Authors: Stefan Petrucha
MC9010025
: Maybe
Kylenevers
: Ugh. Another maybe. First the kiss. Now this. U R going 2 b tough, I can tell.
MC9010025
: LOL. So, when do u actually leave for Stanford?
Kylenevers
: Mon morning. Tomorrow family stuff and packing. Back Fri.
MC9010025
: Will u b online?
Kylenevers
: I'm always online. LOL
Tuesday afternoon in the cafeteria, while Kyle was somewhere in California adding another city to the long list of those he'd visited, Mandy listened while Drew raved about her new boyfriend. Everything was “Jacob said,” and “Jacob did,” and “Jacob thinks.” Laurel was there too, occasionally making faces at Mandy, often shaking her head in wonder. But, for Drew's benefit, both kept their smiles stretched wide. Neither of them had seen their friend this happy, ever.
“He's already talking about the prom,” Drew said, her cheeks blossoming with blush for the twentieth time since lunch period started. “The prom! God, do you know what that means?”
“I think it's a big dance at the end of the school year,” Laurel said.
“Ha, ha,” said Drew, shaking her head in annoyance.
Mandy was suddenly struck with a very odd and kind of funny image. She pictured herself at the prom, amid glittering decorations and flashing lights, dancing with her computer screen. Lines of text rolled over it while a slow number gave a rhythm for her feet. She paused and introduced the computer to her friends.
This is my date, Kyle. Kyle this isâ¦
“Dale,” Laurel whispered.
“What?” Mandy asked, already scoping the cafeteria for him. “Where?”
“At the cola vend.”
Mandy looked across the room over the heads of dozens of kids eating their lunches and found the row of vending machines and Dale sliding a dollar into the one on the far left. Seeing him, even so far away, sent tingles through her body.
“Has he called?” Drew asked.
“No,” Mandy said. “Why would he call?”
“I don't know. You said he apologized and stuff. I thought he might've called.”
Drew was a terrible liar. Fear of getting caught always covered her face like a stain when she tried. She was lying now.
“Drew,” Mandy said, her voice low with warning. “What do you know?”
“I don't know anything,” Drew replied, looking down at her lunch. She made to grab for a carrot stick, then tried for a cube of white cheese. Finally, she grabbed her diet soda and shrugged. “Don't know what you're talking about.”
“Did you talk to Dale?” Mandy asked, a tremor of excitement running through her.
“I promised not to say anything,” Drew said into the mouth of her soda.
“Promises to the opposite sex don't count,” Laurel said. “It's like making a promise to your dog. Really. That's the first rule of dating. Now, spill.”
“He called last night,” Drew said, looking sheepishly at Mandy. “He wanted to know if you said anything about Saturday.”
Mandy was suddenly filled with dread, remembering how she'd downloaded everything she felt to Drew that night on the phone. “What did you say?” Mandy asked, now furious with her friend.
“Nothing,” Drew said, cowering behind her soda can.
“Oh? Let's move on to the torture phase,” Laurel said. In a flash she yanked her cell phone from the
pocket of her slacks. “I have a certain Jacob Lurie's digits. What do you imagine Mandy and I could tell him?”
Wide-eyed, Drew gasped. “You can't.”
“I see no fundamental difference in each situation,” Laurel replied, rocking the cell phone in her hand casually. “Now, let's start at the beginning. We'll decide your punishment later.”
Drew spilled. Her voice trembled and cracked as she told them Dale asked if Mandy said anything about getting back together, and “I totally told him you didn't.” He'd asked if Mandy still thought he was a jerk, and “I said, you really appreciated his apology and thought it was a cool thing for him to do.” And he asked if Drew thought he should try calling or if that would just piss Mandy off, and “I told him he should call.”
“And?” Mandy asked.
“That's it,” Drew said. “I swear. He just told me how bad he's felt since that night and what a screw-up he is and that he didn't deserve you and stuff.”
“He said that?”
“God, yes. Like fifty billion times.”
“What else?” Laurel asked, jabbing the cell
phone at Drew, displaying it like a hand grenade. “Did you mention a certain boy on the Internet?”
“No! God, I'm not stupid.”
“Debatable,” Laurel said.
“Are you sure you didn't say anything about Kyle?” Mandy needed to know.
“Yes. I swear.”
She was telling the truth. A wave of relief washed over Mandy as she slumped back in her chair. It wasn't so bad, not nearly as bad as it could have been.
“I'm sorry,” Drew said. “I really am. I just thought you guys made such a great couple and everything, and Jacob and I are so happy, I want you to be happy too.”
“I can be happy without a boyfriend,” Mandy told her.
“Amen,” Laurel said.
“How?” Drew asked.
Â
After school, Mandy waited out front for Laurel. She stood by the school sign, leaning against the concrete post it hung on, wondering what was taking her friend so long. She decided to call and pulled her cell phone from her jacket. She looked at the device with a bit of fear. What if she tried to
call Laurel and got a wrong number again? The same wrong number? The memory of crumpling paper static and that rasping voice unnerved her, and she thought about putting the phone away. But she couldn't let one bizarre accident, probably a crossed signal, rule her life. It was just a coincidence she happened to be in front of the library, alone and in the dark, when the call went through.
CUL8R
She hit Laurel's number on the speed dial and waited, heart pounding.
“I know,” Laurel said instead of
hello
. “Still waiting for Mrs. Jacob Lurie to get out of the bathroom. She's probably slappin' on a new pad or something.”
“Leave her,” Mandy suggested.
“Would if I could. She's got my bio book. Don't ask. Long story. I'll be right out.”
“Okay.”
A horn beeped behind her, and Mandy turned to see Dale sitting in his Audi. He lifted a hand in a half wave.
“Need a ride?”
Mandy smiled and shook her head. “I'm waiting for Laurel.”
“Cool,” he said. Then he looked into the
rearview mirror, checked the road over his shoulder, and unbuckled his seat belt. A minute later, he was jogging over the grass toward her.
“What are you doing?” Mandy asked through a smile of confusion.
“I was gonna call,” he said. “I mean, I want to call. Is it okay if I call you? Like around seven or something?”
He looked so nervous, so cute. Mandy had to laugh. “Yeah. That'd be nice.”
“Cool,” Dale said. Then he repeated, “Cool,” before turning and jogging back to his car.
“What did I just see?” Laurel asked a moment later, walking up to her at the sign.
“Nothing,” Mandy said.
“Didn't look like nothing to me.”
Â
As seven o'clock approached, Mandy sat in her room. To her surprise, Kyle's name appeared on her buddy list.
You're supposed to be in California,
she thought before realizing he probably was.
Everybody had laptops these days, and he said he was always online. She couldn't imagine going to someplace new like that and sitting in front of
the computer. It was probably warm there. She'd want to walk around and see things. See everything. What a total waste to travel halfway across the country just to sit in a room and look at the same screen you could see at home.
Whatever,
she thought.
She turned on her away message and leaned back in the chair, looking at the cell phone sitting on her desk. It was nearly seven, and she needed to be ready for Dale's call. Things like this demanded preparation.
She decided not to pick up on the first ring. That would be lame. She probably wouldn't pick up on the second ring either. In fact, she might let it go to voice mail and then call him back. But that was lame, too.
When the phone trilled, she decided to wait for the third ring.
“Hey,” she said.
“Hey. How's it going?”
“Good. Just doing some homework.”
“Tell me about it,” Dale said. “I've got a bunch of pages to read for Stahlman tomorrow.”
Then, there was a long silence. Mandy's nerves jangled, and she just couldn't sit there any longer.
So she stood up and started pacing, trying to figure out something to say.
“Laurel still there?” Dale asked.
“No, we just walked home together. She didn't come over.”
“Oh,” he said. “You're kind of quiet.”
“Don't really know what to say.”
“Me either,” Dale admitted. “It's weird, right?”
“Yeah, kind of,” Mandy said, completing a lap. She noticed someone had instant messaged her, even though her away message was on.
Kyle,
she thought. It had to be him.
She stared at the screen, wondering if she should kill the away message. With the awkward silences between her and Dale, she almost wanted to. Maybe Kyle had news about college, or wanted to talk about their date Saturday night. Of course, it might not be him at all. Drew and Laurel IMed all the time. Mandy returned to the chair and reached for the mouse, pausing when Dale finally spoke.
“It's like all of this stuff is running through my head, but I don't know what to say first. We always used to have such great conversations, and now, I can't even get a sentence out, and it's just too weird. You know what I mean? I've got a bunch of
stuff in my head, but it's all stupid, and all I want is for things to be the way they were.”
Mandy bit down on her lower lip. She pulled her hand away from the mouse.
“So do I,” she said.
Mimi's was the finest restaurant in Elmwood. Mandy's parents celebrated anniversaries at Mimi's and everyone else spoke about it with great reverence, but Mandy had never dined there before, never seen the romantic red walls and the lily-shaped crystal light sconces. The scarlet walls and carpet ate much of the light cast by these fixtures and the tiny flickering tabletop candles. Following Dale through the elegant room, she felt under-dressed. Oh, her black dress was beautiful and it had cost quite a bit, but she still didn't think it appropriate for the amazing restaurant. She couldn't imagine anything she owned being appropriate for this place.
After school the day before, she and Dale had
gone to Corey's for coffee and chatted, mending some of the damage that had been done, and he'd suggested they go out for a nice dinner. Speaking to him on the phone Tuesday night had been awkward, even after they'd both said how much they missed each other. But yesterday at Corey's had been better, and tonight looked like it was going to be simply incredible.
Dale looked stunning in his gray suit and blue silk shirt.
Just like a movie star
, Mandy thought, unable to manage the jitters of excitement in her stomach. She felt certain that everyone was staring at her. Additionally, she was afraid she might trip and fall on her face or bump into something. Everything was just so perfect.
Once the maître d' seated them, Dale unfolded his napkin and dropped it into his lap. “Is this okay?” he asked.
“Okay?” Mandy asked. “It's wonderful.”
“Cool,” Dale said. “I mean, we never came here before, and I thought you might like it.”
“I love it. But how did you get a reservation? Isn't it booked through the next millennium?”
“Just weekends,” he said. “School nights aren't all that hard to book.”
“You come here a lot?” Mandy asked.
And if so, why is this the first time you're bringing me here?
“My dad likes the trout,” Dale said. “We come out here every few weeks, so they kind of know me. I don't mention it much, because people already think I'm a spoiled ass.” He laughed. “Anyway, if you like shrimp, the scampi is good. I guess everything is good. Just get what you want. Next time it's back to burgers and fries.”
“The shrimp sounds nice,” Mandy said, gazing over the table at Dale. He looked even more handsome in the flickering candlelight, more mature somehow.
“You look really beautiful,” he told her. He reached over the table and took her hand. “Really,” he said.
“Thank you.”
When the waiter arrived to take their orders, he called Dale, “Master Dale,” which made him scowl and blush. Mandy giggled, but got it under control quickly, seeing how self-conscious Dale felt. Though she scanned the menu a dozen times (and everything looked sooo good), she ordered the scampi.
After the waiter left them, they fell into an easy conversation, talking about school and their friends. Soon, Mandy forgot about the elegant room and thoughts of her inadequate dress, and just enjoyed speaking with Dale. He seemed to have changed so much in the last few weeks. His jokes weren't as crude, and he actually seemed to be listening when she spoke.
“So, you three are just going to fly off to Brazil after graduation?” Dale asked.
“Not necessarily Brazil. We could end up in Europe. I haven't even talked it over with them yet, but we may not all go to the same college. Then, who knows what's going to happen to us? We should have some kind of great memory together, you know?”
“Sure,” he said, though he didn't seem convinced. “What brought all of this up?”
“Nicki mostly,” Mandy said. Of course, she couldn't mention her chats with Kyle. “I was thinking about all the things she won't get to do. Then, I started thinking about everything I wanted to do.”
Dale nodded his head, looked at his plate. “I guess we've all done a lot of thinking since that
night. The first thing I noticed when we got back to school was how nice everyone was being, right? Everyone was kind of quiet and really polite. And I got that, because I felt the same way. The thing is, it's only been two weeks and school is getting back to normal, like everyone is mostly over it and the kids are acting like themselves again.”
This observation seemed to worry Dale. Mandy thought she knew why. He didn't want to be the way he was before Nicki's death. He'd discovered things about himself and his family, and it really changed him. Now though, he was concerned the change was only temporary. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly.
“She was online that night,” Dale said. “Before that bastard kidnapped her, she was online. I saw her on my buddy list.”
Thinking about Dale on the computer that night stung Mandy. She remembered far too clearly what he was doing. Still, she didn't remember Nicki being signed on, though by the time she got home to her own computer and buddy list, her fight with Dale was the only thing in her head.
“I always considered my list like a kind of party,” Dale said. “I could just hang out and chat,
and it's like all of my friends were right there, all the time, watching out for each other and having a good time. But Nicki was there, surrounded by all of us, and then she was just gone.”
Mandy held his hand tighter. She didn't know what to say. She certainly was not going to bring up Kyle and how she told herself he wasn't real just because she only knew him through lines of text. That was the last thing they needed tonight.
“Wow, that killed the conversation,” Dale said, letting loose another nervous laugh. “Let's find something a little less Poe to talk about.”
“Well,” Mandy said, “are you doing anything cool this weekend?”
“I don't know,” Dale said. “Are we?”
Â
They stood on Mandy's porch, kissing. As always, Dale held her just tight enough, and from his lips and tongue a tingling charge filled Mandy, who held the back of his head, fearing he might pull away. Their date had been perfect, like something out of a movie. She hated that they had school in the morning, hated that it was only eleven o'clock and they were saying good night. She crushed her lips to his, forgetting that her parents might open
the door any second. The kiss seemed to go on forever, yet it still ended too soon.
“I'll pick you up in the morning,” Dale said.
Mandy nodded, not yet able to speak. He kissed her again, a quick peck on the lips.
“Good night,” he said.
“'Night,” she managed.
She watched him walk back to his car, saw him climb in behind the wheel. He waved good night, and she waved back. Then, Dale pulled away, leaving Mandy trembling with exhilaration, fumbling for her house keys.
Upstairs in her room, Mandy looked at her computer. She probably had a ton of e-mails from Drew and Laurel. Both had insisted she call or IM the second she got home to download the details of her date, but she wanted to keep this feeling to herself for a while, felt like holding it close and tight so it wasn't lost. Instead of signing on, she shut the machine down.
Mandy changed into a nightshirt with a picture of a lamb on the front and lay on her bed. Against the dimly lit ceiling, she replayed her date, seeing Dale in his nice gray suit, and the restaurant with its waiters dressed in tuxedos. It was all so wonderful.
Things were back to the way they should be.
Except for Kyle, she thought. She still had to chat with him, needed to cancel their date for Saturday night. She couldn't go out with him now, and he probably wouldn't want to chat anymore once he knew Mandy had a boyfriend. The whole mess made her feel queasy. It would be easier to just send him an e-mail, but that was lame. He'd be back from California tomorrow. After school, she would explain things. She knew he'd understand.
Then everything really would be back to normal.