Mad Worlds Collide (10 page)

--Polygamist, John Crotch --1845

"After hundreds united in prayer for rain to end a four month drought in Shaturia, Bangadesh, water came on April 26, 1989. Unfortunately, it was brought by a tornado that created winds up to 120 MPH, leaving around 1,300 dead and at least 30,000 homeless."

--Guinness Book of World Records 1997

Hollywood movies show a glamorous Japan; families living in traditional homes, green gardens filled with carefully cut miniature bonsai trees, bedrooms decorated in rich flower patterns with rice paper sliding doors, and women wearing silk kimonos. The wives gladly bring husbands their slippers when they arrive home from a hard day at work. They never complain about money or question the late hour of arrival. The men are sharply dressed, and in personal and business matters act like samurai warriors who own the town. 

But things changed after the economic bubble got blown to shit in the lost 90’s. Japan looked as if it had fixed things in 2005 and another bubble came, but that bubble also popped in a massive banking crash in 2015.  The money had never been in the banks anyway.  Instead it had flowed directly into losses on corrupt business deals.  When everyone figured it out, they made a run on the banks.

With modernization and a loss of an economic empire, life changed.  The Japanese now lived in electronically wired tin cans; apartments designed by the same people who designed miniature golf courses.  These new architects shrunk everything into a home that was five times smaller. An American housewife teaching English in Japan described her government-issued apartment, "It’s been over 30 years since I played "house"; everything is so small."

The sword-carrying Samurais now carried small electronic planners and WebLink cell phones.  They were called "salarymen", a Japanese attempt at English, meaning "white-collar worker".  Because of the recession some received no salary but still dressed in suits, looking for work. They could be spotted at cheap coffee shops smoking cigarettes, or singing songs in Karaoke bars while drinking cheap whiskey. Many songs were about the good old days. When they found their way home, it was usually after the bar had closed after midnight. The wife usually allowed them the privilege to sleep in the guestroom on a futon mattress, which was on the floor next to the kitchen since most people could now only afford homes that were just one room
.

Robert Davichi arrived in Japan as an "Expat", defined as one fortunate enough to get a company paid apartment costing $15,000 per month not including parking fees. It was half the house he’d had in Seattle. Robert’s new neighbor, Shinnichi Yamaguchi was the apartment complex manager. "Yama-san", as he was called, managed three apartments for his father "Mickey-san". Yama-san took this job rather than working in the family owned construction business.

Yama-san’s dad, Mickey, was rich, controlling a few Japanese banks.  Mickey-san had received over 50 million dollars in loans during the Japanese bubble and only paid the interest because business was bad in Japan. The banks would not foreclose because it was too embarrassing, plus Mickey was in the Japanese Mafia and a friend in the ruling political party.  Mickey could make bank officers squeal like pigs. Mickey’s real name was Seichi, but because of his large ears an American business friend called Rick gave him the nickname Mickey. Seichi liked the new name. Encouraged by Rick, Mickey built expat apartments called GreenHills for rich foreign businessmen. Business at GreenHills was the only profitable part of the Yama-Guchi partner’s construction business. The only other profitable business was not listed on the Yamaguchi partners tax returns -- that business was hostess, S&M and sex clubs. Yama-san, was not introduced to that part of the business as father Mickey kept these activities secret, especially to family members (or so he thought).

Robert went to Yama-san’s apartment on time as instructed. Robert knew to be on time as the Japanese took lateness poorly.

Yama-san’s apartment complex was on a hill in Hiro-o, an area of Tokyo where many rich foreigners lived. The complex had only four well-to-do families.

Besides Yama-san’s family there was a German Drug company President named Mr.FlukenFieffer of John&JohnsonBayer (JJB).  Mr. FlukenFieffer had lived in America for ten years as a branch president of JJB before coming to Tokyo. He was proud of his command of English but many said his command of business was not so good.  The JJB business started to fall soon after Guilianni Labs came out with Barnacle Bill. Even before its official use as a sex drug, Barnacle Bill competed with JJB’s main product, VigraBullÔ. Mr.FlukenFieffer once told reporters that Barnacle Bill needed more testing because of the possible side effects disclosed by the FDA. Mr.FlukenFieffer himself secretly used Barnacle BillÔ.

Also at GreenHills was the famous John Mach Jr., President of MorganStockmanDeanWickerAmericanExpress Japan—or now shortened to MorExpress Japan. People who bought MorExpress stock during the bubble now called the company "Morgan Stock down the DeanWicker Express." 

Robert’s new apartment was on the second floor with Yama-san. Even though there were only two floors there was an elevator, which Robert naturally used instead of the stairs.

The elevator doors opened on the second floor at the same time a woman’s voice spoke from inside the elevator, "Welcome to GreenHills Floor two. Please do not forget anything." Robert proceeded to the left, toward apartment 4. On the front of the door was a sign that said "Peace on Earth".  Above the sign was the name "Yama" with a kanji character that looked like "山". Robert knew this meant mountain.

Robert rang the doorbell.

A tall slender gentleman opened the door. He was wearing a blue polo shirt and brown shorts. He had a suntan. "Mr. Davichi?" the man said. "Yes, that’s me, but please call me Robert."  Robert put out his hand and shook Yama-san’s hand.

Yama-san smiled with pearl white teeth that contrasted with his dark suntan.  "Sure Robert -- please come in. It’s nice to meet you. Please call me "Shun", it’s short for Shunnichi, and please take your backpack off and rest."  He spoke English with only a slight accent.

Robert entered into a large bright living room.  Plants hung from a glass sunroof; the room reminded Robert of an elegant greenhouse. The second floor was on a small grassy hill, and outside Robert could see a small flower garden filled with red and purple tulips. Through a small opening cut out of a door to the outside came a small brown and black speckled Yorkshire terrier. It ran toward Robert, then started to bark in a mad fit. Robert thought the dog cute, but small, about half the size of a most cats found in Seattle. Robert disliked cats, and they did not prosper at Davichi home: one in the washer, and one the kids had seen Buddy playfully pulling and shaking as though it were a stuffed toy.  Upon closer inspection by Susan, it had been discovered to be the neighbors’ cat, dead. Susan had passed out while Robert had buried the cat. From then on Robert had not allowed cats in the Davichi home.

"Shush my little Yuki-chan, shush." Shun looked at Robert. "Please excuse little Yuki-chan, she does not get many guests.  She’s my mother-in-law’s dog and we’re watching her while my mother-in-law is on holiday in Hawaii."

"Well, she’s cute, " said Robert.

Shun bent over, looked over his shoulder, then approached Robert’s ear and whispered, "I hate my mother-in-law, and small dogs, but I put up with both because I love my wife."

Shun smiled.

Robert interrupted, "I’ve heard nice things about you from our VP, John Giddon."

John Giddon had stayed at Green Hills but got sent back to the US. John’s wife had left after three months, saying that if he did not join her she was getting divorced. John obliged and Gill fired John one week later stating that John was not a "company man". John Giddon’s wife divorced John shortly afterwards for "reasons of financial incompatibility". 

Shun walked toward a black leather couch and sat down. "Oh, John is being too kind.  I know I caused him a little trouble. I have too much time on my hands and used to go drinking with John after work.  Please take a seat, and by the way, here is the key for your apartment." Shun handed over a key to Robert.

A little trouble, thought Robert, the guy got fucking divorced and lost his job—but that was not Shun’s fault, was it?

Shun let Yuki-chan go, and the dog ran to a water bowel. "Robert, where is your wife?"

"Oh, we had some trouble with the flight yesterday.  She was at the Hotel resting but should be here soon."

Robert looked at a painting of what appeared to be a traditionally dressed Japanese samurai man and kimono dressed woman screwing, but the act was delicately hidden. "We rented a van service to take all the stuff and our dog Buddy.  I came first because the van was packed."

"Do you like the painting Robert?" asked Shun.

"Interesting, it has great colors and really catches the eye.  It took time to figure out what was really going on."

"That’s just like Japan, Robert.  There’s a whole bunch like this in your fancy American Club, but few foreigners notice the real picture.  You have a good eye."

"I’m not sure about that.  These eyes are getting  tired from at looking at computer screens."

"Hey!  How ‘bout a beer, mixed drink or maybe you’d like Japanese green tea?"

"I would love a hot tea."

Shun raised his voice toward his kitchen. "Akiko, we have guests.  Could you please bring us some tea?"

"Sure honey," answered a woman’s voice from the kitchen.

"You speak English to your wife?" asked Robert.

"Sure.  We met in San Diego, she is a second generation Japanese, called a "nissei". She’s American.

"Oh, that’s nice. How does she like Japan?"

A woman dressed in jeans and a red silk shirt entered the room with a tray of tea. "I like Japan, it’s safer than New York and my father and Shun-chan started a business together.  This way if he screws up my Dad will kill him." Akiko smiled at Shun.

"Pretty American women are like beautiful roses with thorns.  You want to touch and smell them, but you need to be careful."

Robert kept quiet, not knowing what to say. Both Akiko and her husband burst out in laughter. Robert smiled.

"Relax Robert, we give each other a hard time for fun.  I always say you need to laugh as you never know when you will get hit by your wife or by life."

The small Yorkshire terrier jumped onto Robert’s lap. Robert petted the dog. "I agree. I feel like I got hit by life the on the way over."

"We heard," said Shun sipping his tea. "Do you think this AD2100 software will actually work for Japan?"

Robert sipped his tea. He liked the feel of the green hand painted teacup. The tea was warm and slightly bitter but he knew it was packed full of caffeine. The small sweet cake washed down with the tea made the experience tolerable, even enjoyable.

"I organized the development of the AD2100 software, and it’s the best software our team has ever produced. We have a problem with a sophisticated hacker.  Once we get him our problems will be over."

"Robert-san, what will you do if you get this guy and another hacker gets in?" asked Akiko.

A doorbell chimed. "It must be Susan," replied Robert. Akiko went to the door and checked the peephole; it was a woman so she opened the door.  Before she could introduce herself Buddy ran to Robert. Although attached to a collar and rope held by Susan, he ran with full force toward the couch, pulling Susan off balance and onto the floor. Buddy ran to Robert wagging his tail, jumped onto the couch and started to lick Robert’ s face.

"Buddy you bad dog, get off the couch!" Robert struggled to push Buddy back onto the floor. "Susan are you OK?" asked Robert pushing Buddy.

Little Yuki ran to Shun and hid under his arm, barking at Buddy. Buddy ignored Yuki.

Susan got up with the help of Akiko. "I’m fine, I am so embarrassed." Susan looked at Akiko,  "I’m Robert’s wife and I’ll get our dog out of here.  I came for the apartment key." 

"No, it’s fine." Shun smiled, got up from the couch and walked over to Susan. "I love big dogs but they can be troublesome, just like life."  Shun put out his hand. "My name is Shun, it’s a pleasure to meet you.  Please sit and rest for a bit.  You must be tired."

Shun’s calm handshake and voice relaxed Susan. "Thanks, I’m more than tired, the trip was tough." Susan walked over to couch section away from Buddy and Robert.

"Would you like a mixed drink or some tea?" asked Akiko.

"I’d love a gin and tonic if you can make one," asked Susan.

"Sure, said Akiko, walking into the kitchen."

"Your dog’s name is Buddy?" asked Shun to Susan.

"Yes, " replied Susan.

Buddy stopped licking Robert. Robert pushed Buddy onto the floor. "I am sorry Shun, Buddy is kind of an active dog."

"Buddy is very active," said Susan. "I fed him two sleeping pills at the airport, but he barked all the way to Tokyo."

Buddy and Yuki sniffed and then licked each other. Shun smiled. "Seems like little Yuki has make a friend." Buddy ran behind the couch and sat on a rug near a hot fireplace. Yuki ran over with a stuffed toy. Next to Buddy she looked like a small Bull Mastiff puppy, her body smaller than Buddy’s head. She barked at Buddy, wanting to play. Buddy obliged and stood up, somewhat groggy, and pulled the toy with Yuki, playfully pulling and growling at the small stuffed mouse in a tug of war.

"Hey honey, looks like Buddy has found a friend." Robert sheepishly smiled at Susan.

"Well, it looks like the sleeping pills are finally working -- two hours late."

"Here’s your drink," said Akiko, coming from the kitchen. Susan accepted the drink and sipped a good third of the glass in one helping.

"You should not drug dogs like that, it is not good for them.  A little love and care and they will be quiet if properly trained," said Shun.

Susan looked at Shun who seemed extremely calm. "Can you train
our
dog?"

"No, but I know a good dog sensei who can help. I will give you his card."