Lust (15 page)

Dear Juicy Journal, 

I know I shouldn’t have done it, but I was horny and I wanted to fuck.

It seemed like forever since I’d felt the hardness of a man pounding between my legs, and the moment he walked into the room I knew I wanted to do him.

The poets had just finished their last set when the crowd broke out in applause. I couldn’t believe my eyes when he stepped up to the mic and thanked everybody for coming out and showing their support.

Mmmm…I moaned under my breath as I clapped. Goddamn he was fine. Even finer than I remembered him being back when I lived on 136th Street and he was a beast-ass high school baller pounding that rock up and down the court. Well I had something he could pound, all right.

Our eyes met across the room, and it felt like an inferno sparked up between us. He penetrated me with his piercing gaze and my womanly juices started to flow. I gazed at him without blinking as my clit throbbed in my panties. I panted and twitched in my seat as my pussy popped deliciously in that sweet, familiar way.

The man was a beast. A dick slanga. I could tell he could put it down just by the way he looked at me. Like he was already all up in my pussy and denting up my walls.

I was dying to suck his dick. I pictured it matching his dark, muscular body. His lips were moving as he spoke into the mic, but I had gone deaf and dumb and I couldn’t hear a damn thing. I wanted to walk over to him and tangle my fingers in the black velvet of his locks. I wanted to feel his curly moustache tickling my pussy lips.

The applause sounded again, and then suddenly it was gone. The whole world disappeared as he walked across the room and headed straight at me. He stood in front of me and I watched a knot rise up in the front of his pants.

“Take it out,” I whispered as he inched his zipper down and then reached into his boxers. Carefully, he extracted his throbbing dick, and it looked so damn good I wanted to lick it. My shit was on, and I had called it right. That dick looked just like him. It was thick, dark, and long, a stunning rock-hard slab of muscle, and my breath caught in my throat when he dropped his hands, releasing that monster and showing it off.

It had been a minute since I’d seen one as pretty as his, but I swear it looked like dope and I was shaking like an addict. He stood there and let me feen for it as it stuck out from his body like a battle sword.

I jumped all over that baby. Grabbing it with both my hands, I opened my mouth wide and made a popping sound as I sucked the head straight past my lips. I paused and ground it tightly between my soft tongue and the roof of my mouth, and then I jutted my neck and plunged my head straight down toward his groin.

Moaning, he palmed my skull like it was a basketball and pushed his meat deeper into my mouth. My tongue twirled all over that chocolate pop as I opened that trap door in my throat and sucked him in.

“Yeahhh,” he groaned out his encouragement. “Suck this big dick, baby. Suck it.”

I went to work even harder and I really put that neck pussy on him as he mouth-fucked me like he was really up in my guts. I cupped his balls and let my cheeks collapse, blowing his head and making him grunt for more.

Moments later he shuddered and pulled away. I grinned up at him, knowing that I had almost copped that nut.

“Your turn,” he said as he pulled me to my feet. It was all about me as he covered my lips and slipped his tongue deep inside my mouth. He unbuttoned my shirt and my firm twins jumped right out, rowdy and free. My nipples stiffened like pebbles as he unzipped my jeans and slid his hand inside my panties.

My pussy juices burned his fingers as he inserted them in my snatch. He stroked my swollen clit, slowly at first, and then faster as my hips started to thrust. Slowly, he used his other hand to inch my pants down around my hips, and they were barely past my knees when he lost it and gripped the cheeks of my ass. He bent down and bit into my pussy like it was a big juicy apple.

I shuddered as soon as his tongue touched me. “Uh-huh, give it to me,” he demanded as he parted my pussy lips with his fingers and plunged his tongue deeply inside my wet forest. I yelped as he lapped up my juices and then used his soft tongue to spread them all over my clit.

He ate my pussy like he was a starving man, and when I felt him gripping my ass, spreading me open wide, I arched my back and clenched my teeth. His tongue felt just like a little dick as he inserted it deep inside me, and when his finger pressed up against my back door and then slipped up in there too, it was my turn to palm his head as I screamed and spurted sweet cum in his mouth, coating his tongue and lips with the big load of honey that I had just spilled….

I dropped my pen and sat up. Sweat had dripped from my face and fallen onto the paper. My pussy was wet. It was hot and it was ready. I wanted to open my legs and get the dog shit fucked outta me but the problem was, it was all just a fantasy. The same type of crazy stories I used to write back when I was a sexually frustrated teenager who was dying to get fucked.

The words I’d written had started out small and neat, but by the end of my little story they’d gotten big and loopy. I closed the notebook and slid it under my pillow. I thought back to the days when I used to masturbate on the pull-out sofa in Grandmother’s living room, and then to all those nights that I had fingered myself to a silent orgasm while laying in the bed right next to G.

I had always craved dick. It was just in my nature to want to fuck. And right now I wanted to reach down in my panties and rub my pussy until it exploded, but I didn’t. Because it wasn’t a finger or a fantasy that I wanted. It was a man. And hell, since there wasn’t nobody around to judge me but me, I just went on ahead and admitted it.

I wanted Trey.

$$$$$

When Chiney showed up at the homeless shelter begging me to come back to Harlem I thought she had lost her damn mind. I was stretched across my bed reading a real sexy book called, “Knockin’ Boots” when one of the counselors banged on the door to tell me I had a visitor.

“
Me?
” I said stupidly, “Somebody is here to see
me?
”

I glanced at Egypt, terrified. The first thing that ran through my mind was that Flex had found me and had come to finish my ass off.

“It’s a young lady,” the counselor said. “Kinda tall, light-skinned. Pretty in the face.”

“Come with me,” I asked Egypt.

 Chiney was waiting on the front porch when we got downstairs. A white sedan was parked at the curb. She broke out grinning as I stepped outside and we hugged each other tightly.

“Girl, what the hell are you doing here?” I said after I introduced her to Egypt. “You scared the shit outta me! When they said I had a visitor I thought somebody had found my ass!”

Chiney laughed. “I did find your ass! I came to get you, Juicy. To break you up outta here.”

“But how did you know—”

 “Trey,” she said quickly. “My brother told me he saw you living up in here and it fucked my head up. So I came to get you.”

I shook my head. “Are you serious? You came to get me to take me
where?
”

“Home with me! To Harlem. I stay at Trey’s crib and we got plenty of room. Ain’t no reason for you to be living like this when you can stay with us until you get on your feet.”

I chuckled a little bit and backed up. “Uh-uh, Chiney. I’ma stay right here until they put my ass out in a couple of days, and then I’ma move on to the next shelter just like everybody else does. I’m not staying at your brother’s crib, and I
damn
sure ain’t about to show my face in Harlem. Niggahs is gunning for me up there, girl. I’d be stretched out cold in less than 24 hours.”

“Juicy. C’mon now.” Chiney sat down on the top step and pulled me down next to her. She frowned and shook her head. “Don’t insult me like that. Do you really think I would come snatch you up outta Brooklyn and put you in a fucked up situation? You think I would put you in any danger, girl?”

I shrugged. I had told her a lot about my past while we were locked up on Rikers Island together, but I hadn’t told her everything. “No, not on purpose, but it’s not about you, Chiney. It’s about my life and my situation. Hell no, I don’t think you would let me walk into nothing crazy if you knew about it. But there’s a lotta stuff going on with me that you
don’t
know about.”

“Ya think?” she said.

I nodded.

And then Chiney proceeded to spit out all the gritty, embarrassing shit I thought I had kept secret. She knew practically everything about what had gone down in Harlem. From my days with G, to how I ran off with his son, to how Ace and Pluto had put a bounty on my head, and of course how I was now living in a shelter way down in Brooklyn.

“Ain’t no secrets on the streets of Harlem, Juicy. You should know that by now. But trust me,” Chiney said. “I already talked to my brother, and if you come stay with us you ain’t gotta worry about nobody fuckin’ with you, Juicy. Trey’s got a crew, and they got you covered.”

“They?” I smirked. “Who the hell is
they?
”

“My brother and every other hardbody in Harlem who’s down with his Talented Ten crew.”

I shook my head, not feeling it at all.

“I really appreciate you looking out for me Chiney, but I don’t know if I can live with your brother.”

“Why not?” Egypt butt in. She had been so quiet I had almost forgotten she was still standing in the doorway. “Why you can’t live with people who are willing to look out for you, Juicy? That’s kinda stupid,” she said in her typical blunt way. “I mean, you came up in here to live with perfect strangers, and trust me, if that dude who pushed you on the train tracks had busted up in here tryna get after your ass, wasn’t nobody here gonna help you. I don’t see why you wouldn’t go somewhere where somebody you trust is willing to look out for you. Don’t be like me. A shelter hopper. When you’re single with no kids it’s not easy to get a bed in this system, girl. You better jump on this opportunity and not let it get away.”

I thought about the heat I had felt in Trey’s eyes just last night and a spark zinged through me. “I know, but I just don’t want to...”

“C’mon, Juicy,” Chiney said and stood up. I got up too, and her eyes begged me to trust her. “We got all the room you could want, and Trey stays gone all the time. Get your shit and come home with me, girl. You won’t even know his ass is there.”

$$$$$

Being back on my side of Harlem affected me in a way that I couldn’t have predicted. The last time I’d seen these streets I’d been running for my life. Even in my dreams. But now, all the old sights and sounds, the corner stores and pizza shops, all of it came down on me and made my heart hurt inside my chest.

As scared as I was of what might happen to me here, this was home. It had been Grandmother’s home, Cara’s home, and Jimmy’s home, and no matter who was after a piece of my ass, Harlem was my home too. And even though I had suffered here and lost so, so much, I had missed it.

“A’ight,” Chiney said as she pulled up outside of a wide, one-story building with a lot of small windows on it. “This is it.”

Chiney had told me we were gonna make a quick stop to pick Trey up before we went to the crib. She said he ran a community center for the children of Harlem, and that he had convinced a bunch of other organizations to donate computers, workstations, tables, chairs, and even after school snacks and meals.

There was a sign near the top with a big basketball holding up a bridge, and the emblem read, The Crossover.