M. Donice Byrd - The Warner Saga (27 page)

“Well, don’t wait too long. I go back to Washington in a week.”

Blake nodded in understanding. “Mrs. Knight, you look as radiant tonight as ever. That shade of pink complements your coloring beautifully.”

“Blake, it’s always a pleasure,” she said politely not meeting his eyes. “I’m pleased to meet you, Mrs. Warner. I hope your marriage is as happy as mine.”

“Thank you, madam.” Meredith wasn’t sure how to take that. Although the woman’s manners outwardly appeared beyond reproach, to tell the wife of her husband’s illegitimate son
, she hoped her marriage was as happy as hers, felt like a slap in the face.

Blake quickly moved Meredith away from the woman. Unfortunately, she was flanked by his half-sister.

“Mrs. Billingsham, I want to thank you for taking my wife under your care and introducing her.”

“The pleasure was all
mine.”

Frederick
extended his hand and shook Blake’s hand knowing full well his wife never would.

“Congratulations, Warner. You have a lovely bride.”

“Thank you, Freddy. If you’ll excuse us.”

As they stepped away from his family, Blake removed his frock coat and laid it over her shoulders.

“Thank you,” she said as they stepped into the autumn air.

As soon as she slipped her arms to the sleeves, Blake took a hold of her hand. Meredith looked at him as if she were looking at a stranger and pulled her hand away. When he gave her an impatient, questioning look, she shook her head.

“You’re the one who set the ground rules. You made it abundantly clear in Iowa you didn’t like to show affection in public.”

“We planned to quietly divorce. I didn’t want you to become too close to me. Breaking off a relationship is always hard and the deeper in you are, the more difficult it is,” he said as he led her in the direction of his hired
carriage.

Meredith could feel the sarcasm rising in her voice but she couldn’t help herself. “Well, we certainly know you are the expert about all things having to do with ending a relationship. I bet you’ve called off more courtships than there are people in my entire hometown.”

Blake knew instinctively what she was saying was the crux of why she didn’t want to stay married.

“Did Cloris say something to upset you?”

“No, not a word. She just introduced me to every woman there you’ve been with. As soon as she introduced me as your wife, I could tell by their reaction that they were once a relationship with you.”

Blake took a moment to digest that information. Could she really tell? Were the women so transparent? Yes, he was pretty sure they were. What was Donna
thinking sending her to Chicago?

“You have no reason to be jealous. Those women meant nothing to me.”

“Yes, I know. That’s the problem.”

How could she tell him she was just like all those women who thought they were in love with him? There was nothing wrong with any of them. They were beautiful and kind and in love with him and he never loved one of them back.

“What do you know?” he asked frowning.

“You are incapable of love. There is something wrong with you.”

As they approached the very last carriage, the driver climbed off his perch and opened the door.

Blake helped her in giving the hooped skirt a bit of a shove when it caught in the doorway.

“Take the long way. I think I need about thirty minutes to break some news,” he said to the driver.

“Yes, sir.”

When Blake climbed in, he found Meredith sitting in the middle of the seat, her skirt filling the space on either side. Blake had little choice but to sit across from her.

“I believe you were telling me there
is something wrong with me.”

“Do you disagree?”

“Frankly, yes, I’m sure I am as capable of love as anyone but I choose not to give my heart to every woman who comes along.”

She threw her hands in the air. “You have chosen to give your heart to none,” she said emphatically. “And you will love me no more than the rest.”

“Meredith,” Blake said. “I’m not going to lie to you because you deserve the truth. I am not in love with you. However, I’ve had some time while I was away to think. I have come to the conclusion that I would like to remain married to you.”

“We would not suit. Look at us. I’m a little nobody, farmer’s daughter and you are the son of a U.S. Senator.”

“Bastard son,” he corrected.

“Your world is like something from a Jane Austen novel.”

“And?” he asked but did not wait for an answer. “As I was saying, the fact that I took your innocence is reason enough for us to remain married. I am not in the habit of seducing and deflowering young women.”

“You did not seduce me. I chose to go to bed with you.”

A wicked grin crossed his face and made her stomach clench in a most peculiar way that made it difficult for her to sit still.

“No, but I should not have assumed you were experienced. As I said, that alone should have cemented our marriage. That is the way it is done. But also, I am of an age where I would like to have children. To be honest, I like you more than any other woman I know. I’m sorry it is not a love match – you certainly deserve that but there are many reasons why a marriage to me would be advantageous.”

“Yes, and if being wealthy with all the trappings was important to me, I would agree.”

“Trust me when I say, I know money is not important to you. But security is. I know you do not want to go live with your aunt and uncle.”

Meredith met his eyes. She bit her lip as sadness washed over her countenance.

“And the Sioux have attacked my neighbors. Mr. Broberg and his family were killed. He and his son, Johannes were the witnesses at our wedding. It was in the newspaper when I stayed with Donna.”

Blake eyed her sympathetically. “So you can’t go home either,” he quietly said.

“I’m sure Donna would help me get a job as a shop girl.”

“I’m sure she could but there is no reason. You’re my wife and I will support you.”

“Will you stop saying that? Haven’t you been listening? I don’t want to be married to you.”

He wanted to grab her up by the arms and shake her. At this rate he was going to need an hour to tell her about Pete and Lolly.

“I have been listening but there is something I’m not grasping. Maybe if you explained to me why you came here, I’ll understand.”

Meredith crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back. “Because I thought I wanted to stay married to you.”

“You
thought
you wanted to stay married but now you don’t.”

Meredith sat there stubbornly keeping her mouth sealed for over a minute before she answered. “I’m just like all those other stupid women who are in love with you. At least they had an inkling of what they were getting into.”

“You love me?”

“Would you stop repeating everything I say? It doesn’t sound any better coming from your lips.”

“So you don’t want to stay married to me because you’re in love with me.” He tilted his head sideways, confused.

“With no hope of having those feelings returned.”

Normally, if a woman said that to him, he broke off the courtship within days. But Blake found himself uncharacteristically pleased by her admission. It was more than the way he could use that knowledge as leverage to keep her. But for Blake to analyze why that pleased him, he would also have to look into his own feelings and he’d done more than enough of that lately.

Blake stood up as much as the low ceiling permitted. He pushed her skirt aside and squeezed in beside her. He held out his hand to her and after staring at it for a moment, she uncrossed her arms and placed her hand in his.

“I promise you, I will ever be mindful of your feelings, my treasure. And I promise to be true to you as well. I’ll get down on one knee if you’d like.”

“What if I can’t carry a child to term? It seems that having children is important to you.”

“Is there any reason you think you won’t?”

“My mother lost many babies. I’m narrow-hipped like her. Wouldn’t you feel more confident of your chances of having children if you were married to a woman with wide, childbearing hips?”

“There are never guarantees. Look at Donna. She is not narrow-hipped and she has never conceived. I’ll take my chances with you.”

Meredith’s chin dimpled as she tried to keep her emotions in check. “I just don’t understand why me. I think we spend more time arguing than getting along.”

He squeezed her hand lightly. “I have to admit, I intentionally provoke you. I’ve courted so many women who would agree with me in hopes of gaining my favor. It was annoying. I like the way you stand up for yourself and you don’t let me have my way just because you want me to like you. Besides, I know I’m going to win
this
argument.”

“You know no such thing.”

“Of course I do,” he said reaching across with his free hand and turning her face towards his. “You let me hold your hand so I know you’re softening in your resolve.” He tightened his hold before she could pull away.

“Is that right? Maybe I just let you hold my hand because my hand is cold.”

He grinned. She was really getting flustered if that was the best argument she could manage.

“Or maybe you just let me hold it because you want to stay married to me but your stubbornness is keeping you from changing your mind.”

His lips lowered to hers, “I missed you,” he said between kisses. “Stay married to me, please.” His tongue teased her lip. “Say, yes. You know you want to.” His mouth became more demanding. “Tell me what I want to hear.”

“You don’t like women who let you have your way,” she said against his lips and felt his lips thin as he smiled.

“Just say yes.”

“I’ll think about it,” she said turning away.

Blake sat back against the seat knowing he was running out of time to tell her about Pete and Lolly.

“
It’s odd how one can have a few moments of absolute clarity when you know you are going to die,” he said, knowing she wouldn’t let a statement like that pass without explanation. “That’s when I began thinking that you would soon be a widow and I had nothing to show for my time on earth.”

“Oh, heavens, were you shot?”

Blake began by confessing he had gone south to spy and how he claimed he was looking for his long-lost sister as a cover. He told her about the Morgans – or at least the three he met and how he was arrested and the terrible tragedy and how the children saved his life. “These kids need a mother. Pete hates me; he blames me for what happened. I know the only reason he let them believe I am their uncle was because he feared for his life. He is so traumatized by what happened that he sleeps with a candle burning. He’s such a tough little kid; it breaks my heart to see him so vulnerable.”

Meredith frowned and tugged her hand away. “Is that why you want to stay married? You need a mother for those children you adopted.”

“
We
adopted.”

“Surely, it’s not legal to put my name on adoption papers without asking me.”

“I’m your husband by law. Your consent is a mere technicality.”

Meredith crossed her arms again because she knew by law women had few rights – he was right about that – but she still would’ve liked to been asked. “You didn’t answer my question. Is that why you want to stay married?”

Blake closed his eyes and sighed. “It did factor into my decision but frankly almost any woman would have worked if that was my only reason for wanting a wife. I could hire a nanny for goodness sake.”

Meredith shook her head looking out the window. “Why is it taking so long? It only took us a few minutes to get there.”

“I asked him to take the long way so I have time to tell you about Pete and Lolly.”

“What other reason?”

“What other reason did I have him take the long way?”

“You said your need for a mother for those children was only one reason.”

“Oh, of course. Companionship. I can’t tell you how many times I turned to tell you something when I was riding south. And well,” Blake cleared his throat. “There is a certain draw between us in the bedroom.”

Meredith leaned on him and placed her hand back in his. “Of course I have no one to compare you with, but that is certainly not an insignificant factor.”

“I think we’re here.”

Blake was at the door before the carriage stopped and he helped her alight. She waited in the
doorway while Blake paid the driver. “Good job not mussing up her hair, sir,” the man said with a wink.