"
That's not fair and you know it." Spencer
ground out. "That kiss we shared was something else, even if you
you're not prepared to admit it or talk about it. We'll sort that
out later. Set some ground rules."
"
Rules?" Heat flooded into Kate's cheeks.
"You think some rules will make a fake marriage work between us?
You can't just make this up as you go along. What would you expect
me to do if one day you decided you want to be married to someone
else?"
His thumb-pad brushed across her resisting
palm. "Why would I want to do that?"
Kate shuddered at the erotic contact.
"Because you're a man. They do the leaving."
"
God
, Kate. Eric Waters really did a number on you,
didn't he?" Spencer felt that same stir of mingled frustration and
desire.
Their conversation was deadly
serious, but he could read every thought in her mind by the haunted
expression in her eyes and the fear in her voice. That comment had
caught her short, mussed with her drive to deny him what he most
wanted and needed. She wanted to run away and he
couldn't allow her
to escape.
"
You would be in complete control, Kate.
Whatever you want."
"
What kind of marriage are you talking
about?" she asked warily.
Is she at least starting to consider it?
He pressed his small
advantage.
"We would be living together. This must be a union no one
can challenge. Especially in a court of law. You would move in with
me and Jamie. Everything else would stay the same as it is
now."
"
Just like that, all neat and tidy. Won't
it seem odd that suddenly we're engaged to be married?" She finally
managed to extricate her hand from his slackened grip. "We hardly
know each other."
"
Not if we play the game right. I've spent
some time in Chicago. It was a few years ago, but we could have met
before. When I first saw you, for a moment I even thought I knew
you. Just think about it, okay?"
He
wasn't used to begging for what he needed.
"Please."
Over the last few years he'd built his
medical reputation with hard work and discipline. She must to agree
to his plans; it was the only way to save Jamie's whole future from
disaster. His son would not be made to suffer for his parents'
mistakes. There was simply no time to find someone else, another
woman willing to help him.
Kate was the ideal choice in
many ways, even if she
wouldn't admit it to herself. She'd said enough to
make him think she wanted the same things as him. A marriage
without strings or emotional involvement. He searched for the right
words to convince her, make her see his point of view.
He spread his hands, palms uppermost on
the table. "If you decide one day you want different terms or
something else, then we can negotiate. Make this work for us both.
I'm open to suggestions."
Kate shook her head. "This whole idea is
crazy. I can't marry you. I hardly know you."
"
You know enough." He studied her, seeking
a clue to her thoughts. Her eyes still looked haunted, but her
cheeks were warm with color.
The sudden tightening of his gut was not
due to her outright refusal—he could work on changing her mind—but
something else far more insidious and undeniable.
He discovered he wanted her in
his
life; it
was as plain and simple as that. But given her recent history, he
had to take things easily and slowly. In time they could really
make this marriage work. If only she would open up and tell him
everything she was feeling.
He got to his feet, walking around the
table to sink to one knee beside her chair. "Maybe you're worried
about how we handle it between us," he said. "I can understand
that. Not every man is like that scum Eric Waters. I could never
hurt you. I will respect your need for some time and
distance."
"
I know that now." Her wary gaze clashed
with his. She frowned.
How could he know Eric's
surname
?
She'd never mentioned it.
She shook her head slowly. "But I can't
agree. It wouldn't be right. If I ever married again, I would
need…more." How could she vocalize what she didn't understand
herself?
"
Very well." He leaned closer. "We'll talk
about this again tomorrow. When you've had some time to consider
everything. There would be advantages for you, Kate. I'm not a
wealthy man, but you would want for nothing."
"
I don't care about money." Kate pressed
her body back in her chair. He was looking at her mouth, as if he
was intending to kiss her, beguile her with his undoubted expertise
into making rash promises she had no idea how to keep.
Agree to his crazy plan.
But was it so
crazy
? She
would have exactly what she always wanted, a child. A family of her
own. And he was offering that.
And she knew instinctively that Spencer
wasn't anything like Eric. He would honor any commitment he made,
fully and completely. There would be no other women, no chance her
heart would be broken into little pieces all over again. He was an
honorable man. He would keep his word.
It was herself she couldn't trust.
Married to the man.
Reality crashed in on her overworked senses.
She pulled back, breathing hard. "No." She
raised her hand between them, turning her face away. "I can't marry
you. Not on your terms. Or any other."
"
If that's your decision..." He stood tall
and nodded once. "I'll see you in the morning. Good night." Then he
turned around and left, closing the front door quietly behind
him.
Kate watched him walk away, listened to
the departing sound of his truck, astonished as the intensity of
yearning flooding through her. She felt as if she was being pulled
in a thousand different directions at once. She wished she had the
courage to stall him, asked for more time to consider his
outlandish proposal. Truly give consideration to all the
ramifications—and the benefits to both herself and
Jamie.
Maybe even allow him attempt to persuade
her with more beguiling means than straight talking and a
businesslike manner that did nothing for her heart or soul.
Agreeing would have been very easy then, in his arms, pressed close
against his heart. But she'd shied away like a coward from such
close contact when he looked as if he was going to kiss
her.
If he'd just once told her he was falling in love
with her.
As she had come to love him. Without
reservation or hope of redemption.
He could have said he needed and wanted her
for herself, not as some convenient means to an end. An ideal
solution to his most pressing problem.
Crazy, stupid thoughts!
More to the point, now she was alone and
feeling the whole weight of the world crashing in on her, she
wished she could be the practical, sensible woman Spencer obviously
wanted and needed her to be.
How foolish was it to expect anything
more? He needed a mother for his son; he didn't want a real wife.
Not in the intimate sense of the word.
Could that ever, truly be enough?
An hour later she was still sitting at the
table, her head resting in the curve of her folded arms. Her food
was still untouched and her cup of coffee had gone cold. It was
beyond time she got up and made her way to bed.
The sudden shrill sound of the telephone
ringing startled her upright. Thinking perhaps it was Spencer
wanting to ask her again—telling her he wanted to marry her because
he loved her—she hurried from her chair to pick up the
receiver.
"
Spencer…?"
"
Katie, is that you?"
The familiar deep male voice startled her.
Her whole world slammed to a halt.
Kate blinked, her breath catching high in
her throat, threatening to choke her. "Eric...?" He was the only
man who called her by the childish version of her name she'd always
detested.
"
Of course," Eric breathed impatiently.
"Who else were you expecting?" He gave a disgruntled snort. "I rang
you over two hours ago. It must be very late there now. Where've
you been? Who's Spencer?"
"
No one important." Kate defended herself
automatically. "I wasn't expecting to hear from you. I was out
visiting."
"
I see." Eric moderated his tone. "Yes,
well, it's really good to hear your voice again. I've missed you,
Katie. You don't know how much."
"
Missed me?" Kate gathered her tumbled
thoughts. "I don't understand. How did you find me?"
Eric's
voice roughened with scorn. "Dammit,
Kate, is that all you can think of to say after all this time? Do
you know how many strings I had to pull, just to get that damn
hospital in Chicago to give me your forwarding address? They
weren't very accommodating. But I pulled in some favors, got the
place to cough up your new address in the end."
He sounded so smug, so proud of his
achievement. But then he was always so sure of his own abilities.
Kate's stomach hollowed with dismay. This couldn't be happening.
Not now, after she had managed to begin rebuilding her life and
move on from his influence.
Not the very same night Spencer asked her to marry
him.
"
Katie? Hello? Are you still there?" He sounded
impatient.
"
I'm here." Kate tightened her grip on the
receiver, trying to keep her tone even. "But, Eric, I don't
want—"
"
She's left me." His exasperated voice cut
sharply across hers as if she hasn't spoken. "I need you, Katie, I
always have. You know you're the only woman for me. You always will
be."
Kate winced again at the pet name. It
irritated her sense of fair play. "I'm sorry for you, Eric. But
what can I do?"
"
Janine said she'd had enough." The sound
of Eric's impatience deepened. "She's gone off to Washington with
some congressman, for God's sake! He's a younger man."
Kate tried to picture Eric. Visualize his
seething indignation that his wife had actually left him for
another man. But the picture wouldn't form.
His face no longer haunted her mind. Her
heart did a breathtaking leap of joy at the realization. A dark
haired, blue eyed, drop dead gorgeous Greek pirate had firmly taken
his place.
"
I'm sorry, Eric. But I don't see how your
wife leaving you has anything to do with me. Not now."
"
Of course it has everything to do with
you," Eric snapped in her ear. "It was always you, Katie. When I
asked you to marry me, I wasn't—"
"
Free?" Kate cut in without compunction.
"You weren't free, Eric. A small fact you forgot to
mention."
He bit back immediately. "I was going to
say I wasn't thinking straight. You bowled me over. Knocked me
completely sideways. But I love you, Kate," he rushed the words
out. "I guess I always have. Janine and I, well we—"
"
Her money was necessary to your career,"
Kate replied, swallowing against the tightness in her throat.
"We've been over this, Eric. Too many times to count. I don't want
to do this anymore. Not with you."
"
But I want you. I can make it up to you.
If Janine wants a divorce she'll have to pay me out to get it and
pay well. When I asked you to marry me I had every intention of
divorcing her, but these things take time. I thought you understood
that."
"
These things..." Kate shook her head. She
studied her response and found she no longer cared. Eric had
finally lost the power to hurt her, both physically and mentally.
She was finally free.
With renewed confidence her voice firmed
dismissively. "When I agreed to marry you, I thought you were all I
could ever want in a man. I loved you. Past tense, Eric. I no
longer care."
"
Of course you still love me. Stop be a
little fool, nothing's really changed between us." Eric inhaled
deeply. "I'm still the same man and I can make things all right
again. I've just gotten a huge promotion. The salary package is
fantastic and the fringe benefits will give us everything we've
ever wanted. We can even afford to buy that house in the country
you were always nagging me about. You must remember your dream
home, Katie. Some kids, a few dogs, horses. Anything you want,
Katie, they're yours."
Anything she
wanted
…Spencer had said those words too.
Eric's
tone softened as he said, "You can
come home now. I was angry when you threw me out, I'll admit that.
I know I said some things, but I never meant them. I guess I should
say I'm sorry now for setting that investigator to follow you, but
you made me so damn crazy." His rough exhalation sounded loudly in
her ear. "I need you. Come home to me and let me make it up to you.
We always looked so good together. We can be that way again, you'll
see. A power couple, going places, doing things. I'll take good
care of you."