Lured In (Dark Paradise, #1) (12 page)

“What the hell happened here, Abi? Did he hurt you?” she asked with a frown and look of concern.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Why did Zach call me, Abi?”

“The past.”

“The past?”

“It came to surface at the worst time possible, and I was too embarrassed to face him and be alone with him. I humiliated myself today, Carmen,” I said with tears falling from my eyes.

Carmen wiped my eyes as I explained everything to her, from the moment she’d left us to the moment she came back threatening to gut Zach. When I finished, Carmen remained silent.

After a pause, she sighed and gave a slight smile. “Good for you, Abi. I’m happy you finally decided to do something about those cobwebs.” She giggled, which made me giggle. “You’ve kept yourself in the dark for so long; you need someone like Zach to lead you to the light. This is a healing process—you are going to freak out every now and then. He’s made you so happy already. I heard it in your voice when you called earlier. He even has you laughing again—I heard it through the phone before he took the phone and told me you were…um…busy.”

I looked at Carmen, wanting to say something, but Matt and Zach came out onto the terrace. Zach looked at me and then at Carmen.

“Am I safe here? Or do you still want my head mounted in your game room?” Zach said humorously to Carmen with a strained smile.

“You and your guts are safe, for now,” she said, smiling. “Thank you, Zach. You know, for staying and making sure she was fine.”

Zach nodded, turned quickly on his heels, and left. He didn’t say good-bye, later, or anything. My heart sunk to the soles of my feet. I knew that I had scared him off. Carmen looked at me and immediately saw the emotion building up. Matt sat down beside Carmen and fixed his gaze on me.

“Abi, are you seeing anyone about what happened to you all those years ago?” Matt asked with great concern.

His words only confirmed that Zach had told Matt what had happened. I put my face in my hands and got up, crying. I didn’t think it was possible to feel more embarrassed.

“Abi, I don’t mean to upset you,” Matt said, racing behind me.

“I’m embarrassed about what happened. I’ve humiliated myself. And to answer your question, no. I don’t see anyone. I don’t, and I can’t trust another psychiatrist after…after what Dr. Epps did to me. And the ones I did talk to didn’t listen to me; they don’t believe Dr. Epps, their colleague, would ever do such a thing. I’m just another confused, obsessed little girl with fantasies.

“Abi, you can’t haul around all of that hurt and pain,” Matt said.

“I know, Matt,” I said. Carmen wrapped her arm around me. “You didn’t tell him what happened to me, did you?”

“No, that’s your secret—your business to share with him. I think you should. It would be good for you to start healing. But he’s smart enough to figure it out.”

“I really like him. And now it’s a strong possibility that he doesn’t ever want to be anywhere near me to relive what just happened.”

“Zach is a really good guy, Abi,” Matt said.

We talked for about another half hour, and I gave Matt a tour of my home. Matt and Carmen said their good-byes and left. I grabbed my cell to call Zach to apologize to him and explain why I’d reacted the way I had. Remembering the look on his face when he left my home, I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try anyway.

He didn’t answer his phone. I left him a message. “Um…hi, Zach. It’s me, Ab—Abigail. I was…um…hoping you would answer. I wanted to see if we could talk in person so that I could explain and apologize. I am very sorry about what happened. I really hope to talk to or see you soon. OK. Bye.” I ended the call and went to take another bath.

I woke up Sunday morning around 11:15 a.m. I checked my cell phone to see if Zach had called or texted, but he hadn’t. I texted a message asking him to call or stop by so that we could have a conversation about what had happened. I didn’t have much of an appetite, so I ate a container of creamy strawberry yogurt for breakfast. I did some laundry and cleaned the house to distract myself. My mom called me at 1:17 p.m. to remind me that dinner would be at my dad’s at 4:00 p.m. I talked to my mom briefly about other things but avoided a conversation about what happened the previous day. My mom sensed I was feeling down, and I assured her that it was due to the constant thought of how to handle the president position at First Choice Health and Wellness.

Carmen and Matt called to check in on me, and I lied, telling them that I was fine. I was still feeling really down about the previous day; Zach ignoring me; and how I would deal with seeing or hearing from him, if that was ever to happen. But as usual, I brushed all of that shit aside, showered, and got dressed to go to my dad’s for dinner.

I arrived at my dad’s place twenty minutes early. My mom, stepdad, and my little sister, Lilly, were already there. My mom had had Lilly when I was seventeen. She and Gabi were my heart. I kissed her and gave her a hug.

“Where’s Gabi?” I asked my mom.

“Gabe hasn’t arrived with her yet.”

I looked quizzically at my mom, and she pointed to my dad and stepmom, Elizabeth, and said, “They invited him for dinner.”

Of course, I was livid. I might have even cursed them. But, ultimately, it was their decision to invite him, and I had to deal with it.

The doorbell rang. It was Gabi and Gabe. I swooped Gabi off her feet and hugged her tightly, kissing her and telling her how much I had missed her. I stared up at Gabe when Gabi wasn’t looking, telling him to get the fuck out with my eyes. I wasn’t about to welcome him, even if my family had. I rolled my eyes fiercely and turned my gaze from him. My dad came over, grabbing my right shoulder with his left hand and inviting Gabe in with his right hand.

“Gabriel, come on in, son. Can I offer you a brandy or something?”

“I’ll take a double of that, sir,” Gabe said, staring at me, looking me up and down.

“Are you sure you don’t want to triple that?” my stepdad asked, extending his right hand to Gabe as well.

My mom and stepmom got up to extend their pleasantries. They hugged and kissed Gabe on the cheek and told him that it was great seeing him again. I stood there watching them treat this bastard as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t broken my heart a few days before our wedding date.

How can my dad be so accepting of this man who hurt his little girl? How can he not be angry with him and want to rip his head off? And my mom—she still calls him her son-in-law. Has she gone mad?

I had asked myself these same questions over and over for the past three and a half years, and I could only come up with one answer. My family really didn’t care much for me. They tolerated me, probably because I was good for business. Hell, they’d even told me several times that I had embarrassed the hell out of them, even after the sacrifices they’d made for me.

Everyone had started showing up with their families. My stepsister, Lauren, noticed Gabe, and after she said hello to him, she came over to me. Lauren was my stepdad’s daughter from his previous marriage. She hated the hell out of me for exposing her little brother, Connor, for what he was, but she endured me for “family’s sake.”

“Hey, Abi. How are you?” Lauren asked.

“I’ve had better days. You?”

“I’m great. I see Gabe is here. Are you two back together?”

“Hell, no. My dad and Liz invited him. You know I can’t stand that asshole.”

“Well, he is definitely missing you. He must’ve looked over at you a thousand times already,” she said, motioning her head in his direction.

I looked over and caught him looking at me. He immediately turned back to his conversation with the guys.

“He must be looking at you, Lauren,” I said.

Melissa, Liz’s daughter from a previous marriage, came over and asked the same question about Gabe and I getting back together. Melissa and I had a great relationship. Melissa was of average height and had a slender build and long black hair. She had green eyes and porcelain skin.

“Damn, Abi. Gabe can’t keep his eyes off you. You two must’ve hooked up and you forgot to mention that to me.”

“Holy shit, Lis,” Lauren said. “I just told her I thought the two of them were back together. He was watching her like a hawk, and she didn’t believe me.”

I rolled my eyes at both of them and walked away into the kitchen to escape everyone, just for a second.

My stepmom, Elizabeth, followed me into the kitchen. She and Melissa looked just alike. The only difference was that Liz was taller and thinner.

“Tell me what’s bothering you, Abi,” Liz said.

“I don’t know. Scared, maybe.”

“Scared of what, Abi? And don’t tell me it’s the position because you and I both know that you are very well qualified for it. Just look at how you turned around your dad and Richard’s practice in less than a year. So it’s something else that is bothering you.”

I was damned sure that I was not going to tell her that I had fucked the new CEO after knowing him for only a hot second. Or that during one of our steamy intimate moments I’d had a meltdown and flashed back to one of the rapes I had endured.

“Let’s say that you are right and there is something more than just the position. Would you believe me if I told you?” I asked Liz with a puzzled look.

“Abi, have I not always been here for you? And how many times have I told you that you can tell me anything?”

“I’ve told you and everyone else several times what is wrong with me, why I am the way I am, but none of you believe me. No one listened. Or listens. So it would be pointless for me to stand here and spill to you.” I decided to change the subject and asked, “Could I help you take the food to the table?”

She smiled. “No. I can manage, honey. By the way, I noticed Gabe’s been checking you out since getting here. You know all it takes is a little spark to start a fire.”

“He’s where he wanted to be—with Karen. There’s no spark here. I am very happy without him.” I smiled and left.

Everyone was seated at the table, and my dad asked Lauren to bless the food and give thanks.

My dad finished with a toast: “To Abi, my sweet little girl, who was promoted to president of First Choice Health and Wellness, Inc. To Abi!”

“To Abi!” Everyone toasted and clinked their glasses.

Congratulations flowed and everyone told me how happy they were for me. Lauren wanted to know how I got the position and who would be promoted to my old position as director of business and administration management.

“That position has been eliminated altogether,” my stepdad answered.

“Hah. I wonder whose decision it was to eliminate that position. So now no one else can climb the corporate ladder?” Lauren looked at me, implying that it had been my decision.

I ignored her and kept eating. Richard told her that it was the owners’ decision to get rid of that position to save money.

“I thought that position was essential to the company’s viability,” Lauren blurted out, still fuming, not knowing that I’d made arrangements for her promotion as well.

“It was before we merged. But now that we’ve merged, there’s no need for that position when Abi can continue to manage that as president,” my dad explained to Lauren, who refused to acknowledge the rationale behind the decision.

“Well, Abi, I guess there is one benefit of having that position. You know what it is?” Lauren asked with what I thought was a genuine smile.

“What’s that, Lauren?” I replied, hoping that she would say something nice.

“Now you can concentrate on something constructive instead of making up those sick rape fantasies you always saying happened to you…trying to convince people that you were raped.”

I gasped and closed my eyes in an attempt to calm down. Before I could call her a selfish, jealous bitch, I got up, lunged across the corner of the table, and punched all holy fuck out of her. I tried to punch her again, but Derek, Lauren’s husband, pulled me away from her. My dad and Gabe grabbed me and pulled me into a corner in an attempt to mollify my anger. All of the younger kids had run into the dining room to see what all the commotion was about, and my mom and Liz herded them back into the kids’ dining room and closed the door behind them.

“You lying, uneducated, crazy bitch. I hate you, Abigail. You’re a worthless bitch.” Lauren yelled from beneath the confines of her husband’s and father’s grips.

“Abigail, what the hell is your problem? Why did you attack your sister like that?” my mother yelled.

“That fucking psycho, rape-fantasy-living bitch is not my sister,” Lauren interjected.

“Abi, I am here. Tell me what’s eating at you. Help me understand what you’re feeling,” my mother requested, cradling my face in her hands.

“None of you will ever understand how I feel,” I yelled, talking to everyone. With tears in my eyes, I continued. “You and the rest of this family never believed me. You never listened. You don’t listen. That’s what’s eating at me. That’s what I am feeling. Can you understand that?” I cried out. I could no longer hold anymore of that shit inside.

My mom, apparently deciding to antagonize me, said, “You need to go see someone who can prescribe you something stronger.”