Marian Keyes - Watermelon (43 page)

"Oh, Claire," he said gently, taking my hand in his. "Would you relax? Who knows what's going to happen in a year's time? I'll worry about that when I come to it. Can't we just live in the now for a little while?"

I said nothing.

I was thinking.

He was right, I decided.

When happiness makes a guest appearance in one's life, it's important to make the most of it. It may not stay around for long and when it has gone wouldn't it be terrible to think that all the time one could have been happy was wasted worrying about when that happiness would be taken away?

414 WATERMELON

"So, if I could get to the main point of my visit," he continued, suddenly very brisk. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course." I smiled.

"If I'm being too forward, please stop me," he said, all self-deprecating charm. "But do you think it would be possible for us to meet each other some time in London? Perhaps we could share a baby-sitter? And, of course, any time you need a baby-sitter, I'll be only too happy to oblige."

"Thank you, Adam," I said politely. "I would love to see you in London. And, of course, if you too should need a baby-sitter, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Seriously," he said, his voice dropped several octaves. "This is very important to me. Will we really be able to see each other in London?"

"Of course," I said, laughing. "I'd love to see you."

I looked up and caught his eye. When I saw the look on his face--admir- ation, like, almost certainly lust. In fact, there might even have been love--the smile froze on my face.

"Oh, Claire," he breathed as he bent to kiss me. "I've missed you."

It was at this point that Kate decided that she'd had enough of being ig- nored and started up like a police siren.

At the same time Helen burst through the door and stopped abruptly when she saw us. She took in the pair of us sitting on the bed. Adam holding my hand, my head raised for Adam's kiss, and she said slowly, "I don't fucking believe it."

I braced myself for the onslaught.

Retribution would be both swift and terrible.

I looked at my feet and I was horrified to hear her crying.

Helen? Crying? Surely some mistake. It was unheard of!

I looked up at her, filled with remorse and compassion. I was almost in tears myself.

And then I realized that she wasn't crying.

The bitch was laughing!

She laughed and laughed. "You and Adam," she said, shaking her head, tears of laughter pouring down her face. "The shame of it."

"Why?" I demanded, all annoyed compassion and remorse quickly for- gotten. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing." She laughed. "Nothing. But you're so old

415 Marian Keyes

and..." She stopped, unable to speak, she found it all so funny. "The look on your face! You looked terrified. And I thought he liked me!" she ex- claimed, and she was off again. It was all so hilarious that she couldn't even stand straight. She leaned up against the wall and then doubled over.

I sat and stared coldly at her while Kate wailed like a banshee.

Adam looked slightly bemused.

If there was something funny, then I certainly couldn't see it.

I picked up Kate before she burst a blood vessel and nodded to Adam. "Talk to Helen," I suggested.

Adam unfolded himself and left the room after Helen.

I rocked Kate in my arms and tried to soothe her. She was a lovely child, but, I swear to God, sometimes her timing was so off.

I could hear Helen laughing all the way down the stairs.

And a while later she arrived back in.

"You fucking bitch," she said cheerfully, sitting down on the bed beside me. "You had us all fooled. Pretending to be totally heartbroken about James and all the time you had the hots for Adam."

"No, Helen..." I protested weakly. "It wasn't like that."

She ignored me. She had more important things on her mind.

"What's he like?" she said, drawing conspiratorially nearer to me and dropping her voice several decibels. "Has he got a big one?"

"What kind of a question is that?" I asked, pretending to be horrified.

"I won't tell anyone," she lied.

"Helen!" I said, my head swimming slightly. I think I would have pre- ferred it if she had been furious with me. Now I'd have to put up with her being my best friend so that she could find out what Adam was like in bed so that she could tell everyone.

"Where is he anyway?" I asked her.

"In the kitchen sucking up to Mum. But never mind that," she said en- thusiastically. "I think he loves you."

"Oh, Helen, go away," I said, starting to feel exhausted.

416 WATERMELON

"No, really, I do," she promised.

"Really?" I asked tentatively. I was such a sucker. I shouldn't have listened to anything she said. At my age I really should have had more sense.

"Yes," she said, sounding unusually serious.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because he had a huge hard-on when he was talking about you just now." Then she screamed with laughter. "I really got you going there, didn't I?"

"Oh, go away, would you?" I said.

I'd had enough for one day.

"Sorry," sniggered Helen. "No, I am, I promise. I do think he loves you. I really do. And let's face it, if anyone's an expert on men being in love, it's me."

She had a point.

"Do you love him?" she demanded.

"I don't know," I said awkwardly. "I don't really know him well enough to say. But I like him a lot. Will that do?"

"It'll have to," she said thoughtfully. "I hope you do love each other. I hope you'll be happy together."

"Gosh, thank you, Helen," I said, really touched. Tears sprang to my eyes. I was overwhelmed by her good wishes.

"Yes," she said vaguely. "I've a bet on with that cow Melissa Saint that she won't get a date with him before the end of the summer. I was actually starting to get a bit worried but this is great. A godsend. She hasn't a hope now because you'll keep him well out of her way.

"That's the easiest bet I ever won," she said, rubbing her hands together gleefully. "Yes," she continued, sounding very pleased. "I must say this has all worked out very well. Very well indeed."

417

MARIAN KEYES is Irish, but lived in London for ten years before returning to Dublin. She is the author of six novels: Watermelon, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married, Rachel's Holiday, Last Chance Saloon, An- gels, and Sushi for Beginners.

Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins author.

Watermelon

"A grand first novel.... A hilarious treatise on love's roller coasters.... A candid, irresistibly funny debut and perfect summertime read."

--Kirkus Reviews

"Watermelon introduces readers to the trials and tribulations of an irresistible, and suddenly single, heroine."

--Houston Chronicle

"An eccentric romantic comedy full of wicked good humor."

--New York Times Book Review

Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

"Keyes's tale is both hilarious and suspenseful, and so warmly told it feels just like comfy girl talk with a cherished friend."

--Booklist

"The effervescent narrative is fueled by witty repartee.... Its sentiments are heartfelt and its progress sprightly."

--Publishers Weekly Rachel's Holiday

"Irresistibly funny."

--Seattle Times

"Compelling.... Genuinely satisfying.... [A] delightful novel.... Rachel is an endearing character.... Hilarious and surprisingly charming."

--USA Today

"Hilarious but poignant.... A marvelous journey.... A delightful page-turner.... Keyes's third novel is her most serious and yet her funniest."

--Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Last Chance Saloon

"Wonderful.... Keyes is a master at fleshing out wacky young characters whom most of us would love to have as a best friend--charming and brave and flawed enough to feel validly human."

--Newark Star-Ledger

"Sidesplitting.... Exciting until the very last page."

--Redbook

Angels

Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

Rachel's Holiday

Last Chance Saloon

Cover design by Eric Fuentecilla Cover illustration by Beth Adams

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher. WATERMELON. Copyright � 1995 by Marian Keyes. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books. HarperCollins e-books and the HarperCollins e-books logo are trademarks of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. Adobe Acrobat eBook Reader April 2006 ISBN 0-06-119401-8 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Keyes, Marian. Watermelon: a novel/ Marian Keyes. 1st Perennial ed.

p. cm. ISBN 0-06-009036-7 20

Australia HarperCollins Publishers (Australia) Pty. Ltd. 25 Ryde Road (PO Box 321) Pymble, NSW 2073, Australia http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com.au

Canada HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. 55 Avenue Road, Suite 2900 Toronto, ON, M5R, 3L2, Canada http://www.harpercollinsebooks.ca

New Zealand HarperCollinsPublishers (New Zealand) Limited P.O. Box 1 Auckland, New Zealand http://www.harpercollinsebooks.co.nz

United Kingdom HarperCollins Publishers Ltd. 77-85 Fulham Palace Road London, W6 8JB, UK http://www.uk.harpercollinsebooks.com

United States HarperCollins Publishers Inc. 10 East 53rd Street New York, NY 10022 http://www.harpercollinsebooks.com