Maid to Love (Man Maid Book 3) (4 page)

With Ian.

 
 * * *

 The following Monday, Courtney was extremely tired. She just didn’t feel well. She called and made an appointment with Dr. Franklin for the next day. April Franklin was a friend of Courtney’s from college who, after finishing her internship, had returned to the Dayton area to set up her own reproductive-specialist practice. After talking to April and scheduling the appointment, Courtney called Jess to invite her along since they would be doing another ultrasound.

“I have a double shift tomorrow or I would. Text me when you are done, though, and let me know what they say,” Jess said. “You know…you
could
invite Ian. I’m betting he would be thrilled to hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound. It might be the push he needs to enroll in some classes.”

Somehow it felt right to invite him. Getting up the guts to call him was a different story. What if he didn’t want to go or had lost enthusiasm…. How awkward would that be?

Forcing away the negative thoughts, she picked up her cell phone.

“Let me guess. You need an ice cream date?” Ian asked upon answering. “You are killing my weigh-ins,” he finished with a laugh.

“No. Actually I don’t crave anything, not since the last class anyway. No morning sickness, either. Actually, I, um, I have my checkup tomorrow, and I thought you might want to come along to hear the heartbeat and see the ultrasound,” she said, slightly breathless from nerves.

“I’d love to. What time? I’ll pick you up,” he said.

She gave him the appointment time and hung up. The excitement was still in his voice and it made her smile. As poorly as she felt now, not having to drive tomorrow would be a bonus. Not to mention she felt eager to spend time with Ian again—even though she’d just seen him two days ago

.Such a weird—but nice—feeling.

Chapter Four

When Ian arrived at Courtney’s to pick her up, she met him at the door with her purse in hand. Unlike at the cookout where she’d been all smiles and laughter, now she looked pale and worried. As he led her down the front walk he noticed she was gripping her stomach and appeared to be in pain. He opened the passenger door for her, and she gently sat down in the front seat without any arguments. After he got in the driver’s side and started the car he glanced over at her in time to see her wince.

“You okay?” he asked as he put the car in drive.

“I’m not sure. I’m cramping really bad. I called April and she said to come in to the office, since I already have an appointment scheduled.”

Having spent the majority of the morning surfing Rusty’s computer for videos of ultrasounds and articles about what to expect at this checkup appointment, he had come prepared rather than full of questions. Where minutes ago he’d been excited about the idea of seeing the baby before it was born, now his stomach was in knots. He was used to seeing Courtney shy and smiling or shy and laughing. Now she sat stoically beside him with a worried look on her face.

By the time they arrived at the doctor’s office he was sick with worry. He parked as close to the door as possible and helped her out and into the waiting room. The receptionist behind the desk took one look at Courtney and ushered them through a doorway leading to the exam rooms. Based on the look on the receptionist’s face and the fact that they hadn’t had to wait at all, this wasn’t a normal checkup.

That notion was confirmed when a nurse handed him what looked like a gown and a sheet. “Here, Dad, help Mom put this on while I go find Dr. Franklin.”

The nurse nearly pushed them into an examination room and then closed the door on his protests. Turning to face Courtney, he noticed that she no longer looked like she cared that he was even there. After the first wave of panic seized him, he took a breath. “Okay, let’s get this on you and get you on the exam table so the doctor can figure out what is wrong.”

Instead of allowing her to argue with him, he took her purse and sat it on a nearby chair. Then he spread out the gown on the exam table and unfolded the blanket and held it up as a barrier between them, giving her some privacy. He turned his head and looked down as she carefully shrugged out of her clothes. Once she was in the examination gown and sitting on the exam table, he wrapped the blanket around her.

Looking up at him through her tears, she said, “I’m so scared, Ian. Something’s wrong. I know it.”

Just as he walked toward the door to go in search of the doctor, a woman in a white coat stepped inside. She eyed him carefully and then looked at Courtney. His relief, that someone was there to fix whatever was wrong, was palpable.

“I felt really tired and weak yesterday, and today I started cramping. Right before we came here I started spotting, too,” Courtney explained in a rush. “Something’s wrong, April.”

“Well, lie back and let’s take a look,” the doctor replied.

A nurse came in with a machine and took Courtney’s blood pressure, pulse rate and temperature while the doctor pulled out a fetal heart-rate monitor. The device looked different from the ones Ian had seen on the internet, but he recognized it for what it was. Standing in the corner, he felt helpless. He recognized the same look on Courtney’s face. Instinct had him moving around to the other side of the exam table so he could stand closer to her.

Courtney surprised him when she reached out for him. He held her tiny hand in his as the doctor ran the monitor over her stomach. The room quieted as the doctor continued to search with the device. She looked to the nurse. Courtney clutched his one hand, and he used the other to rub her arm in an effort to comfort her. As nervous and scared as he felt, he couldn’t imagine what she must be feeling.

“I need to do a pelvic exam, Courtney. Do you want him to wait outside?” the doctor asked.

Courtney shook her head no and gripped his hand tighter as more tears slid down her cheeks. He pulled a couple of tissues out of a box on the counter and handed them to her. The doctor pulled another blanket out of a drawer at the end of the table and draped it across Courtney’s stomach and thighs and then placed her feet in stirrups.

Leaning close to Courtney’s face, he rested his forehead on her cheek. “We’ll get through this. I’m here.”

Again Courtney surprised him by turning to him, seeking comfort. He gently cupped her face in his hand and held her as best as he could. After a hushed conversation between the nurse and the doctor, the nurse turned the ultrasound monitor away from them.

“I’m so sorry, Courtney. I cannot detect a heartbeat and your cervix is dilated. The ultrasound shows that you…miscarried,” the doctor said quietly. “I’ll give you a few minutes and then I’ll be back in to talk to you.”

After the doctor left the room, the nurse laid her hand on Courtney’s shoulder. As hard as it was, he forced himself to look at Courtney. When her tear-filled blue eyes met his, she let out a cry, and the next thing he knew he was half holding her as she sobbed into his shoulder. The nurse quietly slipped out, leaving them alone.

This wasn’t supposed to happen. The little guy was supposed to be the size of Courtney’s finger. He had a crib now, and his room was painted. They had gone to classes to learn about his development. What had gone wrong?

“I did everything I was supposed to. How could this happen?” she whispered between sobs. “I failed him….”

“No, you didn’t. Sometimes things just happen and there is no bad guy, no one to blame. This is one of those things that is no one’s fault. There’s nothing you could have done. It’s okay to be sad about it. I am and I didn’t even know him as well as you did. You can cry. I’m here,” he said into her hair.

“Your friend is right,” the doctor said as she reentered the room. “It’s not as uncommon as you might think to miscarry, especially during a first pregnancy at your age. Unfortunately, in your case, you’ll need to go to the hospital to have a procedure done. Do you have someone to take you? Or I can call for a transport ambulance.”

“I’ll take her,” Ian said, holding Courtney’s head in the crook of his arm and attempting to keep it together himself.

“When you’re ready, pull around to the back of the building, and we’ll help get her out to your car. Take her to the emergency room. I’ve called ahead and they are expecting her. I have three more patients to see and then I will be there, okay, Courtney? The hospital will get you prepped for the procedure while I finish up here.” Courtney nodded and the doctor continued, “They’ll put you to sleep, and when you wake up most of the bleeding and cramping should be over. I’ll send the nurse in to help you.”

Courtney finally released her hold on him so he handed the box of tissues to her. Though he hated leaving her alone when she was so upset he followed another nurse down the hall to a side exit so he would know which door to pull around to.

The door closed behind him and he looked up at the sky in a silent plea for strength. Why had this happened to someone who had already been through so much in her life? Sure he’d had a rough life, too, but he was used to it. He was a fighter. Courtney was fragile. And she deserved the happiness the little guy would have given her.

He couldn’t believe the little guy was gone…just like that.
Gone
.

It wasn’t like Courtney had offered to let him hang around on a regular basis to experience the whole thing…her stomach getting bigger, the baby kicking and moving or even the birth, but his heart felt heavy just the same.

After getting in the car, he left a voicemail for Jess and then drove around to the side entrance.

Crazy as it was, once he’d found out that Courtney was in this thing alone, a part of him had felt responsible for the little guy. He wasn’t exactly a family man or Mr. Responsibility, by any means, but his budding friendship with Courtney had made him hope he would get to be in this kid’s life, too.

Ronnie had a teenage stepdaughter, and he was involved in her life. Seth’s stepson, Zach, was awesome and Ian adored him. Honestly, Ian was a little jealous of both Seth and Ronnie. They had kids, a family—even Rusty had a sister out West he visited from time to time. Ian had an alcoholic mother and a father who had been MIA for most of his life.

Some weird part of him had wanted Courtney to let him act as a fill-in father, once she got to know him better. He’d gone to fetal-development classes, fed Courtney his dinner and a couple of rounds of ice cream, put together a crib and painted a nursery—he’d been trying to prove himself.

It had been a stupid idea, anyway, and now an impossible one.

The nurse instructed him to drive carefully after she helped Courtney into the car. Halfway to the hospital, he took her hand in his and she let him. She cried off and on for the entire trip, and though he knew he couldn’t fix the pain she was feeling it didn’t stop him from wishing he could do something for her.

Once Courtney was settled in an exam room, a nurse started an IV and Courtney eventually relaxed and fell asleep. By the time they came to move her to the room where they would do the procedure, Dr. Franklin had shown up. Knowing that there was nothing more he could do, he released Courtney’s hand and tucked it under the blanket before standing up.

“Will you be around to take her home and stay with her this evening? The procedure will take about half an hour or so and then she’ll be in recovery for another hour or two afterward.”

“Yeah. I’ll make sure she gets home and stay with her. At least until her friend Jess gets off work,” he replied.

“She can take over-the-counter pain relievers as needed,” Dr. Franklin said hesitantly. “I’m sorry. We didn’t have time for introductions before. You are?”

“I’m Ian, a friend of Courtney’s.” He held his hand out to Dr. Franklin. She smiled and shook his hand but the hesitation in her eyes asked what her words didn’t. “I’ve only known Courtney a couple of weeks, but she let me go to fetal-development classes with her, and I fed her ice cream, and painted the little guy’s room…the nursery, I mean.”

The doctor nodded. “The physical pain won’t last long, but the emotional pain is often much worse. She’ll need lots of support to get through this.” She smiled and then walked away.

The conversation he’d had with Jess about Courtney’s past came to mind. Whatever issues she seemed to have with men somehow didn’t extend to him, and he preferred it that way. He would apply those same rules to the devastation she was going through right now and be as good a friend to her as he could be.

An hour later, a nurse led him back to the recovery area. She gave him a bunch of papers about what to expect during the recovery process and then left them alone. Courtney looked tired and sad. He just wanted to hold her, but instead she lay there with her head turned away from him, and he sat next to her in silence.

By the time he got her home and settled in, the silence was killing him. Knowing she would likely be asleep when Jess arrived, he knew it was now or never.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Courtney. I can’t pretend to know how you feel. As sad as I am about losing him, I know it’s even worse for you. You have my number. If you need
anything
, anything at all—please call me,” he said as he tucked her into bed after giving her a pain pill.

“I don’t even know if he was a boy,” she said quietly and then rolled away from him.

After he was pretty sure she had fallen asleep, he left her room and headed downstairs to wait for Jess. Searching the paperwork from the hospital he found Dr. Franklin’s business card with her cell phone number on the back. He dialed the number without a thought.

“Dr. Franklin? This is Ian Hamilton, Courtney Wells’s friend from today. I just wondered if you knew if…if the baby was a boy or a girl?” he choked out, no longer caring how stupid he probably sounded.

“Unfortunately the fetus wasn’t viable. It had stopped developing,” she said. “So, I’m sorry, but no, I cannot definitively tell you the gender.”

“I just always called him a boy and I thought maybe…”

“These questions are normal and very likely all the things you are feeling, thinking and wondering are similar to what Courtney is feeling. I’ve known her for years, and she can be pretty closed off. So, as her friend, if she’s willing to talk to you about it, I would ask that you listen. Sometimes sharing with other people is hard for her. I imagine that because of her profession she thinks others expect her to handle emotions, life, better than someone who doesn’t have a degree in feelings.”

After hanging up with the doctor he sat down on the couch to wait for Jess. He was tired. The emotional roller coaster today had left him completely drained. When Jess arrived he gave her a rundown of the events of the day and when he finished, he was surprised when Jess hugged him.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“For being just what she needed today.” She smiled at him before lightly punching him on the arm. “I have to work again tomorrow, and I don’t think she should be alone right now. My apartment doesn’t really need to be cleaned
again
, so how about if I pimp you out to my friend instead?”

Seeing his puzzled look, Jess continued, “The fact that she went through all that with you—right there—speaks volumes. The disappointment I can see all over your face tells me that you are much more suited for helping her right now than I am.”

“What in the hell are you talking about? You have slipped over the line into full-blown crazy, haven’t you? I’m a guy! How do you figure I’d be better at helping her right now?” he asked in disbelief.

“I don’t want kids, at least not biologically, and definitely not anytime soon. You love kids and do well with them, and they love you in return. Courtney bonded with you over this pregnancy because you were just as excited about it as she was. I never had her level of enthusiasm about pregnancy, childbirth, infants…” Jess explained. “I can’t even pretend to know what she’s going through right now, but you…you’re experiencing it yourself. Maybe not the same way as she is, but I can see it really bothers you. Stick around and keep an eye on her. Help her get back on her feet instead of cleaning my apartment. Same great rates.”