Loving the Beast (Skye Warren) (A) (7 page)

“How dare you.” He practically roared at his mother. “How dare you put your hands on her. How dare you even
speak
to her.”

His mother didn’t stand up, barely even looked up. Wouldn’t meet his eyes. “She… she…”

“She doesn’t exist to you. Not anymore. And neither do I.” Blake turned to her, his expression like stone. “Go upstairs and pack. I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”

He was going to continue defending her, and judging by the dark look in his eyes, it was going to be awful. Awful enough to ruin any chance of reconciliation between him and his parents. Even if he didn’t mind that thought now, he might eventually. She wouldn’t be responsible for that. She couldn’t.

“Please,” she begged. “Come with me. Take me away from here.”

Jeb stepped forward, his eyes somber. “Take care of her. She’s the most important. Your mother and I will have words.”

Blake looked torn. He gently pushed a piece of hair out of Erin’s eyes. “She can’t treat you that way.”

“I didn’t let her,” Erin said. Her voice grew stronger. “I stood up for myself, but now I just want to go.”

He took her in his arms, careful as if he knew she might be sore. And she was, though more in her heart, than from anywhere his mother had touched. “My beautiful, brave girl. Let’s go. Let’s get you out of here.”

*     *     *

B
LAKE DROVE WITHOUT
any idea where he was going.

Their original plan had been to spend one more night at his parent’s house. Then they’d head to Erin’s mother’s house in the morning. Instead they’d hastily packed their bags and tossed them in the trunk. It was nine o’clock at night, and he was barreling down the highway without a plan.

It occurred to him that he might not be in a good frame of mind to drive. He saw the road, but it was mostly a blur. A dark blur. Well, he wasn’t about to ask Erin to drive—not after she’d been berated and insulted. Not after she’d been fucking
assaulted.

God, he still couldn’t believe his mother had gone that far.

It was despicable. It was unforgivable. It was a wonder Erin had even gotten in a car with him after what he’d subjected her to, but then again, it had been the fastest way out of that house. Had he lost her now? Had he really managed to fuck up the best thing in his life with one small, final act of loyalty to a family that didn’t deserve it? He should never have brought her for a visit.

He found himself pulling off on a familiar exit. He’d driven this way so many times that it felt like second nature, even though it had been years now. The manicured plots and bright storefronts quickly gave way to a dark, tree-lined road. It might even be spooky if he didn’t know how cheery the dappled black concrete and yellow stripes looked in the daylight.

He had no idea what Erin thought about this turn of events. She hadn’t spoken much since they’d left, just a few nods and murmurs when required.

“Away,” had been her answer, when he’d asked her where she wanted to go.

He didn’t like the idea of driving to Sophia’s house tonight. For one thing, it would take a few hours, so they’d be exhausted by then. For another, Sophia wasn’t expecting them, so it might inconvenience her. And lastly, he didn’t want to force Erin to confront her mother when she seemed somehow fragile. He knew they were close—definitely nothing like his relationship with his parents—but this particular issue hit a little close to home.

And so, he found himself heading toward Lover’s Point, a plateau with a great view of the city. By day it was visited by hikers along a five mile trail. By night it served as the premier make out spot.

He had no plans to make out with her. Even though she’d never been more beautiful, more desirable to him, she also seemed somehow untouchable. Ephemeral in the moonlight coming through the window, her skin pale and eyes fathomless.

Plus he couldn’t trust himself to be gentle right now.

Not with his rage so close to the surface. Still, it would be a quiet place they could sit and talk. If Erin would even talk to him.

The car bumped along the dirt path—well traveled by high schoolers, including himself, but still plenty uneven after every rain. All the cars, all the years, couldn’t smooth out a land this ancient. When he reached the grassy clearing, he stopped the car.

The city stretched out in front of them, a blanket of lights to a city already abed.

“It’s beautiful,” Erin said, her voice soft.

He couldn’t even look directly at her, because she made his chest tight and his face tight and his body tight. All he could do was look out at the city. “Yes.”

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

She was thanking him? No, he needed to be on his fucking knees, thanking her for being with him, for staying with him, thanking her for fucking existing—because she was his light. Not a single one in that city shone for him. Only the woman sitting next to him lit up a damn thing.

“Baby,” he said hoarsely. “We need to talk about what happened.”

“Do we?” She sounded confused, almost lost.

“We do, because you need to know that it was not okay, that I don’t support what happened in any way, that I wish to hell I’d gotten back to you a few minutes sooner so I could have put a stop to it myself.”

“I know.”

“I would never allow her to disrespect you in my presence, and I’m sick over the fact that I did allow it, by not realizing it would happen, by not being there for you.”

She put her hand on his. “Blake, I know.”

He pulled himself together enough to realize she’d had to repeat herself. He turned his hand over to hold hers. “How can you be okay with this?”

“I’m not okay with what happened. But it wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have predicted she’d act like that. And once you realized, you got me out of there.”

He studied her arm, looking for any signs of bruising. It was too shadowy in the car to see. “Where did she hurt you?” When she seemed reluctant to answer, he added, “I need to know.”

“She grabbed my wrist, that’s all.”

“That’s all? That’s a big fucking deal.”

“I didn’t mean to… okay, yeah, I meant to downplay it. I just meant I’m fine. It will be tender for a little while. No medical intervention required.”

He still didn’t like how casual she was being about being manhandled, but he recognized she wanted to drop the subject. And short of taking her to an emergency room, which would be more traumatic for her, there wasn’t anything else he could do.

He ran a hand through his hair. “I suppose she told you about my father. And your mother.”

That got her attention. Her eyes widened, two dark ponds in the night. “What about them?”

“According to my father, they had an affair. A consensual affair. He claims to have cared about her. But when my mother found out, things got ugly, as he put it. I guess we saw a taste of that today.”

“God,” she breathed. “All these years, I never knew.”

“My father has done some brave things in his lifetime. Even though I didn’t get along with him, I looked up to him, knowing what he’d accomplished. But in that moment, he was a coward. He didn’t stand up for the woman he supposedly cared for, didn’t protect and defend her.”

She squeezed his hand gently until he met her eyes again. “You’re not him,” she said softly. “You did defend me. You always protect me.”

He let out a breath. “Jesus, Erin. I want that to be true.”

“It is true. You’re strong and capable and incredibly intelligent. And you use all of that, the entire force of you, to make my life better. Sometimes I don’t feel… deserving.”

Suspicion formed in his gut. “If she wasn’t telling you about my father, what was she saying?”

Erin looked away. “Just some stuff about relationships,” she mumbled.

“Erin,” he said, putting steel into his words. He knew this was uncomfortable for her, but he needed to know what had been said. Especially since it made Erin like this, curled up and somehow ashamed.

Instead of answering, Erin opened the car door and stepped outside. She might have murmured something like “need some air” but she didn’t pause to make sure he’d heard. The car door slammed shut, and he was quick to follow her into the night.

He wouldn’t push her to talk. He realized that much. If there was a risk she would run away from him, he would just have to live without fucking knowing what his mother had said to upset and hurt her.

She stood looking out over the city, and he was struck with a sense of déjà vu for all the nights he had woken up from a nightmare. They hadn’t been sleeping but in essence that was what Erin had just done—woken up from a nightmare. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her middle, warding off the cool breeze. Her gaze was far away, unseeing.

He came to her from behind, putting his arms around her. He held her gently and kissed the top of her head, the same way she had kissed the middle of his back.

“You okay?” he murmured.

“Getting there.” She twined her arms over his, locking them together. “This is helping.”

“Good.” The night air was cool, borderline cold, but soothed him. Still he pulled her in close to keep her warm. “We can find a decent motel on the highway. Stay the night, then head to your mother’s as planned in the morning. Does that sound okay?”

“Sure.” She sighed. “I mean, it sounds like a really good plan. Sorry I’m kind of distracted.”

“Christ, Erin, you keep apologizing.”

“Sorry, I—” She laughed. “I’ll stop.”

He shook his head, a slight smile on his face. God, this woman. He couldn’t get enough of her. He wanted to hold her, breathe her in. In all honesty, he wanted to fuck her. He was hard as the fucking rocks around them. Apparently his body hadn’t gotten the message about extreme emotional distress. Or actually it had gotten the message, but it interpreted his adrenaline rush as arousal. Here he was, holding the most beautiful, sexy woman he’d ever known—and his dick had no idea why it couldn’t be in her. He cleared his throat and took a half step back to make sure she wouldn’t feel the erection against her back.

When she rocked her hips back in a sensual, knowing sway, he knew it was too late. She already knew. Now wasn’t the right time. She was vulnerable and hurt. He shouldn’t touch her. But her body invited him in with a soft moan he barely heard over the crickets and the pounding of his heart, and he was helpless to refuse.

Chapter Seven

E
RIN TURNED IN
Blake’s arms. She knew they had things to discuss. Important things, like whatever doubts she still harbored that had let Bel mess with her head. They needed to talk about them and deal with them… but right now she didn’t have the strength for that. She’d used all she had standing up for herself and holding her head up high in the few minutes it took them to leave the house. And Blake’s arms felt too good—warm and strong and secure. Like she could let go and be completely safe.

And so that was all she wanted to do, let go in the most carnal way, to pant and rock and fuck until she’d lost all thought, until her body was a mindless mass of pleasure.

Blake’s eyes were dark with concern. “Are you sure—”

She silenced him with a hand on his cock. He was already hard as steel in his jeans. She rubbed the taut denim, savoring his rough groan. “Are you?” she asked.

She didn’t mean sex. She meant sure about them. About their marriage. She meant all the deep things she hadn’t wanted to discuss yet.

He grunted and closed his eyes. “Fuck yes.”

He might have meant sex or he might have meant everything. It didn’t matter.
Right answer.

She made quick work of his jeans, unzipping them and shoving them down his hips. His cock sprang out, thick and heavy in her hands. “Someone might see,” he warned.

“Let them.” She wanted them to see, the whole city watching. She wanted everyone to know that Blake Morris was hers. And most of all, she needed to show herself it was still true.

He groaned, leaning down for a kiss. It was blunt, that kiss. A little messy. She loved the way he was with her—raw and unchecked. Except he wasn’t really unchecked. Even now, as carnal as he was, he held something back. She’d always assumed it had to do with him. With his time in the army or his perception of himself as a monster.

But a new thought occurred to her, especially after the events of the day, after the careful and cruel incision into her fears. What if he held back because of
her
. Because he didn’t know if she could handle him.

There was a time she would have scoffed at the idea. Of course she could handle anything he did to her body, her mind. She craved it. But now, feeling stripped down and abraded, she wasn’t so sure. And yet that didn’t stop her from wanting him.

If she was going to break, she wanted him to be the one to break her.

“Fuck me,” she whispered.

“What?” He pulled back to meet her eyes. It wasn’t the language she usually used with him, and there was a question in his eyes. Did she really want this? Was she too upset to make decisions for herself?

It made her angry. And it made her sad. She shoved at his chest with her fists. “I said fuck me.”

“Erin, baby. I’ll make you feel good.”

That was him, making her come, making her shudder and scream her way through climax.
Let me take care of you.
He was such a good man. But for tonight, she wanted him to be bad.

She shoved him again, her forearms against his body. “Not good, Blake. Hard. Do it hard.”

His eyes flashed with something dangerous—and seductive. “You don’t want it like this.”

“Don’t tell me what I want. I want to feel…” She considered all the things she wanted to feel. Pain. Pleasure. The soul-deep uncertainty that she had somehow named love. In the end, it was simpler than that. “I just want to
feel.
”

He took a step back. “I love you.”

She followed him, placing a hand on his chest, petting him, apologizing if she’d hurt him. “Then fuck me like you mean it. Do whatever you want with me.”

The decision came faster than she was expecting. And it came in the form of his hand in her hair, pulling back, turning her face up to the sky. She gasped but let her body hang by his touch.