Cassie could never do that, not when she was so close to meeting her goals—a secure future and the companionship of stimulating and interesting people. She wouldn't risk it for any man, and she hadn't met one yet who didn't expect her career to come second. Men couldn't be depended on the way tenure could. Rob had taught her that.
But intellectual companionship didn't fill all her needs. She spent over an hour staring bleakly at the ceiling before she fell asleep.
Cassie rubbed her temples. No matter how many times she performed the analysis, her results weren't turning out to be statistically significant. No significant results meant no paper to be published. No paper meant no tenure. She tried to block the refrain in her head. It was a well-planned study, and she was getting new data every day. Panicking wouldn't help.
Maybe she needed to get out of the lab and remember why she loved this work. She closed her data notebook and turned to Erin. At least Cassie hoped she was working, rather than just emailing Scott. Maybe tonight she and Erin could finally do something together, just the two of them.
When Erin looked up from the screen, Cassie said, "It's a new moon tonight, and Jim says the dinoflagellate counts are high. I'm going to check it out. Want to come?"
"Can I bring Scott?"
So much for just the two of them doing something. "By all means, bring Scott. Though he could probably see the same thing swimming off his own pier, without trekking all the way to the marsh."
"Oh, but I'd like to take him. He's only here for two more weeks. I want to be with him as much as I can. I'll check if he wants to go." Erin sat down again and began to type.
"Careful, girl, that keyboard hasn't had a chance to cool down since your last email!" Cassie was glad to see Erin so happy again, even if the subject of Scott became tiresome on occasion.
Erin arranged that she and Cassie would walk out to Scott's house that night, thus avoiding the perpetual problem of parking in Woods Hole. They were waved past the gate to Penzance Point this time. Erin was a known visitor now.
Scott was already outside waiting when they reached the house. Cassie turned away, ostensibly to admire the view of the Sound, as the two lovers greeted one another tenderly. Finally she turned back after hearing conversation once again.
"Ready to go?" she asked brightly.
"All ready." Scott dangled his car keys. "I'll see if Calder's ready. He wants to check this out, too."
Cassie wondered if Calder understood this was playtime, not a scientific expedition. He had tagged along on a specimen-gathering trip they made to the salt marsh earlier in the week, and she had the time to explain everything to him then, but she wasn't interested in being a teacher tonight. He would just have to cope. She had no intention of baby-sitting him.
When he emerged from the house, Calder announced he would be driving as well. With a regretful glance at Erin and Scott, Cassie offered to ride with him, more from a desire to give the other two some time alone than out of any wish for Calder's company. She tried not to notice the luxuriousness of the car's interior as she buckled her seat belt. "Very thoughtful of you to make sure the lovebirds get a little privacy."
He glanced at her as he turned the key and the engine came smoothly to life. "Or something like that. I hope you'll be able to give me directions."
She gave him an amused look. "I should hope so, after doing research there for eight years!"
"We're going to the marsh?" He seemed taken aback.
Cassie wondered if he was afraid of getting his feet muddy. "Yes, as it happens, there's a beautiful beach at the edge of the marsh; it's completely deserted, because there's no good land to build on. It's ideal for seeing the biolumes because there are fewer artificial lights there."
"Makes sense."
He said nothing further, only watched the road. It was starting to look as if it would be a long, silent ride. Cassie cast about for a topic of conversation. "Did Erin give you your book back? Thanks again for lending it to me. I really enjoyed it."
"Did you?"
She gave him a puzzled look. "Yes, I did." What game were they playing? "The characterization was very good, and the part where Elanora learned she had cancer was just heartbreaking. It was hard to imagine how Teddy was going to live without her."
"He did, though. He went on."
"Yes, though there was a point where I wondered if it could have any kind of happy resolution." She had almost stopped reading it at that point, something she rarely did, but the intriguing main character pulled her along.
"Loss and redemption."
"And the dangers of allowing yourself to care about people. I liked the imagery of the seasons changing. That helped balance out the loss."
"That's one way of looking at it."
Tired of his noncommittal comments, Cassie decided to let the subject drop.
After a period of silence, he asked, "How's your research going?"
He certainly had a knack for saying the wrong thing to her, even when he managed to be polite. "It's a little frustrating at the moment." She stared out the window into the darkness, hoping he wouldn't follow up on it.
"I'm sorry to hear that." He was quiet for a moment, guiding the car past a series of blind curves. "The work itself, or what you're finding?"
"The results aren't what I'd hoped for." Why was she telling him this, rather than a polite lie? Calder Westing would be the last person of her acquaintance to understand her dilemma. He never had to worry where the next dollar was coming from.
"That must be disappointing."
"Yes." She risked a glance over at him. His eyes were on the road, and his profile showed nothing. Perhaps
that
was why she was telling him. He was a long way from academia, and he wouldn't understand the implications for her.
"Will it be a problem for you?"
"It could be. I need good results. There aren't a lot of jobs out there for marine biologists who don't get tenure. At least not jobs I could take. I couldn't work for the fishing industry."
"No, I suppose not. There's still time, though, isn't there?"
"Yes." She was silent for a moment. It was too easy to feel close to him, too easy to forget who he was when they talked like this. She forced cheerfulness into her voice. "Anyway, that's why I wanted distraction tonight. The bioluminescence is something special, you'll see."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"This is where you turn in, right up here." She indicated where he should park and made her escape from the car as soon as she could. She was embarrassed to have confided her troubles to him. What did he care whether she got results or even whether she got tenure? It was a million miles from his world.
She took her towel from the back seat. Scott's car was already there. "It looks like they've gone ahead without us. We have to walk from here."
She unclipped a small flashlight from her belt and led the way to the path through the woods. The silence of the nighttime descended on her, bringing its own peace, and she relaxed, letting go of her worries for a few minutes. At least Calder knew when to be quiet. A few minutes' walk brought them into the marsh. Cassie stopped by a stand of bushes, plucking a leaf and crushing it between her fingers, then raising it to her face to breathe in the fragrant scent.
She could sense Calder's questioning look. "Bayberry," she said in a hushed voice, as if too much noise might chase away the magic of the moment. "The leaves have a beautiful scent when you rub them." She held out the leaf to him.
Instead of taking the leaf from her, he took her hand in his and brought it to his face, inhaling deeply. A shock of awareness ran down Cassie's arm, and the sensation of his warm breath against her hand almost made her shiver. Her hand was intimately poised no more than an inch from his lips.
"Beautiful." He released her hand.
Discomposed by her reaction to him, she turned back to the path and began walking a little faster than was prudent in the darkness. She chastised herself for responding to a meaningless touch, reminding herself that women were a dime a dozen for Calder Westing. Besides, half the time she didn't even like the man.
They finally emerged from the rustling marsh grass onto the beach. It was deserted, as she expected. At the far north end of the marsh, several houses stood along the water, but they were across the river. To the south there was nothing but more marsh and sand. Cassie could barely make out two figures far down the beach. It was fine for Erin to want to be alone with Scott, but she wished her friend would consider the position it left her in with Calder. Still, she wouldn't let his presence interfere with her enjoyment. She put down her towel and kicked off her shoes.
"Where do we change?" asked Calder.
Cassie smiled to herself. Culture shock again. Well, he was the one who invited himself along on this adventure. "You're welcome to change anywhere you like, and I promise not to look. However, personally I think it's a waste of a moonless night to bother with a swimsuit, and I wasn't expecting company, so I didn't bring one." Before she lost her nerve, she stripped off her T-shirt with what she hoped was a casual air. Her shorts and underclothes quickly followed, and she walked to the water's edge before casting an impish glance over her shoulder at the still fully-clad man behind her.
Calder made no effort to disguise that he was watching her. No, if Cassie Boulton was going to voluntarily take off her clothing in front of him, he was damned if he wasn't going to enjoy the view. After all, she hadn't said anything about not looking at her.
If she were any other woman, he would have interpreted her playful smile as an invitation, but he had the strong suspicion that if Cassie wanted something from him, she wouldn't bother with subtlety. That look was a dare. He watched her gently swaying body as she walked out into the water, his eyes lingering on her graceful curves, appreciating even her pronounced shiver when the water level reached her breasts. She didn't look back at him again, but instead seemed to become fascinated with the movements of her hands, running them through the dark water surrounding her.
Regardless of what his intellect said, his body insisted on responding to a situation it clearly felt should be acted upon. He fiercely damned the fact that she was precisely the sort of woman he shouldn't become involved with. He hated the thought that in two weeks he would leave and never again see that look of challenge flashing in her eyes. Why did the one woman he wanted in his life and in his bed have to be one his family would never accept?
If he couldn't have her, at least he could go out to her and look his fill. Stripping off his clothes with no more caution than she, he waded out into the water, grateful it would hide his arousal by the time he reached her.
Once the water was deep enough, he could see the bioluminescence. It wasn't the bright glow he'd expected, but rather sparks of light that appeared where the water contacted his body. Normally he would have watched it with interest, but now his thoughts were fixed on Cassie, who wore a look of enchanting happiness. She twirled around in front of him, her arms outstretched, tiny sparkles of light outlining her limbs as she moved. "It's magical, isn't it?"
He smiled slightly. "I thought it was science."
She laughed and deliberately splashed water at him. It flickered as it left her fingers and again as it ran down his chest, and he began to understand her delight in it. "It's dinoflagellates. I can explain it step by step, but it's more fun if you think it's magic."
"Ah, so it's science
and magic," he
replied loftily, just to see her smile.
"Here." She took his wrist in her hand. "Move your arm back and forth like this, and wiggle your fingers, and you'll get a light show. It's nice in long hair, too." She dunked her head underwater and swirled it around, creating a glittering net of tiny diamonds in her hair. She reemerged, smiling and looking like a naiad as the glittering water drained off her.
He was entranced by the visual spectacle of the lights outlining the curves of her body as she spun around once more. Stopping, she looked up at him and splashed him again. "Didn't anyone ever teach you how to play?" she asked with amused exasperation.
No,
he thought,
no one ever did.
"I like watching you play."
His deep voice made Cassie suddenly aware of his physical presence. She looked out to sea, newly conscious of the sensuousness of the water moving along her bare skin and the mildly arousing sensation of it caressing her breasts, so different from when she wore a swimsuit. She hoped he couldn't tell what she was feeling. "Well, you're going to have to amuse yourself somehow, because I'm going to swim out to deeper water."