MacRieve (Immortals After Dark) (43 page)

“A succubus . . . raped you?”

He swung a fist at the closest tree. “Doona put it like that!”

She sucked in a breath at his reaction. “Then did a succubus use her chemicals on you?”

A tight nod. “I knew it was happening, knew what she was. I thought I loved her. When she told me she was my mate, I believed her.” Had his breath begun whistling in his chest again? “I was . . . still a lad.”

“How young?”

He didn’t meet her gaze when he muttered his answer.

Nine. Dear God.
Nine?

“She had to use her strew on me. At my age, it was too . . . much. I’d feel like I was suffocating, like I was dying.” His chest had started heaving, as if he was suffocating even now. “I learned later that she could’ve killed me by drawing too deep. Mortal men barely survive a taking, and I was no’ grown. But my beast rose up to safeguard me each time.”

Chloe was dumbstruck. He’d been just a little boy.

Still avoiding her gaze, he said, “I cried the first time. And the second, and so on . . . But the praise and the gifts kept me coming back. No’ to mention her venom bond. She’d use the pain to punish me sometimes.”

Chloe’s eyes watered, but she fought not to spill tears for him, knowing he would hate that.
The male I love was abused like this.

Between harsh breaths, he continued, “At that age, Lykae are learning to control their beasts. My family and members of my clan were teaching me to, but it rose every time I lay with Ruelle, any progress undone. After four years with her, I could no’ imagine sex without my beast. It was all I knew. When it ended with Ruelle at last, I was no’ . . . right. I dinna care to lie with another until I was in my forties. By then, the mold had fixed, and I knew I would be forever twisted.”

She wanted to scream that he wasn’t twisted, that he was
hers
, and that she wanted him so badly. This was the net she hadn’t been able to see!

But she knew this was a precarious time for him. In as steady a tone as she could manage, she asked, “What happened to her? How were you freed of her venom?”

How could you ever even contemplate accepting mine?
He’d been punished with it.

When he hesitated again—as if what he was about to tell her would prove even worse—a memory tugged at Chloe’s consciousness. Hadn’t Rónan said the twins were orphaned at thirteen? Four years with Ruelle would put him at that age.

“Ruelle had barred me from this place for days, and her venom hit me hard. I was sneaking out to go to her when my mother caught me. Gods, Mam could be fierce. She and my father squired me inside, and I confessed all.” He ran his hand down his face, smearing more ash over it. “As if it was yesterday, I can remember how mystified I was by their disgust. I’d believed Ruelle was fated to me, that I was only doing as nature intended.” He glanced at Chloe, then quickly away.

MacRieve was ashamed of this to this day.

“When my parents talked about killing her, I was so confused. My da planned to set off in the morn to end Ruelle. But like I said, my mam was fierce, impulsive too. She could no’ stand the pain I was in, so she slipped away into a blizzard. She came here.”

Chloe could tell where this was leading.

“Munro, Da, and I followed, but we were too late. Ruelle was no’ alone. To my bewilderment, she had another lover. A young vampire. He slew my mother.”

“Oh, God, MacRieve, I’m so sorry.”

Staring past her, he said, “Da beheaded the vampire and Ruelle. One day later, my father followed his mate.”

She raised a tremulous hand to her forehead. She almost wished she had food in her stomach to vomit.

“On the last night of their lives, my parents must have thought me weak-willed, spineless. And I was. I got both of them killed. My mam was pregnant with a little girl.” Another drop streaked down his face. “My entire family was destroyed because of my weakness.”

“You weren’t weak! You were still a boy! Blame Ruelle,
not
yourself. That bitch
groomed
you. I wish she was still alive—so I could behead her
myself!” By the way he was looking at her eyes, she knew they were glowing with emotion. “MacRieve, you were so young.”

“Mayhap then. But in the ensuing years, I grieved Ruelle’s death nearly as much as my mother’s.” He peered hard at the ground as he rasped, “I knew it was wrong to do so, despised myself for it for so many years. Self-hatred like you canna imagine. It took me centuries, but eventually I accepted my lot in life. I’d never be right sexually. I’d never sleep with the same female twice. I’d never know a woman without the beast rising. So I just bided my time, waiting for another good war. War was comfortable for me. On the battlefield, everyone was happy to see my beast—everyone except the enemy. I was . . . managing.”

“Then you were captured by the Order,” she said in a deadened voice. “You were tortured. Vivisected.”

He didn’t ask how she knew that last part, didn’t even seem to register it. “In the prison, we were made to wear collars that robbed us of our strength. But during the breakout, all the Pravus captives had theirs removed. Five starving succubae hunted me. They were so bluidy strong.”

Chloe’s lips parted. “Did they . . . ?”
Please say no.

“Nay. Because allies helped me. But that night was like a straight blade slicing through a raised scar, resurrecting all Ruelle had done to me.”

“How did you not kill me that morning? When you scented what I was?”

He finally met her gaze. “My beast would never have let me. It had accepted you. It adores you. Goddamn it,
I
want to adore you!”

“How could you ever?”

“I’m trying to move forward, to stop living in the past. But you have to understand, I was like a puppet with Ruelle.” Again his breaths shallowed. “When I feel the effect of your strew, it unsettles me so deeply. There is no more wretched feeling than ceding your free will.”

She couldn’t hold back her tears as she said, “Then I’m harming you all over again.
I
am slicing the scar open!” And they only had one more time before he was bound to her forever. “MacRieve, I can’t keep hurting you, can’t let you take on my venom. You’re going to have to let me go.”

He fell to his knees before her, startling her. “Doona say that!” Wrapping
his arms around her waist, he buried his forehead against her chest. He clutched her hard, sending new pain cascading through her. “I know I’m wrong in the head! I want to be . . .
right.
For you.” When he nuzzled her neck, she felt more of his hot tears against her skin. “I kept this cottage standing so I would always remember what was done to my family, to me. Now I just want to forget. I thought burning it would fix me.” He shuddered against her, the movement like a jackhammer to her aching head. “Help me be right for you, Chloe.”

The pain was growing too intense, her vision dimming. “How?” she bit out. “Tell me what to do.”

“I must have control of my own mind and body. Can you no’ free me? I’ll come back to you, woman! Just free me.” He took her in his arms, now pressing her face against his chest. “I’ll want you forever.” His breaths rattled in his chest. “Just let me do it on my own.”

“I can’t free you. I don’t know how. I would!” Those impassioned words drained away her last reserves of energy. Black dots swirled at the edges of her sight. “MacRieve?”

He drew back to gaze down at her face, his eyes widening. “What’s wrong, Chloe? Have you hunger?”

“No, I-I don’t know what’s wrong. There’s pain.”

“I was too rough with you yesterday.” He laid a palm on her forehead, his jaw slackening. “You’re burning up? Does aught else hurt you?”

“My head. God, my entire body aches. My . . . bones hurt.”

Voice gone low, he said, “Do they feel like they’re slowly shattering from the inside?”

“Yes.”

“Everything hurts you so badly, you canna distinguish areas of agony. The pain in your head is blinding.”

She nodded, the slight movement bringing on a new wave of dizziness. “Please . . .” Words failed her; she went limp in his arms.

Just before her lids slid shut, she saw the building’s walls collapse in an eruption of flames. A blast of searing air shot over them.

The cottage was no more.

FORTY-FIVE

Will leapt to his feet, Chloe unconscious in his arms, and gave a sharp howl. “No, no! Chloe, stay with me!” Nothing.

His beast was rising, along with Will’s panic.

—
Protect.
— “I want to protect!” he bellowed to no one. He well remembered the symptoms of venom. Why the hell would
she
have them?

All he knew was that this was somehow his fault.

The witches could help her. Surely. He just had to get Chloe to them. But what if she worsened on the long flight back? Not to mention that mated Lykae did not fly under a full moon. Fuck!

Worry stabbing at him, he whipped around, about to sprint to the keep—

Two succubae were standing not twenty feet away. The pair he’d seen outside the wall at Glenrial.

“Where the bluidy hell did you come from?” One looked to be in her mid-twenties, the other in her late teens. The younger one wore a sword at her hip.

His first impulse was to ward these two away from Chloe. He hated succubae—but he was frantic to heal his mate.

The older one said, “I’m Gisela, Chloe’s aunt. Her mother was my sister. This is my daughter, Nieve.”

Chloe had family besides Webb? She’d never spoken about her mother much. Not that he’d asked about Fiore—because Will hadn’t wanted to be reminded of where Chloe got her succubus nature from.

All he knew was that Fiore had died when Chloe was still a baby.

He turned to Gisela, who at least looked sympathetic. Her daughter was presently slitting her eyes at Will. Was that succubus actually carrying a
weapon
? “Chloe’s taken ill.” Between gritted teeth, he said, “Do you . . . can you help me?”

Gisela said, “She’s very sick, MacRieve.”

“How do you know my name?”

“All the Ubus peoples know of you and your brother, of the Woods of Murk.” Just as he was about to ask how, she added, “And, I have to admit, I listened to what you told Chloe. I did not know Ruelle, but you have my sincerest apologies in any case.”

And pity—he could see it in her eyes! Fury raged inside him. “I doona want your goddamned pity!” With Chloe secure in one arm, he lashed out uncontrollably, slashing at a tree. “I want my mate well!”

Nieve murmured to her mother, “Didn’t I say he was crazed?”

Gisela told Will, “She needs to come with us, her family. We might be able to heal her.”

“Go with you? You must be bluidy daft! I will never let this creature out of my sight. Do you understand me? Never!”

Nieve said, “Do you want our help or do you want her to perish in your arms?”

“Perish?”
I canna lose her!
“She’s immortal now. She canna.”

Gisela said sadly, “I believe Chloe’s dying.”

He chuffed with fear.
My little mate . . .
“What will you do?”

“Take her to my home in the Ubus Realm. I’m a healer, and I have medicine there. Our portal lies just over there.” She pointed to an area that looked like the rest of the forest.

But now he could scent a difference. The door to that plane was in his fucking forest?

It made sense—that’s where Ruelle had come from.

And this pair expected him to allow his mate to travel through that same portal? He’d heard that men who went to the Ubus Realm did not return.

The least of his worries. Could he trust these females with Chloe?

“MacRieve, I have a good idea of what’s happened to her.” Gisela held out her arms. “Give her to me, and I vow to the Lore that I will do everything in my power to save her.”

An unbreakable vow.

“There’s not much time,” she continued. “If I’m right, then she’ll sicken further with each moment we delay. I need my tools to diagnose her.”

“Lykae are stubborn, ignorant creatures,” Nieve said coldly. “He won’t do what’s necessary to save her.”

Will gazed down at Chloe. She had her wee hand pressed against his chest. Right over his heart. “Why must I give her to you?”

“Our portal guardians will not let you through on the night of a full moon, especially not in your condition”—
shirtless, burned, wild-eyed, a heartbeat from turning?
—“not unless we have some surety that you won’t harm others. Chloe is that surety. You must entrust her to me.”

—
Trust.
— his Instinct advised. But his history told him he should be running with Chloe.

The Instinct won. Will shuddered when he handed her over, wolven sounds erupting from his throat as he and his beast reacted.

Gisela clasped Chloe tightly, maternally. With a glare at Will, Nieve stepped through the portal, her mother behind her.

Though he might never return to his home again, Will was right on their heels, striding through without hesitation.

Where your mate goes, you follow. . . .