Lucky Me (21 page)

I made my way upstairs, being careful not to bother a showgirl making out with what looked like a spring roll, and the giant pizza and the Joker who were filming it. I scanned the dance floor for any sign of Milo and that impeccable jacket, but came up short. There was a Minnie Mouse near the DJ table, but Batman didn't seem to be with her. Thankfully, level two of the frat house was slightly less crowded than below, but there were still people everywhere. At least I could actually hear myself think. Everywhere I looked there were people drinking, smoking, laughing, making out or lying unconscious somewhere. At one point I spotted a guy in a very convincing LAPD uniform talking to a girl dressed as a ketchup bottle. I doubted he was a real cop because he was drinking straight from a vodka bottle, ignoring his five or ten dollar plastic cup. On the off chance he was an actual cop, something drastic needed to be done about our legal system.

Aside from the overly sexual college students drinking away their futures and capturing it in a series of selfies, the fraternity brothers definitely had some good equipment going for them. There was a large plasma TV in the living room area upstairs, with an X-Box and a Wii connected to it. Beside the TV, there was a large bookshelf full of DVDs and video games. A big, comfy leather couch faced the TV, and a picture of the Lakers basketball team hung on the wall behind the couch. Heck, I should have just worn that homie outfit of mine, or at least Jack's pimp shoes. I would have fit in much better in that outfit than in the one I was wearing.

“Hey good looking.” A guy dressed up as Fred Flintstone in an extremely revealing toga-like outfit sauntered up to me.

I eyed him up and down and raised an eyebrow. “Never going to happen, Fred,” I told him, crossing my arms protectively across my chest.

“Oh come on,” he said, stumbling a little. Clearly Fred had had one too many bedrock beers. “I'm still looking for a Betty.”

I sighed, unable to believe that I was actually at such a stupid party. Not only had he gotten his spouses mixed up, I was shocked that he thought he actually had a chance with me.

“When hell freezes over,” I said.

Fred stared at me blankly for a few seconds before walking away without a word. I couldn't believe I had lost Milo so quickly, my stupid cat ears were giving me a headache and there was no sign of Dr. D or Ao Jie Kai anywhere. I dialed Milo's number and wasn't surprised when he didn't answer his phone. It meant that he was probably still downstairs where the music was the loudest and couldn't hear the ringing.

I stopped a passing guy wearing nothing but a Rasta hat and a pair of tiny boxer shorts and asked him where the bathroom was. He pointed toward the end of the hallway and danced away. There were multiple white doors upstairs, all closed and looking exactly the same. I now actually needed to pee, and fake Jamaican guy had been no help whatsoever.

Weaving through the crowd, I headed for the doors. I took a lucky guess and opened door number one. Big mistake. Friendly tip, never walk-in on a closed door during a party. It's traumatic enough to give you mild PTSD.

“EW! Sorry!”

I slammed the door shut, slapping a hand over my eyes in embarrassment, even though I doubted they noticed me. On the bright side, I no longer needed to pee. I did, however, want to soak my eyes in bleach. I was just about ready to begin contemplating the purpose of my existence when I felt my phone vibrating.

Oh crap. No Caller ID.

Chapter Fourteen

“Hello?” I covered my free ear with my hand, hoping to block out some of the noise from the party.

“Hey, it's me. Just calling to check up on you.”

I sighed with relief. I had grown so used to Jack's voice; it was such a comfort to hear it among all the madness.

“Jesus, Jack! Why do you have your phone on private?”

“I don't!” he replied. “The battery's dead, so I'm calling from Scarlett's.”

Well gee. He should probably have let a sista know that before scaring her half to death.

“Well, I lost Milo!” I exclaimed in frustration.

“You what?”

“Actually, he kind of lost me. There were these firemen and they were all,
hey Broseph
, and we were all,
who
? But then these girls kind of took him while I was being used as a human sacrifice, and now I don't know where he is!”

Jack was silent for a few seconds, and I checked my phone to see if I had accidently disconnected the call while trying to find a quiet spot to talk. There was no way in hell I was opening another one of those doors. It was like opening up a portal to my very own sexually scarring Narnia.

“I'm not even going to ask,” Jack finally said. “I'm coming to get you, hold tight.”

“No you're not!” I protested, before I could hear the sound of his car keys leave his pocket. “I'm not a five year old! I just need to find him and get out!”

“Well, have you heard from our stalker friends yet?” Jack asked, clearly stifling a yawn. Lucky him, he was probably lying on a couch enjoying himself while I was struggling not to get abducted.

“Not yet,” I told him. “I mean, Dr. D hasn't called, but Ao Jie Kai could be standing behind me for all I know. I have no clue what the guy looks like, and everyone here is in costume!”

A muscly guy wearing a pink tutu over his boxers ran past me. He had a halo attached to a headband on his head and sparkly angel wings strapped to his shirtless back.

“TINKERBILL BITCHES!” he yelled to the room, throwing a handful of glitter into the air.

Thanks to my fantastic luck, the glitter seemed to miss everyone else around
but
me. I shook my head, dusting the glitter from my hair, but I knew I'd be spending hours tomorrow in the shower trying to get it all out.

“What was that?” Jack asked, responding my frustrated groan.

“That was Tinkerbill, the gender confused fairy who just glitter bombed me!” I cried, dusting glitter off my black dress. Great, maybe now DJ Pete could use me as a disco ball. “Are you laughing at me?” I demanded, unable to believe Jack actually found pleasure in my misfortunes.

“Of course I'm laughing at you!” Jack replied, barely able to speak through his laughter. “Damn, I wish I had been there to see that!”

“I hate you,” I told him, pulling the cat ears off my head and throwing them on the ground next to me. “And I hate this stupid party! I thought my high school parties were bad. This is just crazy!”

“Welcome to the real world, Princess,” Jack said, and I could practically hear his grin over the phone.

“Ugh, whatever! I'm going to go find Milo,” I declared with a sigh. “And then I'm going home, taking a shower, scrubbing myself for three days and then going to sleep. I'm so over college.”

“Sounds like a plan. Call me when you leave.”

I promised I would and hung up. I didn't care who I had to shove out of the way to get out. I would do it. No more Miss Nice Catwoman. Leaving my ears on the floor, with glitter all over my dress and my head held almost as high as fake Jamaican guy was, I marched past the bedrooms and toward the stairs. There was a large group of partiers blocking my way, standing right in front of the staircase chanting something I couldn't quite make out. I couldn't tell what they were so excited about, but damn it, I was going to make it through their rowdy crowd come hell or high water.

“Miranda!” Someone called to my right, stopping me by the elbow.

I looked up to find a guy dressed as Elvis Presley staring back at me with wide smile.

“I'm sorry, do I know you?” I asked politely, raising my voice over the chanting.

Elvis pulled off his black sunglasses and raised his plastic cup to his side as if it would help me recognize him if his hands were away from his body.

“It's Ryan!” he finally said, looking at my blank expression. “We met the other day? You asked for AJ?”

“Oh, Ryan!” I exclaimed in realization. “Sorry, I didn't recognize you in that outfit.”

“It's good right?” Ryan replied with a proud grin. He had clearly made use of his plastic cup and five-dollar entry. He kept swaying every time he leaned in to say something. “So, are you having fun?”

“Sure,” I replied with a shrug. I was only just getting the hang of lying through my teeth, so I figured I may as well put the skill to use.

“Is your brother here? You know you don't look anything like him.”

“Uh, yeah. We get that a lot.”

Ryan leaned in close. He reeked of high hopes and cheap alcohol. “We snuck in here,” he said. “We aren't cool enough to get invited. But don't tell anyone!”

He clumsily pressed a finger to his lips. I smiled awkwardly and said, “Don't worry, I won't.”

“Oh, have you met AJ yet?”

I snapped into attention, scanning the room. That meant Ao Jie Kai
had
come to the party. Holy crap. What was I meant to say if I did see him?
Uh hi, can you maybe not make my life a living hell? Thanks so much, love ya, okay bye.
On the other hand, this whole thing could have been a total misunderstanding. After all, all I had seen was a nametag! For all I knew, poor Ao Jie Kai had nothing to do with Dr. D or this whole thing. Or maybe he was standing behind me with a giant potato sack, waiting to kidnap me and throw me into the Pacific Ocean.

“Is he here?” I asked, my heart racing. I raised my voice over group of people yelling drunkenly at each other on the stairs. I had no clue what was happening, but I didn't have time to check. I needed to concentrate on why we came to the party in the first place.

Ryan swayed some more and took a sip from his plastic cup. “You know, he wasn't going to come,” he told me in a hushed voice, as if he were letting me in on some well-protected secret. “He didn't even remember you!”

“Imagine that!” I said sarcastically, patience growing thin. “Any idea where he is?”

Ryan peered around the room and gave it a quick scan, but I doubted he even knew what he was looking for. It was clear he was drunk off his face, and therefore no help whatsoever. He was mumbling something to himself and I rolled my eyes, holding onto his arm tightly so that he wouldn't fall over. The chanting and yells grew into large cheers and I looked at the group, which seemed to have expanded since I last checked. Whatever was going on was obviously happening in the center of the messy circle, conveniently blocked so I couldn't see.

“What's going on over there, anyway?” I asked Ryan.

“They're beating some poor kid up, I guess.” Ryan replied with a shrug. “They do it all the time.”

Great. Just what we needed to top off a perfect night. Drunk college boys kicking the crap out of each other. I had seen fights happen all the time at the parties I had gone to. Rich boys trying to prove they were hotter, wealthier and generally better than the other. Brendan had gotten into a few himself, but he tried to avoid getting hit in the face as much as he could, given his dreams of becoming an actor. Good thing he did, or else Cowboy Stan would've looked a whole lot different.

When Ryan proved to be completely useless, I dragged him over to the crowd, standing on my toes to see what was happening in the middle of the noise. There were two guys standing on the stairs. I recognized one of them as one of the brunette firemen who had been getting extra frisky with me before, but the other guy was dressed in some kind of martial arts uniform, with a black belt tied around his waist. Unfortunately that black belt didn't actually mean he was actually qualified in any sense, because from where I was standing, he was getting the bejeezus beat out of him.

“Who is that!” I yelled to Ryan, who was standing beside me, swaying on his tiptoes.

For a split second, the karate kid looked familiar, but I didn't have enough time to fully analyze his face. The brunette fireman pushed the karate kid against the stairs railing and I cringed as he made contact with it.

“I think that's . . .” Ryan began, jumping up to see past the large group of people blocking our view.

“Ryan, who is that?” I repeated, holding onto the person in front of me as a giant banana roughly pushed past. I clasped my eyes shut for a few seconds as someone else pulled his arm back, ready to punch the Asian guy.

At this point, even the fake LAPD cop would do. But absolutely
no one
was helping, and Milo was nowhere in sight. No doubt, some idiot was filming the fight so that the whole world would be able to witness it within minutes online. Jeez, what was the point of taking a hot cop along with me to an out-of-control party when he wasn't even going to be around when intense stuff went down?

“I think that's AJ!” Ryan yelled to me, suddenly alert.

I don't know who's luck was worse, mine or Ao Jie Kai's. The first time we would come in contact with each other in person would involve him being beaten up by a jerk, fighting more than just fire, and I couldn't do anything to help him.

“Welcome to K-A-P!” The fireman yelled with a final shove, and Ao Jie Kai grabbed onto the stair railing to steady himself. “Enjoy the party, bitch!”

The fireman gave a triumphant smile to his cheering fans before making his way down the stairs, no doubt to gloat to those who had missed out on the fight.

“See you ‘round Miranda!” Ryan called out behind him as he pushed his way through the sea of people who were starting to disperse now that the evening's entertainment had ended.

Tinkerbill came up behind me, grabbing me by the waist. He began thrusting his pelvis against me, shouting out lyrics to “Baby” by Justin Bieber. I spun around and pushed him off roughly, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Beat it, buddy,” I told him, giving him my best
don't mess with me
look. “Unless you want your Tinkerballs to suffer.”

He thought about it for a beat before nodding. “Sorry, sir,” he said, skipping off.

I turned back to the stairs, just in time to see Ryan and Ao Jie Kai disappear into the bottom level of the house.

“Wait!” I called after them, but they didn't hear me.

I ran down the stairs, wincing as my heels cut into my feet and stopped right where Ao Jie Kai had been beaten minutes before. An iPhone was lying on the step next to my foot, and I bent over to pick it up. It was almost as fancy as mine, which was surprising for a waiter who worked at a rundown sketchy restaurant. I pushed the home button and saw a picture Ao Jie Kai and an attractive girl, kissing him on the cheek.

“Gia!”

Milo, minus the mask, was standing on the bottom step with a concerned look on his face.

“Oh my gosh!” I sighed. “There you are.”

He ran up to the middle of the staircase, resting his hands on my shoulders. “Are you okay?” he asked, his eyes blazing into mine with concern.

“I'm fine! But there was—”

Milo nodded sharply and said, “Come on. We have to go.” He paused, glancing at my hair. I looked at him self-consciously.

“Tinkerbill kind of got excited with his glitter,” I explained, jerking a thumb toward the male fairy.

Milo looked where I was pointing, where Tinkerbill was hitting on a wall, by the looks of it.

“Tinker
bill
?” Milo repeated, still watching him flirt with no one at all.

I nodded. “We better get out of here before he starts making out with the furniture.”

Milo pulled his gaze away from Tinkerbill and repositioned it back on me. “Good idea. Hold on a sec.”

Milo leaned over the railing of the stairs, scanning the dance floor. I took that opportunity to store Ao Jie Kai's phone out of sight before anyone came looking for it. Unfortunately, my options were pretty limited. I could leave the phone on the floor, where someone would probably steal or break it, keep the phone in my hands and risk running into Ao Jie Kai, which would be slightly awkward, or I could put the phone in my clutch, but it would take at least a minute and put me at risk of being dragged back onto the dance floor by the frisky firemen. Seeing as all of my choices sucked, I decided to do the mature thing and shove the phone into my bra.

I heard Milo let out a frustrated groan as he clearly spotted something in the crowd below. He turned to face me, grabbing my hand, now free of the iPhone. His fingers gripped mine tightly, setting my skin on fire. There was a slight chance my nerves were in overdrive after witnessing AJ get kicked around, and Milo touching me wasn't helping.

“Milo, the fight . . .” I said, but it wasn't loud enough to hear over the music.

Milo and I somehow made our way past the raging partygoers, practically running out of the door and past the bored frat boy dealing with entry fees.

“Why are we rushing?” I asked, trying not to sound breathless.

I
needed
to start working out a little. Not just parading around in tight pants to impress Jack. Milo stopped a little down the road and I caught my breath, adjusting my dress from the hem.

“Sorry,” he said. “The firemen wanted to start doing body shots and I was scared they would find us.”

“Oh. Well that's . . .” I trailed off. Milo doing body shots off me or anyone else wasn't something my brain could handle.

Milo nodded and gave a light laugh, taking in a deep breath as if he had come into contact with fresh air after living underground for the past ten years. We began walking slowly toward the car, and I turned to look at him.