Mail Order Prairie Bride: (A Western Historical Romance) (Dodge City Brides Book 1) (25 page)

They sat in silence a moment, both of them soaking wet. Sarah couldn’t stop her teeth from chattering.

“So what does this mean?” Briggs asked, looking down at the leather lines he squeezed in his big hands. “Are we married or aren’t we?”

She didn’t want to answer that question, but she knew if she wasn’t completely honest with him now, all would be lost. The time for secrets had come to an end. “I’m not sure of anything anymore.”

He turned to her. “Why should I believe you after what you’ve kept from me?”

“Because I love you, Briggs,” she replied. “You know I do. Surely you’ve felt it. We’ve come so far together. I was just so afraid you would be disappointed in me and
stop
loving me.”

He bowed his head.

“In my heart, I’m your wife,” she continued. “You’re the only man I will ever love. Isn’t that what’s most important?”

He frowned and shook his head. “You tell me that you love me, but all along you knew you were lying to me. What kind of love can there be without trust?”

“Briggs—”

“No, you have to answer me. How do you expect me to respond to all this? How do you expect me to love you now, when I don’t have the slightest idea who you really are?”

Sarah shuddered at his disillusioned tone. “You say there can’t be love without trust. But I trust
you
. With my life.”

He tore his gaze away from her. “Maybe that’s because I never lied to you.”

With growing resentment, Sarah thought about everything they’d been through, how she’d been treated after their wedding night, how Briggs had been so punishing toward her. “Never lied to me? What about Isabelle? You didn’t tell me any of that. I had to find out from Martha!”

“That has nothing to do with this.”

“Why not?”

“Because it wasn’t the same. I didn’t lie about Isabelle. I just never mentioned her. There was no point.”

Sarah felt her blood quicken in her veins. “It was
exactly
the same. And yes, there was a point. She was the reason you sent for me. I was just a way for you to forget her. You were using me just as much as I was using you.”

Briggs squeezed the reins in his hands.

“I know you weren’t over her when you married me,” Sarah went on. “So if Garrison finds a way to destroy what we have, will you order another wife and forget about me, too? As if the past month never happened?”

“Of course not.” Brigg’s voice was low and controlled.

“If you were truly over Isabelle,” Sarah continued, “you wouldn’t fight so hard against trusting me or loving me.”

He dropped the reins and stood up in the wagon, towering over Sarah. “I told you—that has nothing to do with this. I
am
over her. I’m just not over the….” It was as if he was only now understanding the emotions he’d worked so hard to ignore all this time.

“The
what
?” she pressed him.

His tone softened. “The fact that the people I care about always get taken away. They leave, or they die.”

He sat down again and his expression was completely open. “I watched my family die, Sarah. Right in front of my eyes. My mother, my father, my baby sisters and little brother. There was nothing I could do to stop it, and I thought I was going to die, too. I don’t know why I was spared.”

Fighting tears, Sarah covered his hands with hers. “Oh, Briggs.”

“I didn’t want to love you,” he said. “I worked hard not to, but then I gave myself permission to hope, and now I find out that you were never mine to begin with.”

“I
am
yours, Briggs,” she said. “I’ve been yours since the moment we walked into the courthouse and you made me feel safe and cared for, as if everything was going to be all right.”

He bowed his head. “But you were Garrison’s before you were mine. You spoke vows. You promised to love him until death parted you. Did you really believe you would? Did it mean anything to you when you said it?”

Ashamed, she tried to find a way to answer him. But how could she, when she didn’t even know the answer herself?

“
Did it
?” Briggs pressed.

Unable to look him in the eye, she nodded. “I wrongly believed in him. And perhaps, if he had turned out to be a good man, I would still be with him.”

“You promised him a lifetime.”

She quickly looked up. “And you promised me one, too, when you didn’t know me at all.”

Briggs did not respond. He simply stared at the gray horizon, blurred with rain and mist, while he considered everything.

“Please, believe me,” Sarah said. “I thought I was free to marry you. I was certain my marriage to Garrison was not valid, and over the past month I’ve grown closer to you than I ever was to him. To
anyone
.”

“The past month….” Briggs gazed up at her, despondently. “In all that time, I never really knew who you were.”

His tone sent a chill down her spine. “But you know now,” she said. “I promise, you know everything.”

“Maybe so,” he said, uncertainly.

Panic shot through her as he picked up the reins and flicked them against the horses’ broad backs, turning them around.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Back to see George,” he replied. “He’s a solicitor, and I want to know what’s real and what isn’t—at least in the eyes of the law.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Each of them drenched to the core with rain, Sarah and Briggs pulled into George’s yard. They had not spoken a word since Briggs had turned the wagon around. Without waiting for him to assist her, Sarah climbed down and hurried toward the front door to escape the downpour. Her arm ached and throbbed with every move she made, but the pain in her heart was worse by a long shot.

She pulled the front door open, and shivering, entered the warm, dry house. George met her in the front hall. “Sarah, you’re soaked. Come in by the stove.” He led her into the kitchen. “Where’s Briggs?”

The front door squeaked open and she heard her husband’s boots tap against the step. George immediately went to meet him. “What’s wrong with you?” he demanded. “Sarah could have caught her death out there.”

As much as she could tell from the kitchen, Briggs didn’t answer. She wondered if he even cared. He walked into the room and didn’t waste a single second on civilities. “George, we have a legal problem and we need your help.”

George followed behind Briggs and gave Sarah a questioning glance. “Maybe we should go into the parlor.”

Briggs gestured for Sarah to lead the way. She went in and sat on the sofa in front of the window, and George handed her a blanket that was draped over the back of a chair. He helped her wrap it around her shoulders.

“I suppose you should be the one to explain it,” Briggs said. “You know what happened better than I do.”

Sarah hesitated, wondering how she would ever get through this. Her stomach felt like it was bleeding fire. “It’s something very private, I’m afraid,”

George removed his spectacles. “You may be assured of my utmost discretion.”

“Thank you.” This was proving more difficult than she expected. She kept her eyes lowered. “I…I made a mistake before I married Briggs, and now I’m afraid it’s going to ruin everything.”

“What sort of mistake?”

She stood and walked to the unlit fireplace, staring numbly at the white china bowl on the mantel. How could she say this to George, her brother-in-law, who had always made her feel so welcome? But if she was going to set things right with her husband, she had to find a way.

Closing her eyes, she began. “I was involved with another man before Briggs and I were married, and the involvement progressed to the point of…” Hearing Briggs clear his throat, she stopped, unable to go on.

Sarah tried to find the right words, but gave up, deciding there was no respectable way to put it. “I married him.”

She heard George whistle in shock. “You’re divorced?”

“No, George. That’s the problem. I’m
not
divorced.”

She faced the two brothers squarely. George merely stared, his mouth agape. Briggs stood in angry silence.

“Sarah, I don’t understand,” George said.

“I didn’t get the divorce because I never believed the marriage was legal in the first place. I still don’t, but I’m not certain. If only I’d had the courage to seek legal advice right away, but I was afraid I’d be arrested.”

George stopped pacing and shot her a horrified look. “Arrested! Why?”

“Because he already had a wife.”

George sank into the rocking chair by the fireplace and rested his forehead in his hand. “Good God. This is unbelievable. You mean he never divorced his first wife before marrying you?”

“No.”

“And he wasn’t a widower?”

“No.”

“You’re telling me you married a bigamist?”

“Yes.”

George glanced at his brother. “You knew nothing of this?”

“Not until today,” Briggs said, his voice flat.

“At first I didn’t tell him,” Sarah added, “because I was ashamed and afraid he would turn me away. You have to understand, George—that I had no notion what I was getting into when I met Garrison. He was charming in the beginning, then he became very cruel. I had to escape the marriage.” Sarah was desperate to salvage whatever was left of George’s good opinion of her. “I had no idea he was already married, and now he’s followed me to Dodge and he wants me back. I’m afraid of what he might do if I don’t obey him. He told me he’d never let me go, and now he knows that I’m married to Briggs.”

George sat forward. “He’s here? You spoke to him? Did anyone see you? There’s definitely going to be a scandal.”

Briggs finally spoke up. “George, you’re missing the point. Are any of her marriages legal?”

His detached tone made Sarah shudder inwardly.

George scratched his head. “I’m not sure.”

“What do you mean, you’re not sure?” Briggs shouted. “Law is your profession.”

“I’d need to see the written documents,” George explained, “including those that go along with Garrison’s first marriage. And I must be straightforward with you, I’ve never dealt with a bigamy case before. I’ll have to look it up.”

“How long will that take?”

He thought about it for a moment. “It’s difficult to say. I may have to consult with a colleague.”

“Wonderful,” Briggs whispered, heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Sarah asked, feeling her courage rush out of her.

“For a walk.”

“Can I come with you? We could talk more about this.”

“There’s nothing more to talk about, and I need to be alone.” He walked out and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Briggs sloshed through the mud in town, barely conscious of how deep he was sinking. The rain had stopped, but the dark gray sky prevailed.

Looking up at a passing cowboy atop an impressive black horse, Briggs realized with some despair that he’d walked all the way from George’s house and couldn’t remember anything he’d seen along the way. His head was pounding with tension, his muscles stiff. It pained him to remember the nights he’d spent with Sarah when she had been hiding a part of herself and keeping secrets. Why hadn’t she trusted him enough to tell him? Had he been that much of an ogre in the beginning?

He supposed, with some regret, that he had.

Just then, someone called his name.

Oh, God
. That voice. That sing-song voice….

“Briggs? Is that you?”

He stopped on the boardwalk. Slowly turning, he did his best to appear indifferent and at ease. “Hello, Isabelle.”

She smiled and moved toward him. He took in her overall appearance, which had not changed since the day she broke off their engagement—except for the fact that she wore an expensive-looking dress he did not recognize. It was bright yellow with a high ruffle collar, sleeves with large frilled cuffs, and a long, trained overskirt caught up at the sides in an overabundance of pleated draperies.

As for her face, it was as flawless and as shockingly beautiful as he remembered. But then he noticed the lacey parasol, which made no sense on a rainy day like this—and the long suede gloves, jeweled purse and fan.

She was, and always had been, completely unsuited to his sod house on the prairie.

Hesitantly, he strode toward her.

“It’s wonderful to see you,” Briggs,” she said.

“You, as well.”

“I heard you were married last month. I had no idea it would make you even more handsome than you already were.”

He glanced around, wondering how many of the town gossips were feeding on this. “Her name is Sarah,” he mentioned.

“I know,” Isabelle replied. “George told me. Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

The dazzling twinkle in her eyes dissolved suddenly. “I suppose he told you about my…” She paused, then glanced around self-consciously. “My
situation
.”

Briggs nodded. “I was sorry to hear about that.”