Luck of the Draw (Xanth) (8 page)

“And these are the sars from the chasm,” Mindy said grimly. “Making sar caustic jokes.”

The sars, exposed, dissipated.

They came to Castle Maidragon. A dragon raced around it and bore down on them. It was an impressively fearsome creature, with spreading wings and puffs of fire from its snout. But Bryce, seeing ten seconds ahead, realized it was about to stop without attacking. He held his ground, as did Mindy.

The dragon stood before them, considering. It had bright green scales, a purplish tinge at the end of its wings, and of course a fearsome toothy snout.

“I am Mindy, serving at Caprice Castle,” Mindy said boldly. “This is Bryce, a suitor for Princess Harmony. Princess Dawn sent him to interview King Trent.”

The dragon became a girl with blond hair and brown eyes. “And I am Becka, caretaker of Castle Maidragon, for the three princesses. It is my job to protect this castle from unwarranted intrusions. Do you have better identification?”

“Not exactly,” Mindy said. “But I believe King Trent will recognize me.”

“Wait here.” The girl turned and walked into the castle.

“Castle Maidragon,” Bryce said. “Maintained and guarded by a maid who is also a dragon.”

“Yes. The three princesses have other things to do, so they aren’t here much, but they want it kept in good order.”

“If I married Princess Harmony, is this where we’d live?”

Mindy was startled. “I thought you had no intention.”

“True. It’s an academic question.”

“Yes, probably you would live here. Her sisters have other things in mind.”

Becka emerged. “Magician Trent will be out shortly, with Queen Iris,” she said, impressed. “Princess Dawn must have mirrored him about your visit.”

Mirrored: contacted him via magic mirrors, which could be much like visual telephones. Xanth had facilities similar to those of Mundania, only powered by magic instead of science.

“Thank you,” Mindy said.

“Do I know you?” Becka asked. “You seem somehow familiar.”

“I’m just a maid at Caprice Castle. Before that I was—elsewhere.”

“I guess not,” Becka said. “Well, back to business.” She transformed back into dragon form and ran off.

“A literal dragon girl,” Bryce said, amazed. “I am still being surprised by things.”

“There are surely more surprises in store. But we’ll try to get you safely through them.”

A man and a woman emerged from the castle. He was tall, stately, about thirty-nine, with a commanding presence, wearing a formidable-looking sword. She was a breathtakingly lovely thirty-seven.

“Bryce?” the man said, shaking his hand. “Trent. This is my wife Iris. I understand you’re from Mundania.”

“Yes, recently. I’m still adapting to this remarkable land.”

“I spent twenty years in Mundania. I remember it well. But I was in a different time.”

“You are going to marry Harmony?” the woman asked sternly.

“No!” Bryce said. “I mean, this isn’t my idea. I’m older than I look, and she’s a virtual child.”

“How old are you?”

“Eighty.”

“I am a hundred and fourteen, youthened to thirty-nine. My wife is a hundred and ten, youthened to thirty-seven. So we’re a generation beyond you.”

“I have to believe it,” Bryce said. “Because it happened to me. But I am amazed regardless.”

“Magic does change things,” Trent said. “Let’s get out in the field where we can work on your talent.”

“My talent isn’t much. One eye sees ten seconds ahead.”

“That’s enough,” Iris said. “Stand where you are. Orient on me. Use your talent.”

What was she up to? Bryce stood and watched her.

In half a moment his left eye saw her clothing become translucent, then transparent. He saw right through it to her bra and panties. They were excellently filled. Then she turned around, and he saw her panties from behind.

Fingers snapped near his ear. “Snap out of it,” Trent said. “Your second sight won’t help you that way.”

“I—I must have freaked out.”

“Exactly. She flashed her panties, and you were gone. You have to learn how to protect yourself from that. Otherwise a damsel and a dragon could wipe you out without even a token fight. Do you think dragons associate with damsels out of mere niceness? The damsels earn their keep.”

Obviously true. “How can I protect myself?”

“Put your second sight in second mode. Damp it down halfway, so that the panties lack sufficient detail to freak. Then, forewarned, avoid the view with your right eye.”

Bryce had tried to do something like that before, but with inconsistent success. They worked on it, and Bryce began to gain the control he needed. Then Iris tried him again. This time when her clothing faded, so did his vision, fuzzing the details. When she turned around it was almost as if she were wearing tight pants; they impressed him without freaking him. When it started with his right eye, he simply gazed at her head, no lower, knowing exactly what to avoid.

“But I must say,” he said to her, “you have a most impressive figure for your age. Either age.”

Iris laughed. “It’s all illusion. I was never that sexy in real life.”

“Illusion?” He had been told, but somehow had not really picked up on it. In Mundania illusion usually meant sleight of hand.

“Remember, she is the Sorceress of Illusion,” Trent said. “She can make anything appear. We shall be seeing more of that soon.”

“I am impressed, regardless.”

“Thank you,” Iris said.

“We will start with illusory threats,” Trent said. “When you can navigate those, we’ll try some real ones.”

“I appreciate your effort,” Bryce said. “But I can’t see why I am worth your attention.”

“Two reasons,” Trent said. “Retirement gets dull after a few decades, so we don’t mind helping out when needed. We also value our offspring, and all five great-granddaughters are remarkable girls. Harmony is perhaps the most practical of the triplets, and we hope to help steer her right.”

“The others went wrong?”

“Eve married Pluto, the Demon of Hades. Dawn married a walking skeleton. Oh, he has a good skull on his shoulder bones, and he is Xanth’s most talented musician, but perhaps you can appreciate the social awkwardness.”

Bryce did not want to criticize his hosts. “They seem to have made a compatible family.”

“Indeed, and those crossbreed children are cute. But we had some worried moments.”

“We certainly did,” Iris agreed. “It’s hard to fathom what the latest generation is coming to.”

“Melody took up with the Dastard, a despicable man,” Trent continued. “Fortunately she has converted him to decency, but it was ugly for a while. Rhythm took up with a cyborg, a perfectly decent man/machine, but she was only twelve years old at the time. Her mother, our granddaughter Ivy, nearly freaked out.”

“Understandable,” Bryce agreed. He was finding Trent’s attitudes compatible. “The Adult Conspiracy—if it prevents even bad words from being uttered in the presence of children, it must really be appalled at the notion of a child being romantic with a grown man.” Such as a sixteen-year-old princess with an eighty-year-old man.

“It is. But a willful Sorceress finds loopholes, and Rhythm did. Harmony has at least avoided that sort of thing. There’s been no awkwardness or scandal associated with her. It is part of the reason we assorted elders designated her to be a future figure of importance. But this Demon Contest business threatens to mess her up too.”

“She can’t simply opt out?”

Trent, Iris, and Mindy laughed together. That was answer enough.

“Well, I hope she gets a good man,” Bryce said.

“Remember,” Iris said. “That girl is a Sorceress. It is dangerous ever to underestimate one of those.”

“So I gather. But I believe I was selected mainly to round out a suitable roster, and I will wash out soon enough.”

“Don’t count on it,” Trent said. “We are assuming that you are viable, and that Harmony will be interested in you.”

“We want you to be the best that you can be,” Iris said. “Just in case.”

“I can never be of her generation, regardless of my physical body.”

“Yet if she chooses you,” Iris said, “you must be ready. She has already shown an interest.”

“We met only briefly, via a magic mirror, and she was not pleased.”

Iris looked at Mindy. “What do you think, dear?”

“I think she was not pleased to be put up like a prize for strangers to claim,” Mindy said. “It had nothing to do with Bryce personally.”

“But if she has to choose from several contestants, it is possible she would choose him.”

“It is possible,” Mindy agreed.

Then a flying dragon wheeled in the sky and stroked directly for them. Bryce saw it with his left eye. It wasn’t Becka in dragon mode. This one was larger and uglier, and it was blowing out huge puffs of smoke. It was going to collide with them!

“Get out of the way!” Bryce cried, trying to push them to the side. “We have only ten seconds!”

It wasn’t enough. The four of them fell in a tangle without getting clear of the dragon’s path. The monster crashed into them.

And nothing happened. After a moment Bryce lifted himself off Mindy’s legs where he had landed, and Trent and Iris untangled. There was no huge beast, no smoke.

“But I saw a dragon!” Bryce said.

“It was illusion,” Mindy said.

“Mine,” Iris agreed. “Your protective instinct was commendable, but you did not handle the threat well.”

“An illusion threat,” Bryce said. “You did warn me. I did not make the connection in time.”

“A real dragon would have smoked and eaten you,” Trent said. “That’s why you need to learn how to use your talent.”

“I surely do,” Bryce agreed.

“We will go through this again, in repeat motion,” Trent said. “Look in the sky. Do you see the dragon?”

Bryce looked. “Yes. It is flying well to our right.”

“Use both eyes together.”

“But that will make me giddy! They are ten seconds apart.”

“Try it anyway,” Trent said. “Coordinate the two images.”

Bryce tried. “I see two dragons, one flying ahead of the other.”

“In a straight line?”

“No, curving, as if they are points on a larger circle.”

“Curving toward us,” Trent said.

“Well, yes. If that continues—and of course it will—they will circle around to come here.” Bryce paused, a bulb flashing over his head. “So I can see it coming well before ten seconds!”

“Precisely,” Trent agreed.

“So we should move out of the way now. Avoid it, get under cover.”

They did so. The dragon completed its curve, oriented—and failed to spy them. It shook its head, belched out a disgusted ball of smoke, and flew away without landing. It might be illusion, but it was realistic throughout.

“So I can triangulate, and anticipate a threat in time to handle it,” Bryce said, pleased.

“If you are properly alert,” Trent agreed.

Suddenly a ground dragon burst out of the ground right before them. “Get back!” Bryce cried.

But his ten-second warning was not sufficient. The dragon had emerged too close. Its head shot toward Bryce, jaws gaping.

And the dragon became a giant caterpillar whose jaws were suitable only for chewing plants. It was so close that it still collided with Bryce, knocking him down. It was no illusion!

Bryce scrambled up and away. “What happened?” he asked breathlessly.

“I had to use my talent,” Trent said. “I am a transformer.”

So the Magician had transformed the dragon into a caterpillar. That was impressive. “My talent didn’t help me,” Bryce said.

“That’s why you need to get a sword. That could have made the dragon pause.” Trent patted the scabbard of his own sword.

“I have never used such a thing,” Bryce protested.

“Learn.”

“I guess I’ll have to.”

“We can return to the castle now,” Trent said. “After I restore the dragon.”

“Restore it?” Bryce asked blankly.

“It would not be kind to leave it as a caterpillar.” Trent walked to the huge green insect. “Stay away from humans,” he told it. “Some of us are dangerous.” Then he gestured, and the dragon reappeared. It shook its head, understandably confused, then turned about and dived into the hole it had come from.

They walked back toward Castle Maidragon. “I am impressed,” Bryce said. “Not only with your evident talents, but by the fact that you have taken the trouble to help me like this.”

“We are doing it for Harmony,” Iris said. “If she chooses well, and avoids the kind of scrapes the others have gotten into, she will likely one day be King of Human Xanth.”

Mindy choked. “Harmony?”

“If,” Iris repeated firmly. “She has the potential, as all of them do, but must avoid squandering it as the others have.”

“Oh. Of course,” Mindy agreed.

Bryce wondered why she questioned it. Mindy’s position as a servant girl was unlikely to be affected regardless of who ruled. But he had a question of his own. “Wouldn’t she be queen, not king, being female?”

Trent smiled. “It is Xanth custom to have kings. So when a female rules, she is a king.”

“Oh.” He decided not to question it further.

Outside Castle Maidragon they bid farewell to the Magician and Sorceress, and walked back toward Caprice. “I must say, Princess Dawn has set me up with some interesting contacts. I never thought that ex-kings would give me the time of day.”

“It’s afternoon.”

Which he supposed was about as specific as it needed to be, here in this magic land.

4

P
RINCESS

T
he next day Caprice Castle was settled near a far more elaborate castle. “What is that?” Bryce asked, peering out a turret window.

“That is Castle Roogna,” Mindy said. “The capital of Human Xanth.”

“Human Xanth,” Bryce repeated. “I have heard that term before. Are there other races here?”

“Many. Every species has its royalty or equivalent. So there’s a Dragon King, an Elf King, a Gnome King, a Goblin Chief, an Ant Queen, and so on. We treat them all with due respect. It makes it easier to get along.”

“I should think so,” he agreed. “Animals have more status here than they do in Mundania.”