Making the Cut (43 page)

I heard Cade yelling behind me. I intended to run for my car until my mother’s choked voice on the other end phone, saturated in grief brought me to a standstill.

“Gwen its Ian. Ian’s dead.” She cried into the phone.

She might have continued speaking, but I couldn’t hear through the roar in my ears.

“No.” I whispered.

This couldn’t be happening, this wasn’t real. There is no way Ian could be
dead.
That was impossible. The sobs at the end of the phone told me different.

“NO!” I screamed, jerking the phone from my ear and hurling it at the wall in front of me. I didn’t react as it smashed against the brick. Pain, like nothing I’d ever felt before slashed through every fiber of my being. I thought I knew about pain, having been as close to death as I had. But I knew nothing. Nothing. Jimmy breaking my ribs with his steel cap boots? A feather touch. My skull being broken when it hit concrete floor? A gentle kiss. My cheek opening when a ring tore through the skin? A cool breeze. They were nothing compared to the agony I was going through at this moment. I heard people calling my name around me but I couldn’t see through the pain, I couldn’t breathe through the pain. I collapsed just as strong arms caught me. Nothing registered.

“No, no, no no.” I chanted.
This isn’t happening, this isn’t real, someone made some sort of mistake.

I clung to the delusion, the desperate hope that this wasn’t real. But the pain was real. The agony of my soul being ripped apart, of my heart shattering into a million different pieces, that was real.
Suddenly real pain, physical, in my stomach caused me to double over.

“Gwen!” Someone screamed my name in desperation.

I felt wetness between my legs.
My baby
is all I thought before I blacked out.

Cade

Cade heaved back the covers yelling Gwen’s name as she ran out the door. He put on some jeans, glaring at the whore walking towards him. Any other bitch with half a brain would catch the look on his face and run a mile. Not this cunt.

“Let her go baby, she needs to understand…” He cut the bitch short with his hand on her neck, he pushed her roughly against the wall. He relished the sound of her choking.

“Shut your fucking mouth bitch. I didn’t go fucking near you last night. Didn’t touch your disease ridden body. I went to sleep alone. Now whatever the fuck you thought when you skulked in here is something you will regret for the rest of you life.” He slammed her against the wall then roughly dropped her, following Gwen. When he reached the bottom of the stairs Bull seized him by the shoulders, slamming him against the wall, a lot rougher than he had Ginger.

“What the fuck brother? You have a woman like Gwen, a woman
pregnant with your child
and you fuck around on her with that skank? You are one sick fucker.” He snarled, his voice vibrating with fury.

Cade shoved him back just as roughly. “I didn’t fuck around on her! Let me the fuck go so I can tell her that!” He bellowed, ready to kill his brother if he stopped him getting to Gwen. Bull looked at him a beat then stepped aside.

Cade ran through the carnage of the night before, ignoring the groans as he trampled the people passed out on the floor.

“Gwen!” He roared again, seeing her stumble out the door and into the parking lot, phone to her ear.

He got to the door, not slowing his pace, but relieved when he realized he would reach her as she stopped dead. He tried to bury the fury at what that slut Ginger had done. It was hard, the flames of anger were burning at his throat, but they were quelled at the thought of Gwen pregnant with his child. Gwen growing his baby inside her creating their family. He couldn’t help but smile on the inside, despite the fact he had a fuck ton of explaining to do. Gwen would believe him. She had to. She knew he would never do that to her.

His thoughts froze as a tortured “NO!” filled the air. There was so much pain in that one word he broke into a sprint, watching Gwen throw her phone then double over in pain. He made it to her just in time to catch her in his arms.

“Gwen baby, talk to me what is it?” He stroked her head struggling to keep the panic out of his voice. His concern for her, for the baby almost crippled him.

“Gwen!” he asked again, frantic, running his hands over her, searching for an injury, a cause for the horrible sounds coming out of her. Tears streamed down her face, a grimace of such raw pain covered it he flinched.

“No, No, No, No,” she whispered over and over, her voice anguished.

“Baby tell me...” Cade was almost over the edge when her cry of pain interrupted him, she clutched her stomach and fear ran ice cold through his veins. At that moment, Lucky and Steg came sprinting over, faces grim.

“What is it Cade, what’s wrong with Gwen?” Lucky bit out eyes frantic.

“Call a fucking ambulance, NOW!” Cade screamed and he watched in horror as blood trickled down her legs.

Gwen

I woke to that beeping again. That all too familiar hospital beeping. Great. I creaked one of my eyes open, expecting to see Ian curled up in the corner. Then the horror of it all washed over me. The phone call, Mum’s tortured voice, Ian. He was dead. My brother was dead. I vaguely noticed the beeping beside me getting louder as the pain ripped through me once more. How could this be real? This couldn’t be real. Ian wasn’t dead. No someone else was, they just thought it was Ian. It’s just a big mistake. Yes it had to be, a mistake.

I struggled to contain my breathing as Sarah, my baby doctor rushed in looking worried. A fresh wave of horror settled over me. The pain. The feeling of my baby leaving me, dying. No, no, no. Tears streamed down my face as Sarah approached the bed.

“Gwen sweetheart, I know it’s hard but I need you to take a deep breath and calm down. You hear that beeping? That’s your heart, its hammering away pretty hard, we need to try and slow it down a bit.” She explained calmly.

“My baby?” I asked her, my voice dead.

She took me hand and I prepared for the blow. She squeezed it and smiled weakly. “The baby is okay Gwen, everything is fine.”

I blinked, barely allowing myself to believe it. “But the pain, and I was bleeding…”

“You had a nasty shock and your baby wasn’t prepared for what your body was going through. Especially given the fact your blood pressure was already a little high. I know it’s scary but 30% of women experience cramps and bleeding in the first trimester and considering the news you received its not surprising.”

She gave my hand another squeeze.

“Now, I have your fiancé outside, he was not happy to be left there. In fact it took three of his friends to convince him to stay in the waiting room. You think it would be okay to let him in? You know before he ruins anymore furniture?” She grinned, writing something in my chart.

“Fiancé?” I croaked, confused.

Then thoughts of Cade come back. Cade and Ginger. My life was falling apart lying in this hospital bed. Cade didn’t deserve to see me. To see our baby. But Sarah didn’t deserve to have her office trashed by the asshole either. I opened my mouth to agree when a commotion outside stopped me.

“Fuck this, I’ve been waiting out here for almost a fucking hour! I don’t give a shit what procedure is I’m seeing my fucking woman!” A familiar angry voice shouted as the doors crashed open. A frantic looking Cade stormed in, followed by two very pissed off looking orderlies. His eyes fell on me and instantly softened to a look of love and relief it almost pierced the feeling of emptiness and despair that surrounded me. Almost.

“It’s okay guys, we’ve just got one concerned Dad on our hands you can go.” Sarah told the orderly’s and they looked relieved at not having to try and drag Cade out. They turned and shut the door behind them.

“Gwen. Baby. Jesus Christ.” Cade rushed over, kneeling over me, pulling his face to mine so our foreheads touched. He closed his eyes, leaving us like that for a second, before he opened them, eyes falling on mine. He straightened, turning to the doctor, clutching my hand.

“Is she okay? Is the baby…?” He choked, looking like he couldn’t physically finish the sentence.

“She’s fine. Mr Fletcher. The baby is fine too.” Sarah reassured him.

I watched the relief wash over Cade, his eyes closed for a second and his shoulders sagged as if a weight had been lifted.

“Thank god.” He pulled my hand to his mouth, gently pressing his lips against my knuckles. I watched him woodenly. My hand moved to my stomach, my love and happiness for my little bun the only thing keeping me going. Cade followed my hand, his covering my own, weakly smiling at me.

“Thank god”. He repeated, holding my gaze again.

His hand didn’t leave mine as he focused his attention on Sarah.

“But why did this happen? She was in pain, bleeding. Are you sure everything is okay?” He fired at her with an edge to his voice.

Sarah stood at the end of the bed looking at us both, addressing Cade.

“As I was just telling Gwen, babies respond to their mother’s distress. And I understand Gwen had just gotten some bad news.” She pointed a sympathetic glance at me and Cade’s hand squeezed mine.

“But lets give Dad a look so you can feel better.” She wheeled an ultrasound machine over from the corner and gestured for us to remove or hands.

She exposed my stomach. Cade’s eyes were glued to my belly in a look so intense I forced myself to glance away before it could affect me. After putting the cold jelly on, she moved the wand and we both watched the screen. I looked at what I had seen the day before, reassured to hear the little heartbeat. Cade’s grip was iron on my hand. I swear I had never seen a look on his face like the one he was currently wearing. His eyes glistened, he gazed down at me with pure joy on his face.

“That’s our baby.” He murmured roughly, stroking my cheek.

“As you can see and hear we have a little fighter on our hands.” Sarah informed us.

I registered the screen, the baby, the father’s joy, but I couldn’t bring myself to find any response. A numbness settled over me. I was relieved beyond belief that my baby was okay but that’s all I could feel, all I let myself feel. Sarah put the machine away and she stood at the end of my bed again.

“When Gwen’s body went into shock, so did the baby. And as the baby isn’t equipped to deal with stress, it gave us signs of distress. Now Gwen’s blood pressure is also quite high, which is slightly worrying. I would advise you stay rested for the next couple of days, try to avoid stress. I know that is not something that can be controlled at this time. But we can monitor you just in case.” She smiled sadly, pity in her eyes.

Pity for me. The girl whose brother just died. The grief cut through me like glass.

“I can’t stay anywhere rested. I have to get a flight. I have to get to New Zealand as soon as possible.” I informed her flatly.

“Gwen, sweetheart, the baby, I don’t know if that…” Cade began, voice tender but firm.

I ignored him, keeping my eyes on Sarah. “Will the baby be okay? Hell I’ll even hire a doctor to fly with me.” I told her, unable to fathom the thought of being unable to see my parents.

“Honestly Gwen, the bed rest is just a precaution, a flight is obviously not ideal at the moment, but I am reasonably sure the baby will be fine. The biggest worry on a flight is a blot clot, but as long as we can get your pressure down the risk lowers significantly. We will keep you here for observation for a couple more hours, just to make sure your blood pressure comes down, then I will be able to clear you for flying. I’ll come back and check on you in a bit.” She turned to leave the room but Cade stopped her.

“Reasonably sure?” He bit out. “I want you to be 100% sure that my baby and future wife are going to be safe before putting them on a 12 hour flight. I am not letting Gwen anywhere near a plane for ‘reasonably sure.’” He declared hotly.

I felt my temper flare from somewhere, but Sarah spoke before I can.

“Mr Fletcher, I would never put my patient on a plane if I thought there would be any risk to her or the babies health. That is why I am monitoring her. The baby’s heartbeat is strong, her blood pressure is coming down, she is healthy, and young. Now of course even in a healthy pregnancy there will never be a 100% certainty that everything will run smoothly. But I can assure you, she will not be getting on that plane unless I am sure she and they baby will not be at any unusual risk.” She maintained eye contact with Cade, not backing down.

I would have been impressed had I been able to focus on anything but my sorrow.

Cade continued to glare at her a beat, then nodded stiffly, returning his concerned gaze to me.

“I’ll leave you to it. You will be discharged as soon as your blood pressure gets back to normal and stays there. Should be a few hours.” Sarah cut in, before moving to the other side of my bed not occupied by a big biker. She squeezed my hand.

“I’m so sorry about your brother Gwen.” She told me sincerely before walking out.

I followed her with my eyes, wishing for glorious oblivion to stop me from getting crushed under the weight of my sorrow.

“Baby?” Cade muttered softly, his hand stroking my face so tenderly you’d think I was made of glass. I felt like it. I felt like I would shatter at any moment. But I couldn’t. I had a little baby inside me, who needed its mother to be strong.