Lulu's Loves (19 page)

“I mean it, Lulu. I can’t think about anything but you.” His look was pleading and it melted my heart.

“It’s just…” I paused.

Step lightly, this is big, Lulu.

“It’s just so soon.”

“I can wait for you to warm up to us. I know it’s soon, but I’ve never felt you before.”

“Yes, you did, the other night,” I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. He was so serious.

“I mean the you that I can’t shake away. The feel of that you, Lulu, I can wait,” he said once more. “I need to rinse off, that was a work out. Join me?”

The sex continued in the shower. Finally, exhausted, we crawled back in bed and he held me.

For the next three months Robbie courted me; he courted my dad too. We made love, and I fell in love. I tried not to. Not because he wasn’t a good guy, because I was scared.

We were at an alehouse, tasting local brews with some friends, but Robbie seemed to be somewhere else in his thoughts. I waited until we were driving home to inquire.

“What’s on your mind?” I reached over, toying with the sandy-blond hair that lay close to his collar. “You seem preoccupied this evening.”

He turned to look at me. “You, Lulu. I’ve been thinking about this for a week or so.” His eyes met mine with a sweet gaze, and then he turned back to the road ahead.

“Move in with me.”

“What?” I was shocked.

“You spend half the week at my place. It makes sense. Move in with me.”

“That’s a commitment–a big one,” I said with a sigh, fidgeting with the strap of my purse.

“You love me, right?” he asked.

“I do love you.”

“Then move in with me and we’ll plan the road ahead. I love you, Lulu.”

I didn’t expect this. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I do love him, but this is big. I’m not sure I’m ready for all that this means. Maybe this ‘road ahead’ is just a stepping-stone. I need to know there’s a future. I’m not sure. My mind is racing; my heart is slamming against my chest.

“Hello?” Robbie said, sounding hurt.

“I’m just, well…I just wasn’t expecting this and I’m taken aback.”

“Because you didn’t think we had a future, only a now?” he asked, seriously.

“I hoped for a future,” I said, honestly. “You just took me by surprise tonight, that’s all.”

“I hope to surprise you every day, Lulu. So?”

“Yes. I’ll move in with you, because I love you.”

“Not just because we are awesome in bed?”

“Well, that too,” I laughed. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes, Lulu. Yes.”

And so it began. Another step in my journey…

January 2007

My dad warmed up to the idea, but it took him some time. I wasn’t sure he was happy about it. I knew that first it was because I was leaving him.

“Lulu, this old house it going to be empty without you.”

“I’ll be twenty minutes away. You know I’ll be back here so often that you won’t even miss me.” I smiled, caressing his hand as he fought back tears. I blinked quickly to hold mine at bay.

“Why aren’t you getting married?”

That was the question that gutted me. Because that’s not what he asked for, but mostly, because I’m not sure he’s the one. I want him to be, but I’m not sure.

“I’m not sure I know the answer to that,” I replied, because I didn’t.

Making Robbie’s house
ours
was a chore. I didn’t bring a lot because I didn’t have a lot. I’d lived at 2688 Monroe Street my entire life. I didn’t have dishes or pots and pans. I didn’t have furniture. I was moving in to Robbie’s house.

“Lulu, it’ll be fine. We’ll make it our home,” he told me, when he noticed me wandering around one morning only seeing his things.

“I know.”

“You aren’t second guessing this, are you?” He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me, as though to reassure me.

“No, not at all. I just realized that I’m thirty years old and I have never not lived with my dad. It’ll be an adjustment, that’s all.”

Is that really my only hesitation? I can’t be sure.

We worked together to make it our home. New dining room furniture and throw pillows for the living room changed things. New linens and bedding changed the look of the master bedroom and bathroom, and it started to
feel
more like ours, not his.

We were a couple. I loved him. I was in love with him, and I didn’t question his feelings for me.

March 2007

Five months after we met, we made a trip to Key West over spring break for a week with some friends. Our days were spent enjoying the sun and the sights; the nights were filled with partying and drinking too much. On the third morning when I woke up, Robbie was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow watching me.

“Hey, pretty girl.” He leaned to kiss me.

“Good morning,” I replied pulling him closer. “Oooh, we had a wild night.”

“Yes, we did,” he chuckled and held me tight. “Lulu, I’ve been thinking about something.”

The look on his face, the wide-eyed smile, left me feeling happy. I drew him to me for another kiss. “What’s that?”

“I couldn’t sleep, so while you were sleeping I Googled some stuff,” he replied.

He had my attention. “What were you looking for?”

“What it takes to get married here.” His smile lit up the entire room.

“Married?” I asked.

“Lulu. Louisa Nicole Welk.” He leaned close, pressing his lips to mine. “Will you marry me? I’m ready to make us official. I’m ready for you to be my wife. Are you ready?”

I was afraid if I left any room for question, both for him and myself, that I’d run or something.

“Yes,” I whispered. “I’m ready.”

I prayed that I was.

Two days later, we were standing on the beach in Key West at sunset committing our lives to each other. When I called my dad to tell him, he flew down to give me away. It was a lovely evening, the 27
th
of March. I’d shopped the day before and found an off-white dress that I loved. It was form fitting and the back was lace. I carried bright pink, yellow, and fuchsia orchids. I walked barefoot with my dad to Robbie.

He waited in khaki pants and a white shirt. His smile when he saw me warmed my heart. I knew then, that I was doing the right thing.

He took the hand my dad offered and whispered, “I love you, Lulu.”

With the sun as our background, we recited vows that Robbie ended by saying the most beautiful words.

“Lulu, I’ve seen this quote that says, ‘Paint the sky, and make it yours.’ The sun painted the most beautiful colors across the sky this evening as we said our vows. I want to make you mine.”

I felt my heart swell and tears run down my cheeks. “I love you, Robert David Muir.”

The event was followed by lots of liquor, laughter, and love.

“Louisa,” my dad said, and I saw him well up with tears. “I prayed this day would come, but now that it’s here I am happy for you, sad for myself.”

Robbie joined us and my dad turned to him. “I told you the first day I met you that this beautiful woman is my heart and soul. You better take care of her.”

“I plan to,” Robbie said, before Dad finished. “She’s my heart and soul, too.”

I woke in his arms in the middle of the night, feeling a bit hung over. I moved and Robbie scooted closer. “Hello, wife.”

“Hello, husband.”

“Lulu, you’ve made me happier than I could ever imagine. I promise you’ll feel the same way, every day, for the rest of our lives.”

October 2007

Happiness–bliss actually-lasted exactly six months. It had been one year since Robbie came into my life. He came in late from work and a flowery scent that wasn’t mine, wafted through the room. He came to kiss me. As he did, the smell grew stronger and I pushed him away.

“What in the hell?” he asked.

“What’s that smell?” I barked.

“Lulu, it’s not what you think at all.”