Authors: John Varley
He slept a lot at first, and then hardly at all, to the point where he was surprised to wake up lying in the bunk.
Before long he came to actually look forward to the visits from A&A, something he would have sworn would never happen. He realized it meant they were wearing him down, and knew there was not much he could do about it. In spite of himself, he found himself asking
them
questions. Stupid, desperate questions.
How is the weather today?
Where are you from?
Is Susan okay?
Do you have more than one pair of argyle socks, or do you wash those every night?
Matt had always been a loner, but he found to his surprise that he did not seem to actually be hermit material. He found himself hungering for the barest hint of contact, and even though he was aware that Albert was probably doling out these hints with complete calculation, with the goal in mind of making Matt emotionally dependent on him, he soaked up the tiny bits of data like a sponge.
It’s warm and sunny. Perhaps you can get out and enjoy it soon. It’s entirely up to you, Matt.
I’m from Oregon. Yes, I know you are, too.
Susan is fine. Would you like to write her another postcard, tell her you’re okay?
Argyle never answered about the socks. Argyle never answered
anything.
And of course that was calculated, too.
Matt battled it, but there was no denying, he felt more than a little lost.
But about halfway through his ordeal (as he estimated later), he began to adjust. He spent more and more time simply sitting. Sometimes he cleared his mind, went into a state of meditation, inventing for himself the basics of yoga. Other times his mind was very busy indeed, thinking over what had become the central problem of his life: time travel, and how to accomplish it.
It was during these times of meditation that he decided on his future course.
If he ever got out alive.
THEN
one day Argyle showed up without Albert. Another well-known fact about prisoners in solitary confinement is that any change in routine, while it may be welcome in some ways, is also upsetting. When you are utterly in the power of someone else, and you don’t even know who that someone else is, there is a superstitious feeling that any change is probably going to be for the worse. Matt swallowed hard, and got up from his seat on the bed.
“Am I ever going to learn your name?” he asked, trying to put on a brave face. Argyle ignored the question, as he had ignored every question Matt had ever asked. He walked up to within a pace of Matt and put his hands on his hips.
“I want you to know something,” Argyle said. “I know you’ve been lying, right from day one. I know how to get the truth out of you, I could have you talking in fifteen minutes, tops. I could have you telling me things you didn’t even know you knew. I just wanted you to know that.” And he hit Matt in the nose with a right hook before Matt was even aware the man was moving. On his way down Matt caught a left jab to the stomach that explosively brought up the powdered eggs and greasy bacon and coffee he had eaten a few hours earlier. After a moment of blackness Matt found himself on his knees staring at a mixture of vomit and blood on the floor between his hands. The vomiting had stopped, but the blood was still spurting.
So this is how it begins
, Matt thought. From the first he had been expecting this. In fact, he’d expected it a lot sooner. He had dueled with them for a long time, doing his best to conceal the one nugget of information that might,
might
, be of some use to them, and did it while always telling the truth.
Always
, and it hadn’t been easy. He hadn’t fooled them—the punch in the nose was proof of that—but he hadn’t given them anything useful, either. He wasn’t going to give it all up now, not after two punches, not simply because he was petrified at the very concept of torture. He had to hold out longer than that, didn’t he?
So what would a movie hero do? What would Indiana Jones do? Come out with a snappy line, that’s what he’d do.
Matt stared at the brown wingtips inches from his face, and at the argyle socks he had come to hate so much.
“I get it,” he said. “You don’t wash them at all.” Well, it wasn’t
Hasta la vista, baby
, but he wasn’t an indestructible machine, either.
One of the brown shoes came up off the floor and Matt cringed…but the shoe came down. He felt something wet land on the back of his head, and realized he had been spit on. Then Argyle turned and walked to the door, through it, and, though he didn’t know it at the time, out of Matt’s life. Matt sat back on his heels and cradled his stomach and waited to see if he was going to throw up again.
The door was still open when Howard came in and stopped
dead in his tracks. His face flushed bright red and he turned on his heel and leaned out the door.
“I want that man charged with assault and battery!” he screamed, so angry his voice came out at the high-pitched squeak that had been the bane of his school years. “I’m a witness! I want him
fired
, and I want him in
prison
!”
Howard came back into the room, shaking with fury, and strode over to the sink, where he grabbed a towel and hurried back to kneel beside Matt. He started to mop at the blood on Matt’s face, but Matt pulled away and Howard just handed the towel to him. Matt used it to scrub at the back of his head.
“He spit on me,” Matt explained.
There seemed to be two Howards kneeling before him. He realized his eyes were starting to swell up. He squinted one eye closed, which probably gave him the dubious expression he was going for.
“Took you long enough to get here.”
“Matt, I…”
“Never mind. So what is this? Stage three of the interrogation? Start out soft, go hard, then try sweet reason? Or is there more brutality to come?”
“There was never supposed to be any brutality in the first place. That man was taking out his own frustrations, and I promise you he’s going to pay for it. Here, let’s go sit down and we’ll talk about it.” He grabbed Matt under the arm and Matt submitted, letting himself be helped to his feet, where he staggered to the table and fell heavily into a chair. The flow of blood had dried to a trickle but his nose hurt like hell. He busied himself wiping his face, giving himself time to think about this new development.
Was this staged for his benefit? Rough him up, then bring in a familiar, if not exactly beloved face, and go at him again while he’s presumably at his most vulnerable?
You could sure make a case for it, but Matt couldn’t buy Howard Christian as that good an actor. He looked across the table and saw a man who might be a real bear at a conference table doing a business deal, but who simply didn’t have it in him to simulate the shaking hands, the sick expression.
He decided to trust him, tentatively. Matt knew himself to
be a poor judge of character, not having spent a lot of time studying the human species, but he felt he’d learned a lot during his weeks in here when there was nothing at all to do but study his interrogators. He’d certainly read Argyle correctly.
“You asked me what took me so long,” Howard said. “It took me two weeks just to find out who had you.”
“Who is it?”
Howard grimaced.
“All right, I understand you haven’t told any lies, so I won’t either. Part of the deal that got me in here is that I can’t tell you that. Think of them as the NNSA.”
“Americans, right? What’s it stand for?”
“The No Name Spook Agency. That’s all you need to know about them, because there’s absolutely nothing you can do about your detainment here, or the treatment you’ve received. Have you been physically abused before today?”
“No. Well, they never turn off the lights, and they drugged me.”
“I’m not surprised. Again, nothing to be done about it. It took me another two weeks to find out where you were.”
Matt raised an eyebrow, and regretted it. It hurt.
“New Jersey,” Howard said.
“They kidnapped me in California.”
“It’s taken me until now to get in to see you. Matt, believe me when I tell you that I’ve been working on nothing but the mammoths, and your situation, and
my
situation, from the moment this happened.”
“Your situation?”
“You think I’m immune? It’s possible that the only reason I’m not in your situation is that I didn’t run afterward.”
“Right,” Matt said. “That, and forty billion dollars.”
“Probably thirty-nine now, after my expenses since the mammoths showed up.” Matt realized it was an attempt at humor, but he didn’t find it amusing, and after a moment neither did Howard. He hung his head briefly.
“You’re right, of course. My questioning was done with my lawyer at my side. But don’t think it was pleasant. My wealth shielded me from all this”—he waved his hand at the room, glanced once more at the pool of vomit and blood—“but make no mistake about it, the government wants the time
machine, and they intend to have it. I’ve convinced them that I don’t have it. Hell, I don’t have my warehouse, my frozen mammoth, my caveman, or any of the things you were working on. But Matt, I told the government everything. I told the truth, and they tell me they can’t prove you ever told them a lie. But we both know you’re hiding something. And I’m not sure I can get you out of here unless you tell them.”
Out of here?
Matt hadn’t even been thinking in those terms. He had assumed he would be detained for a long, long time.
“Howard…I’m still not sure there is a ‘them.’ It might be you, keeping me here.”
Howard looked Matt straight in the eyes.
“Maybe I deserve that. I can see how you might think it, anyway. There’s no way I can disprove it, because the people who do have you are never going to reveal themselves to you, they’re not going to come in here and say, ‘Howard Christian has had nothing to do with this; in fact, he’s been using every ounce of influence he has to stop this travesty.’ All I can do is tell you it’s not me, it’s not my people.”
Matt sighed. “Let me go through it all once more. I don’t have the time machine. I don’t know where it is. I have told you the last place I saw it, but I don’t know where it went after that. I might be able to find it if I was out of here, but I’m not even sure of that.
“There is only one hope here. If I am allowed to leave this place, if they cut me loose and don’t bother me, I might be able to figure out how it works. Or how it worked, anyway. I am on the track of something…but Howard, it is so crazy, it is so
ephemeral
, that it goes away every time I look at it. I haven’t even tried to explain this to the questioners, whatever their names are, because I can’t explain it to myself. I need time to think. I need time to explore new avenues. The answer will not be where we expect to find it, I know that much. This requires a new way of thinking, and I don’t know if my brain, if
any
human brain, is
equipped
to think about it. It needs new tools. Mathematics isn’t enough. Science isn’t enough. And…that’s about all I can tell you.” Matt spread his hands, and looked toward the one-way mirror.
“So ask them, when you leave here, ask them if I told one single lie just now. Will you do that, Howard? Examine what I
said, see for yourself that it’s all the truth, and ask yourself…
what could I possibly be hiding?”
Howard studied Matt’s face for a while, then glanced over his shoulder at the one-way mirror, and smiled wryly at the unseen observers.
“How about this,” he said. “I can set up the lab again. No problem. You know we have tapes of everything you did, we have all the data you stored on our outside servers. You can get right to work on building another time machine.”
Matt clucked his tongue and shook his head sadly, until a stab of pain reminded him that wasn’t such a great idea.
“Howard, Howard, you’ve been accusing me of not telling all the truth, and now look at you. That lab is already set up, has been since a few days after the incident, and whoever was your number two choice to build your time machine is hard at work duplicating it with all that data you’re talking about. Since I voluntarily gave these government people all the data in my files, they’re doing it, too.”
Howard didn’t even look guilty this time.
“Of course he is. But now you can take over.”
“How’s he doing?”
“Getting nowhere. Oh, he’s built twenty more machines, and we can’t turn on a single one of them.”
“Have you tried whacking them?”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said. My machines didn’t work, either, until that nut started hitting one of them with a hammer.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I’m dead serious. The answer, if there is one, may be just that crazy. It might be that this was all a one-time event, impossible to duplicate. Hitting that box may have shifted something temporally, randomly, in a way that couldn’t be duplicated in a billion years.”
“Do you think so?”
“I don’t know! It’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about, when I’m able to think of anything at all. Clearly something odd happened, and it wasn’t my doing. I think you’re all barking up the wrong tree here, thinking that if you just pressure me enough I’ll be able to give you the secret. I don’t
know the secret! I don’t know how many more ways to say that. But, one more time…I may be able to find it.
If you leave me alone.”
“Would you go to my lab to work on it if they let you out?”
“Of
course
I’d go. I’d do almost anything to get out of here.” He looked again at the mirrored window. “Pay attention in there! Test this statement for truth! I’d go, I’d spend day after day tinkering with your useless boxes. But it would be a total waste of my time and your time. What I need to find out won’t be found by playing with a fistful of high-tech marbles with a lot of government monkeys looking over my shoulder. I have to look elsewhere.”
Howard shrugged, and spread his hands.
“Where?”
“Esalen was a good start.”