Mail Horror Bride (One Nation Under Zombies Book 1) (19 page)

“I don’t know.” Damian climbed into the driver’s seat and turned the key in the ignition. The engine didn’t start. “It’s dead. It was dead when I woke up. He was gone.”

“Did you look for him?”

“I looked around the SUV. Thought maybe he was fixing it. He isn’t out there. He’s gone.”

“How far did you look?”

Damian turned and looked at her like she was crazy. “I didn’t go off into the trees if that’s what you’re asking. We’re in the middle of nowhere. We’re—” He picked up the map on the dashboard, looked at it, and tossed it back down. “I don’t know where we are.”

“You didn’t look for him.” Raven huffed out an irritated breath as she reached down for the katana she’d set on the floor before lying down to sleep.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think I’m doing? I’m going to find Cruz.”

“Where? The next state?” Damian laughed. “Come on, Raven. You know he probably pulled over while we were all asleep, jumped in another car and took off on his own.”

Raven paused, thought about that. It was a possibility but it didn’t feel right. “He could be hurt.”

“He left us, Raven. He left us with a vehicle that doesn’t even run anymore.” Damian slapped the steering wheel in anger. “Bastard.”

“Are you sure it just isn’t out of gas?”

Damian frowned. “You really think that wouldn’t be the first thing I’d check?”

“I’m looking for him.” She reached for the door.

“It’s dangerous out there. It’s the freaking woods in the dark.”

“Right, which is why I’m looking for him. He could be in trouble.”

“I told you he left us.”

“We don’t know that.”

Damian sighed in exasperation. “Do you think he’d look for you if he woke up to find you gone?”

“I hope he would,” Raven answered honestly, “but whether he would or not doesn’t matter. I can’t in good conscience not look for him. You should feel the same way.”

“Really?” Damian arched his eyebrow. “If you recall, this is the man who has been snapping at us nonstop, accusing us of talking about him, plotting against him. The paranoid bastard left us. Why should I risk my life for him?”

“Because that paranoid bastard is the same man who shot a zombie in the head and saved your life,” Raven snapped. “You owe him.”

Damian looked away, eyes down in shame. “That may be true, but he’s gone, Raven. Whatever is wrong with him, he bailed on us. We need to figure out our next move now.”

“My next move is checking to see if Cruz is out there.” Raven opened the door and emerged from the vehicle, determined to find Cruz. She hadn’t known him long and had no reason to believe he’d be loyal to them, but something told her he hadn’t just left them, no matter how paranoid he’d been acting lately.

“Raven!” Damian came around the front of the SUV, a flashlight in hand. “This is suicide. You don’t know what’s out there.”

“I have my weapon.”

“What if there’s a horde of infected?”

“I’ll swing fast and pray hard.” She grabbed the flashlight. “You work on getting us up and running. I’ll look for Cruz.”

“He’s not out there. It’s been long enough since I woke up to know that if he went out for a piss or something he should have been back by now. I’m telling you he split.”

“Maybe he did, but I can’t just assume that. Maybe you can live with the possibility of leaving him behind on your conscience but I can’t. No one gets left behind on my watch. No one.”

“What about Jeremy?” Damian jerked his head toward the SUV. “Won’t she be left behind if something happens to you out there?”

“I’m going after Cruz, like it or not. I don’t plan on dying but if I do, Jeremy will be with you. I’m not leaving her. I’m just going out to bring back one of our own.”

Damian shook his head, muttering under his breath. “If anything happens, scream as loud as you can. I’ll come running.”

“Will you?”

His brown eyes grew darker. “I will. I don’t turn my back on my people either, Raven. I just don’t think Cruz considers himself one of us. These last few days he’s been looking at us like we’re the enemy or haven’t you noticed?”

“He can’t help it. He needs his medicine.”

“Yeah, I know. What is it for? What the hell is wrong with him in there?” Damian pointed to his own temple. “He’s all jacked up. He’s not safe. Hell, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of leaving him. Him leaving us is a lucky break for us.”

“He’s sick, Damian. What kind of people turn their backs on someone because they’re sick?”

Raven turned and walked away, not caring for a response. She liked Damian but at the moment she couldn’t deal with him. Cruz was a jackass, a real jerk sometimes, but he had a valid excuse. The man needed his medication. She wasn’t about to write him off because he was suffering from some sort of mental illness. She’d already figured out whatever he took the pills for had to do with a mental condition. He was physically fit, didn’t seem to have any visible health conditions. Other than the migraines he suffered, the only thing ailing him was whatever was going on inside his head.

The sky wasn’t full dark. If she wasn’t mistaken, it had lightened up a little bit since she’d exited the Escalade, but it wasn’t light enough for her to feel safe. Raven laughed a little as she stepped deeper into the trees. She would have never entered a strange wooded area at night before. Now, in the middle of a freaking zombie apocalypse, she was doing one of the dumbest things she could imagine a woman doing.

But nowhere was safe anymore, really. Who knew? Maybe the woods were actually safer than the suburbs now, she thought to herself. The infected wanted to munch on people. They found people in the streets, not in the middle of the forest.

A twig snapped to her right and she spun around toward the sound, the katana in hand. She hadn’t even thought about pulling it. The action had been pure reflex. She waited, stone still, as only her eyes moved, scanning side to side, searching for the source of the sound. She thought about using the flashlight but that would give her location away. There was enough moonlight to aid her, so she waited.

Several minutes passed and nothing else made a sound so she continued on, walking slowly, cautiously. She couldn’t seem to step light enough to avoid making noise so she made sure to stay extra aware of her surroundings. She determined her inability to be stealthy was a blessing. If she couldn’t be quiet, there was no way a zombie could sneak up on her silently.

She pressed on, praying under her breath. She prayed that Cruz was safe, as well as Damian and Jeremy. She prayed for her own safety so she could get back to Jeremy. She no longer prayed for herself.

“Go away!”

Raven froze.

“I just want to see the sun.”

That was Cruz. She turned her head toward the sound of his voice and slowly approached. She kept her eyes open for any danger as she weaved through trees, following the sound of Cruz’s voice.

“You’re lying.”

Who was he talking to? Had he found a survivor? Maybe he’d stopped to help someone and been caught. She paused, tightened her grip around the katana’s handle as she considered the possibility she could be walking into a deathtrap. She listened, trying to determine how many people Cruz was with. She heard no voice but his.

“I don’t care, I don’t care. I just want the noise to stop.”

He was close.

Raven slowly proceeded, carefully avoiding any twigs or stones that would make a loud noise. She didn’t want to alert anyone to her presence before she’d had time to take in what was going on. Her gut churned with possibilities, but the most disturbing one of all being finding Cruz alone which she suspected more and more as he kept talking without getting any response.

“Just make it stop.”

Raven’s breath caught in her throat as Cruz came into view. He sat with his back against a tree, a cliff before him. He was alone, alone with whatever phantom he spoke with.

“Cruz,” she said softly, hoping to not spook him.

His body stiffened as he turned his head toward her. His eyes narrowed. “Spying on me?”

“No. Looking for you.” Raven approached him slowly, careful to slide the katana back into its sheath before she reached him. The man had been talking to himself, clearly unstable. She wanted to appear as harmless as possible. “Damian woke up and you were gone. We were worried. Why are you out here?”

“Peace,” he replied as she took a seat next to him. “Searching for it anyway.”

“You didn’t find it.”

“No.” Sadness coated his answer.

“I don’t think it really exists anymore.” Raven looked out over the cliff. “It probably isn’t safe being out here. We should get back. The Escalade isn’t running and I don’t think Damian knows a lot about cars. We should help him.”

“Leave me here.”

“What?” Raven looked at him, searched his face. He didn’t seem angry, not even paranoid which had seemed to be his general mood for the past few days. “Why would we leave you? Why would you want us to?”

“I’m not safe for you anymore.” He looked at her, solemn eyes beseeching her. “I can’t focus. It’s too loud. I’ll get us all killed.”

Too loud. He’d said that before.

“In here?” Raven gently pressed her fingertips to his temple. “This is where it gets loud?”

He nodded.

She’d thought he meant the migraine before when he’d mentioned it being too loud in his head. Now she realized headaches were the least of the trouble in his head. “Do you hear someone? Talking to you?”

He nodded again. “They won’t go away.”

They. Plural. Crap.

“The pills made them quiet?”

He nodded.

“We’ll get you more. I promise we will keep looking. We will search every pharmacy.”

“It’s too late.” Cruz shook his head. “Everything’s gone. They took it. They took everything.”

“Who’s they, Cruz? Who took everything?”

“The demons.” He looked at her, eyes wet with unshed tears. “They’ve been watching and waiting and now they’re here to take everything. We’re all going to burn.”

Raven stared at the man next to her, her lips parted, but no words formed. She was too busy processing what he’d said.

“I refuse to be taken,” he continued, raising his hand from his lap to show the gun he held. “I’m going to burn either way it goes but not here. They won’t get me here and they won’t send the hounds to drag me down there. Joke’s on them. I’m going to beat them.”

Raven’s heart skipped a beat as she realized Cruz’s intentions. She cursed herself for not realizing how deeply troubled he was sooner. “No, Cruz,” she pleaded.

“You should go. I want to see the sun rise one more time. I imagine it’ll be dark all the time where I’m going. You shouldn’t be here.”

Raven rested her hand over the gun. “If you do this, they win.”

He shook his head. “No. This is the way.”

“This is not the way. This is what they want. They’re twisting your thoughts, confusing you. They’re talking to you now, aren’t they? I heard you telling them to stop.”

He lowered his head, nodding. “They won’t leave me alone.”

“They want you to kill yourself,” Raven said, grasping for anything she could think of to stop Cruz from taking his life. “That’s why they won’t shut up. They’re pushing you. They’re making you do all their work for them and when you do they’re going to laugh because not only will they have your soul that much quicker, they know your death will hurt us. You’ll leave us vulnerable to them. All you’re doing is making it easier for them to destroy us all.”

“No.” Cruz pressed his hands, one still holding the gun, against the sides of his head and started rocking, shaking his head side to side viciously. “I have to make it stop. I have to make them quiet.”

She could take the gun. She reached for it but stopped herself, afraid of how Cruz would interpret that action. He might turn on her. He was bigger and his anxiety was through the roof. There was no way to tell what he’d do to her if he saw her as attempting to hurt him or take away what he viewed as his way out of the craziness that had taken over his mind. If he did turn on her he could seriously hurt her, maybe even kill her, unless she used the katana and killed him. She didn’t want his blood on her hands, even if it was to save her life.

Raven moved, placing herself in front of him, her back to the cliff. She felt a wave of dizziness roll over her, realizing how close she was to the edge, how easy it would be for Cruz to kick or shove her over. She was willing to take that chance. She had to. She’d already failed Sky. She couldn’t lose anyone else.

“Cruz, look at me.”

He continued rocking, his eyes squeezed tight.

“Look at me!” she commanded in a more authoritive tone.

He looked up, his eyes growing wide as they focused on a spot to her right. “Leave her alone.”

Raven frowned. “What?”

“Don’t touch her,” he spoke to the space beside her.

Raven looked to her right and saw nothing there. “Who’s beside me, Cruz? Who do you see?”

“My mom,” he answered in a harsh whisper. “But she’s changed. They got her. She’s one of them now.”