LUST: A Bad Boy and Amish Girl Romance (The Brody Bunch Book 2) (45 page)

Tried, and failed. Dear God. Why was I such an asshole?

I sat back on the bench, staring at my phone and waiting for a reply. I wouldn’t have blamed her if I never got one. But I was hoping against all hope that I would, because goddamn, I really needed to see Parker Jones again.

I
’d been
on edge ever since Kellan texted me asking for my address. I’d almost forgotten he’d never been to my place before. I’d only been to his, and other than that, we hadn’t seen much of each other outside of his fights. And that never seemed to go well, for me at least.

He didn’t say why he wanted to know, and I didn’t ask. Something told me that Kellan had heard about Thom, and maybe that had something to do with it. Whatever the case, I’d let him say it to my face. Even if what he had to say was “goodbye.”

That can’t be it, can it? I mean, he’s already said goodbye before. This has to be something new. Something different.

At least, I hoped it would be.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard him knock on my door. It was raining outside, and I didn’t want him to have to wait in the torrential downpour, so I answered while still tying my robe closed over my chemise. I was already ready for bed after a long night at the hospital making sure Thom was going to be okay.

Despite my haste, Kellan was soaked to the bone anyway, probably as a result of having to run from the curb to the stoop. His dark brown hair was in his eyes, and the only thing I could see in those was pain.

“It could’ve been you, Parker,” he said, still standing on the other side of the threshold. “Instead of Thom, it could’ve been you.”

“I know,” I said softly, opening the door wider to let Kellan in. He stepped inside and I closed the door behind him, blocking out the sound of the rain pounding the asphalt.

Kellan peeled off his jacket, then his shirt, and hung them up on the rack near the door. I stared at the slopes of his muscles, the hard planes of his ripped body. Once I started looking, it was hard to tear my gaze away. I swallowed thickly as he turned to face me, revealing that gorgeous tattoo, those biceps that had once held me so close I was sure we’d become one person instead of two.

“I fucked up,” he said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve listened. I was pigheaded and stupid and wrong.”

“I forgive you,” I said instantly. And I meant it. I’d had time to think it over, and the truth was I wasn’t really mad at Kellan for how he’d reacted. I was mad at myself for not being straight up with him from the start, for letting Melanie Cartwright’s advice infect what my heart was telling me. It said I needed Kellan Jarvis in my life, and now, after everything I’d been through, that was good enough for me.

“Seriously?” Kellan said. “But I was so mean to you…”

“Well, you weren’t exactly wrong,” I replied. “I lied to you. Or at least, I didn’t tell you the truth. You had every right to be upset.”

“But I didn’t have the right to say those things I said about you,” Kellan interrupted, cupping my face in his hands. “I was awful, Parker. You didn’t deserve that. And I’ll never treat you like that ever again. I swear it. Now that I know the truth, I also know what I have. You’re the only damn person outside of my family who’s ever stuck their neck out for me like this. Who’s ever cared enough about me to tell me things I needed to hear, even if I didn’t want to. You give more of a shit about me than I do about myself, most days. I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” I whispered, leaning into his touch. God, how I’d missed it. “We’re going to get through this. Together. Help me take that son of a bitch down.”

Kellan regarded me with a lopsided grin. “Hell, Parker. That just might be the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

He leaned down and kissed me, my face still cradled between his rough palms. I liked the way they felt on my skin, how they ever so slightly abraded my soft flesh. I breathed in Kellan’s scent, savoring its return, memorizing everything about him that I’d taken for granted. The softness of his hair. The hardness of his muscles. The press of his body against mine. How warm he was, despite the rain. God, he was like raw fire in my hands, and I was a moth, entranced by his dancing flames. I wanted him to consume me, to burn me up from the inside out, and that was exactly what his kiss was doing.

“Don’t stop,” I begged him as he loosened the belt of my robe. “Please, Kellan. I don’t want to have to hesitate with you ever again.”

“You won’t,” he assured me, picking me up under my ass and lifting me against his frame.

I wrapped my legs around Kellan’s narrow waist, moaning as he gripped my thighs. Between kisses, I helped direct him to the bedroom, and by the time we got there, my robe had fallen off and all that stood between us was the silk and sheer lace of my chemise. Kellan dropped me on my back on the bed and pushed the fabric up until it bunched at my hips and he could see I wasn’t wearing panties underneath. When my bare pussy came into view, he sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth.

“I’ve missed this,” he murmured, stroking my outer lips.

“It’s missed you,” I replied, shuddering as he spread me with two of his fingers.

Kellan delved between my legs, lifting them up over his shoulders as he pressed his face up against my pussy. He inhaled me first, reveling in my bouquet before prying me open again and stroking me with his tongue. Thunder rolled in the distance and I rolled my hips in reply, pushing closer to Kellan’s mouth. He responded by flicking his tongue quick and light against my clit, making me moan and quiver with delight.

“I have to make it up to you,” he murmured, grazing his teeth over my mound. “I figure this is a good enough start.” And then he slipped his fingers inside me, circling my most sensitive spot with his fingertips while caressing my clit with his mouth.

I seized his hair, throwing my head back in sheer bliss as Kellan ate me out. Electric pulses threatened to shatter me right then and there, to send me spiraling into orgasmic oblivion, but I had to hold on. I wanted to relish these sensations, succulent as they were, and commit them to memory. If Kellan ever left me again, I wanted to keep him with me in my heart, and I wanted every cold, lonely night to be filled with images of his tongue dancing around my folds.

I knew he wouldn’t leave me, though. Not after this. I felt it way down deep in my bones. Kellan and I were inseparable now, despite the odds. When you know, you know.

And with Kellan, I knew.

I squealed with joy as he picked up the pace, thrusting his fingers deep inside my cunt. It wasn’t as good as his cock though, and that was what I wanted—I wanted his dick inside me again, filling me up and stretching me like nothing else could. I wanted the pleasure and the pain I’d been denied for days now. I wanted him to take me like the animal I knew lurked deep inside him. And I could see by the glint in his eyes that Kellan wanted that, too, but that maybe he was afraid he’d hurt me.

“Mount me,” I told him, licking my lips as I looked down at him. “Fuck me, Kellan. On all fours. I want to feel you claim me.”

Kellan chuckled, swirling his tongue on my tiny bud. “You don’t know what you’re asking…”

“But I do,” I insisted. “Christ, Kellan, don’t you think I know what I want? I want you. Hard. Rough. Fast. I want you to take me over completely, to make me forget that I’m anything other than
yours.
Please, Kellan. Fuck me. You won’t hurt me, I swear.” I sat up on my elbows and looked into his eyes. “I trust you.”

Without another word, Kellan crawled up my body, pulling my chemise over my head along the way. When I was laid completely bare before him, he began to undo his jeans, looking down at me intensely.

“I want you to see what you do to me, first,” he said.

Slowly, Kellan unleashed his cock. It was swollen and stiff, just the way I liked it, the rosy tip gleaming in the filtered moonlight. I leaned forward to wrap my lips around it, to steal a taste of the dick I’d missed so much, but Kellan shook his head and grabbed me by my hair, stopping me.

“No, baby. I need that pussy tonight.
Just
your pussy. Now, get on your hands and knees.”

I did as I was told, turning over onto my stomach before rising up onto all fours. Kellan removed his jeans all the way and I felt him slide up behind me, his dick sawing between my cheeks. I moaned and bit my lip, looking over my shoulder in anticipation of what was to come. When Kellan slapped my ass I yelped in surprise, then moaned again as he pushed his cock into me in one, hard stroke.

“Kellan!” I whimpered, spreading my legs wider to accommodate him. Oh, he was so
thick.
I’d never get over how completely full he made me. “Oh, yes!”

“That’s my girl,” he whispered, grabbing hold of my hips and pulling me back hard on his cock. I cried out as I reached the base, his full length impaling me. I was so stuffed full of his dick that I could practically taste him on my tongue. This was heaven. It had to be. I’d never felt such divine bliss.

Kellan began to thrust hard, his hips slapping against my ass in a rhythm that made my toes curl. He held me by my waist, fingers digging in so hard I knew there would be bruises in the shape of forget-me-nots the next day. Once again, he was bare, and the velvety texture of his skin inside my tight channel made me all the more excited to take him in, to get him as deep as possible. I never wanted him to leave my bed. He was like a drug—utterly intoxicating.

“Harder,” I wailed as he drove into me so hard my headboard crashed into the wall. “Fuck me harder, Kellan. Make me scream.”

And a moment later, he did just that.

His fingers played my clit expertly, working that bud at the same time the tip of his cock pounded my inner sweet spot. I bit my lip until I tasted blood and ground my ass against him, panting, sweating, making sounds I didn’t even know I was capable of. When Kellan grabbed my knees and pulled my legs up, my hands still on the bed, I was in awe of how easily he manhandled me. And how deep he could get, too.

I buried my face in my pillows and screamed. And then the pressure gave way inside of me and I screamed again, slapping the mattress as I came all over Kellan’s swelling, pulsating cock. I was immediately lost to the sensation, a madwoman carried ever deeper into insanity by the unbearable rapture of being fucked by a man who knew my body better than I did. I didn’t know how it was possible, but Kellan played me like a musical instrument, like his hands had been tailor-made to strum my body, to bring me to such great heights.

“Oh, fuck!” he gritted as I squirted a little down his shaft. I’d never done that before, but fuck, it felt good—like I’d reached a whole other level of ecstasy. “Oh, fuck, Parker. Here it comes…!”

He held me high as he pulled out of me, and I looked down between my legs to see his dick spurt a massive load all over my stomach. The sounds Kellan made were music to my ears, and the way he gripped my body made my knees weak. As had become our ritual, as soon as his cock was spent, he slid it back inside me, turning me over onto my back so he could look down into my eyes and play with my hair.

I smiled up at him. “Are we good now?” I asked him.

Kellan grinned. Then he nodded and kissed me on my lips. “Yeah, sweetheart. I think we’re good. Except for one little thing I should mention, if we’re being straight up with each other now.”

I cocked my head and frowned. “What’s that?”

Gently, he leaned down and pressed his forehead against mine. Nuzzling my nose, Kellan whispered, “I think I’m falling for you.”

I
t was
bad goddamn luck to fuck before a fight. It was one of the basic rules of the fighting world. I knew it as well as I knew the back of my hand. But fuck it, I hadn’t been able to help myself when it came to Parker. Not after being away from her for even just those few days.

“I think I’m falling for you,” I told her, letting the confession fall from my lips like a breathy prayer. In a way, it kind of was. I was praying she’d feel the same way. Praying she wouldn’t think I was a total mess for everything I’d put her through, only to tell her now that I was, slowly but surely, falling in love with her.

Maybe not so slowly, either. We’d only known each other a couple weeks, yet here I was, totally smitten with her. I was changing my whole life to be with her.

No, that was only partially true. I was changing my life because she made me feel like I deserved better. Like I could do better. And I believed her now. With Parker wrapped up in my arms, I felt goddamn invincible.

“That’s good,” she told me, pressing her mouth to mine. “Because I think I’m falling for you, too.”

I’d never imagined that hearing words like that would make me feel so good. Being accepted by someone, being loved by them, was almost more than my heart could bear. I felt like I was gonna explode from all the emotion that welled up inside me. Instead, I buried myself inside Parker and fucked her again, each thrust into her warm, wet cunt erasing the years of pain and misery I’d held onto for so damn long.

Each thrust inside of her felt like I was coming home.

We took it easy this time. I guess it wasn’t so much fucking as making love. I took my time with her, enjoying every breathy moan I pulled from between her perfect lips. I made it last, took her to heights she’d never known existed. I gave her as much as I took from her, looking into her eyes, letting her see what she did to me, how much this all meant. I couldn’t think of a time when I’d been like this with a woman. When I’d opened myself up to them as much as I opened them up to me.

When she lay beside me, half-conscious and giddy from a second orgasm, I began to feel that creeping dread that had haunted me most of my life. It was that feeling of impending doom, like all of this was too good to be true. Like I couldn’t possibly be this lucky without having to pay some kind of monumental price for it.

And maybe that feeling was right. Maybe I was tempting fate with all this happiness I was experiencing lately. But I couldn’t push Parker away again, and I couldn’t go back to the way things were before. She’d opened my eyes to a new hope, a new reality, and I had to try to make it work with her. There was no other option, no other way.

Even if everything was about to go south, I had to look to the future, because that was the only part of my life worth fighting for. And I was a fighter. That was what I did. It was in my blood. Like I said before, I didn’t know how to do anything else.

Fighting for a cause, though? That was new to me. And scary, in a way. But with Parker at my side, I knew I’d come out on top. Or at least, I was hoping I did.

I rolled over onto my side and gently stroked along her jaw. “Hey, baby. I got my last fight comin’ up.”

Parker’s eyes fluttered open. “Your last fight?”

I nodded. “After I figured out what Vic had done, I called him up and told him this was it. I’m out. But not before I get what he owes me. To do that, though, I’ve gotta fight one last time. I know it’s stupid, he owes me the money regardless. But I figure this is one way I can make sure the fucker faces me and doesn’t just disappear with my cash. So will you be there for me, baby? Cheering me on?” I slipped my finger under her chin, tilting her head up so I could gaze into her eyes. “I can’t do this without you.”

Softly, Parker reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. As I leaned into her touch, she whispered in my ear, “We’re a team, Kellan. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I met her stare. “I know it’s asking a lot. After what happened to Thom… Jesus, Parker, I’m so sorry about that. I feel so… responsible.”

“You aren’t,” she assured me, but I wasn’t so sure. After all, if I’d listened to her from the start, Thom would’ve have gotten his head caved in by those assholes back at the bar.

“How is he?” I asked her. “I heard it was bad.”

Parker nodded. “It is. But he’s okay, mostly. Shaken up, and he’ll have a nasty scar on his head. Right now, though, I think he’s most upset that they had to shave off his hair to put the staples in.”

I closed my eyes. That didn’t make me feel much better. My thoughts drifted again to the idea of Parker having been the one to confront those guys instead of Thom. My blood boiled at the prospect of what they would have done to her. I didn’t realize I was clenching my fist until Parker gasped, and I realized I had a handful of her hair.

I kissed her forehead and let go, stroking her locks back into place. “Things will be different now, baby. I swear. I’m here, and I’ll protect you from anyone, or anything. I’ll keep you safe.”

“I’ll keep you safe, too,” Parker whispered, burying her face in my neck as she wrapped her arms around me. I held her tight as she continued. “We’ll protect each other, Kellan. Whatever comes.”

I smiled against her hair. I’d never had anyone watch my back like this before. Not even in the Marines. Because Parker wasn’t a soldier—she wasn’t trained to fight, wasn’t ready for the world I was thrusting her into. That made it a bigger sacrifice, and that meant so much more.

Part of me still felt like I didn’t deserve her, or this new life she was giving me. After everything I’d done, after all the stupid shit I’d pulled, how the hell could I justify a happy ending?

Maybe that was the point—that I didn’t need to. Parker and I required no justification. We just
were.
And that was exactly the way I wanted it.

“Sleep now, baby,” I told her, even though I was pretty sure she’d already nodded off. “Tomorrow’s gonna be a brand new day.”

And the start of a brand new life, for the both of us.

W
e fucked again
the next morning. Parker was a goddamn spitfire. For all her good girl looks, it turned out she could be really bad when she wanted to be. That was quickly becoming my favorite thing about her. I liked that she wasn’t what she seemed.

Almost as much as I liked the way she screamed my name.

In the shower afterward, she slicked my hair back with shampoo and said, “I think I’m gonna go see Thom again before your fight. I was there last night, but they weren’t letting anyone but family in. He texted me today and said Melanie had stopped by, so I guess that means I can go, too.”

“Do you want me to come?” I asked her, closing my eyes as she gave me the best damn scalp massage ever. Christ, her nails were heaven. “I feel like I should at least explain…”

“He’s not mad at you,” Parker said. “If anything, he should be mad at me. I’m the one who dragged him into all this, all because of your dog tags and your cute butt.”

I smirked. “Which one made you want me more?”

She stopped massaging and I tilted my head back under the hot water. As I rinsed, she ran her fingers over my abs. “Neither. It was your eyes.”

I rolled them. “Everyone says that. It’s such a cop out.”

“I mean it,” Parker insisted, now tracing my tattoo. “Not just because they’re pretty, even though they are.”
Pretty.
Now that was a word no one had ever used to describe me. “I saw such pain behind them. Such misery. I knew you had a story, and I wanted to hear it. From the moment I met you, I…” She trailed off, and when I looked down at her, she blushed. “I wanted to save you.”

A slow grin spread over my face. On one level, that was absurd. I was a big boy who’d seen more violence than Parker could ever dream of. I’d been through hell and back all on my own. Sure, maybe a few years ago I’d needed saving, but I wasn’t that fucked up kid anymore.

But on the other hand, it was sort of… romantic. Maybe Parker wasn’t going to physically come to my rescue, but she
had
saved my soul. I’d been broken before she found me, and as much as my male ego hated to admit it, she was the one who’d started putting all those pieces back together.

“Let’s make a deal,” I said, drawing her against me under the water. God, she looked hot wet. “From here on out, we’ll always be there to save each other. Agreed?”

Parker smirked. “Agreed. As long as you’re also willing to forget the past. It’s time to move forward, Kellan. We can’t let fear, or guilt, hold us back. Is that something you can commit to?”

That was one hell of a question. I knew, if I was being honest with myself, that I took things hard. I shouldered burdens that were never mine to bear. I carried the weight of the world, even when no one had asked me to. I let shit get to me, let it work way too deep under my skin. I also knew that was a pattern I had to break, but old habits, and all that.

Parker was worth it, though. She was worth all the fight and struggle in the world. As long as we were struggling through this together, it would be worth every ounce of effort.

“Anything for you, baby,” I told her, smoothing her soaked tresses back so I could look into her eyes. “From now on, we don’t look back. Only forward.”

The longer the idea settled with me, the more I liked it. Maybe because I knew with Parker in my life, I had a hell of a lot to look forward to.