Malcolm (Book 1, The Redemption Series) (29 page)

“Too good,” Jered mumbles before getting on his horse. “I’ll see you in a few days,” he promises before riding away.

I turn back to my horse and hook the satchel onto the horn of the saddle.

Malcolm walks over to me.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

I look up at him and know he’s asking me if I’m ready to get on the horse, but my heart is ready to finally make the man standing in front of me mine.

“Yes,” I tell him, “I’m ready.”

I’m ready to fight for what I want.

And if I don’t win his heart once and for always.

I’ll set him free…

CHAPTER twenty-one

As we ride, I notice Lucas constantly peeking around Malcolm trying to look at me. It’s cute to me, but apparently annoying to Malcolm. Finally, I hear him let out an exasperated sigh and pull on his horse’s reins to bring it to a halt. My horse walks up beside his and stops.

Lucas’ face beams with joy when he sees me, making my heart truly happy for the first time in a long time.

“I think Lucas has a thousand and one questions he wants to ask you,” Malcolm says to me, ruffling the hair on Lucas’ head and making him giggle.

“What’s it like up in Cirrus?” Lucas asks excitedly. “Do you have a dog? I’ve always wanted a dog, but my dad won’t let me have one.”

“I don’t like dogs,” Malcolm grumbles.

I feel sure Malcolm’s aversion to dogs has something to do with his experiences with the hellhounds.

“Yes, I do have a dog,” I tell Lucas. “Her name is Vala, and she’s a sentient robotic dog. Real animals aren’t allowed in Cirrus.”

“Wow,” Lucas says, his eyes wide with wonder.

We begin walking the horses at the same pace when he asks, “Does she like to play fetch? Or is she too smart to do real dog stuff?”

“Vala loves to play fetch,” I assure Lucas. “And I’m sure she will fall in love with you the moment she sees you.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I did.”

Lucas giggles and smiles so bright I feel as though anything is possible in his world. It's a realm filled with a child’s magic and not burdened with the weight we adults feel sometimes.

For most of the day, Lucas questions me about life in Cirrus. He seems especially curious about the castle he saw in his vision. I suppose his interest is born from the belief that it will be his home one day. Malcolm even chimes in every once in a while asking me questions about my life, and I’m given hope that maybe he’s getting to know me a little better through Lucas’ natural curiosity about me.

It’s near dusk before we reach the place Jered is supposed to bring the people who will take care of Lucas.

It’s a home that looks like it was built in a bygone era, a forgotten time to most but not all apparently. The four white pillars at the front of the mansion stand tall and proud, connecting each level of the home from the bottom of the porch on the first floor, through the second floor's porch up to the overhanging roof. The home looks well-kept even though it’s old.

“Do you like to swim?” Lucas asks me. “There’s a lake in the back.”

“It’s far too cold to go swimming,” Malcolm informs Lucas as he gets off his horse. He then turns back around to reach up for his son.

“I know,” Lucas says placing his hands on Malcolm’s shoulders as his dad plucks him out of the saddle, “but I thought we could bring Anna here next spring before it gets too hot to go swimming.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know how to swim,” I say, almost regretting the fact for the first time in my life.

“My dad can teach you how to swim,” Lucas says confidently. “He taught me how in no time at all.”

“I don’t really like the water either,” I admit.

“Well, you could watch us at least,” Lucas says, quickly thinking of an alternative. “We could still have fun. I bet the babies will love the water.”

“Babies?” Malcolm says looking completely lost. “What babies?”

“The ones you and Anna will have. Geesh, keep up, Dad.”

I try to hide my smile but fail miserably at it and let out a little giggle.

Malcolm looks at me and raises an eyebrow. “That only encourages him.”

“I know,” I say, “I’m sorry. I just find everything he says to be cute.”

“And it’s
aaaalllll
true too. You’ll see,” Lucas tells us with a firm nod of his head. “Come on, Anna. I want to show you my room.”

Lucas comes up to me and takes one of my hands into his. Malcolm walks up to the porch and pulls out a fake floor board where an old fashion key is hidden. He unlocks the front door and Lucas runs inside, obviously excited to be back in this particular home he shares with his father.

Malcolm gently touches me on the arm to hold me back a second.

He looks into the house to make sure Lucas isn’t within hearing range.

“Please, don’t encourage this fantasy world he’s built about us all living together in Cirrus. I don’t want him to be too disappointed when it doesn’t happen.”

“How do you do that?” I ask, feeling the happiness Lucas has brought back into my life being twisted away by Malcolm’s words.

“Do what?” Malcolm asks. “Be realistic? He’s my son, and I don’t want to see him get hurt because his expectations don’t get met.”

“No,” I whisper because my throat suddenly feels tight by me forcing myself not to cry. “How can you twist my heart so easily with just a few words?”

Malcolm lets go of my arm. “I don’t want either one of you to think something is going to happen when it isn’t.”

“And there goes another twist,” I say, looking away from Malcolm before he can see the tears welling in my eyes.

I walk over the threshold and enter the home. I see Lucas standing at the foot of a staircase leading to the second floor staring at me. I have a bad feeling he heard our conversation because he looks sad all of a sudden. He holds out his hand to me as if offering me the love his father can’t, or won’t, give.

I go to him and take his hand as a tear rolls down one of my cheeks. I quickly wipe it away, but it’s too late. Lucas has seen it.

“Don’t cry,” he whispers to me, “everything will be all right. You’ll see.”

I try to smile at him but can’t quite force my lips to do something that my heart isn’t feeling.

“Come on, Anna,” Lucas says tugging on my hand. “I want to show you my room.”

Lucas takes me upstairs to his room and shows me all of his toys. He’s so proud of everything he owns, and I can tell he takes care of each little thing, not taking for granted what he has like most children his age would. Yet, Lucas’ soul feels like an old one. The depth of compassion and love he harbors for those in his life is so transparent in his looks and smiles. I wonder how a six-year-old can look so young yet carry the soul of someone so wise.

“Can I show you something without you telling my dad about it?” Lucas asks unexpectedly while we’re building a castle with his wooden blocks.

“As long as it isn’t something that’s a danger to you,” I reply.

Lucas smiles and stands up from the floor to walk over to one of the nightstands by his bed. He pulls out some papers and walks back over to hand them to me.

I take the white sheets of paper and notice they’re all drawings of me.

I look up at Lucas and he smiles.

“See,” he says, “I told you I saw you in my vision.”

My eyes begin to well again with tears because I’m torn between wanting to believe Lucas’s vision and knowing that his father is doing everything he can to make sure it never comes to pass.

“It’s a nice dream, Lucas,” I tell him, handing back the drawings, “but that’s all it is, a dream.”

“No,” Lucas says decisively, “it’s not a dream. It’s our future. I know it is.”

I smile wanly at him and return my attention back to the building blocks. I know if I don’t I might become upset in front of Lucas, and that’s the last thing I want to do.

Lucas returns his drawings to the nightstand and comes back to sit with me on the floor.

“Anna,” he says a little later, “have you ever thought about wooing my dad?”

I look up at Lucas. “How on earth does a six-year-old even know what wooing means?”

Lucas shrugs. “Saw it in a movie once about a guy trying to get this girl to like him. It worked for him. I don’t see why it wouldn’t work for you.”

I sit back and think about what Lucas just said.

“What exactly did this guy do to woo the girl he loved?”

Lucas sits and thinks before saying, “Well, he found out what she liked and then did things to make her happy.”

“What does your dad like to do?” I ask.

“He loves to build things,” Lucas says. “He has a workshop out back and stays in there a lot when we come to this house.”

“Anything else?”

“He likes to cook. He said a friend of his showed him how to do it a long time ago, and it just sort of stuck with him. Oh, and he loves to play chess. He’s always trying to teach me, but I just don’t like it. Takes way too long to play. I like checkers better.”

“I’m not very good at chess,” I confess.

“That’s perfect!” Lucas says enthusiastically. “Because my dad loves to win!”

I giggle.

“Lucas,” we hear Malcolm say from the doorway, “it’s time you went to bed. It’s getting late.”

Lucas groans but doesn’t argue. He stands up and goes to his chest of drawers from which he pulls out a set of pajamas.

I stand up.

“Where is my room?” I ask Malcolm.

Malcolm tilts his head to the side indicating I should follow him.

“Night, Anna,” Lucas says walking up to me before I leave the room and giving me a tight hug around the waist.

I bend down and kiss the top of his head. “Good night, Lucas. Sweet dreams.”

He lets me go and continues to take his clothes off to change.

I follow Malcolm down the hallway to another bedroom. He flips on the light in the room for me, and I see that it’s a fairly large one with a good size bed and matching furniture.

“I brought up the satchel Jered gave you,” Malcolm tells me, nodding to indicate that it’s sitting on the bed. “If there’s anything he forgot, just let me know. I might have something that will do.”

“Thanks,” I tell him, walking into the room.

“We’ll be here for at least a couple of days,” Malcolm tells me. “So try to get some rest while we’re here. There’s really nothing else to do.”

“Ok,” I say, “I will.”

Malcolm just stands in the doorway looking reluctant to leave.

“My room is at the end of the hallway,” he informs me, “in case you need me for anything.”

“Ok.”

Still Malcolm doesn’t act like he’s going to leave.

“Was there anything else you wanted?” I ask, needing him to either come in or go because his reluctance to leave me is just fueling a hope that may cause me more pain in the end.

“No,” he says, taking a step back from the door. “Good night, Anna.”

“Good night, Malcolm.”

Malcolm walks away, and I close the door, listening to his footfalls as he walks away from me.

I walk over to the satchel on the bed and open it.

Jered bought me a couple of changes of clothes, some toiletries, and another pair of boots. I look in the satchel again but can’t seem to find anything to sleep in. I don’t particularly want to sleep in my leather outfit for another night. So, I step out of my room to seek out Malcolm to see if he has a spare shirt I can borrow.

I hear voices coming from Lucas’ room and make my way over there.

“Why don’t you like her, Dad?” I hear Lucas ask.

I stop in mid-stride, curious to find out the answer to that question myself.

“I like her just fine,” Malcolm answers, sounding bemused by the question. “Why would you think I don’t like Anna?”

“Because I heard what you said to her about not getting my hopes up.”

“Oh,” Malcolm says, obviously thinking our conversation had stayed private.

“Please, don’t screw this up for us, Dad,” I hear Lucas beg Malcolm. “She’s everything we need to make us into a real family. I love her, and I think you do too.”

I lift my hand to my heart and close my eyes because I know I won’t be able to stop the tears this time. I turn around and go back to my room, not worrying about a night shirt anymore. After I quietly close the door behind me, I lean my back up against it and let my sorrow flow unhindered.

If Malcolm would just accept the love I have for him, our lives would be like the dream world Lucas conjured up in his vision. We could have a life only a few people get to share with one another. But, I’m at a loss on how to make that happen.

I’m not sure how long I stand there crying, but eventually, I hear a soft knock on the other side of the door.

“Yes?” I ask, wiping at the tears on my face.

“I wasn’t sure if Jered packed you anything to sleep in,” I hear Malcolm say from the hallway. “I brought you something in case you need it.”

I curse softly under my breath because the last thing I want is for Malcolm to see me crying. The best thing I can do to hide the fact is turn off the light in the room before I open the door.

I don’t open the door fully, and I only allow half my face to be seen, angling the door in such a way that Malcolm can’t see it fully.

Malcolm stands in the hallway only wearing a pair of white silk pajama pants, and I wonder if he realizes what seeing him like that does to me. He hands me what looks like the matching shirt to the pants he has on. I take the shirt.