Marked. Part II: Becoming Noah Baxter (5 page)

Chapter 9

Friday, February 21

10:46pm

My phone vibrates on the side table next to me. A quick glance tells me that it's Jay.

My family is currently engrossed in a movie and doesn't notice when I duck out of the room, scurrying to my bedroom.

“
Hello?” I whisper as I shut the door behind me.

“
Lily,” Jay breathes out like he's been waiting his whole damn life to hear my voice.

I hop onto my bed, “Hi, I'm glad you called.” I'm keeping my voice low, hoping to not disturb my family and make them aware I left.

“Oh, god, baby,” he moans in complete distress, as though my voice physically torments him.

I sit rigid on my bed, “What? What's going on? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am now,” the words seem to strangle out of his mouth into the speaker.

I can tell he needs me, that something is not right, “
How can I help?”

“
You. All I need is you,” he says, more as an exhausted sigh. “Tell me about your day. All of it. Every last detail.”

I tell him every minute detail, from what I ate for breakfast to the clients I'd encountered to the movie I had started watching. I could practically feel his stress releasing with every word that left my mouth. I intentionally leave out our new neighbor who continually happens to be everywhere I am, not wanting to make his mood worse, figuring I'll tell him when he's not so stressed. 

“Jay?” I ask when I'm finished.

“
Yeah?”

“
I love you,” I say, wanting him to know.

He makes a strangled grunting noise.

“You can tell me about your day too. It's okay,” I encourage.

“
I...it's just...”

I can tell he wants to, but he doesn't know how. He's not used to opening up to someone.

“Did somebody piss you off? Do I need to come there and kick some ass?”

The sound of his laughter is rainbows and unicorns all tied up into one perfect bow sitting under a glistening Christmas tree.

“The waiting,” he starts, voice deep and gruff, “this waiting for him to arrive. My life is at a stand still. How much of it can I waste over him? I'm so fucking tired of it all. I just want to be home with you. I'm over it, Lily.” The whole time he talks he's on the verge of cracking, making me want to leap through the phone and cling tight to him. “I'm
so
fucking tired. I can't remember the last time I slept. I mean truly slept, like when you're in my arms.”

Every part of me hurts, needing to comfort and love him.

“Where are you right now?” I ask.

“
On a bar stool in my kitchen.”

I resist the urge to ask for details about his kitchen; now is not the time for my inquisitive mind.

“Are you dressed for bed?”

“
Yes...” his voice has turned husky and I do my best to ignore the desire it invokes in me.

“
Good,” I remain level, not wanting him to get the wrong idea despite my sudden arousal protesting. “I want you to get into bed and then I'm going to tell you every little detail of my life since I returned. Every last agonizing detail until you pass out from boredom.”

And that's just what I do until I hear the comforting sounds of his light snoozes echoing into the phone. I lay with my ear pressed to the speaker, hearing them until I pass out too.

Chapter 10

Wednesday, February 26

10:54pm

The sound of my phone ringing wakes me on the couch, my Kindle laying on my stomach. I blindly reach around until my fingers hit the plastic cover of my cell.

“Hello,” I mumble, somewhat incoherently.

“
Hey,” comes the raspy, gruff voice of Jay, “Did I wake you?”

“
It's worth it,” I reassure him. He could wake me at three in the morning, anything to know his heart's still beating.

It's silent for a few awkward seconds.

“Everything okay?” I ask, the silence making me uncomfortable for some strange reason; I should be used to it by now.

“
Where are you?” Jay's voice has turned into that low, husky sound that I love.

“
On the couch,” I whisper back, sliding up enough to see down the hall and if there are any lights shining under the doors.

Pitch black.

I become aware of the stillness, that sense of mystery only night can bring.

“
Alone?”

“
Yeah.” Why do I sound nervous?

“
Good,” he rasps out, still managing to shift the mood of the room when he's all the way in another state. “Where's everybody else?”

“
Asleep.”

“
I need you, Lily,” Jay confesses in a way that has me instantly aroused.

“
How do you
need
me?” I try making my voice seductive but it comes out in different pitches, making me come across as the inexperienced girl that I am.  

“
I need to hear your moans...your cries of passion,” he stalls for a moment, but I hang in anticipation for his next words. “I want you to touch yourself...I want to hear it. I want to hear it
all
.”

I love that Jay doesn't seem fazed by my inexperience, knowing
I've never done this before.

I try not to be afraid and shy, because I want this too. “Okay. Let me go to my room first.”

A soft growl of approval faintly transfers through, spiking my desire and clenching my sex in anticipation. I lock my bedroom door and get under the covers of my bed, eager and excited for wherever this is headed.

“
Where do you want me to touch first?” I sound anything but confident. 

“
Anywhere,” he almost sounds like he's begging me, making this even hotter. I love the passion he has for me, how he'll take any part of myself I'll give to him, no matter how little it is, and it's more than enough; he's just thankful to have a piece.

How did I get so lucky to find a man that loves me like this? That believes everything I am, everything I have to offer is more than he could ask for?

I slide my hand down my stomach, skimming the cotton of my night shirt. Goosebumps are already covering my skin before I've even made contact with it. I roll the material up enough to feel the waistband of my pajama bottoms. I stop there, explaining where my hand is resting, wanting him to tell me where to go next.

“
Slide it under your panties–”

“
I'm not wearing any,” I cut in, knowing the image will drive him insane.

The low growl of approval that rumbles out of him tells me I've hit my mark.

“Touch yourself...god baby, touch yourself and let me hear how good it feels.”

Any shyness is long gone at how turned on this is making him. I like having this kind of control over him, how much of himself he entrusts in me, knowing there is nobody else he gives himself to like  he does for me. 

I slide under the fabric, hitting the spot I know always gets me wet and ready. My whimper causes him to let out a hum of his arousal.

“
I want you to do this with me.” I get wetter imagining him stroking his cock while he pictures me playing with myself.

“
I already am,” he replies, his desire made clear in the way he breathes out the words.

“
I can almost taste you on my tongue,” he tells me, knowing what this is doing to me. “Damn baby, you taste so fucking good. I want to start at your toes and nibble, suck, and bite my way up, stopping between your legs, making you scream out my name over and over again until you can't take any more. Then I'll travel to your breasts that fit perfectly into my hand, playing, teasing, enjoying the way your nipples harden as I take them into my mouth. I'll give them the attention they deserve, making you beg for me  to be inside you. I'll end with your mouth as I slam so hard into you that every part of you hands itself over to me, knowing I'm the only man that can satisfy you like this.”

I rub myself harder and harder with every word he delivers.

“I want it rough, Jay. I want it so deep inside me that there is nothing else to think about but how you overtake my body and consume me.”

I hear him groaning and panting, vigorously stroking himself.

“Lily, baby,” he's breathless in a way that tells me he's close.

“
I want you to pull out and come all over me. I want to see how good I make you feel.”

“
Oh, fuck,” Jay moans and his release has mine shortly following. I pull my pillow to my mouth, biting into it to keep from crying out loud.

“
That was hot, Lily,” he pants. “But I think somehow I want you more than I did when I called.”

I know what he means. It has only reminded me of how our bodies connect when they are together, how incredible it feels to have his hands, body, and lips on me and inside me.

We stay silent for a few minutes, content just to hear the other breathing, then w
e start talking about random mundane things until we start to nod off. I think we both might finally get a good night's rest.

Chapter 11

Saturday, March 1

7:19pm

“Is that guy going to be there? The one Naomi keeps trying to set you up with?” Jay asks when I tell him I'm getting ready for a party at Naomi's brother's place.

“
Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why she was so persistent that I go.” I'm very close to Naomi's family and go to most parties they have, so I know the only reason she kept pestering me about it had to be because of Nate.

“
It's really fucking hard for me to not get on a plane right now and take you to that party, making sure every male there knows you're mine,” he grinds out, working his jaw. “Seriously, Lily, my temperature's rising at the idea of some guy even looking at you.”

“
You know it doesn't matter, right? That I'm not interested in him, or anyone? I only want you.” Sometimes Jay's possessiveness is hot and sometimes it makes me wary, afraid he'll try to control where I go and who I talk to.

He doesn't answer and I can hear him pacing the floor.

“Do you not want me to go?” I'm fearful to ask, but it's important I know his answer in case I need to make it clear that nobody controls what I do but me.

“
No,” he sounds confused. “Why wouldn't I? I mean, do I like that you're going to a party with other guys? Hell fucking no. Am I going to be thinking about who's hitting on you all night? Every fucking second. But I wouldn't want you not to go just because I have jealousy issues.”

“
I think I just fell more in love with you, Jay.” And I have. It's overwhelming, the ferocity with which I love him, how rooted into me he has become in such a short amount of time, but I'm not sure it could have been any other way with him.

“
Lily.” Jay's voice turns dead serious and I can hear he's stopped pacing, “I need you to be honest with me.”

“
Of course.”

“
Why does Noami want you with this guy so bad?”

I hadn't a clue what Jay was going to ask, but that sure wasn't it.

“Softened truth or the hard truth?”

“
With you? Hard. Always.”

I laugh at how suggestive he made that.

“He recently broke up with his girlfriend and was asking about me. Naomi remembers the mad crush I had on him and thinks it's time I started dating again.”

“
Didn't you say Noami doesn't approve of anyone? So why him?”

“
Yes, but he's been her brother's longest friend and she knows what a great guy he is.”

“
Oh,” is Jay's quiet reply. “What makes him so great?”

This is an awkward conversation to be having with Jay. I don't understand why he wants to know all this. Inquiring too much about something is
my
thing. “Um, well, he owns and runs a martial arts studio and twice a week gives free lessons at the women's shelter Stevie volunteers at, and gives any child who can't afford it free lessons. He's basically always been a really personable, giving, kind person.”

The silence that follows makes me wish that I had toned down my honesty.

“He's who you would have ended up with if I hadn't been selfish and had kept my distance from you,” he utters, dry and matter-of-fact.

Shit, I should have known Jay would turn this into him not feeling good enough for me. How do I make him understand he's all my heart wants, that's he's the only man I could ever love this deeply? We complete the other in ways no one else ever could, teaching one another things about ourselves we wouldn't have known otherwise.

Just as I'm about to share all this and pour my heart out to him, Stevie and Naomi come bursting into my bedroom, giggling and ready to go party.

I wave them out of my room so I can finish talking to Jay, “Give me a minute. I'll meet you at the car.”

Of course they ignore me and come closer.

“
Is that the guy you keep secretly talking to?” Stevie questions, trying to sneak a peak at the screen.

I shoo her away with my hand as Naomi comes tromping over, “No way, Lily. I'm not letting whoever that is to make you depressed and ruin our evening.”

Naomi snatches my phone, “I don't know who you are or why you keep calling her, but it needs to stop.”

I claw at her to get the phone back, but she's quick and heads out of my room.

“She lives for these calls, and doesn't want to leave the house on her free time in case she misses one.”

“
Naomi!” I cry, chasing after her. Damn her, I'm sick of her thinking I need her to hold my hand through life.

“
Then when you do call,” she keeps going, ignoring me and walking further away, “she's depressed afterwards. If you care for her, let her live her life. Stop making her pine away for you. You don't know her. I do. She has the biggest heart out of anyone I know, and you're playing tug of war with it. There's this great guy that's genuinely interested in her, and I think she'd be interested too if you didn't keep messing with her head. Let her go–”

I finally snatch it back.

“Baby, please don't listen to her. It's not like that,” I quickly explain into the phone, desperate to make things right, but Jay's already hung up.

I blink at the phone, opened-mouthed in disbelief Naomi just did that, and then I get angry. Furious, really. A seething ball of rage.

I snap my head and burn Naomi down with my heated glare.

“
What gives you the right to fucking do that!” I yell, taking she and Stevie by surprise. “
Just because your love life is all over the place right now does not mean you need to take me and Jay down with you! Who gives a fuck if I miss him and I get sad after our phone conversations. You had no right!” I've never yelled like this before. My skin is inflamed and I can feel my veins bulging out of my face and neck, “Get out of my fucking house!”

Naomi covers her mouth and her eyes get wide, “I'm so sorry, Lily. I thought I was helping–”

“Figure out your own damn life before you fuck with mine! Now get out!” I scream unnecessarily loud, pointing at the door, “OUT!”

“
Lily, I'm sorry, please–”

“
Out!”

She doesn't try any more and quickly exits.

Stevie goes to follow her but stops at the door. “This isn't me choosing sides...” she trails off, conflicted in what is the right thing to do.

I take in a deep breath and pinch the bridge of my nose, “I know. You love her. I would do the same thing. Go make sure she's okay. I understand.”

“Thank you. I love you. It's been Jay this whole time, huh?”

I shrug and let the tears fall. “I love him,” I choke out, more upset with the way I yelled at my best friend.

Stevie runs to me and gives me a tight hug, “Let me go check on Naomi, then I'll come back and we can take away our relationship trouble with the only two men who are always there for us.”

“
Jack and the Captain?” I sniffle.

Stevie laughs, “I was thinking more like Ben and Jerry, but that works too.”

Once she leaves I collapse on the couch, staring down at my phone, praying he'll call me back.

He never does.