Madness (20 page)

She reached into the valise now and found a ribbon to tie back her unruly mane of red hair. Then she put on an apron over her bare bosom, and started to lay out some food for him. “I can see from the tray they’ve already brought supper. I suppose you ate some of it.”

He shook his head. “No, you said you were going to put your plan into action today. I just had no idea you were going to trick your way into the cell itself. Have you any idea how dangerous this could be? If the guard catches you—”

Yet even as Simon was trying to convince her to leave quickly, his rare golden eyes were feasting on the sight of her.

“He’s only human, and Angela and the others are going to keep him too busy to worry about you. As for my friend Clarissa, whom you just met, she is going to look after my sister and bring fresh supplies every day.”

“I don’t follow. Fresh supplies? Why won’t you be bringing them yourself?”

She unfurled a clean fresh sheet with a smile. “Because I’m going to be staying here in Bedlam with you, of course. Here in this cell.”

 
In the silence that followed Gabrielle's statement, one could have heard a pin drop.

“
What
did you say?” he wheezed.

“I said, dear, I’m locked in here with you until I say you’re cured," she replied in a brisk tone which belied her nervousness over being alone with someone so overwhelming male.
 
"I’m guessing we’ll need at least a fortnight to wean you off the opium, and another fortnight to build up your strength with a view to getting you out of here. So I shall be staying with you, and together we shall make the best of things.”

“Have you gone mad?” he almost bellowed.

She smiled at his poor choice of words. “Apparently. This is Bedlam, after all.”

“You can’t possibly stay here with me. It’s unthinkable!” he rasped, running his fingers through his lush dark hair as he paced up and down in front of her in the narrow confines of the cell.

“Apparently not. I did think about it, and here I am.”

He shook his head. “Have you got any idea what conditions are like in here?”

She quirked one brow at him. “I have a pretty good idea. Very unpleasant, dank, cold, vermin-infested. Which is why I brought all sorts of things to improve our circumstances—”

“Gabrielle, this is a madhouse! How much do you think it’s going to
improve
?” he argued, overwhelmed by her offer, and feeling so jittery he could barely sit or stand.

“But we’re here together, and that’s all that—”

“No, it’s
not
. Where are you going to sleep?”

She lifted her chin. “With you, of course.”

He backed away from her in the confined space. “Oh no, it’s out of the—”

“We’ve done it before,” she said calmly.

“Aye, and I nearly rutted with you on the floor like a beast!” he rasped, shaking his head at the recollection of how close he had come to robbing her of her virginity that fateful first night together.

“We would have become lovers if you hadn’t been so damned noble," she said with a rueful smile as she began unpacking more of her supplies.
 
"I wanted you so much. I've barely been able to think about anything else ever since. You were right, that one night changed everything for—”

He thumped his head with the heel of his hand in despair. “It never should have tiddled you that night. You were supposed to forget all about me and get on with your life—”

“I want you more than anything I’ve ever—” She caught his despairing look and clamped her mouth shut.

This was
 
clearly too much for him to take in at once. She needed to calm him down, and discussing their mutual feelings was clearly not the best way of accomplishing that.

So she busied herself around the cell unpacking the food, which she set on the bed, and then her cleaning items. While he ate, she set to work making the place more habitable.

When she could trust herself to speak again she said, “I want you to get better, Simon. I want to give you hope. And I’m not afraid of, well, this strange connection between us. You said to me once that I would hate you, look at you with mistrust and fear. Tell me if you see that in my face now. If you do, then I’ll leave, just as you’ve asked.

“If you don’t see it, then you’ll let me stay here just as I’ve planned. You’ll let me nurse you back to health and well, we’ll become lovers simply because we can’t help ourselves. Because we don’t even want to stop the fire inside. So look into my eyes, Simon, and tell me what you see. Am I staying or going? Look hard.”

 
Gabrielle let her unusual blue-green eyes reflect all her true longings. She recalled the urgent moment when he had almost possessed her, and it was enough to make her breath tremble in her lungs and her eyes go lambently moist.

She gazed up at him, longing to caress his lean hard cheekbone, to soften his frown. Meet his lush, sensual lips with her own. Feel the light scrape of his beard as he ran it all along her—

He pulled her into his arms with a groan of pure raw passion. “God, I ought to send you away,” he said in an agonised whisper, “but I just can’t. Oh Gabrielle...”

He kissed her throat and shoulders heatedly for a moment, then pulled back, trembling almost feverishly. “This truly is madness. I’ve been as libinous as the next chap, but this is beyond anything... All I have to do I touch your hand and I nearly lose control of my entire body.” He shook his head. “I can’t let you do this.”

“You can’t break your addiction on your own.”

“Please, you must leave. Guard! Guard--”

She clamped her hand over his mouth quickly. “Simon, this is your only chance. Please, just let me do things my way until I can get someone to help me get you out of here.”

“Have you any idea what I’m going to be like in a few more hours without the drug?” he rasped.

She nodded bravely, and stepped away to resume organizing her supplies. “My cousin the doctor told me everything I need to know. I've brought everything I can to help. Please, you need to trust me. This might be your last chance, your only chance, to ever break free of the addiction. Now come on, get yourself settled. The girls won’t be able to keep Spence busy forever, and someone else might arrive. What time is the food served?”

“Eight and six.”

“Fine. We ought not to be disturbed until tomorrow morning. Let’s get you and this cell cleaned up first, and see if we can’t make the best of this.”

“There is no best of this!” he insisted, feeling at his wit's end. “It’s just going to get worse and worse. Until someone comes to help you tomorrow morning, there’s just going to be you, me, the cot and these four walls. And I’ve, well, I’ve never lived with a woman before. Never been married or anything even remotely domestic," he admitted with a sigh.

She stared at him, please at the admission, but wondering why he looked so worried.

"This is far too intimate, do you understand? You’re going to hate me by the time this is over. I mean, the chamberpot, and anything else despicable I might end up doing, let alone grope you. I'm talking about nausea, stomach cramps, the illness, the ravings due to my addiction. I’m mad, insane, remember?”

She stiffened slightly, but continued to lay out her supplies in preparation what was to come, ignoring all of his protests. “I work in a clinic, Simon. I've seen all manner of bodily functions. I’m a virgin, but no fool. I’m prepared for anything that might happen. I’ve brought plenty of tooth power. We have food and water, clean sheets and blankets, clothes. I have the laudanum on the other side of the wall with Clarissa just in case you really can’t bear this.

“And you’re not mad. Or no more so than any of the rest of us would be after being locked up here for so long and left to rot. I know we can do it. I believe in you, Simon. I know you want to get well. If we can get through the next month, there’s a good-”

His jaw dropped. “A month! It’s bad enough thinking of you here overnight!”

“A month," she repeated firmly. "You’ve been an addict for so long, I would have to guess it will take at least that long. I have books, some candles and a tinder box. We can make our own little heaven right here.”

He snorted in derision. “And folks say
I’m
mad! Have you got any idea what will happen to you when they find out— And your cousin will go wild and cut off my cullions for sure!”

She shook her head. “It has nothing to do with any of my famiy.
 
This is my choice.
Mine
, Simon.”

“Well it’s not bloody mine, Gabrielle!” he hissed, pacing up and down in front his cot and running his fingers through his hair.

“I'm sorry you don't agree with my methods, but the fact is that I got in here, didn't I? So now that I have, we need to make the most of this chance.
 
If we have any hope of trying to get our friend Alistair Grant to look into what happened to you, why you’re here, we need to have you temperate and coherent. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I speak English, and even know what day of the week it is,” he snapped.

She tossed her head. “You see, you’ve improved already since I met you.”

He rubbed the back of his neck as though it ached. “God, woman, you have easily got to be the most exasperating female…”

She gave him a bold smile. “Fine, you can mutter at me all you like. Or is that
futter
. So long as you let me stay.”

His golden eyes flashed fire. “
Mon Dieu
! You are a most bold wench. If I didn’t know better I’d say you really were a piece of Haymarket ware.”

She flipped her long fall of auburn hair back over one shoulder, thrust her breasts at him and said with a cheeky grin, “I’m certainly cheap enough, since you’re getting my services for free.”

“Do you have to use that word?” he gritted out.

“My ministrations then?”

He groaned. “Somehow that’s worse.”

She smiled and smoothed the apron down over her curves, hoping, albeit unfairly, that they would help win her argument for her in the end. “Please, just calm yourself, Simon. Nothing is going to happen, I give you my word. Nothing bad, anyway. Now come, let’s get you freshened up, and this place habitable. Look, fresh water,” she said, pointing at the large jugs that each woman had brought slung on their backs, pretending they were ale for the better class of client. "Drink up, and then we'll get started on this place in earnest."

She pressed a cup into his hands, and then began to tug off the musty sheets of the cot. "Sit here and we'll get you cleaned up next."