Marine Cadet (The Human Legion Book 1) (59 page)

“Then the frakk-up when someone rigged the training session on
Fort Douaumont
against us,” said Madge. “We still don’t know why. And the rebellion. The Aux. Osman and Cristina dying. Our posting here at some whimsy of your alien friend, which has cut us off from the training system. A lot has happened in a short space of time.”

“What we’re saying,” added Zug, “is that we’ve gone through a period of transition. We can no longer pretend to live in a world where innocence is permitted.”

“So, what you’re saying is that… what? We’ve all gone through drent and I should shut the frakk up because I’m too childish?”

Zug held Arun’s furious gaze for a few moments before replying. “Yes, that is what I’m saying.”

“Fine! You can all go vulley yourselves. Maybe Xin is a pathetic fantasy. Yes, she’s out of my league. And I do see that Springer is beautiful and loving and better than I could ever deserve or hope to find in another woman, but at least I still think of love. My body is still capable of feeling passion. Is yours, Zug? Who do you dream about at night? I hear nothing from you. I don’t even know whether you prefer women or men.”

“Then your powers of observation are limited,” said Zug.

Arun ground his jaw. “What about you, Del-Marie? There was a time when you would be forever sneaking off to spend time with Barnard. Now that he’s stuck back in Detroit, you never mention his name. Weren’t you in love?”

“I loved him very much.” There was a catch to Del-Marie’s voice. “But he loved me a little less it seems. I do not blame you for our exile to this exhausting little moon, but like it or not, it is a fact that we have been banished. It would take great sacrifice for Barnard to wait for me. Barnard is of the opinion that one must take one’s pleasures where one can, while you still can, for we could all die tomorrow.”

“I thought it was only Umarov who thought like that,” said Arun.

Zug tapped Arun on shoulder. “Barnard was a member of the execution squad too.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“Yes, well I’m not surprised,” said Del-Marie. “That’s kind of my point. Anyway, as Barnard says, we have to take one’s pleasures where we can. I have an attachment with Jimmy Hellenstein now.”

Arun knew Big Jim from Bolt Squad. Was scared of him, to be honest. “I’m glad to hear that you’re happy,” said Arun. “Happ-
ier
,” he corrected himself when he saw misery cloud Del-Marie’s face.

That was
it!
Arun was furious with his squadmates and disgusted with himself. He abandoned his chow and stormed off.

Del called it exile, but one good thing about the Antilles posting was being at liberty to wander the fast-expanding base, and having gaps in the daily schedule to take advantage of that freedom. Arun intended to check out the new lower level but only made a few hundred meters through the winding tunnels when he came across Jimmy Hellenstein coming the other way.

“Hey,” said Arun in greeting. Since the violence of their arrival, the two squads had developed a rough accommodation with each other. It wasn’t friendship. Not yet.

Jimmy nodded back.

“Errm.” Arun felt he needed to say something but had no idea what. He wished Springer were here. “Look, ah, Hellenstein…”

Jimmy halted in front of Arun, looming over like an instructor about to chew out a novice, studying him. Judging. Jimmy was a good six inches taller than Arun and probably about the same wider at the shoulders. Arun felt like a child in comparison.

“It’s Del-Marie,” said Arun. “I’ve just left him at our chow hall. He’s had a hard time and he’s feeling it today. You will look after him, won’t you?”

Jimmy gave a slight nod. He looked away for a moment. He seemed to be thinking over something, was about to say something to Arun but then thought better of it. Instead he rested a hand on Arun’s shoulder.

“I have a message for you from Xin,” he said. “She wants you to meet her in our dorm chamber.”

Jimmy leaned in slightly and spoke with menace into Arun’s ear. “Xin is in my section.” He tightened his grip on Arun’s shoulder. “I expect
you
to look after
her
.”

Arun swallowed hard. Did Jimmy’s message mean what he hoped it did? Jimmy was still leering down him, his expression hardening.

“Yes,” said Arun hurriedly. “Xin means a lot to me. I would never do anything to hurt her.” Then he remembered that he was the reason Xin was on the moon. He added quickly: “Not on purpose.”

Jimmy, gave a hard stare back. After a few seconds, he relaxed a little and nodded. “Make sure you don’t.” Then he sighed and seemed to loosen. “Go to her now,” he added, with something approaching warmth in his voice.

Then he walked off. Arun detected no joy in his gait. He hoped Del-Marie would be okay.

As soon as Jimmy had turned the corner and was out of sight, Arun forgot about Del’s troubles.

He ran to Xin.

Xin was waiting on her rack, hugging her knees and deep in contemplation.

The adjoining dorm chambers were surprisingly full of Bolters, either pumped with excitement or as lost in thought as Xin. Something was up, but all Arun cared was that the rest of Xin’s section had made themselves scarce. They were close enough to privacy for Arun to screw up his courage and sit beside her, stretching an arm around her shoulder.

She looked up at him with mournful eyes. He expected her to shrug him off, but she dipped her head and leaned into his embrace, shifting until her head nestled comfortably against his shoulder.

Through the thin material of her shirt, Arun’s touch electrified to the feel of her muscle and bone as her shoulder gently rose and fell with her breathing.

And so they sat in silence, huddled together on a rack in a Trog-chewed underground hole under an airless moon.

This wasn’t how Arun had imagined this moment at all.

Take your pleasures where you can.
Umarov would laugh at him forever if he hesitated now.

Taking a deep breath, Arun slid his hand under Xin’s chin and gently lifted her, gazing into those dark eyes that had been the focus of so many dreams.

He meant to kiss her but… those eyes… they were deep wells of sadness.

Suddenly he understood.
Taking your pleasures where you could –
it had never occurred to him that
he
would be the pleasure being taken, the reason why Xin had summoned him.

He drew back. “What’s wrong?”

She rubbed at his lips with her thumb, as if wiping them clean of words she did not want to hear.

“Not now,” she said. “Not yet.”

Then fire of her spirit ignited. The old Xin was back, pushing him back onto the rack, kissing him all the way down.

They rolled and squeezed, pressing up against each other in a frantic melee of hair, and lips, and limbs.

But as quickly as her passion had flared, it now guttered and went out, stranding Arun in Xin’s stiff embrace.

He laughed. Whenever he dreamed of making love with Xin, clothing never seemed to exist. Now that he was lying on her rack in real life, not only were they both dressed, but his feet were still encased in dusty boots.

“Sorry,” he said when he noticed her following his gaze down to his footwear.

“So you should be,” she replied in mock anger. She scooted down the bed and removed his boots. After a salacious glance that Arun took care to commit to long-term memory, she loosened his pants and proceeded to strip him naked.

As soon as she was done, Xin darted under the covers. Arun dove in after her and started yanking off her clothes too.

She squirmed and gasped in playful protest, any resistance only part of her fun.

When they were naked together, his fingertips traced lazy circles up the softness of her inner thigh.

That didn’t get the reaction Arun was after. She went rigid.

He’d pushed too far!

But then she leaned back on folded arms and released a long, long sigh — one of tension released rather than erotic passion.

“That’s it, twinkle eyes,” she whispered. “Keep doing that, and never stop…”

——

“I have to go,” said Arun about an hour later, with as much relish as the condemned walking to their place of execution.

Xin leaned over and looked him in the eye. “Stay.”

“I can’t be AWOL. Not even for you.”

“Stay till the end, Arun. Hellenstein was on his way to see Del-Marie Sandure. So your unit will know. They’ll understand that you should be here.”

“It’s not my crew who bother me. Sergeant Gupta and Corporal Majanita—”

“Will understand.”

Arun sighed. “It’s time. You need to explain.”

Xin spent several seconds searching for the right words. She looked up at the roof, ignoring Arun. “Bolt Squad will embark on the transport shuttle leaving Docking Bay 2 at 05:30. Destination: fleet transport
Themistocles
.”

“What is your role on
Themistocles
?” he said carefully, dreading the answer.

“The G-year and G-1 year companies of 8th depot battalion have been detached to form the 87th field battalion. My cadet years are already over, Arun. We’ve all graduated. All my life I’ve wanted to earn my place out in the stars as a Marine. I want to go but… only when I was ready. I was having a blast back in Detroit.”

He kissed her sad eyes. “Scared?” he asked

“A little. It’s whatever threat is making them rush us out when we’re not ready. No one is saying what that is, but it can’t be good.”

Arun gave her a nod, as if he understood what she was going through. He embraced her against his chest and held her there.

Jimmy Hellenstein and the rest of Xin’s section returned soon after. They made a show of ignoring Arun and Xin.

Xin tapped Arun on the head. “Don’t mind them,” she said. “Will you stay with me until I embark?”

Arun nearly said she ought to be spending the time with her comrades. Then he remembered she’d been transferred because of Pedro’s interference. Her friends were still back on Detroit. She knew Arun better than anyone else on this little world.

From along the dorm warren, a boisterous group of newly minted Marines launched into song.

“Of course,” he said. “Let’s join in the fun.”

Early the next morning, Arun accompanied Xin as far as the broad transit corridor that zigzagged its way to the embarkation point for Xin and the other Bolter Marines. Waving Xin off at the shuttle airlock, like a distraught parent, would hardly help her settle into her new role. So he hung back at the junction, applying a gentle pressure to her shoulder.

She came to a halt, turning around but not able to meet his eyes.

Xin needed him. Arun knew that. But however hard he tried to find words that would boost her morale, everything that reached the threshold of his lips sounded too trite to speak.

Eventually it fell to Xin to squeeze his hand and break the silence. “Things happen around you, McEwan. I like that about you. And you
are
kind of cute. But there’s another reason why I want to stay close to you.

“Shush!” He pressed a finger hard against her full lips. “You and I are special. You know that, right? Well, so do I.”

Xin’s eyes went wide. He had to stifle laughter because she looked farcical with wide eyes and his finger still on her lips.

Then she gave a curt nod of understanding. How much did she really understand? Had she too talked with the Night Hummer?

“No need for us to brag about it,” he said, withdrawing his finger.

“We’ll be each other’s little secret,” she breathed acting the part of an impassioned secret lover. “Fate is about to separate us. But we must do everything we can to let each other know where we are. One day, I believe, we
will
be reunited. Our destinies are entwined.”

Then something happened that Arun would never forget but neither could he ever explain how it came about. Maybe Xin’s words were too close to revealing the truth and he needed to shut her up. Perhaps he wanted to test how much of her lover’s act was rooted in truth. Whatever the reason, he found he had swept his lips against hers and she was responding and kissing him greedily. She slid one hand around his neck, resting the other on the small of his back. Arun was barely conscious of his hands, and cared less about the Marines flowing around them on their way to the shuttle; his attention was limited to the brush of her lips, the warmth of her mouth

When, eventually, they broke, it was only to take a quarter step back so that Xin could rest her gaze in Arun’s.

Arun chose to believe Xin’s feelings were genuine.

They stood there in silence — for how long, even Arun’s time counters couldn’t tell — until they were disturbed by the rattle of an ore-laden truck coming along the hover-rail out in the main corridor. With blinking eyes (was that a tear?) Xin mournfully cast down her gaze and walked away with head high, and kitbag over her shoulder.

She didn’t look back.

Arun didn’t look away. Not until Xin had disappeared around a turn in the tunnel.

Sighing, he made his way back to his comrades. Keeping Xin as an impossible fantasy lover would have been so much simpler.

He shrugged, managing a grin.

Simplicity was overrated.

With over an hour to go before reveille, Arun’s section should have been asleep, but when Arun slunk back into his dorm chamber, he was surprised to be greeted by a ragged cheer.

Umarov had activated his nuclear-powered snore, oblivious to the universe, but the others were drifting in a place between light slumber and quiet contemplation. Not Del-Marie, though. He looked drained of blood.

Of course. Jim had been here, to say his farewells to Del.

“How was it?” Madge asked Arun.

Arun frowned unsure of the answer himself. “Not at all what I expected,” he replied. “Intense. Painful.”

Madge nodded back. “Tough luck, brother. I envy you. Can you believe that?”

“I’m not sure I can, corporal.”

“You only had a brief time with her, Arun, but… You’ve come away with a powerful memory you can treasure forever. Of all of us here, only Del can claim to have experienced anything like that.”