Masquerade (Vampires Realm Romance Series Book 10) (13 page)

The moment this man turned, Vivek was going to question him, even if that meant leaving the ball. They needed to know what Aleksis was planning. He went back up the stone steps and waited as the group of guards exited Tynan’s office and passed him, heading towards the rest rooms. Vivek walked down the dimly lit corridor to Commander Tynan’s office door and knocked.

“Enter.”

Vivek pushed the door open. Tynan stopped midway through buttoning the cuff on his dress jacket. The black material hugged his figure, tailored perfectly to emphasise his broad shoulders and narrow waist. It covered him to just above his knees and the stand-up collar reached his jaw. Would such an elegant garment be awaiting Vivek in his quarters when he returned? Many of the males attending the ball wore clothing similar to it. Tynan’s had pale blue embroidery around the cuffs, hem, collar and the twin lines of buttons that formed a V down the front. It matched the colour of their bloodline’s eyes in their true form.

“Can we spare two guards to watch the hunter?” Vivek said and Tynan smiled.

“Already taken care of. I have an elite guard and one of your squad assigned to it.”

Vivek knew without asking that it would be the elite guard who came for him or Tynan if the hunter awoke during the ball. A guard below that rank wouldn’t be allowed to enter.

“Shouldn’t you be getting dressed?” Tynan raised an eyebrow at Vivek’s uniform. “You cannot go looking like that.”

He nodded. “As soon as I finish my preparations, I will return to my quarters to dress.”

“And Sophis?”

Vivek was struck by a desire to ask whether Tynan knew what both of them would be wearing, but discounted it as a foolish question. Both Tynan and Timur would know so they could pick them out from the guests. An urge to ask Tynan another question replaced it.

What would Sophis be wearing?

He wanted to recognise her too.

“She is finishing up in the ballroom,” he said instead and let the question fade away.

If Tynan wanted them to recognise each other, he would have already told them as much and shown them their outfits or gone as far as making them change into them so they wouldn’t fail to spot the other.

Tynan saluted him and Vivek responded, nodded and left the room, heading for his quarters.

He would have to find Sophis another way.

He paused mid-step and then continued, not wanting to ponder that thought and why he desired to find her. He wasn’t seriously considering tracking her down in order to make her dance.

He didn’t really want her to be the woman she used to be around him, to forget her duty for one night and seize a moment of freedom with him.

He didn’t need it with a ferocity that surprised him.

Vivek hurried up the steps to the entrance hall, crossed it and then ascended the stairs to the first floor. He checked each room to ensure that it was secure for their guests and then turned at the end of the gaily decorated corridor, heading up the next flight of steps to the second floor.

His quarters were small, as were all the rooms on this floor, but they were still a sign of prestige. Most of the guards and servants slept in the basement. He had been down there once, sharing rooms with his fellow younglings. It had taken him years of hard work to elevate himself from servant to guard, and then up the ranks to where he was today.

A growl escaped him as he passed Sophis’s door.

She had managed it far quicker than he had. She was fifty years his junior and he could still remember the day that she had come to them, newly turned by one of the high-ranking members of the bloodline, weak and pathetic.

Alluring.

Vivek cursed that thought. She wasn’t alluring at all.

He shoved the door to his quarters open and slammed it behind him.

She was a liability.

Vivek collapsed back against the door and closed his eyes. A beautiful liability.

She materialised in the darkness of his mind, fading into view, dressed not as she normally was in her stiff black uniform. An elegant corseted black dress hugged her figure and defined every curve that he had ever had the luck of seeing during training when she wore tight camisoles and sweat pants. It swept low across her chest, revealing the swell of her breasts and the sublime sloping arch of her bare throat that only bore a single faded bite mark. Layers of fine black fabric clung from the waist down, teasing him with the thought of lifting her skirt to find the long toned legs they concealed.

His body hardened in response to the fantasy and he didn’t have the strength left in him to deny that the epiphany he’d had earlier wasn’t the result of fighting, or bloodlust, or any of the excuses he had dreamed up.

He wanted her.

Not just physically.

He wanted to possess her, to protect her and shield her from the darkness in their world. He needed to have her in his arms, nestled close to his body, safe and sound. He desired to shut her away so she might never come to harm again.

He wanted it but knew that he could never go through with it.

She would never allow it.

Nor would she ever believe him capable of loving her.

Could he change that at least?

Could he rectify the mistakes he had made with her and make her see that she was the reason that he had changed, that he only wanted to protect her and keep her safe?

It seemed impossible.

She would still hate him for everything he had ever done to her.

She had chosen to be a guard, to place herself in danger in order to protect her bloodline, and he should have honoured and respected that, not sought to cage her just because he had developed feelings for her.

Rather than pushing her away, he should have held her closer.

He should have told her.

Vivek opened his eyes and stared at the thick black folder resting on the dark blue covers of his bed. It bore the crest of his bloodline in silver-blue. Beside it was his clothing, neatly folded. Black. Unsurprisingly.

Could this mission give him a chance to make things right between him and Sophis?

If he could find her in amongst the guests and could convince her to dance, he might be able to confess that he had been wrong, apologise to her and break the cycle of his behaviour. He might be able to explain and make her see that he had only acted the way he had because he needed her and didn’t know how to tell her or what to do about it. That he lashed out sometimes and did stupid things because he feared that she would never reciprocate the feelings for her that burned in his heart like an eternal flame.

Because he was in love with her.

If he could have her in his arms for just one dance, just one brief heartbeat of time, he was sure that he could change the path of things between them.

V
ivek pushed away from the door, gathered his robe and shower things, and left his room. He walked down to the end of the corridor and the communal bathrooms there. Ella was there with two other females as he entered, all of them dressing after their showers. She stopped towelling her wet blonde hair and her blue gaze came to rest on him. Vivek moved away before she could say anything, hurrying into the side of the large room assigned to the male guards. He didn’t want to see her.

He didn’t want word that he had been sighted speaking with Ella reaching Sophis. Not tonight. He needed everything to go as well as he could expect, which wasn’t well at all, but he was willing to take the risk and give it a shot.

Thoughts of Sophis occupied his mind as he showered in one of the cubicles, his senses sometimes reaching out through the haze of water to see if he could sense her on the same floor as him. Would she bathe before dressing for the ball? The thought of her naked and wet had his body responding before he could do something to stop it. His cock stiffened until it was excruciatingly hard and it was difficult to ignore the urge to touch himself. With a swift flick of his wrist, he shifted the tap over to cold and braced himself as icy water rained down on him. His desire instantly deflated, a shiver running over his skin as the water sapped his warmth. He couldn’t risk losing too much body heat. It would take a long time to recover it and he needed his reflexes sharp not dampened by cold muscles. He turned the water towards hot again, stood under the jet until his skin felt as though it would blister under the heat, and then shut it off.

Vivek exited the stall and went back to the hook where he had left his white robe. He slipped it on and slowed down again as he fastened the belt around his waist. What would Sophis look like in a dress? Would she look as she did in his mind?

Was it possible for her to look more beautiful than she did normally?

He didn’t notice Seth until the man was standing beside him.

Vivek glanced across at him and then busied himself with drying his hair, scrubbing a towel against the dark unruly lengths until they turned fluffy. Seth didn’t say anything as he undressed, shrugging out of his jacket, his shirt and then stepping out of his trousers.

He walked to the stalls and then stopped, remaining with his back to Vivek.

“I hear you were causing trouble with the werewolves.”

“And who might have told you that?” Vivek knew without asking whom Seth had been speaking to and it turned his blood to fire. Had Sophis gone running to Seth to tell tales on him so they could share a laugh and a snide comment or two at his expense?

Seth looked back over his shoulder, his smile wicked. “I think you and I both know who told me.”

“Leave her alone,” Vivek snarled the words and twisted his hands in his towel to stop himself from doing something he would only regret.

Seth shook his head. “I should be the one saying that, don’t you think? Whatever it is you have against her, I think it’s high time you let it go. She’s a good soldier… better than you… better than me. You’re an idiot if you can’t see that.”

“I can see it.”

Seth’s deep blue eyes widened as though he hadn’t been expecting that response to leave Vivek’s lips. “If you can see it, then why in the Devil’s good and gracious name do you insist on hurting her?”

Vivek didn’t have a response to that. He had never really considered that he was hurting her by trying to get her thrown out of the guard. Thoughts of protecting her, and how safe she would be if she only had to pass her nights at leisure in the mansion, had blinded him to the damage he had been doing.

If Seth was right and he really had hurt her, then she would never forgive him.

The weaker part of him said to give up on her now, to let her go and not fool himself into believing that he could make things right between them because he was only going to get his heart broken when she turned on him. The stronger part of him, the side that needed her to understand him and would willingly risk the pain of her rebuttal, squashed it and trampled it out of existence.

He couldn’t let things continue as they had been between them.

He had to try.

He sighed, lowered his towel to his side, and then set his jaw. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

Vivek turned to leave but paused and looked back at Seth.

“What is she to you?” Icy fingers clutched his heart and squeezed it as he waited.

Seth looked as though he wouldn’t answer and Vivek dropped his gaze. After what he had said to Seth, he wasn’t surprised that the man wasn’t very forthcoming.

“Not what you think she is... and not what she is to you. She’s just a friend,” Seth said in a low voice and heat spread through Vivek, easing away the tight ache in his heart. “And because she’s a friend, and because I can see that she means something to you, I have a question to pose to you, and I suggest you think about it long and hard before you next see her.”

Vivek turned back to face him and frowned.

“What if your misguided attempt to protect her by pushing her out of the guard succeeded but she couldn’t face remaining at the Venia mansion? Sophis places great honour on being a guard. If you take that away from her, you will lose her. She will not remain here in disgrace.”

Ice settled in Vivek’s chest again and crept outwards, chilling his blood.

She would leave to be with her sire.

Nothing had changed.

He had thought that once she had gained some years as a vampire that she would grow independent of her sire as he had, and would live by herself, and she had, but if she was dismissed from the guard she would still leave. Seth was right. Sophis wouldn’t remain at the mansion in disgrace. She would leave to go to her sire and he would never see her again.

Tingles swept down his back and spread along his arms.

He would lose her.

Vivek growled under his breath, left the room and stormed along the corridor back to his quarters.

The further he had pushed Sophis from him, the closer he had pushed her to her sire.

The thought of her refusing his feelings for her was painful enough. If she refused him and then turned to her sire, if she chose her sire over him, it would kill him.

What had he done?

Vivek slammed the door of his quarters and slumped onto the hard single bed that stood against the wall on the right of the room. The back of his head hit the dull coloured wall but he didn’t flinch at the sharp sting of pain. His heart was hurting too much for him to notice it.

How could he have been so blind?

The image of her with her sire in some far off land, lost to him forever, tore into him until he no longer felt strong.

He was weak.

He had been over a decade ago when he had chosen to turn his back on Sophis rather than tell her how he felt and he was still weak now, all these years later, too afraid to do the right thing in case she turned on him.

No more.

He would win her heart. He would confess everything, would tell her his feelings and explain his actions. He wouldn’t let her go without a fight.

And instead of trying to get her demoted, he would respect her desire to protect their bloodline. He would no longer deter her. He wouldn’t smother her or treat her as inferior, as a weak female in need of protection. He would do what any man should in his situation.