Marigold Chain (46 page)

He thought for
a moment, aware that there was really only thing he wanted to say
but that if he said it now, he risked a similar reaction to when
he’d blurted it out before. This time he had to get it right. This
time, nothing could be left to chance. This time she had to believe
him. And that meant clearing the ground first.

He said, ‘I
think perhaps we might start by exploding a few misconceptions – if
you don’t mind humouring me?’ Chloë nodded and, leaning back in his
chair, hands clasped lightly on the table, Alex said, ‘That night
on the Falcon Stairs, I told you that you were the last woman I’d
kissed. Did you believe me?’

Her brows rose.
Whatever else she’d expected, it wasn’t this. ‘Yes.’

‘
Why?
Forgive my bluntness, but I basically told you I hadn’t had a woman
for at least six months and you
believed
me?’

‘
Yes. You
may not always tell the whole truth – but I don’t think I’ve ever
known you to lie. So of course I believed you.’

‘
Thank
you.’ He smiled crookedly. ‘At least you know I’m not a rake,
then.’

‘
That’s
true.’ She tilted her head and smiled back at him, suddenly calm.
‘I hadn’t quite thought of it that way.’

‘
No.’ He
paused, struggling to find the words ‘And the other evening when I
made a lamentably clumsy attempt to … how shall I put it? … when I
-- ?’

‘
Pounced,’ supplied Chloë before she could stop
herself.

Alex gave
a tiny choke of laughter. ‘Very well. When I
pounced
on you … did you wonder if that was a
result of a sudden and overwhelming fit of non-specific
lust?’

‘
You mean
did I think you were desperate and I just happened to be handy? It
crossed my mind, yes.’ She eyed him amiably. ‘But I decided that,
after eight months of celibacy, you were entitled to a small lapse.
Then again, if you really
were
crazed with lust, I imagine you’d probably have come straight
to the point, as it were. So I decided it wasn’t worth worrying
about.’

This time
Alex stared at her as if he couldn’t quite believe his ears.
Finally, he said, ‘And people think
I
say outrageous things.’

‘
And so
you do. Sometimes.’ She grinned. ‘Perhaps it’s
catching.’

‘
God, I
hope not!’ Rising, he pulled off his coat and tossed it aside, then
moved round the table to take the chair beside her. ‘If it wasn’t
worth worrying about, why did you crack a bottle over my
head?’

This was also
unexpected but Chloë kept her nerve and, shaking her head, said,
‘If you don’t know, you can’t have thought about it properly.’

‘
I’ve
thought about it,’ he said, his eyes suddenly serious, ‘but the
only reason I can come up with is the one I don’t want to talk
about just yet.’ He hesitated and then said abruptly, ‘Giles told
me that Sarah came here. What did she say to you?’

Chloë drew a
long breath and released it. ‘She said you would marry her.’

‘
And did
you believe her?’

‘
I – I
don’t know. I thought that perhaps you might.’

Silence
stretched out on invisible threads before Alex spoke with careful
detachment.

‘
And if I
did … would you mind?’

She looked him
in the eye. ‘Yes. I would. She’s selfish and vain and downright
nasty.’

‘
I know.
But is that the only reason?’

‘
Not
entirely. Matt would never stand for it,’ she replied as flippantly
as she was able. And then, realising what he’d said, ‘What do you
mean – you know?’

Alex shrugged.
‘I know what she is. I’ve known for a long time. And if she was the
last woman in the world, I’d join a monastery. But she won’t
trouble us again. That’s why I went to see her that night – to put
an end to her importunities once and for all.’ Reaching out, he
took Chloë’s hand and toyed with her wedding band. ‘Your remark
just now about Matthew … I recall saying quite a number of stupid
things to you the other night – but, as you very well know, I
wasn’t particularly sober. So it really isn’t very kind of you to
throw my idiocies in my teeth.’

Chloë frowned.
‘I wasn’t. And I’m perfectly well aware that you weren’t drunk,
just bone-tired – and that you’re not an habitual sot. I’ve only
ever seen you hopelessly drunk once and that was - - ‘ She stopped
short.

‘
And that
was on the night of our wedding,’ he finished pleasantly. ‘Quite.
Do you despise me for it?’

‘
No! How
could I? It is I who should never have agreed to it.’

Alex continued
to turn her wedding ring on her finger, his eyes never leaving her
face.

‘
So why
did you?’

‘
W-what?’
Chloë wondered how she’d failed to foresee this
question.

‘
Why did
you marry me?’

‘
We’ve
been through this before. You know why.’

A strange smile
crossed his face. ‘All right. Why did you suggest the
annulment?’

‘
You know
that, too,’ she said evasively.

‘
Perhaps
– perhaps not.’ He released her hand. ‘Chloë … I’m sorry, but we
can’t go on ducking the issue. We have to discuss it.’

She stared at
him forebodingly. ‘Now?’

‘
Yes –
now.’ Unable to sit still any longer, he rose and crossed to the
fireplace. Then, turning he said, ‘I tried to broach this subject a
week ago but with a crassness for which I can only apologise.
Forget, if you can, the reasons I gave you then – for only one was
the absolute truth. Everything else was an attempt to test the
water without committing myself and none of it came out right.’ He
paused and dragged his eyes away from the curve of her throat and
the silky perfection of her bare shoulders. ‘But before we go any
further, you have to tell me if you still wish to proceed with the
annulment.’

For one very
good reason, Chloë found herself unable to comply with this request
so, avoiding his gaze, she made yet another attempt at evasion.

‘
I don’t
understand why you want to know.’

‘
And
I
don’t understand
why you won’t answer me,’ he responded tartly. ‘It’s a simple
enough question, after all. Yes or no, would do.’ He paused and
then said, ‘I’m sorry if I sound sharp but this has to stop. There
is only one reason for two people remaining needlessly tied to one
another and it has to be mutual. If one is the victim of the
other’s overwhelming passion, the situation would become
impossible.’

‘
Oh God
,’ thought Chloë. ‘
He knows
.’ And leaving her seat, she turned
blindly away to the dresser. ‘Yes, I can quite see that – and of
course I’ll release you. Have some brandy.’

Swift and
soundless, Mr Deveril followed her, one flawed but still beautiful
hand imprisoning hers around the neck of the squat, green bottle.
He was so close that Chloë could feel his warmth against her back;
she stared at the hand enclosing hers while every nerve in her body
demanded what it now seemed she would never have.

‘
Chloë,
no.’ The pleasant voice was brittle. ‘It’s not I that am trapped –
it’s you. What I’m trying to tell you is that, for me, this
half-marriage of ours is no longer enough.’

Her mind was
working very slowly and his meaning escaped her but she grasped at
the small ray of light which offered her the only thing she’d ever
realistically hoped for.

‘
You mean
you want me to go to bed with you?’

‘
Christ!
’ he said raggedly. ‘You have no
idea.’

‘
If that
means yes, you could seduce me,’ she suggested helpfully. ‘You
already know you wouldn’t find it very difficult.’

‘
Yes.
Perhaps.’ Alex drew a long, unsteady breath. ‘But that’s not
enough. I love you.’

There was a
dizzy, earth-shaking pause while the words filtered dimly into
Chloë’s brain. Then, ‘What did you say?’ she asked faintly.

Releasing her
hand, Alex swung her round to face him.

‘
Look at
me,’ he said. And when her eyes rose to his, ‘Look at me and try to
believe me. I said that I love you. And I do – in every way it’s
possible. Beside you, every woman I ever knew is but a shadow, a
phrase, a single note; you are the flesh and the poem. And my
heart’s song.’ He paused and then resumed carefully. ‘I asked what
you wanted in order to spare you an outpouring of possibly unwanted
emotion – but it’s too late for that now. You should understand
that I don’t want to give you up but I don’t think I can go on as
we are. My feelings for you are not mild – and I’d be less than
fair if I didn’t point out that I can’t promise to stick to our
original bargain. I’m no catch, I know; I’m intemperate and often
bloody impossible. And if … if you let our marriage stand, I can’t
even promise that you’ll never regret it – only that I’ll try not
to give you cause. If you loved me, that might be enough. If not …
oh God, if not then say so now and let’s get the sodding
annulment.’

Seconds ticked
by in silence. Chloë neither moved nor spoke but remained as if
frozen, staring into the anguished candour of the blue eyes. Then,
just when Alex thought he’d lost, she laid one hand gently against
his cheek and said, ‘I don’t want an annulment. I never wanted it.
I only wanted you. That’s why I hit you over the head. I thought
you’d have realised.’

He frowned and
said slowly, ‘I must be very slow - because I still don’t.’

‘
If we’d
gone to bed together that night, there’d have been no question of
an annulment. And I had to be sure you still had a
choice.’

A tiny flush
touched his skin and the bright gaze widened, searching her
face.

‘
And
now?’

She smiled.
‘Now it doesn’t matter. You wanted the truth. And the truth is that
I loved you from the first time we met – and when you kissed me in
that horrid alley, I knew that I did.’

Alex stared at
her, his hands tightening on her shoulders.

‘
I’ve
tried so hard these past few weeks to think that you cared for me
just a little – but I never dreamed … ‘ He stopped. ‘Perhaps I’ve
been blind – but I can’t imagine what you could have seen in me.
Are you … are you quite sure?’

‘
Utterly,
totally, irrevocably sure.’ Touched by his lack of vanity, she slid
her arms around him and leant her head against his shoulder; and,
as he gathered her closer, she said, ‘As for what I saw in you that
first time, I really don’t know. I didn’t for quite a long time
even though what I felt didn’t change. It was only later, when I
came to know you that I understood – and by then it was too late.’
She looked up, drowning in the warmth and scent of him. ‘If a
hundred or even a thousand well-behaved men queued up to offer me
their hands, there would still only be you. Always and forever. I
love you and I want you and … and are you ever going to kiss
me?’

Alex smiled
down into her upturned face, for once beyond words. Then he slid
his fingers into her hair and, bending his head, forged a trail of
tiny kisses from cheekbone to jaw before finally seeking her mouth
like a man parched. Drowning in sweetness, Chloë gasped and twined
her hands around his neck to press herself even closer. He had
kissed her before and it had been enough to steal her heart … but
not like this. Never with a passion that out-rivalled her own and
sent sparks racing through her veins.

Eventually and
with extreme reluctance, Alex released her mouth and looked deep
into dilated brown eyes. There was no fear in them, no constraint;
only an echo of his own need. He said, ‘Chloë? If it’s too soon –
if you want to wait – ‘

‘
No,’ she
said with a smile that stopped his breath. ‘No. We’ve waited long
enough.’

‘
Come,
then.’ And lifting her easily in his arms, he carried her, laughing
a little, into the hall and was just setting foot on the stairs
when he spied Mr Lewis emerging from the kitchen. Pausing, Alex
said, ‘Repel all boarders, Matt. I don’t care who they are. Even if
it’s the King himself, just send him on his way.’

Matthew grinned
and settled himself on a chair in the corner.

‘
Right
you are, then,’ he said. And pulling a bit of wood from his pocket,
embarked calmly on some serious whittling.

Alex,
meanwhile, had sailed on up the stairs and into Chloë’s
bedchamber.

‘
It’s
tidier than mine,’ he murmured absently, ‘and it has both a lock
and a bolt.’ He set Chloë on her feet and let his hands stray
lingeringly over her shoulders. Then she was in his arms
again.

He kissed her
hair, her eyelids, her throat while his hands unhurriedly smoothed
away the ribbons and laces. The peacock gown slithered to the floor
allowing his mouth to explore her shoulders; then, a little later,
her petticoats followed it and he lifted her out of them before
taking his time over the curve of her waist. Shaken by pulses and
clad only in her shift, Chloë slid her hands beneath his shirt
until Alex pulled it off over his head and tossed it aside, leaving
her free to discover the hard contours of his chest. He paused for
a moment, the intense ice-blue gaze resting on her mouth with an
expression that sent heat flooding through her body; and then,
sliding the shift slowly from her shoulders to leave her wearing
only the marigold chain, lifted her on to the bed and spoke for the
first time.