Bedlington called her back.

“What is it?”

“Sit down, child.”

Calista did as she was told. “Have I
done something wrong? If it is about my outburst…”

Lady Bedlington smiled and held up her
hand to stop Calista. “You did nothing wrong. I just want to be sure about one
thing.”

“What is that?”

“That you are as much in love with my
nephew as I believe you to be.”

“I …I would not presume to … what I mean
is … I know he could never love someone like me. So please do not think I am
out to trap him or anything like that.”

“I did not suggest any such thing. But I
think you have just answered my question anyway.” The truth was that Calista
had not known it herself until Lady Bedlington asked her. The realization hit
her like a tornado, churning up her emotions, and also terrifying her. “I only
asked,” continued Lady Bedlington, “because my nephew has known a lot of pain
in his life. I do not want to see him hurt again.”

“Would you prefer it if I went away? I
could return to Derbyshire tomorrow.”

“No, child. Whatever made you think such
a thing?”

“I thought you disapproved.”

“Believe me, if I did you would know
about it. I just need to know that I can trust you, Calista. Because I am
afraid.”

Calista looked at Lady Bedlington wide-eyed.
She had spoken the exact same words as Evelyn. Calista had put her
step-mother’s words down to nervousness and shame over Blanche’s behaviour. Now
she truly understood that malevolence crackled in the air. Lady Bedlington had
also picked up on it.

“I must protect you, child,” said Lady
Bedlington. “And between us, we must protect Brook. He is more vulnerable than
he realizes. Can I count on you?”

“Yes, of course, I would do anything to
protect him.”

Chapter
Six

“I just want to assure you of one more
thing before you go to bed,” said Lady Bedlington. Calista had risen from the
sofa and was halfway to the door.

“What is that?”

“Whatever might happen in the future,
child, you are not without friends or protection. You may always come to me.
Remember that.”

“Do you mean if Evelyn marries Mr.
Benedict and papa’s annuity ends?”

Lady Bedlington did not answer for a
long time. She just looked tired and old. “Yes, I suppose that is what I mean.”

Calista was grateful to go up to bed.
She needed time to think over what had been said. Only she remembered that
Evelyn had promised to speak to her. She knocked quietly on her step-mother’s
bedroom door.

“Come in, Calista.”

Evelyn was sitting up in bed. She too
looked tired, but she also looked very beautiful. “I’m sorry I kept you
waiting,” said Calista. She went to sit on the edge of the bed.

“I understand. One does not ignore a
command from Lady Bedlington. I cannot always work her out. One moment she is
all kindness. The next … well, she has the sting of a scorpion. Though I do
believe her kindness always wins out. What did she wish to see you about? Or is
that yet another secret you are sworn to keep.”

“I do not think it is a secret. She is
afraid of something, as you are. Anything other than that, I cannot tell you.
It is rather nebulous, and yet …”

“And yet you do not doubt her fears.”

“No. Nor yours. If you are tired, I
could come back in the morning.” For reasons Calista could not fathom, suddenly
she did not want to know Evelyn’s secret. The truth was a frightening prospect.
The truth, she felt, might tear their lives apart, though she had no idea why
that might be.

“You do not want to know?”

“Yes, of course.” Calista took Evelyn’s
hand in hers. “Of course, but only if you wish to tell me.”

“It is rather a long story. Or perhaps
it is not. I could just blurt out a simple fact and have it over with. Only …
only I want you to understand that I did not feel at the time that I did
anything wrong. I was in love.”

“With Mr. Benedict?”

“Yes. With Mr. Benedict. Harry and I
grew up together. We were childhood sweethearts, with all the innocent pursuits
that entails. Then …” Evelyn paused. “Then we were not so innocent. I was
seventeen and he was eighteen and we were in love. Nothing seemed wrong then.
Can you understand that? Regardless of what society says, or what the bible
says, nothing seemed wrong to us. Because we loved each other.  Do you
understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

“I think so,” said Calista.

“But Harry had to go away to university
and I did not want to hold him back. He is every bit as talented an architect
as your father. So he went off to Oxford. I waited for him to write to me, but
he did not. I sent him dozens of notes, declaring my love, but heard nothing.
When my father announced that Mr. Kirkham had asked for my hand in marriage, I
agreed. More out of anger than anything.  I was sure Harry had forgotten
about me and found a new love. Or perhaps lots of new loves. So I married Mr. Kirkham.
Even then, with everything that had happened, I was an innocent. So when I
found out I was expecting Blanche, I told my husband, thinking he would be
pleased. Sadly he was better at arithmetic than I was.”

“What do you mean?”

Evelyn lowered her voice. “I mean
Blanche could not possibly be his child. She is Harry’s.”

“Oh.”

“Now I have lost you.”

“No, please do not think that. I am
surprised, but not shocked or outraged. You must have loved Mr. Benedict very
much.”

“I did. Of course, my husband could not
divorce me without bringing shame upon himself. But he never let me forget my
own shame, and he never … I feel embarrassed telling you this, considering I
have told you so much. He never touched me again. In public he would be a
doting husband, but at home I would have to endure a dozen slights every day.
That is the atmosphere in which Blanche grew up. She has no respect for me,
because her father, perhaps reasonably, had no respect for me.”

“I am so sorry you’ve suffered so much.”

“Not always. I want you to know that I
did not deceive your father. When he asked for my hand in marriage, I told him
the truth about everything. I was sure he would say he did not want to marry
me. When he said it did not matter, I still refused, convinced he would change
once we were married. He remained constant and true, asking me time and again
to be his wife. So much so that what was a fondness for him changed to deep and
abiding love. He never betrayed that love by treating me cruelly after we
married. I can honestly say that the few years I spent with your father were
amongst the happiest of my life.”

“I am glad. Papa loved you as you
deserve to be loved. No one should have to suffer for one mistake.”

“Sadly it is not only I who will suffer
if anyone ever finds out. Now you can perhaps understand why Mr. Benedict’s
reappearance in my life was not a good thing. If the truth ever came out,
Blanche might be ruined. All her hopes and dreams of being a duchess
shattered.”

“How would anyone ever find out?”

“I do not know, Calista. But even Lady
Bedlington knows that Harry and I were childhood sweethearts, and I am sure
others are also better at arithmetic than I was. And now you know.”

“I would never betray you.”

“No, I know that, dearest. That is why I
knew I could tell you. Please promise me that this has not changed the way you
feel about me.”

“Not at all. I am only sorry that your
life was so sad until you met Papa. Does Mr. Benedict know?”

“No!” Evelyn looked startled. “No, and
he must never know.”

“Has he given any explanation as to why
he did not write to you? Because I have seen the way he looks at you, and he
clearly has a high regard for you.”

“We managed to speak about it only this
morning. I made a joke of it, telling him that his letter writing skills were
not very good. He says that he wrote many times and that he was heartbroken
when he heard that I married another. The funny thing is, I believe him. I now
think that my father hid the letters, as he had found what he thought was a
better match.”

“I really do not see why you cannot be
together,” said Calista. “If you love each other.”

“I have been lucky enough to know
happiness twice in my life, Calista. Once with Harry when I was very young, and
once with your father. I do not deceive myself that at my age I can find such happiness
again. Perhaps now I am truly being punished for my youthful behaviour.”