Mastered 2: Ten Tales of Sensual Surrender (58 page)

“What are you doing here, Corinne?” Steven said.

His voice was ice cold.  His mouth a flat line.  Corinne’s eyes widened on him and she began to shake.  Her mouth opened but in that instant she was incapable of responding.  Fear squeezed her throat like a vise.

“I asked you a question, you worthless slut.”

Steven’s voice cracked like a whip. Corinne jumped.  Tears filled her eyes and fell silently down her cheeks.

Nate’s eyes went dark with rage.  “You son of a bitch.”

Nate snarled the words then lunged at Steven, knocking her husband to the floor then hitting the floor with him.

“Nate . . . what the fuck!” Steven shouted.

Nate hit Steven again then again.  Though Steven was also a large man and knew how to defend himself, he was no match for Nate.  It was all over in seconds.  Steven lay sprawled on the tile, unconscious.  Blood streamed from his broken nose and gaps where two teeth had been.

Nate looked away from Steven and back to Corinne.  The fury in his eyes was replaced by anguish.  He took a step to her and reached out to her.  Corinne shrank into herself, drawing herself up as tight as she could.   Nate halted and lowered his arms to his sides. “You’re safe, Corinne.  You’re safe now, I swear it.  I won’t let him ever hurt you again.”

Corinne’s body gave out at that, sagging, the last of her strength depleted.  She slid down the door to the floor then covered her face with her hands and wept.

Chapter Two

Two Years Later

The parking lot of the BDSM club known simply as “The Club” was full.  Corinne wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting but the number of cars at nine p.m. on a week night surprised her. She’d deliberately chosen a night when she thought there’d be less activity, fewer people for her first time back here in more than two years.

Steven had liked the club scene but it had never been her thing.  She liked to keep things private where as Steven had been into the theater of the club and enjoyed being seen, enjoyed showing his mastery and dominance over her.  She shut her eyes tightly. 
Don’t go there. 
Steven was in prison and couldn’t hurt her.

A part of her felt ashamed to be at The Club, to be seeking to resume this lifestyle, as if she’d been asking for what she got from Steven and was now setting herself up for more of the same.

She wasn’t sure why she even came here tonight.  No, that wasn’t true.  She knew why.  Something vital was missing from her life—her submission.  She felt the loss more keenly lately.  The lifestyle wasn’t a novelty for her.  It was her way of life.  Without it, she felt unfilled, empty.

She hoped acknowledging that meant she was ready to let go of her past with Steven.  Finally ready to take that step out of her past and move forward. She felt as if she’d been standing in place the last two years, held there by fear.

She was still afraid. She’d been parked for twenty minutes and hadn’t left her car.  Wasn’t making any move to do so. She had a death grip on the steering wheel.

Telling herself to move on and actually doing it was easier said than done.  She didn’t know what she would have done that horrific night if not for Nate.  She swallowed hard.  Nate had stood between her and the world, protecting her, shielding her, sheltering her.  Keeping the media away, shielding her from those who would seek to sensationalize the story of a successful businessman and his wife in a BDSM marriage.

He’d made sure she received the medical treatment she’d needed, contacted her parents and sister in California, and because she’d been so messed up, he’d gone with her on the plane, escorting her to her family himself.   He certainly didn’t deserve to have her problems become his but he’d taken them on anyway.  She closed her eyes recalling how tender he’d been with her, how protective.

And his care hadn’t ended once he’d delivered her to her family.  When he wasn’t deployed, he’d called and flown out to California to visit her.  She hadn’t wanted him to feel obligated because he’d been the one she’d run to.  She hadn’t wanted to be a burden to him, to drag him deeper into the mess her life had become.  She’d told him that the last time they spoke and she’d put action to her words. That was why when she’d decided to move back here, she hadn’t even let Nate know.  It was time she stopped leaning on him. It was time she let him get back to living his life rather than living around her life.

She needed to get back out in the world, to stand on her own two feet again.  To get back what she’d lost with Steven.

Moving out of her parents’ house and returning to Blake County had been the first step to doing that.  The house she’d lived in with Steven had been sold.  It hadn’t been her house but his, as was everything else.  She’d gladly signed an agreement before the marriage that made sure Steven kept what was his should they divorce.  She’d never wanted anything from him other than his love.  But even if the house were still available to her, she could never live there again.

She’d rented a small apartment near the university campus.  Steven hadn’t wanted her to work and he hadn’t permitted her to finish pursuing her business degree.  She had one year left to graduate and she was now back in school.  She’d found a job waitressing at a diner that was close to home and school.  With the diner being close to the college campus, it made it easy for her to accept shifts right after classes without needing to factor in time to commute.  That enabled her to keep her schedule flexible for classes.

And she’d come here, to The Club, tonight. Was she ready to take this step?  She didn’t know for sure. But if she didn’t try, she never would be.

She hadn’t given up on finding love, on finding a man, a Dom she would love and who would love her.   She swallowed hard.  She wouldn’t let Steven crush that, take that away from her.  He’d taken so much already.

But she’d be lying to herself if she said the notion of putting herself out there again didn’t terrify her.

She closed her eyes fighting back terror.  She didn’t want what happened with Steven to continue to control her.  Corinne slowly released the steering wheel and left the car.

* * *

Nate Stanton’s cell phone rang.  He reached for the TV remote, muting the game he was watching, then picked up the phone from the coffee table.  Caller ID read: Lazarus Dean.  Lazarus was a friend and owner of the exclusive BDSM club known only as The Club where Nate was a member.

“Hey, Laz,” Nate said.

“Nate, want to give you a heads up.  Corinne’s here.”

Nate shot forward on the couch.  He’d asked Laz to keep an eye out in case Corinne showed up there.  Part of Nate rejoiced that she’d found her way to The Club. The times he’d visited her in California had broken his heart.  She’d been so broken, inside and out, a shell of the fun-loving, exuberant woman he’d remembered.

Yeah, part of Nate rejoiced that she’d ventured out to The Club while another part of him tensed.  Laz made sure the safety of his patrons was his number one priority, but Laz couldn’t guarantee what happened once people left his club.  Nate had made a promise to Corinne’s father, and to himself that he’d watch out for her.  Never would what happened with Steven happen again.  Never again would she be hurt.

Nate would carry the memory of that night when she’d come running to him to his grave. If he closed his eyes, he could see her again, bruised, bloody, terrified.

He would carry the guilt for his part in her being hurt for the rest of his life, for not seeing what Steven had been doing to her.  Nate had been focused on keeping his distance from Corinne, deploying on as many missions as he could get to separate himself from her.  Nate hadn’t wanted her or Steven to know that he was in love with her.

He’d made sure at times when he couldn’t avoid or decline another invitation from Steven to keep his feelings for Corinne hidden.  He would never have put his feelings on her for her to deal with.  Not only because she was married to a man Nate had then considered a friend, which had its own code, but because he’d believed her to be happy.

And, he’d been wrong, missed any signs.  She hadn’t had the idyllic marriage he’d thought, hadn’t had her wants and needs fulfilled as she should have, as a loved, cherished submissive.

Instead, she’d been betrayed, hurt in the worst possible way by the man sworn to love and protect her and to keep her safe in her submission.  Nate couldn’t undo the past, but he could and would make sure that past never repeated itself with another man.  And he intended to do that by being the only man in her life.

She hadn’t let him know that she was moving back to Blake.  Nate had learned of that from her father.  She had the idea in her head that she was a burden to him, something to be endured.  He blew out an impatient breath over that.  He’d bided his time over the last two years and not told her how he felt about her.  She was so hurt.  He knew she was desperately struggling to get her feet back under her and he had no intention of undermining any budding confidence she was regaining but he wouldn’t be forced into the background.  Her going to The Club gave him hope that she was getting ready to move on—with him.

“Laz, I’m on my way,” Nate said.  “Don’t let her leave—or leave with anyone.”

“That’s the thing.  She’s been parked outside for some time.  Hasn’t come in yet.  I can go out there and invite her in.   I just don’t want to spook her, Nate, by bringing her inside if she isn’t ready.  She’s had way too much fear.”

Nate couldn’t argue with that.  “Yeah.  Leave her where she is.  If she drives away before I get there, call me.”

“You got it.”

Nate ended the call.  Grabbing a jacket and his car keys he ran out the door.

Chapter Three

Shoring up her courage, Corinne pushed open the double doors to The Club.  The main floor was an area designated for patrons to gather and mingle, set up as a lounge with comfortable couches and chairs and a bartender on hand to prepare drinks.

A winding staircase led up to the open play area and private rooms.  All was done under the watchful eyes of The Club’s excellent security staff.  She was acquainted with the club owner, Lazarus Dean, through Steven.  She knew Lazarus made safety the number one priority and that was why Corinne felt secure in coming here.

She wasn’t here to play tonight.  She wasn’t ready for that.  Tonight she was only here to observe.  To reacquaint herself with the lifestyle she hadn’t been part of for so long.  Telling herself that, repeating it, she worked to take the edge off her nerves.

She was really here to see if she could ever be ready to play again.  If a man approached her with a pair of handcuffs, no matter how mild-mannered he may be, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t run away screaming.  So much for taking the edge off.

But that was why she’d come.  To gauge her responsiveness. To overcome her fear.  A waiter bore a tray with glasses of wine.  Corinne took one, took a sip of liquid courage and then wrapped her hands around the glass, desperately needing something to hold on to.   She was going to have to go upstairs to observe any play.  Up there were benches, bars, a suspension hook that Steven had modeled the one in his dungeon after and so much more.  All manner of items designed to enhance play, items that used to give her a delicious shiver and start her core pulsing just from looking at them, the suspension hook in particular.  But that was before Steven had subjected her to his version of suspension.  Corinne shuddered.  Now, she looked at the steps, kept looking but couldn’t bring herself to mount them.  Moving quickly, she turned away.

She was dressed casually in jeans and a loose fitting blouse with a high scoop neck but despite her modest attire several men looked her way with interest.  Instead of enjoying the male attention, the looks she was getting only increased her agitation and had her questioning, yet again, her decision to come here tonight.

When a man smiled at her and took steps toward her, Corinne’s stomach tightened.  Then Lazarus stepped into her path, effectively blocking her view of the man who’d been making his way to her and blocking that man’s path to her.  Corinne felt a relief that was vastly out of proportion to the situation.

“Hello, Corinne.  It’s good to see you.”

Lazarus was a handsome man.  Tall with blond hair that fell to his incredibly wide shoulders.

“Lazarus.”  Her voice came out weak from nerves. She forced some strength into it.   “Hello.  It’s good to see you too.”

And it was, until Lazarus reached for her to give her a hug.  Corinne stiffened and took a step back.  Two years ago, she’d considered Lazarus a friend.  But Steven had been more than a friend, he’d been her husband, her Dom.  She realized it was irrational to view the entire male population with suspicion and as a possible threat, but she’d been wrong about Steven, so wrong, and she no longer trusted her judgment.

She felt awful about rebuffing Lazarus who’d done nothing to deserve her apprehension but she couldn’t bring herself to take that step to him.

What was she doing here?  Coming here had definitely been a mistake.

“I have to go.  Lazarus, I need to go.”  Her voice came out shrill.

“Wait,” he said. “Corinne—”

He made no move to detain her which was just as well because she was precariously close to losing it.  She shouldn’t have come here. 
She shouldn’t have come.

She made a mad dash for the door.  She flung it open and collided with a man on his way in.  She pushed against him, desperate to get outside.  The man couldn’t have missed her desperation and he practically jumped out of her way to let her pass.

But another man was behind the first.  Nate.

“Hey.” Nate crouched so their eyes were level.  “You okay?”

“I just. . .”  Her chest tightened. “I just need . . .” She put her hand to her throat.  “. . . some . . .  air.”

Nate took her hand and whisked her out the door.  He released her and said, “You’ve gone pale.  Bend your knees, Corinne, Bend over.  Let’s get some blood back into your head.  Take slow, deep breaths.  In through your nose.  Out through your mouth.  Breathe with me.”

The cool air hit her and she gulped greedily, filling her lungs. Her heart was pounding too hard.  Her body was damp with perspiration.  Nate’s voice soothed her.  Eventually, following his lead, her breathing regulated.

“Better?”  Nate asked.

Corinne nodded and straightened.

“Easy.  Don’t come up too fast.”

She swallowed.  “I’m sorry.  I don’t know what came over me.”

“There’s no need to be sorry for your feelings.  Not about anything.  Not with me.  Never with me.”

She could see in his eyes he meant that.  He’d seen her at her worst.  They were long past the point of embarrassment.  Still, she felt embarrassed.  She twisted her fingers and lowered her gaze from his.

Nate tipped her chin up so she was once again looking at him then lowered his hand. “Want to tell me what happened in there?  Did anyone—”

His eyes and his tone had gone hard.  She shook her head quickly to alleviate his worry.  “No.  It wasn’t anything like that.”

“What happened then?”

She pushed hair that had gone damp with perspiration off her forehead. Her hand trembled, she noticed, saddened at the sight, saddened to the very heart of her at the panic attack she’d experienced just being at The Club.  “I thought I was ready for this again. I’m not.”

Nate held her gaze.  Gently he said, “What you aren’t ready for is the club scene.  But that doesn’t mean you aren’t ready for the lifestyle.”

Corinne continued to look up at him.  Was it possible he was right?  Had she taken a leap rather than a step in coming here?  She felt a flutter of hope, but it was quickly extinguished by fear.   “I wish that were true.”

Impatience simmered off Nate though Corinne could see him making an effort to control it.  No doubt he wanted to be inside The Club not out here babysitting her.  “Nate, just forget about this. Forget you ran into me tonight. I’m fine, really.  Don’t let me spoil your evening.”

Nate’s eyes glinted.  His jaw firmed. “No, we certainly wouldn’t want you to ruin my night.”

It struck Corinne that he was angry.  She flinched at the anger in his tone.  “Are you angry with me?”

“At myself.” He blew out a long breath.  His tone eased but his words didn’t. “Let’s get something straight here.  You are not a burden to me, not a duty or an obligation.  Every minute I spend with you is because I want to be with you.”

“You don’t need to say that to make me feel better—”

“I’m not saying it for any other reason than it’s the truth.  Listen to me, Corinne.  Hear me.  I’m going to say this again.  Every minute I spend with you is because I want to be with you.  It’s long past time I told you that.”

“I appreciate that, Nate.  Thank you.”

“How badly that bastard hurt you that you can look at yourself and not see what I’m seeing.” There was rage in Nate’s tone again and anguish.

Corinne shook her head.  “I don’t understand.”

“No. I see you don’t.  I’m going to rectify that right now.”

The wind picked up and Corinne shivered.

Nate ran a hand back through his hair.  “You’re cold.  This isn’t the place to have the conversation we’re going to have.  Let’s go and get some coffee.  I’m parked next to your car.”

Next to her car?  Then Nate knew she was here when he entered The Club?  The thought registered but before she could ask him about that, he’d led her to his vehicle.

“No need for me to drive over with you,” she said when he opened the passenger door of his truck for her.  “I’ll follow then you won’t need to go out of your way to bring me back here to get my car.”

Nate’s gaze sharpened on her for an instant.  He looked like he would object but then stopped himself.  Just walked her to her compact car.   Saw her inside. Waited until she’d locked the doors then returned to his own vehicle.

A coffee shop was a short distance on the same road.  Nate found them a corner table away from the noisy and boisterous patrons, laughing and talking loudly around them.  “I’ll be right back.”

Corinne watched him join a line at the front of the café. Instrumental music played over the sound system.  The lighting was dim and the scents of coffee mingled with chocolate filled the air.

She saw women glancing at Nate with blatant interest.  He looked good.  He always had.  If her life were different, she would have appreciated just how good he looked.  Nate was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket left open to show a crisp blue shirt beneath that matched his eyes.  His dark hair was a bit longer than its usual military cut, long enough now that a woman could sift her fingers through it.  Corinne felt a surge of heat warm her from head to toe.  She shook her head at where her thoughts were going but then stopped herself.  Having a normal, healthy reaction to a man was what she needed to put the past behind her.  If she could.  Too bad she wasn’t able to follow through on those thoughts.  Maybe she never would be.

The line moved quickly.  Nate returned to their table with two tall steaming mugs. He slid one in front of her.  She lowered her gaze to her drink so he wouldn’t be able to see the dark turn her thoughts had taken.  Nate had an uncanny knack for reading her.

She took a small sip to keep from burning her tongue and to draw out the moment.  He wanted to talk with her.  About her, was the impression she’d received from him.  She was already embarrassed and upset.  The last thing she wanted was to go over the night’s events again and she had a feeling that was where this conversation was headed.

To get his attention off herself and because she was genuinely interested, she asked, “How long before your next deployment?”

If he told her he was shipping out soon, she’d feel even more badly about ruining his evening and his chance to unwind and play at The Club.  Deployments, she’d learned, could be six months or longer.  She didn’t think he’d have a chance to relax in the places he’d be going.

She hoped Nate would allow her the change in topic and was pathetically grateful when he did.

“No more deployments,” he said.  At least not for the SEALs.” Nate took a drink from his own mug then said, “I resigned my commission with the Navy.”  He raised an eyebrow.  “You look surprised.”

Corinne shrugged.  “I guess I am.  You look suited to the Navy, the Navy to you.  I would have thought you’d never leave before retirement.  What are your plans?”

“I’ve already made them.  And you’re right being a SEAL does suit me.  That’s why I haven’t ventured too far from what I did for Uncle Sam.  Me and six other ex- SEALs got together, pooled our resources and started a private security firm.”

Intrigued, Corinne leaned forward.  “What do you do?”

“We provide security and protection for celebrities, entertainers, corporations and their corporate executives, to any who need that kind of service.”

Corinne frowned and her insides tightened.  “Sounds dangerous.”  At his sharp look, she shook her head again but her frown didn’t ease.  “Guess no more so than what you were doing as a SEAL.”

Nate reached across the table and engulfed her hand with his much larger one.  He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I like that you worry about me.”

Before she could do more than register his touch, the feel of his lips against her skin, Nate lowered her hand to the table and released her.  Before she could panic, she thought.  He touched her from time to time but never more than a quick brush of his fingers.  He’d been around her enough to know that since Steven, she’d come to fear a man’s touch.  Though she didn’t fear Nate at all in the way she feared men in general, still to her shame, even Nate’s touch unsettled her. Nate who’d never been anything but good to her.

Had her expression given her away?  Nate seemed to be studying her now, watching her face for every flicker of movement.

His body tensed and his gaze grew intent on her.  “I want to talk about what happened at The Club.”

Her hands tightened on the mug and any warmth she’d been feeling evaporated.

“I knew you were back in Blake,” Nate said.  “Your dad let me know that you were coming.”

Corinne couldn’t say it surprised her that her father would tell Nate she was returning to Blake, despite explaining to her dad that she didn’t want to impose on Nate any longer.  Her father worried about her and having Nate look in on her and look out for her would give her father some peace of mind.

“I knew you were at The Club tonight,” Nate went on.  “I hoped you coming back to Blake signaled a fresh start for you.  I thought you may find your way to Lazarus’s place and I asked him to call me if you showed up there.  When he called me, I went there specifically to see you.”

She didn’t know what to make of that.

Nate leaned forward, over the table that lay between them.  “I was glad you went there.  But I had no intention of letting you play or letting you leave there with anyone.” He pinned her with his gaze.  “Anyone but me.  When you give your submission to a man, I will be that man.”