Masterpiece (The Masters of The Order Book 1) (6 page)

“I’m suggesting that you go into this with an open mind.”

With his characteristic self-deprecation, Nicolai thwarted the suggestion. “I’m not the commitment type.”

Darion offered no quarter. “You’ve committed to the Order. Committing to a lover is the next step, unless I’ve misunderstood your feelings.”

“Wanting someone isn’t enough,” Nicolai murmured with that all too familiar resignation. “Have you forgotten who raised me? I’m Alexi Stavros’s son. I use people. They use me. A woman like Julianne deserves, well, she deserves better.”

Darion shuddered with hatred for Nicolai’s so-called father. Rich to the point of being corrupt, the depraved bastard didn’t bother to hide the fact that he purchased his son from some random French model. Nicolai grew up alone amidst an absentee father’s orgy of wanton pursuits. Darion spent years counseling Nicolai, trying to exorcise the demons of a childhood that had stolen his faith that anyone could love him simply for him. Joining the Order bolstered him, but never took away the belief that he wasn’t worthy of true love.

Darion believed in Nicolai’s character, even if Nicolai did not, and he was determined to make Nicolai see his potential.

“You are whatever you aspire to become, Nicolai.”

“Honestly, Darion, do you believe I’m worthy to take a woman into the Order?”

The doubt in his protégé’s voice was heart-wrenching, but at least they were hitting the truth behind Nicolai’s reluctance. Darion forced his voice to be neutral.

“Yes, I do. More than worthy. Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you, Nicolai. Take the next step."

*****

“He did what!”

Jerard wanted to jump through the phone line. No. He wanted to hang up so he beat feet to the gallery and pummel Nicolai Stavros.

He knew it. The guy was a goddamn Dom. Everything Julianne told him about Nicolai made him suspicious, but this little twist cinched it.

“You don’t understand, Jerard. Nicolai is a unique man. Our relationship is complex. I can’t explain it, but he’s good for me. I feel safe with him. I know he cares about me. He is challenging me so I can become a better artist.”

“And that makes it okay for him to hit you with a stick?” Jerard didn’t even try to hide the fury.

“He would never hurt me.”

“He did hurt you.” He was practically screaming.

“That’s just it, Jerard. It hurt at first, but then something happened. I don’t really understand my reaction, but I learned something from it. Nicolai gave me an experience that confirmed what I already suspected about myself. I know for sure now what I want.”

Jesus Christ, he was going to hyperventilate. His beautiful, innocent Julianne really was a submissive. She really did need a dominant lover. And Nicolai Stavros was seducing her.

“Are you his lover?”

“Of course not. He’s my teacher. For God’s sake, Jerard, he’s at least ten years older than me.”

“Eleven actually, but who’s counting?” He wasn’t about to let her brush him off. “What he did turned you on?”

“
Oui
, but not necessarily because it was Nicolai. I’ll admit I have a little crush on him, but who wouldn’t? Nicolai can have any woman he wants. I’ve seen the pictures. I can’t compete with that.”

Jerard didn’t like the ambiguity in Julianne’s answer and he despised the fact that she felt somehow inferior to Nicolai’s parade of groupies.

“I’ve told you one thousand times, Julí, you are an extraordinary woman. Do not underestimate your effect on men. All men, even players like Nicolai Stavros.”

He wanted to punch the wall at the thought that Julianne was so vulnerable. The Colonel sheltered her too much for her to be anything but naïve. And now she was locked away in that damn studio.

Except when Mr. Control-Freak-With-A-Stick lets her out.

He didn’t care what she said about age or experience. He understood the situation perfectly. After her reaction to that scene, Nicolai would want Julianne on her back. Or tied to a cross. Or across a padded bench. He couldn’t believe it hadn’t happened already.

He cursed under his breath. Julianne wasn’t prepared to take on a man like Nicolai Stavros. He had to protect her.

“Listen to me, Julí. This guy is not what he seems. He’s playing games with your mind. All of his rules and restrictions, he wants to control you. Punishing you like that is just another way to control you. You're not seeing him clearly. If you take off the rose colored glasses, you would see that you can't trust him. If you do, you could be really hurt. You could lose yourself to a man like that and he would just get off on it.”

“You make him sound like a monster.”

Jerard wanted to scream, “He is a monster,” but held his tongue. Julianne respected Nicolai. Putting him down would only make her resist what he was saying even more.

But she respected him too, didn’t she? After all, who did she turn to when she was confused about her sexuality?

She turned to him.

She trusted him.

Well, well, maybe two can play at Nicolai’s Dom-in-the-closet game.

“Do you trust me, Julianne?” he asked in his most commanding voice.

“Yes, Jerard. I do.”

Amazing how the change in my voice affects the tone of hers.
“I think you understand exactly the type of man that Nicolai Stavros is and why you react to him the way you do. I remember what you told me before I left for the United States. Power exchange, dominance and submission, sadomasochism is all very seductive, but it can also be dangerous. Safe play requires open eyes. If you trust me, I can teach you what you want and need to know."

The words were actually Zachary’s, but they were appropriate enough for this conversation and it was easier for Jerard to parrot the more experienced Dom.

“Thank you, Jerard. I would like you to do that.”

He’d expected surprise at his implied admission, but her voice offered admiration instead. Power flowed through him an aphrodisiac.

“Good. Now promise me you will keep your distance from Nicolai.”

Julianne’s voice flared. “How am I supposed to do that? Assuming I’d even want to, which I don’t. I am NOT a little girl anymore.”

Oops. Pushed too fast. She's more attached to Nicolai than she'll admit. What did Zachary say to do when a sub rebels? Repeat expectations. Firm, clear commands. Give her a chance to obey.

“I did not say you were a little girl, Julianne. You are a woman, a smart and very beautiful woman. I apologize for not respecting the work you have to do at Nicolai’s studio, but I still expect you to listen to what I tell you. When you are there, pay attention to what he does and ask yourself why he is doing it. Do not assume he isn’t attracted to you. We will keep talking about what’s happening with him so I can be sure you are safe. I care about you and will not see you hurt.” The authority in his voice impressed even him.

Julianne reacted as well. “I will, Jerard. I promise. Please don’t be angry with me."

The sub voice again.

His conscience bristled. Until this moment, he hadn’t truly appreciated the Dom’s responsibility in a relationship. He thought the girls he played with were just acting a part as was he. Julianne was not acting. This was real. Manipulating her sincerity was wrong.

It was dangerous too. If she placed herself in his care, he would be responsible for her well-being. He wasn’t sure he could actually handle that responsibility. He decided to back off until he talked to Zachary about what to do next.

The Dom disappeared.

“I’m not angry. To be honest, Julí, I don’t know what Nicolai wants from you, but I have no reason to trust him. Just don’t shut me out and we’ll figure things out together. Can you do that for me?”

“I love you too much to shut you out. Thank you for caring so much about me.”

“I love you too, Julí.”

“You don’t have to worry about Nicolai, Jerard, I can never...” her words faded and silence came across the line. She didn’t finish the sentence. “It’s really late. Can we talk more tomorrow?”

He knew she never would.

*****

Nicolai had walked through the Dungeon hundreds of times, but tonight it seemed like the first.

So many familiar things had become unfamiliar since Julianne entered his life and he supposed this was just one more.

He spotted Jacques through the iron bars sitting with a pretty redheaded friend and grinned to himself. Jacques could not resist a woman with red hair. He’d hoped to speak to him alone, but he was already over an hour late. Even if Jacques didn’t want company, the women who frequented this club would harass him until he picked one. Or two. Nobody came here for a quiet drink.

As he snaked his way through the crowd in the Oubliette, several women put themselves in his path. A few he recognized. A few were new faces, or at least he thought so. Jacques and he had orchestrated scenes in this place where they saw everything about a woman except her face.

Nicolai shrugged and kept moving.

Jacques stood and kissed him on both cheeks without introducing his companion who sat silently in the banquette trying not to look at Nicolai and failing miserably.

“Staring is rude, pet. Put you head down on the table,” Jacques nonchalantly instructed over his shoulder.

She immediately obeyed.

Nicolai slid into the booth next to the motionless woman. It was moments like these when Jacques’s brand of dominance make him uncomfortable.

After he sat, Jacques took one look at his face and in the course of three seconds, said, “I’m always willing to share, but I can see that’s not why you’re here." He sent his new friend to go sit with her head down on the bar, telling her not to move until he joined her there.

“Thanks. Is she someone special?” Part of Nicolai hoped the answer was yes, but he doubted it.

“I gave up on special a long time ago, cousin.”

Nicolai knew that was a lie.
Life really is a sadistic bitch.
He hadn’t gone looking for Julianne, yet she entered his life and gifted him with a promise of love. Jacques, on the other hand, had been searching for “his Julianne” for years. And while most men in his shoes would settle for something less than their ideal, Jacques kept faith that he would find his perfect match. His cousin was surprisingly romantic, in his own unique way.

Jacques didn’t speak, but the eyes said,
Talk. Now
.

Nicolai ran a hand through his hair and put his trust in Jacques once again. He told Jacques what happened with Julianne in the studio and relayed his conversation with Darion. When he finished, Jacques put his elbows on the table and peered at him over steepled fingers.

“You expect me to be shocked, don’t you?”

“Of course, I was.”

“That’s because you…" one finger pointed in his direction, then returned to its upright position, "…are a blind fool. I’m not a bit surprised. I’ve known since the first time you described your mysterious apprentice that you would fall in love with her.”

Nicolai was stunned. Not because he hadn’t expected Jacques to be supportive. He had. He was stunned because hearing Jacques speak those words out loud made the possibility seem so real.

Could Jacques be right? Could I actually be falling in love?

The fact that he never allowed himself to believe in the happily-ever-after did not mean that he didn’t harbor an ideal for his perfect match. That he didn't imagine
la femme exquise
, picture every last detail with the full palette of his artist's imagination and dream of the bliss of sharing a life with her.

He nearly gasped out loud when his physical ideal walked, or should he say stomped, into his office all those months ago and stared right through him, admiring him like he was some sort of a god. He remembered the feeling as he fell into the violet of her adoring eyes. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep his hungry gaze from wandering over every luscious inch of his young apprentice. She was so fucking beautiful.

Since then, the attraction had only grown. Physicality aside, Julianne possessed a beguiling mix of qualities. On the one hand, she was talented, intelligent and ambitious. On the other, she was cultured, gentle and irresistibly compliant. He couldn’t have come up with that combination if he’d written a wish list. Actually, he had written a list, just never believed that one woman could embody it. Now that he’d met one who did, he wanted her.

All of her.

Every last exquisite bit of her.

“Stop running, Nico. I’m thrilled that you found her. God knows, if I thought I’d found my perfect woman, I wouldn’t be sitting here chatting with
un crétin
like you. What are you waiting for? Go get her.”

“And exactly how is this supposed to work, Jacques? ‘Come, Julianne, let me show you my playroom,’” Nicolai scoffed. “Have you forgotten that we’re talking about a girl with virtually no experience with sex? I’m not exactly a hearts and flowers fantasy.”