Make Believe: A Novella (17 page)

“What?”

“I didn’t know. How could I have known? Nobody told me that he...that he did that to himself.”

“And neither did you care. It’s been more than a year since he died. You’ve had more than enough time to find out.”

“Why now? Why did you wait a year?”

“Because the time was right. I’ve been watching you guys for a long time. Everything had to be right. Anthony, he was the only one who knew what I looked like. When I knew he wouldn’t be around, the timing was perfect, but then he came back. He had to ruin it! You would have had more time, but he screwed everything up. I knew he would figure it out and give away everything. I couldn’t have that. It had to be on my terms. I had to be in control, not him. Not a man. Men won’t ever control me again. The plan was ruined, but it’s OK because I’ve fixed it now. I’ve brought you here, and it was always going to end this way.”

“Do you think this is going to bring him back?” I breathed.

“I don’t care. I wasn’t there for him when he was alive so I have to make up for it now. You think he was a bad person, but he wasn’t. He was a good person, but he changed. Steve changed him, he changed us both.”

“I know,” I said, making eye contact with her.

“I made him become a monster, it was my fault. He used to be so sweet, I swear.”

“He was sweet. Before things went wrong he was so kind to me, so thoughtful. I didn’t want to hurt your brother, Leah, I just wanted to help him….”

“By locking him up! How did that help him, April, how?” she screamed.

“It wasn’t about locking him up. It was about helping him to get better.”

“And look how that worked out? He became a caged animal in a prison. They cared so much that they let him take his own life. They let him die. That’s how much they cared.”

“So you want to be like them then?” I asked.

“What?”

“They let him die, and now you’re going to let me die. There’s not much difference if you think about it.”

“No, the difference is that you deserve it, and so do I.”

“What about your mother?”

“What?” she froze, stunned at what I had just said.

“Yes, your mother. What about her, when she waits for you to visit and you don’t show up? What about when she gets out and she realizes that both you and Jake are dead? What was it all for, if she ends up alone?”

“She’ll understand,” Leah said confidently.

“So, you’ve told her your plan? She knows everything?”

“No, but she’ll understand!” she was getting angry, but it wasn’t time to back down. Maybe I did have one last shot at life, and I was going for it. I still had so much to say to the people I loved, and I had to fight for that chance.

“How did she take it when she found out that Jake killed Steve?” I could see the barrier she had built slowly crumbling. She hadn’t expected me to do this. She hadn’t planned for this part.

“This isn’t relevant. You’re about to die and so am I. Small talk is pointless.”

“Are you scared, Leah? Are you scared of the truth?”

“I’m not scared of anything, not anymore,” she growled.

I took a deep breath. “Then answer the question.”

“I don’t remember your stupid question,” she looked slightly panicked as she began pacing across the room.

“I asked you how your mom felt when she found out that Jake
killed
Steve?” Her eyes bounced from side to side as she soaked up the expression on my face. I have always been branded as “nice April” and “patient April,” but in this moment that disappeared. I became tough. I explored a side of me I had never met before because if I didn’t then I was going to die. This was my last chance. It was time to take control.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. She took a couple of steps back until her back hit the wall.

“Yes, you do, and you’re going to tell me word for word.”

“You don’t make the rules,” she said so softly that she sounded like a child.

I took a deep breath, and let guilt fill me with the words that hadn’t even left my mouth yet. I had to. It was the only way.

“You and I are going to play a little
game.”

“No,” she whispered.

“Yes, because that’s what you’ve been doing all of this time, haven’t you? With me and Aiden, it’s all just been one big game, hasn’t it?”

“Shut up,” she growled and her eyes fell to the floor.

“No, I’ve got nothing to lose now, Leah. Now I’m in control, and you’re going to play along.”

“I don’t play games anymore,” she choked out.

“You say that, but you have been. All of this! Everything you’ve done has just been one big game, and you know what? I think you liked it….”

“Shut up!” she begged as tears streamed down her face.

“No, you liked it, didn’t you? You
like
playing games, don’t you?”

“No, no, no!” she screamed before sinking to her knees like a little child. “I don’t like it, I just want it to stop. Please make it stop. It hurts so much...just make it stop.”

“Leah, it’s OK,” I breathed, trying to hold back the tears. She was curled up on the floor like a terrified little child. She covered the most intimate places on her body with her hands, and she was sobbing. I wanted to reach out and hold her, to tell her everything was going to be OK, but my hands were tied. I knew one thing, this wasn’t an evil woman I was watching. She was a broken and petrified little girl.

“No, please don’t hurt me. No more. Please. Please,” she whispered. At that point I realized she wasn’t in the same world I was in. She had gone back to a place so far that I couldn’t go with her. She had gone back to where she needed to face...the past.

LEAH’S POINT OF VIEW

(Flashback: 12 years earlier)

“Hey, why are you getting so upset?” Mommy asked as she kissed my forehead.

“I don’t want you to go, I want you to stay,” I begged, scrunching up my tiny face.

“Baby, you know that Mommy has to work, right? You know I have to do this so you and Jay Jay can have nice things, right?”

“I don’t want nice things,” I moaned.

“Not even the nice things that you get for your birthday?” she asked with a smile on her face.

“No!”

“Hey, pumpkin, don’t shout at Mommy like that. She’s just trying to help,” Steve said, appearing from nowhere.

“Oh gosh, you scared me. Where did you disappear to and where’s Jakey?”

“Sorry,” he chuckled, kissing her on the cheek. My stomach turned. Mommy seemed to like his kisses though. I hated them. “I had to pick up a couple of things from the store and then Jakey saw his friend and asked if he could go and play at his house for a couple of hours….”

“And you let him?” she asked angrily.

“Yeah, why not?”

“Because it is Leah’s birthday, he should be spending it with his sister. He can visit his friend any day.”

“Oh, come on, Jen, the boy’s growing up. If you don’t let him do these things, he’ll start to feel left out.”

“I don’t mind him doing things, Steve, just not on Leah’s birthday. You need to go get him and bring him home.”

“OK, OK but you’re going to be late. Me and Leah will go and get him now,” he said. It was a lie. I knew it. He always lied.

“Fine,” she agreed before turning back around to face me. Crouching down in front of me she kissed the tip of my nose. “Enjoy your day, baby. Mommy will see you in the morning, OK?”

I wanted to scream “no” don’t leave me with him. I wanted to scream anything, but one glance and I was silenced. I nodded my head a put a smile on my little face.

“That wasn’t very nice, Leah, was it?” Steve asked as soon as the sound of the car driving away disappeared. I stayed silent. It wasn’t a real question because he already knew the answer. He did that all the time.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, letting my dark hair fall over my eyes.

“That’s OK. Come on,” he said, holding out his hand.

“Are we going to get Jay Jay now?” I asked hopefully.

“Later, first we’re going to play a game. One of our special games,” he said, leading me up the stairs. “This one is going to be really special because it’s your birthday.”

“Will I get some ice cream?” I asked.

“Not today, we don’t have much time because we have to pick up Jakey.”

“Oh,” I breathed, sadly.

“Don’t worry, you can have a slice of your birthday cake if you’re a good girl,” he smiled.

“Really?”

“Really. Now go and lay down,” he ordered as I slowly walked toward my bedroom. “Not there, today I want you in the big bed that Mommy and Steve sleep in, OK?” he asked as my heartbeat started to race.

“OK,” I replied, nodding my head.

APRIL’S POINT OF VIEW

I watched in shock as Leah writhed around on the floor and began screaming.

“No! It hurts! Stop, please!”

With every word that left her mouth, the pain in my chest multiplied. I didn’t want to look at her, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I wanted to tell her everything would be OK, but the truth was, I didn’t know if it would be.

Then Leah shouted so loud that I felt it in every inch of my body. I could hear her breathing speed up, and she began panicking. Just as I went to call her name she suddenly became completely still. She looked dead as though her body had just given up.

“Leah?” I whispered.

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of her name. She looked up at me like a little child. I watched her hand slip into the back pocket of her jeans and she pulled out a small pen knife. My whole world froze. I didn’t have time to comprehend what was about to happen or to scream for help by the time she charged at me with the knife clutched in her hand. I closed my eyes, ready to accept the inevitable. It never came. I felt the knife slice the rope that bound my wrists, and before I knew it, my hands were free, and Leah had fallen to her knees in front of me. She buried her head in my lap and just cried.

“Please help me! Just make it go away, please. Please just stop the pain. I don’t want to hurt anymore. Make it stop.”

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. I was stunned. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. What now? I cautiously rested my hand on her head, and ran my fingers through her dark brown hair as the tears from my eyes fell onto her. 

“It’s OK. It’s over,” I reassured her. “It doesn’t have to be like this. Things can get better. Things will get better.”

“No! Look what I’ve become. Look what I did to you and Aiden. I’m a monster.”

“That’s not true, Leah. You just need a second chance. This doesn’t have to be the end.”

“But I let him down by being a coward. He gave away his sanity to save me.”

“Do you think this is what Jake wanted for you? No, he wanted you happy. Are you happy?”

“No,” she whispered.

“Then let’s change that, OK?” I asked hopefully. She hesitated for a moment before nodding her head.

“OK.”

In silence, we got to our feet and walked toward the door. “April, wait,” she said. I turned and faced her. “Here,” she said, handing me my phone. “Call Aiden. He’ll be worried. I’m sorry that I didn’t see clearly before. This wasn’t your fault, you’re a good person,” she said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

“So are you, Leah. You are a good person who suffered unspeakable atrocities at the hands of an evil person. Things can change.”

“I know.”

Just as I went to reply, she pushed me from behind and I fell on the floor outside of the room.

“I’m sorry, April,” she whispered. Then she quickly locked herself inside the fuel-filled room. She had let me go, but she was still going to kill herself.

“Leah, no!” I screamed as I scrambled to my feet. “Don’t do this! Please!” I pulled at the door handle frantically, and banged and banged on the door with my fists. “It doesn’t have to be this way.”

“I’m sorry, but it does,” she said from behind the door.

I even tried slamming my whole body at the door, but it was of no use. The door wasn’t budging. I didn’t know what to do. Every second was precious, every moment. I looked at the phone in my hand and called the one person I needed.

“April!” It hadn’t even rung once.

“Aiden, I need you,” I whispered into the phone.

“April, where are you, baby?” he asked frantically.

“She’s going to do it, she’s going to set it on fire….“

“April, you need to tell me where you are!” he shouted.

“I don’t know.”

“Can you see anything that you recognize?”

“I’m inside somewhere.”

Suddenly the phone went dead. My reception was gone and that’s exactly when I began to smell the smoke. She had done it. She had really done it. “Leah! Don’t do this! Let me in, please!” I banged against the door like a crazy woman, but she was silent.