Authors: Emily Snow
"Look, I'd really like to carry on with my night. With my entire life,” she hissed, moving in close to her ex. “So stop being a coward.” She wanted closure, but at the same time, some small part of her dreaded the answer.
What if he tells me I simply wasn't good enough?
Henry raises his blue eyes from the floor to meet hers. She knew what he saw in her face—hurt, betrayal, insecurity—and his gaze softened as if it would help the verbal blow he was about to deliver. "I didn't love you like I knew I should have. And when I met Nat...." He trailed off, not needing to fill in the blanks.
“You should have left a lot sooner then.”
She lowered her gaze to the hardwood floor beneath her feet, feeling as if the breath had been ripped from her body when he asked, “Did you love me like
you
should have, Vi?"
“I don't know. At the time, I thought we were happy.” She lifted her shoulders. “Guess I was wrong about that, too.”
"I'm sorry."
"No matter how little or much I loved you, it still sucked, Henry," she whispered, suddenly furious. "All of a sudden it was 'Sorry, I've fallen in love with Natalie. There's nothing I can say except that this isn’t enough.' How can you justify saying you loved me when you knew that there was someone else? How could you string me along like that?" She clenched her hands. It was all she could do not to slap that strategically placed woeful look off his face.
"I didn't mean to. I thought that it was just a fluke. That if I could feel like that for a stranger, then I would learn those same feelings for you. But you just admitted that you didn't love me either."
"I didn't say that. Of course I loved you. I loved you, and you made my love foolish. In fact, you made a fool out of me days before we were supposed to get married." When she heard a harsh intake of air behind them, a chill raced through her and she turned around to see Declan standing within earshot of the conversation. His face appeared to be set in stone, the line of his jaw so tight it was clearly defined.
“Dammit.” She disregarded Henry and stepped towards him. “Look, Declan, let me explain.” Reaching out a hand, she was surprised to see him recoil.
"Don't waste your time." He shook his head and she watched him retreat quickly into the crowd.
*
A
fter giving Violet the space she desired, Declan had gone into the hallway to call home. Jacob answered with a yapping Bear in the background and they chatted for a few minutes. Apparently, his brother heated up some leftovers and felt a little lonely so he went next door and collected the tiny terror. They were watching TV together when he called.
He hung up with his brother after assuring him that he'd be home before midnight. Returning to the main room, he had he caught the tail end of Violet's conversation with Henry. And what he heard stung.
The guy was her ex-fiancé. And she was clearly still holding onto strong feelings where Henry Abee was concerned. But what hurt him the most was that she hadn’t said anything to him. While he was spilling his guts to her about his screwed up dating past, she didn't even give him warning that she had been engaged previously.
Or that her fiancé would be attending the same goddamn party.
"Declan, stop. Please.” She tugged hard on his arm to keep him in place, earning a curious glance from another couple chatting in the foyer, but he kept walking. “Would you slow down?”
He got to the front door and collected his coat. “Forget it."
"Where are you going?" Her voice was breathless, confused and hurt.
"To wait in my truck for you to be ready." He shoved his arms into his jacket and shot her a chilling glance. "There's no fucking way I'm sitting through dinner with your fiancé at your side getting to second base with you under the table.”
"Ex! Ex- fiancé!" She followed him out the door and down the front steps. "Believe me, we’re done and we’re obviously nothing to each other now."
He whirled around, frustration clouding his already strong emotions. "It didn't look like
nothing
back there. And it sure as hell didn't sound like
nothing
!" He had seen the flash of sexual awareness in Henry's eyes, a look of a man who'd been intimate with a woman and was recalling each and every memory of their time together.
"No.” She tried to keep up with his long strides in her heels, but he didn't slow down. "You don't understand."
He paused and faced her again, his dark eyes narrowed. “Make me understand, then. What I don't get is why you didn't say a word about this on the ride here. Not a word. After I mentioned my dating past, it would've been nice to get a little heads up. 'By the way, I've been engaged in the not too distant past, and I still might have feelings for the guy. And oh, he knows my grandparents, so there might be the tiniest chance that he might be there tonight.'" He knew he was being cruel and irrational, but he couldn't help it. Violet was the first woman he had ever been so honest and upfront with, and to not receive the same from her literally knocked the air out of his lungs.
She almost tripped on the pavement because of her shoes and he instinctively steadied her, holding her hip with one large hand and her bare shoulder with his other. She took a deep breath and balled her small hands into fists.
"It's not that easy to say, Declan! It's not that I'm proud of the fact I was dumped for another woman. Is that what you want to hear? Is it?" She was angry now, hot tears streaming down her face and falling on her chest. "Do you want to hear how I was inadequate? How I loved a guy and thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him? How he fell head over heels for a woman that I considered my friend?”
"That would have been a good heads up."
She sucked in a breath. "Give me a fucking break!”
"I don't like secrets."
She crossed her bare arms over her chest. “I'm sorry that I didn't mention it in the truck, but I was already stressed enough about coming here. And yes, I should have said something, especially when you told me about your last girlfriend, but I just didn't want to open up that can of worms yet. Softening, she laid a hand on his tense forearm and felt his muscles twitch beneath her fingers. “But you can't expect to know everything about me on the first date. I'm sure there are plenty of things you haven't told me."
It was true. And once again, he knew he was being unreasonable and an ass. But the situation with Henry had caught him off guard, and he didn't like it. He sighed, ran a tired hand through his hair, and lowered his voice. "You're right."
She uncrossed her arms and dragged her hands over her face. "I'm sorry about Henry and for not mentioning him sooner. In my defense, I did tell you that my last relationship ended in a disaster."
Declan quirked his lip. "That's a bit of an understatement." He relaxed and reached out, swiping a tear from her cheek with his thumb. Feeling the dampness on his skin, he felt like shit for his reaction. "I'm sorry for getting so pissed off. I saw you with him, and when I heard you say that you loved him, I lost it."
She stepped closer and laid her head against him, breathing in his earthy scent. "He caught me off guard too, you know?"
Declan wrapped his arms around her. "Yeah, I'm sure I didn't help any."
"I'd say you were relatively justified in your anger." She pulled back a fraction to look in his brown eyes. "Not entirely. But a tiny bit justified."
He let a slow smile unfurl. "Did we just have our first fight?"
"I think so."
Declan dropped his forehead to rest gently on hers. He was close enough to breathe in her scent again, and he inhaled deeply. "Sorry." He tilted her chin up and kissed her, his lips molding the apology that he knew would never be sufficient in words alone. “I'm so fucking sorry, Vi.”
"Me too."
"Don't be mad, but I really don't feel like going back in there and having dinner with that guy."
She nodded. "How about we go back and you get my coat while I make up an excuse for my grandmother? Then you take me out to dinner."
"Deal."
*
"A
lright, tell me."
Violet broke off a piece of her biscuit and slathered it with honey before taking a bite. "I met him at a coffee shop after our orders got mixed up. He was charming and swept me off my feet."
“I’ve just got to know—what did he order?”
“A pumpkin spice latte.” When Declan threw his head back and laughed, she raised a dark eyebrow. “What?"
“Oh, something about your ex being a basic bitch, and this.” He leaned across to her, tilted her chin up with his fingertip and without warning, he inclined forward to lick her bottom lip. Her breath caught. "You had honey there." His voice was low, sexy.
"Thanks." She managed a shaky smile.
"So Mr. PSL swept you off your feet and then...."
“And honestly, I fell for it. He bought me fabulous presents, went on exotic vacations, and took me out to fancy dinners."
Declan made a face. "As opposed to me, who takes you to a KFC while you're dressed like that."
Violet laughed and it was genuine. She actually loved the fact that he had suggested fast food. She liked sitting next to Declan in her expensive blue cocktail dress, a paper napkin tucked into the front of it, her elbows on the table and her fingers greasy with fried chicken. "I love this. Really," she told him softly.
"I'll make it up to you another day,” he promised.
She shook her head. She wanted, no,
needed
him to understand that she was truly okay with this. "This tastes better than any fifty-dollar-a-plate chicken dinner that's probably too dry and too cold. There's no need to make anything up."
He nodded. "Here," he extended a sporkful of mashed potatoes dipped in gravy toward her mouth and she took it gratefully.
"Yum."
"Anyway, finish your story. Sorry to keep interrupting. I promise I won't make anymore comments about Mr. PSL.”
"Well, like I said, Henry basically charmed me with his lifestyle. After a while, I got used to the way he'd pamper me. It made me feel...." She shrugged helplessly. She didn't really know how to put it.
"Treasured?"
She nodded. "I guess that's a good way to say it. I’d never had a boyfriend who did those things. Soon after that, I was living with him because I couldn't afford my apartment anymore. Things just escalated and when he proposed, I accepted."
"But you did love him, right?" He bit into his drumstick.
Violet picked at the large order of mashed potatoes they were sharing. "Yeah, I thought I did."
"And now?"
"It was love, but not 'til death do us part' love. Know what I mean?"
Declan shook his head slightly. "I've never been in love."
"Never?" She was shocked at the confession. How did a man make it to thirty-two and never have fallen in love?
"Nope."
"How is that possible?"
He set down his food and took a drink from his pop. "I never looked for love. Only sex."
"But what about that girlfriend you told me about? You said you've had some serious relationships in the past."
"Girlfriends, yes, but they were more like extended one-night stands, I guess. And with the ex that I told you about, we had great chemistry in the bedroom and that was about it. Just because she cheated and that hurt me doesn't mean that it wouldn't have ended eventually."
She winced. "Wow, that's brutal."
“It's the truth." He glanced up at her, the look in his dark eyes unreadable. "But that's in the past for me."
A moment passed as she absorbed what he had just told her. She went to get another piece of chicken from the bucket and bit into it, chewing slowly. "Henry broke things off a day after he told me that he had fallen in love with Natalie. She's Beckett's stepsister, by the way."
He furrowed his brow. "Your friend with the Mercedes?"
"The one and only."
Releasing a low whistle, he leaned back and stared at her with wide eyes. "Wow. This shit is like a soap opera."
She couldn't help but laugh at that assessment. He was right—it was a screwed up situation. To hear him make light of it was exactly what she needed to dissolve the tension. “If it weren't for the fact that it all happened to me, I wouldn't believe it. Maybe Lifetime will make a movie about it." She polished off the rest of her chicken and gulped down her pop, considering her words. "I want you to know that Henry is in my past now."
"As in, you no longer have feelings for him?"
She paused and thought about it for a moment. "It's not that easy to explain," she said. "If by feelings, you mean would I be sad if he dropped dead tomorrow? Yes, of course. But if you mean, do I want to sleep with him or have meaningful conversations? Then no. A part of me will always care about him, but I don’t see him as part of my life anymore. I understand that he fell in love with another woman, but you just don't come back from cheating.”
“Good to know, his hair was too fucking perfect.”
“I like yours better.” She reached over and picked up an apple turnover. She broke off a piece and held it out to Declan, as a peace offering. "Are we done talking about Henry now?"
He opened his mouth and accepted the offering with a smile, his tongue grazing her fingertips. Heat exploded through her body. “Yes.”.
"By the way, I
did
warn you that you wouldn't have a good time tonight," she teased, placing her shaking hands in her lap.
"This has been one hell of a date,” he admitted.
"Any regrets?"
"Nope."
She leaned closer to him, slanting her lips over his, letting him feel her appreciation. He opened immediately at the first touch of her tongue, and she loved it. She gripped his wrists where he had rolled back his dress shirt to the elbows. Her tongue danced with his and she clutched at him, pulling him closer. She wanted to melt into him, to learn every curve and crevice of his body. She wanted to explore every scar, trace every muscle, and lick every inch of him.
Those kinds of thoughts both terrified and excited her.
He pulled away slowly, a deep groan escaping the back of his throat. "You make it hard to stop at just a kiss.”