Loving the Wild Card (25 page)

While the men turned their attention to each other, Lux used the time to
approach Rachel. She didn’t know what to say. But there was a look in her
sister-in-law’s eyes that told her she would take good care of her husband.
“There is no doubt in my mind that one day you and I will have a chance to get
to know each other. I don’t know how it’s going to happen, but I will make it
happen.”

“Sam and I are resourceful, but the Kingdoms are more so. Don’t be
afraid to use them. For my part, I’ll do what I can. I lost my only sibling. I
don’t want that for Sam and you.”

While Lux had no idea what Rachel was talking about in regards to the
loss of a sibling, she knew her words were important.

The Kingdoms had each other and together they were an almost
impenetrable unit. While she might still be on the peripheral, she would
endeavor to use their considerable means to ensure her brother’s safety. But
first, she wanted all the gaps filled in. As things stood with the departure of
her brother, only one person could do that, Josh.

Chapter
27

From the way she was looking at him, Josh knew he faced a barrage of
questions. Given that Sam had opened avenues of uncertainties, he braced
himself for what was to come. True to form, Lux began her inquisition with a
direct hit.

“Who do you work for, Joshua?”

Unable to stop a smile from splitting his face, he shook his head in
reaction to her question. He would answer her, but he would do it in his way
and in his own time because giving Lux the upper hand, for the most part, was a
mistake.

“Let’s go.”

“You work for let’s go?” Lux asked sarcastically, maintaining her
position.

“Get your coat, Luxandria.”

“Am I to take it that if I don’t do as you say you’re not going to
answer my questions?”

“I wouldn’t have put it quite that way, but it sort of sums it up, yes.”

Her look of defiance was priceless, but he knew she took note of his
seriousness. One roll of her eyes later and she was on the move.

While she went to get her coat, Josh made a little detour a smile
splitting his face.

They drove for about thirty minutes and Josh knew the exact moment she
realized where they were heading. Pulling in front of their house, he cut the
engine and waited for her reaction.

“I can’t believe you kept it.”

“This is our home, Lux, and we had more good times here than bad. It’s
where we began our married life together. If the house is going to be sold,
that’s a decision we’ll make together.”

Josh was watching her closely for a reaction to his words. Unsure of
what her continued silence meant, he didn’t push the subject. He realized they
still had a long way to go but as far as he was concerned, what they once
shared was worth fighting for. However, he had no idea if she wanted the same
thing; hence his bringing her here. Maybe a visit to the house would serve as a
reminder of the good times.

Leaving the car, he walked around the vehicle and opened her door. When
she didn’t move to get out, he hoped he hadn’t miscalculated.

Extending a hand, Josh waited to see what she would do. When she slipped
her hand into his and held on tight, he finally released his breath. Cautioning
himself to go slowly, he secured the car and they both climbed the stairs that
would take them back to a place filled with memories.

Once inside the living room, Lux released his hand and stood perfectly
still. When she began to move, Josh watched her in an attempt to decipher her
thoughts.

“You kept everything the same.”

“I already told you, any decisions or changes, we’ll make together. I
have a cleaner who comes once a week to make sure everything is in order. The
house is just how you left it.”

“How involved are you with my brother?”

Josh didn’t know what he’d expected with this walk down memory lane, but
he should have known better. Before they could move forward, they needed to
revisit the past and put it to rest. He was unsure of the outcome, but he was
prepared to offer her as much honesty as he could. Whether she would be content
with that remained to be seen.

“Not as much as you think.”

“If you do that one more time, I’m going to leave and I won’t come back.
I need you to be totally honest with me. My brother has talked in enough
circles to last me a lifetime.
If
we’re to stand a chance, I need straightforward answers.”

“Okay, I could use some coffee. If you don’t mind making some, I’ll
start a fire and we’ll meet in the middle.” Josh knew he was stalling, but it
was the best he could do. He needed a few moments to get his emotions under
control. It was seven years since the last time they were together in their
home, and memories assailed him. She’d also openly admitted that they stood a
chance.

She wanted answers and he would do his best to give them; after all, his
future happiness depended on it.

Her hesitation spoke volumes and Josh turned away to carry out his task
in the hope she would do the same. Aware of her slightest movement, he knew
when she finally left the room. Drawing in a deep breath, he set about lighting
the fire and turning up the thermostat to heat up the house.

When she returned, the glow of the flames cast shadows around the room.
The ambiance was set exactly the way he wanted it. Placing the tray on the
coffee table, Lux removed a mug and handed it to him. Accepting the cup, Josh
brushed his fingers against hers to ensure she was aware of his presence on a
physical level. Yes, they needed to have this conversation, but he also wanted
her to remember they were a man and woman with a chemistry he wasn’t about to
allow her to ignore.

The air of nonchalance he portrayed was a masquerade of his real
feelings, and after tonight, he was done with it. He intended to answer all her
questions, and then she would have a decision to make.

Sitting in their favorite chair that was big enough for two, Josh took a
sip of his coffee, his attention locked on the dancing flames of the fire.

“You have your coffee, now I want answers. No more double talk, do we
have an agreement?”

“Whatever you want is yours.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth.”

“If it’s the truth, tell me what you and my brother are into.”

“Your brother and I are into nothing. My only concern with him is you,”
Josh answered honestly.

“Please don’t do that. I need to understand what’s going on.”

“Do you mean that, Lux?”

“Yes.”

“If you mean it, I’ll tell you. But what happens afterward; if you don’t
like what you hear, do you then judge me and find me wanting?”

“You make me sound so vengeful.”

“No, not vengeful, never that. Just more sanctimonious than you have a
right to be.”

“You call it sanctimonious, I call it moral.”

“Then where do we go from here?” Josh asked watching her carefully.

“How about you answer my question regarding your association with my
brother.”

“Okay, I’ll answer your questions and then you can answer mine, deal?”

Her expression left him in some doubt as to whether she would agree to
his proposal. A slight nod was the only affirmation he received and Josh knew
that would have to be enough.

“My association with your brother isn’t as much as you and some others
think.” Seeing she was about to speak, Josh held up his hand to silence her and
realized too late that the superior gesture of control wouldn’t sit well with
his touchy wife. He was right as he withstood the narrowing of her eyes, but
she remained quiet.

Picking up where he left off, he again began to fill in the details he
knew were troubling her. “As you know, Sam and I met shortly after you and me.
I didn’t particularly like him, for all I know the feeling was mutual. After
our brief first meeting, I didn’t hear from him again until we got together.

Shortly after our second date, he paid me a visit to warn me that if my
intentions weren’t honorable, I’d have to deal with him. Actually, I kinda
liked that he approached me. I don’t have a sister but if I did, my brothers
and I would have done the same thing. At that time, I was a wise guy and I
didn’t care who knew it.”

“You still are!”

The mumbled words were barely audible, but Josh had no trouble hearing
them and smiled. Of course, she was right. On the outside, he hadn’t changed
much while, on the inside, he was poles apart from the man he’d once been.

Now, he had a purpose and that was to reclaim his wife and lay the
foundations of their life together. In that future life, he saw children,
grandchildren, gray hair and possibly rocking chairs. Although currently, he
knew he was way too cool to give that last thought serious consideration. But
time was a great equalizer and he now understood his recent restlessness.

Pulling out of his musing, Josh saw she was giving him a knowing look.
“What?”

“I know that look; what was it, a woman?”

“Actually, it was.”

“Do I know her?” Lux asked sarcastically.

“Not as well as you should, but you will. But as it’s you. You don’t
need to worry because I’m here to teach you all you need to know.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said, Luxandria. Now, would you like me to go on or
should we continue with your snippy questions?”

“You have got to be the most annoying man I have ever met.”

“Well, thank you, my love, I always aim to be unique.”

“That wasn’t a compliment!”

“Maybe not to you, but when you tell me I’m one of a kind, I believe
you.”

At his comment, Lux rolled her eyes and muttered something about
perseverance from egotistical men.

“I’ve got to tell ya, this is your lucky day because you left them all
in Trinidad.”

“Sometimes it’s really difficult speaking to you, do you know that?”

“I’ll respond to your question by saying that I was under the impression
that I should be the one talking while you listened. Yet here we are, you
interrupting me and then accusing me of being difficult.” Josh knew he was
pushing his luck but as far as he was concerned, the sooner this whole fiasco
was at an end, the better. If she was ruffled in the process, so be it.

“Point taken!”

With a nod, he continued. “I didn’t see your brother again until the
encounter after which you asked me not to have anything to do with him–”

“Which you ignored!” Lux interrupted again.

Knowing it was impossible to stop her saying what was on her mind, he
ignored her and continued. “After we’d been married around two months, Sam
contacted me for help. He didn’t want to but I was in a position to help and I
gave it.

An innocent woman’s life was in danger and I helped your brother get her
to safety. I don’t regret what I did. I think you should also know this, Lux,
if faced with the same set of circumstances again, I would do the same thing.”

Rising to her feet with slow deliberation, Lux picked up her coat and
made ready to put it on. Josh was in shock, immediately assailed by memories of
the last time she’d left their home; something within him hardened and he
called her bluff.

“Follow through with that action and this will be the last time you ever
walk out on me.” He didn’t raise his voice, nor did he make any attempt to
leave his seat. He didn’t know where the words came from. He was in no doubt he
wanted his wife back permanently. Yet he was just as certain he’d mess up again
in the future. But if she walked out now although it would devastate him, it
was better now than if he again got used to her being a part of his life again.

It took everything within him to maintain his look of steely promise
that validated his words. At the same time, he was unaware he held the armrest
of the chair so tightly his knuckles were white with tension.

Not a breath escaped him as Lux stood transfixed, her coat dangling from
one arm as she considered what he’d said. When she shrugged her shoulders and
removed her coat, he had his answer, albeit a silent one. She didn’t want to
leave him.

Knowing not to push his tentative victory, he remained quiet as he
tracked her every move. Her seat retaken, Josh looked at his wife and willed
her to look in his direction, she refused and he understood. Lux was a proud
woman and he could only hope she didn’t feel diminished by her acquiescent to
his ultimatum.

“You may not want to hear it but Sam has paid his dues. He’s a hard man,
Lux. That may not be something you understand, but I do… only too well.”

“What did you do for him?”

“Probably not what you’re thinking.”

“Then enlighten me.”

“As I said, I was in a position to help so I did. Trust me, nobody was
hurt during the association I had with your brother. I’m not saying he’s a
saint but then neither am I.”

“You’re doing it too, talking in circles!”

Josh smiled with genuine pleasure, his dimples on display. He didn’t
derive pleasure because the topic of their conversation was humorous, but
because it took seconds for her to bounce back. That was one of the things he’d
always loved about her.

“It didn’t happen overnight but Sam works for an organization that I
can’t tell you about.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t.”

“So where do we go from here?”

Knowing he didn’t have a chance in hell of swaying her, he went for it
anyway. “I suggest that we let Sam deal with his life and we deal with ours.”

“Are you kidding me, Kingdom? You and my brother think I’m going to be
fobbed off with that lame ass story and go sit in a corner and accept it!”

“I would never put Luxandria in a corner,” Josh teased with a smile.

“Cute… but I need something, Josh.” Lux said not reacting to his attempt
at moving the focus of their conversation.