Masters of the Shadowlands 8 - If only (35 page)

One drunken evening, Galen admitted he felt Vance was the brother he’d never had. They’d never spoken of it again.

Well, tough. Tonight Vance wasn’t in the mood to worry about Galen’s hang-ups. “If I can’t beat up on the guy I consider a brother, who can I use as a punching bag?”

Galen froze, then snorted. “I scored the most hits, you asshole.”

“Maybe. But mine were more effective.”

“Point.” Galen touched his jaw gingerly. “You think she’ll feel sorry enough for me to keep from killing me?”

“She has a soft heart.” And considering the way she could ignite… “And a temper. I’d call it fifty-fifty you’ll survive the next hour.”

“Thanks.” Galen pulled in a breath. “I can’t believe I lost it like that. Some fucking Dom I am.”

“Scene was over. Aftercare was done.” Vance studied his partner. No matter the provocation, Galen wouldn’t have reacted like that during a scene—he kept his control too tight. But after? Yeah, his defenses had been way down. “You didn’t react as a Dom but as a lover.”

That got a wince. “Makes it worse.”

“Nah. Lovers are allowed to explode if a little female puts her pretty ass in danger.” Vance’s gut tightened as his own anger surged.

“That in the rule book somewhere?”

“Hell, yeah. If you hadn’t yelled at her, I would have.”

“Best it was only me.” Galen glanced at the liquor cabinet but shook his head. Neither of them resorted to alcohol for liquid courage or solace. “Guess it’s time to beg forgiveness.”

Vance nodded and started to rise.

“No. Give me a minute to bear the brunt of her anger—I deserve it. If needed, you can play good cop.”

“Got it.” Vance held the frozen vegetables to his face as he listened to Galen’s footsteps climbing the stairs.

A knock. “Sally?”

If she answered, her voice was too faint for Vance to hear.

“Sally, please answer the door.”

Silence.

“I’ll give you space if you want, but right now I need to know you’re all right.”

Silence.

“Open the door.
Now
.”

Nothing happened. Vance frowned. When Galen punched up the power in his voice, all submissives—and quite a few others—responded.

Silence.

With a grunt of pain, Vance rose. Where the hell had they put the extra key to that room?

Not long after, Vance managed to shove out the metal crap she’d pushed into the lock, insert the key, and unlock the door.

Galen walked over to the unrumpled bed. “She hasn’t been in the bed.”

“Shower and tub are dry.” Vance glanced at her desk, worry increasing. “Her laptop is gone.”

Galen limped down the stairs.

Following, Vance held his aching ribs.

The grassy area under her balcony showed she’d jumped. And walked toward the drive. Her old red Toyota was still parked, blocked by Galen’s black sports sedan.

In the cold twilight, Galen’s face looked stark with worry. “Where the hell did she go?”

* * * *

Early that morning at the airline terminal, Sally slid out of Jessica’s car.
Well, this is it. Leaving
. Her whole body pulsed with pain. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if the aching could be relieved by physical comfort.

How could she have been so stupid? She should never have told them about her hacking.

Should never have fallen in love.

Jessica pulled the backpack from the trunk and set it on the curb. “I’m going to park the car so I can sit with you.”

“You don’t need to do that. It’s not that long till my flight, and I still have to get through security.” Sally frowned at her watch. Six in the morning? “I… God, Jessica, I dragged you out of bed, didn’t I? You’re going to get in trouble with Master Z. I’m really sorry.” How self-centered she’d been. “I should have called a taxi.”

Jessica scowled. “If you’d done that, I’d have given you a good bitch slap. Shadowkittens hang together against all comers, even Doms.” She hugged Sally with a grin. “I just told Z a friend needed a ride. If the Feds figure it out, well, Z understands loyalty. He won’t spank me too hard.”

Tears rose to Sally’s eyes, and she blinked them back. “Thank you. For the ride. For buying my ticket on your card.”

“Pffft. You gave me a check; not like I’m out any money. But…for the trouble, you can pay me back by calling once you get…wherever you’re going. Or else I’ll worry.”

Sally nodded. “I can do that. For my…for the Feds, if they ask, can you just not tell them anything?”

Jessica crossed her arms over her chest. Braless. Barefoot. She’d obviously run right out of the house to rescue Sally. “Did you tell me where you were going?”

“No. You said not to.”

Jessica smirked. “Exactly. I won’t lie to Z, but I can honestly inform him that you never told me.”

Despite the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, Sally found a smile. “You’re a sneaky little brat.”

“I am. But your Doms are FBI, girlfriend. They’ll find you.”

“They’re not mine.” Not anymore. “And they won’t try very long.” Not after she’d caused a fight. Ran away from them. “If they figure out you drove me here, can you tell them I said I’m sorry for causing them trouble. That I’m safe and thanks for the fun times.”

“Pretty crappy times if they made you look like this, the assholes.”

“It wasn’t their fault. I did it all.” Sally felt tears rising. “Gotta go.” Blinking hard, she hugged Jessica, grabbed her backpack, and ran into the terminal.

* * * *

She loved him. Sitting at his desk in the home office, Galen scrubbed his hands over his face. He couldn’t get the memory of her soft expression out of his head. Flushed and beautiful, she’d looked him straight in the eyes and said that.
“I love you.”

He hadn’t said it back. But he did.

Didn’t want to.
Shouldn’t
. But he did.

Law enforcement and relationships weren’t a good mix. Maybe some couples could deal with knowing that one partner could well die young, leaving the other to grieve. Not all—there was a reason the divorce rate for cops and agents was so high.

But most hadn’t experienced the grief and guilt of losing a loved one to criminals seeking revenge. Ursula hadn’t volunteered to be murdered.

How could Galen ever risk putting another woman in such danger?

But did he have the right to step away from someone who loved him? Or to hurt two people besides himself.

Sally loved Vance—and Vance loved her back. Fuck, his partner deserved a sweetie like Sally. Vance had always wanted a wife and children; maybe not this soon, but a person couldn’t dictate when love arrived.

What kind of a bastard would Galen be to let his fucking worries mess up his partner?

He should step away now. Let Sally go…and tell Vance to keep her. Perhaps it would hurt less if he knew they were together.

But Galen would lose them both. Pain stabbed into his chest so sharp and swift that he put his hand over his sternum.
Hell
. He’d known losing Vance would hurt, but the thought of being without the imp was just as bad.

After another breath, he nodded. He’d do what he had to do.

The door to the office opened, and Vance walked in—and stared. “Fuck, pard, mellow. We’ll find her. She hasn’t used a credit card, so she’s probably still in the city.”

“That’s not the problem.” Galen’s voice came out sounding as weak as if he lived in a nursing home.
Christ, pull it together
. “After I help you find her, I’ll back out.”

“Back out…how?”

“You and Sally are good together.” Galen forced his mouth into a smile. “You can name the first kid after me.”

Vance’s nostrils flared as he pulled in a breath. “You stubborn asshole.”

“We never talked—”

“Didn’t think we needed to.” Vance crossed his arms over his chest. “But we will now. Lay our fucking cards on the table so I can kick your ass.”

Galen felt the rise of anger like a slow burn. Couldn’t Vance just say thanks and move on? “I don’t want a wife.”

“Bullshit. You don’t want to risk losing someone you care about. Can’t stand feeling guilty. You pussy.” Vance stalked across the room and stared down at him. “Bet if you’d been in a car accident and your wife died, you’d never drive again.”

“You don’t know—”

“Jesus, bro, I lost a partner in a takedown. Been through the if-I’d-only-moved-faster remorse. Had a partner turn into an alcoholic. Been through the if-only-I’d-been-more-supportive remorse. We all feel guilty about shit we could’ve done better. The rest of the world gets past it.”

Galen stood. Considered smashing his fist into that sarcastic mouth.

Vance’s gaze met his. “It’s time to move on, Galen. You’ve hung on your guilt too long.”

Maybe. But the past didn’t just disappear. Neither did worries over someone’s safety. Galen closed his eyes and exhaled. But others made it through to the other side.
Time to man up
. “Anything else you want to get off your chest,” he asked in a dry voice.

Vance grinned and leaned his hip against the desk. “Long as we’re being all girlie here, yeah.” He crossed his arms again. “We live together. Top together. Co-Dom when there’s a sub in the house. Always figured we’d co-husband together if we found someone.”

Fuck
. “You get any more in touch with your feminine side, and you’ll need tampons.”

Vance’s lips quirked. “Yeah, well…” His voice changed into the tone he used to coax information from suspects and submissives. “Can you trust me enough to share your idea of the future?” He waited.

Fucking Dom manipulative techniques were fucking effective.

Galen paced across the room and stared out the window. The glossy hibiscus shrub boasted a wealth of flashy red trumpet flowers…and they’d wilt away by late afternoon.

No lasting power.

He scowled at the bush. When he’d joined the FBI, no one mentioned one of his enemies could be his own mind. But he’d never backed away from a fight before. Wouldn’t start now. And he’d win this one.

So. Although he still wouldn’t mind putting a fist in the pushy bastard’s face, Vance deserved an answer.

Galen sighed. If he could conquer his worry and guilt, then…then, he could think of nothing better than living in the future with Sally. With Vance at his side.

Ayuh.

He turned and looked his partner in the eye. “Being the older husband, I expect to name our first kid.”

* * * *

A few hours later, Galen followed his partner through the back gate into Z’s private gardens. A distant rumbling made him look up. The air was muggy, and black clouds piled up like skyscrapers on the western horizon. Yeah, it was almost June. The afternoon thunderstorm season had started. Getting drenched would be a fitting end to a dismal day.

They still hadn’t found Sally.

Since she didn’t carry much cash, they figured she’d holed up with a friend, and so they’d called the trainees. No luck. Tried the Shadowlands submissives, one by one. Good thing that grad school had limited the imp’s social time or they’d have been calling every female in her university.

They’d gone through the entire list of Shadowkittens without success.

Then Z had called after hearing from the other Masters. Although Jessica was home, she hadn’t mentioned receiving their voice mail.

Yeah, she knew something.

“Think Jessica will tell us where Sally went?” Vance asked as they walked across the veranda.

“Not a chance.” That little banty hen had a rep for defending the submissives. She was as protective in her way as Z was in his, so coaxing information out of her might be tricky.

Jessica lived with Z on the Shadowlands mansion’s third floor, and by the time he reached the top, Galen’s knee hurt like a son of a bitch.

Z opened the door to their knock. “Gentlemen.” Dressed in black jeans and a loose black shirt, he led them through the kitchen, the dining room, and into the living room. The light from arched windows streamed over the creamy walls, the dark red carpet, and glinted off Jessica’s long golden hair. Curled in a corner of the leather couch, she stared at them with wary eyes. The determined tilt of her chin was worrisome.

Vance lifted an eyebrow at Galen, showing he recognized they were dealing with a hostile subject.

As Vance leaned against the stone fireplace, Galen picked up a ladder-back chair from the dining area and set it next to the couch. Inside her comfort zone.

Wisely staying out of the kill zone, Z took a chair at the other end of the couch and leaned back with his fingers steepled on his stomach. From his reserved expression, he’d intervene if he felt they were overstepping their bounds. And during the phone call, he’d made those bounds quite clear.

Galen straddled the chair, resting his forearms on the back. After giving Jessica a smile that wasn’t returned, he asked gently, “Did Sally tell you what happened?”

Her mouth opened. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized the trap. This wasn’t a submissive who would lie to—or in front of—her Dom, so she couldn’t say,
I haven’t seen her
. But she would have no problem with evasions. “I’m sorry, but I believe conversations between friends are private.”

“Jessica, we’re worried about her,” Vance said, forcing her to split her attention between them. “Our lakeshore drive isn’t a safe area for a woman on foot at night. Can you, at least, tell us if you picked her up?”

“I don’t want to talk with you.” Her mouth turned mulish.

“I think that was a fair question, kitten,” Z murmured.

“Dammit,” she muttered and glared at Vance. “Yes, I picked her up. But she’s not anywhere on Shadowlands’ property. And she’s safe.”

Thank God
. The tension in Galen’s chest eased slightly. Jessica wouldn’t say that unless she was sure. “Thank you, pet.”

“That’s all you’re going to get from me, even if he lets you beat me. You made her cry.”

The verbal hit sliced into Galen’s heart like a knife. “I did. And I’d like to apologize to her and make amends. Won’t you help us find her?”

“No. I won’t.” The glance she cast at Z was antagonistic. “No matter what
he
does.”

Oh hell. Now he’d caused trouble between two people he liked very much. The exhaustion weighing Galen down was joined by frustration and a goodly amount of despair. Everything he’d done in the last twenty-four hours had gone wrong.