Married Men (48 page)

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Authors: Carl Weber

BOOK: Married Men
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“I don’t need your help, so stay out of this! I’ve had enough help from my friends. That’s how I got into this mess, remember?” I gave Allen an evil look.
“But you haven’t even heard my idea.” I turned to Jay with a menacing glare. I knew he was trying to help, but his kind of help I didn’t need.
“I said stay out of it! I’ll just have to pay her if she’s gonna be this way.” I had no other choice.
39
 
Allen
 
If it weren’t for bad luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all. It was Thursday morning, and I was having a bad day. On my desk was a stack of files a foot high, and I was clueless as to where they came from. To top that off, the only person who would know where they came from, my assistant Jill, called in sick. So I was going to be clueless at least one more day. And if that wasn’t bad enough, at the last minute Rose had one of her mysterious headaches and I had to get Jonathan dressed and take him over to Ma’s house before work. That made me twenty minutes late, and I missed a meeting with my boss. So she chewed my ass out for a good twenty minutes. Then the minute she left my office the phone started ringing.
“This is Allen in Benefits. How can I help you?”
“Hi, Allen, this is Cinnamon.” I smiled. I’d been thinking about her a lot since I left Maryland last week. Truth is, I missed her, and although it was the right thing to do, I still regretted not making love to her the other night.
“What’s up, Cin?”
“Nothing. How are you?” She sounded so serious, so professional, and the only thing I could think of was how upset she was when I told her I couldn’t make love to her. God, I had hoped she’d understand by now. The last thing I wanted was for her to be upset with me. I decided to avoid the subject and try to lighten the mood.
“How’s everything goin’ down there in Maryland? Evan all right?”
“He’s fine, Allen. Look, I need to—” She still sounded like this was business, not personal, so I cut her off.
“Look, Cin. I hope you’re not mad about last week. I would never try to hurt you. I swear. I was just trying to do the right thing by you and my son.”
“I know that, Allen, and that’s not why I called.”
“It isn’t?” I was confused and worried. Cinnamon had called my office a dozen times since I’d found her letter at Ma’s, but she never sounded so serious before. “What’s going on, Cinnamon?”
“Allen, Dr. Stone, the head of the hemoglobin department, just called me. He wants you to come down to the hospital and take another blood test as soon as possible.”
“Why? What’s wrong?” Now I was really worried.
“I’m not really sure. Probably nothing. I just know they wanna do some more blood work.” I took a deep breath.
“Okay, let me talk to my boss and see if I can get the rest of the day off. Then I’ll stop by Ma’s and get Jonathan. That kid’s gonna hate me for lettin’ y’all stick him again.”
“Why don’t you leave Jonathan with your mother? I’m sure the doctors can get what they need from you.”
“Don’t they need his blood?” Now I was even more confused.
“No, the doctors just need to see you.”
“What’s going on, Cin? Is there something wrong with my boy?”
“No, Allen, they just musta spilled your blood or misplaced it. It happens sometimes. No big deal.” She was trying to sound nonchalant, but she wasn’t fooling me.
“Look, don’t bullshit me, okay? I know you. What’s wrong with my boy?” She hesitated, took a breath before speaking again. Whatever was going on, she didn’t wanna be the one to tell me.
“Allen, I honestly don’t know what’s going on, and they’re not going to tell me because of how close we are.”
“Aw‘ight, I’ll buy that for now. But when I get down there, I want some answers, and I want you to have them. I’ll see you around one o’clock.”
“Good. Mary Peters will be waiting for you. Just have them page her when you get here.” She hung up, and I had to wonder why I was paging Mary Peters instead of her.
 
I could tell something was up the second Cinnamon and Dr. Stone, the head of the hemoglobin department, walked into his office. I’d just given blood about an hour ago and was waiting patiently in the doctor’s office to find out why they needed the additional blood in the first place. Up to this point, no one had given me any answers. This was the first I’d even seen Cinnamon since I’d arrived. Dr. Stone’s face looked as if he were getting ready to deliver some bad news, while Cinnamon looked like she was about to cry. I just knew they were about to tell me I had cancer or something. Especially since my friend JB from work was diagnosed with prostate cancer after a blood test last year. Suddenly I felt a wave of depression take over me. I could deal with the fact that I might die. Everyone has to die one day, but what was going to happen to Jonathan if I wasn’t around?
Cinnamon sat down next to me, and the doctor sat down behind his desk. Both of them were staring at me, but neither of them said a word. The silence was driving me crazy, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know what was going on.
“Will somebody tell me what’s going on?” I stared back and forth between the two of them, holding on to the arms of the chair so my hands wouldn’t shake. I hoped they could sense I was not in the mood for games. Cinnamon looked at the doctor, and the doctor looked at me.
“Mr. Jackson, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we found something very disturbing with the blood sample we took last week. That’s why we requested the second.”
“I kind’ve figured that, Dr. Stone, especially since Ms. Lindsey here”—I cut my eyes at Cinnamon, then back to the doctor—“has been avoiding me ever since I got down here.” I sighed. “I want you to be honest with me, Doc. How long do I have to live?”
The doctor exchanged a glance with Cinnamon, then looked at me quizzically. I’m sure they never expected me to figure out that I was dying.
“Oh, no, Allen,” Cinnamon said sadly, “you’ve got this all wrong.” She patted my knee, trying to comfort me.
“Mr. Jackson, you do have this all wrong. You’re not going to die.” The doctor tried to give me a reassuring smile.
“I’m not? Then who?” My eyes went wide with fear. “Oh, God. Not Jonathan. Not my boy.” I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I felt like I was about to pass out.
“Allen, no one is going to die,” Cinnamon whispered, gently rubbing my back.
“Then what’s going on, Cin? Tell me what’s going on. I know you guys didn’t have me come down here for nothing.” My eyes never left hers. She tried to look at the doctor, but I grabbed her wrist. “No! Don’t look at him. Look at me. Tell me what’s going on.” She took a deep breath and exhaled before she spoke.
“When they ran your blood through the tests last week, they couldn’t find the trait.” She looked like she was about to cry, but I didn’t understand what she was talking about.
“What d’ya mean they couldn’t find the trait?” I turned to the doctor for clarification.
“What she means, Mr. Jackson, is we could not find the trait for sickle-cell anemia in your blood.”
“What?”
My stomach started churning. I felt like I was about to lose my lunch. This man could not be saying what I thought he was saying.
Please God, make him wrong.
“Are you crazy? Do you know what you’re saying? Do you?” I leaned forward in my chair and was about to get in the doctor’s face. “You’re trying to tell me that Jonathan’s not my son?” I was yelling at the doctor, but even as I said the words, I knew inside that it was possible. I didn’t wanna admit it, but I knew my wife well enough by now to know there might be a chance the lab was right. Especially with Rose swearing Jonathan was premature and the doctor saying he was full-term. Now it was starting to make sense. I should’ve known something was up when Rose was so eager to try to get pregnant
before
the wedding. I slammed my hand on the doctor’s desk.
“Mr. Jackson, please, please calm down,” the doctor pleaded. Cinnamon reached up and grabbed my hand as the doctor continued. “We’re not sure of anything right now. It was quite possible that we had mixed up your blood with someone else’s or that there was some type of error. That’s why we asked you to come down and give us another blood sample.” The doctor tried to smile, but I think the way I looked at him killed that idea.
“Allen, please sit down.” Cinnamon guided me back in my chair.
“So what did the other test say?” Maybe there was still a shred of hope that the new test would uncover a mistake on the part of the hospital, so I could get the hell out of there and go home to my son. I didn’t know what I would do if Jonathan wasn’t my child. I could barely process the thought.
“We haven’t gotten the results yet. We’re waiting for them now.” The doctor looked at his watch. “It’s going to be another ten minutes or son.”
So we sat in the doctor’s office and waited in uncomfortable silence for almost half an hour till the phone rang. I could tell by the doctor’s expression as he spoke that the news on the other end wasn’t any better than what they told me the first time.
“Jonathan’s not my son, is he, Doctor?” I was sitting at the edge of the chair, holding my breath.
“I’m afraid it doesn’t look that way, Mr. Jackson, but there are still some tests we should run.”
I wanted to jump up in the air and scream, throw things at him, tip over his desk for giving me such bad news, but everything I wanted to do I couldn’t. I was too numb. I felt like I’d been given a huge shot of novocaine that had spread throughout my entire body. I’d never been so overcome with grief in my entire life. I’ll never forget the pain I felt sitting in the hospital when my dad died of cancer, and it was devastating to learn that Jonathan had sickle cell. But nothing I’d ever experienced could compare to the way I felt when this doctor confirmed that Jonathan was not my biological son.
“Allen, are you okay?” Cinnamon placed one hand on my lap and the other on my back, rubbing it gently.
“No, Cinnamon, I’m not okay,” I growled. Somehow I pulled my shoulder from her. I didn’t wanna be touched or consoled. I just wanted to get my hands around Rose’s neck and choke the life outta her. “I gotta get back to New York.”
“Why don’t you stay down here with me a few days? I’ll take the rest of the week off. I’ll show you DC. Maybe we’ll go to Virginia Beach.”
“No!” I shook my head. “She’s not gonna get away with this, Cinnamon. You don’t understand. You don’t do shit like this to people. Especially not people you’re supposed to love.” I stood to leave, but she grabbed my arm. I gave her an evil look, but it didn’t matter. She still didn’t let go.
“I know what she did was wrong, Allen, but you don’t need to see her. Not yet, anyway. You might do something you’ll regret.”
She was right. Anger had taken over my emotions. I was no longer feeling sorry for myself. I just wanted to put my foot in Rose’s ass.
“I’ve got to go home. That bitch ruined my life.” Tears rolled down my face.
“Please Allen, just stay with me a few days. I don’t wanna see you in jail.” The way she pleaded confirmed how much she still cared for me, and for a split second the thought actually comforted me.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta go home and handle my business.” I pulled myself away from her and walked out of the office.
I’d been sitting in my car for the better part of an hour staring at the front door. I wanted to go inside, but I was scared. Scared of what might happen if I went in. Scared of how I might react if I walked through that door and saw Rose. I wasn’t a violent person, but I was so hurt inside that I would’ve done anything to make the pain go away. And killing Rose was at the top of my list. I reached over to the passenger seat and took hold of the claw hammer I’d bought at Home Depot about an hour ago.
I could do a hell of a lot of damage with this,
I thought as I slammed the hammer into the passenger seat. Yep, a couple of hard swings and it would be all over. Rose would be dead as a doorknob. Funny thing is, I was mad enough to do it. The only problem was Rose wouldn’t have to suffer that way. I opened the car door, then slammed it shut without getting out. Goddammit! I wanted her to suffer just like I was suffering. Killing her was just too damn easy. So I decided not to take her life, but to make it the most miserable existence in the world. I glanced at my watch. It was a little after midnight. I opened the car door and walked to the front door. Rose opened the door before I could even take out my key.
“Where the hell have you been? Your mother dropped off your son three hours ago. He’s been crying for two damn hours.”
“My son?” I raised both eyebrows. You know, I had to laugh. Here I am sitting out in my car for an hour thinking about killing her ass because Jonathan’s not my son and she’s upset because I haven’t been home to take care of him. She’s got some fucking nerve. It’s a good thing I left that hammer in the car, ’cause I might’ve been smashing it up side her head right about now.
“What the hell’s so funny?” she demanded.
“You are, Rose! You’re what’s so damn funny. Did you give Jonathan his medicine?”

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