Matchbox Girls (22 page)

He walked around the building touching it here and there, and then stepped backward into the park. Then he turned and looked at me. He just... looked at me for a while. At first I tried to pretend I wasn’t looking at him but that was pretty stupid, so I stopped. It really bothered me that I didn’t know his name, so much that I almost asked him what it was. But I hated the thought of giving in like that. Eventually, he walked close enough to talk to me. He said, “The blond guy you’ve been hanging around with... you should stay away from him. He’ll hurt you when he remembers his name again.” 

Who the hell was he to tell me who to hang around with? That must have shown up on my face, because he kind of shrugged and turned away. So I said, “I know his name already.”

He turned back again and looked me over, just like he’d been inspecting the building. Then he asked, “Why haven’t your people taken care of you?” I had no idea how to answer that, and it was pretty clear he wasn’t actually talking to me, either, no more than he’d talked to the building.

I had to say something, so I said, “What do you know about my people?” What did “my people” mean, anyway? Only then it occurred to me that maybe he knew my mom.

But he said, “I know your blond friend doesn’t like them very much.”

I decided to attack. “Don’t YOU know his name?”

He laughed. “Oh yes. I’ve got it here, safe and sound.” He tapped his head, and then crossed his arms, looking at me like I was a zoo exhibit again. I was starting to think he WAS dangerous in the normal ways, and if he got any closer I was running for the stores.

But I wasn’t done asking questions, as long as he stayed away. “So you did do something to him! Why?” I can’t believe I asked “why” instead of “what.” But that’s what I asked and that’s what he answered. He said, “He would have gotten in my way. I’m investigating something interesting.” He trailed off, like he was thinking about something else. “In any case, what I did won’t last. You’d best not be around him when he remembers who he is.” And then he just turned around and walked away.

I decided not to tell Cat about this. I wouldn’t be telling him anything he didn’t already know, except that he might not like me when he remembers himself. And I want to think about it for a while. I’m afraid of exactly what that guy said. But surely if he was cruel or violent, it would show up even now, wouldn’t it?

There was half of an entry, faded at the top, talking about one of the diarist’s female friends and her sexual misadventures, and then another entry that was just one line:

Cat likes kissing.

Marley stopped reading the diary long enough to put her head in her hands. She wanted to reach into the past and shake the writer. She flipped to the end of the diary, which was, unsurprisingly, blank. Had it been blank before? She couldn’t remember. She thought about asking AT to read the diary instead; the writer was probably a nephil just like Marley, forgotten and overlooked by her own people. But she had no idea what to make of the amnesiac Cat, except that making out with him seemed like a bad idea.

I’m careful. I’m watching him. I really, really like him. He’s sweet and gentle and noble. He always wants to do the right thing. He’s been protective of me but he trusts me, too. He really trusts me. I hope I’m doing the right thing.

Cat quit his job today because they wanted him to ignore some kind of underhanded deal. He just couldn’t do it. But then he got another one almost right away. He’s just so damn pretty. He likes this one more because it lets him move around and look for the nameless guy. That guy must be hiding somehow. I’ve tried looking for him again, too, and I haven’t been able to find the same hole in the namespace that led me to him before.

*

My house has rats. My aunt finally got fed up and put traps down recently. One of the traps had a baby rat in it today. I was really depressed about this when I saw Cat. Apparently he’s just like his namesake, because while he was nice, he wasn’t very sympathetic. He PRAISED me for being so COMPASSIONATE but he said it had to be done, if the rats were damaging the house. That made me cranky, even though I guess he’s right. He tried to distract me by kissing my neck, but I wasn’t in the mood.

There was a big drawing of a rose on the next page, and several rows of the entry-break doodles before another entry, and then several blank pages. Marley wondered how much time was passing between entries. There were a few brief notes about the diarist’s friends. Cat admitted he had a job only so he could stay near the diarist and do nice things with her. It was so sweet that Marley felt uncomfortable reading it.

Finally, she came to another long entry, only marred by the fading at the top. It was the last one in the book.

I hope the nameless man was wrong. I have to do it now, or else I think I’ve lost my Cat.

It’s my own fault. We were making out and at one point I was so unfocused I said a larger part of his name. And I never thought it would get the reaction it did. He jumped away from me and started looking around like he’d never seen his own room before. At first he seemed terrified, then angry. He said he remembered more now. Not everything, not where he’d come from. But that he was a”justice-keeper,” and the man he was chasing was a criminal. He wasn’t human, but he was a protector of humans. Then he started treating me like I was a criminal too. He accused me of collaborating with the nameless man. Of seducing him and keeping him distracted and tangled in whatever the nameless man had done to him. I tried to tell him he was wrong. But I DID keep his name from him. How could I know it would have such an effect? I tried to explain. I just wanted to be close to him. But he left.

I’ve been crying all night. Is he right? Did I sabotage him on purpose? I didn’t think it would matter. Even when I wasn’t scared of telling him my secrets anymore, I didn’t know how to start. “Oh, by the way, I’ve known your name since I first laid eyes on you but I haven’t told you.” What excuse could I possibly have?

But I think I love him. Or at least, I love who he was before I screwed up. This is what I was afraid would happen. That he’d remember who he was and then he wouldn’t like me anymore. I wanted him to be happy, and he WAS happy with me, I’m sure of it. And surely who he was WITHOUT all his memories is who he REALLY is, right? So that person will still be there, even when he remembers everything, even if it’s buried underneath everything else? If he loves me, he’ll love me even afterward. It won’t just go away... it can’t just go away. That’s not how love works.

But right now he sees me as the bad guy, and I deserve it. From his perspective I AM the bad guy. I had information he needed and I kept it from him. But I STILL have information he wants. I only whispered part of his name and he only got back part of his memory. So if I tell him the rest, he’ll remember everything. And I’ll prove to him that I’m on his side. And then even if we can’t be together, he’ll know I love him. So I’m going to go find him and tell him. And if that doesn’t work out, at least something good has been returned to the world.

Here I go. I hope you can forgive me, Akaterin Ettoriel.

-twenty-four-

A
nd there it was. Marley was certain that the narrator was the twins’ mother. What Corbin had said about the connection between the writer and the decoder, the journal itself, and what the twins had said about their mother being “gone” but not dead—it all made sense. Marley could all too easily see a teenager in trouble abandoning her newborns with a friendly face. It had happened to her, after all.

That Ettoriel was their father, she was less certain about. If he had claimed paternity from the start, Marley would have felt a lot less confident about keeping them from him in Zachariah’s absence. That he didn’t seemed significant. But perhaps he didn't know?

Marley flipped through the pages again. Even if he
was
the father, she knew he wanted the twins for grim reasons. If he wasn’t the father, what was the point of drawing her attention to this book, and why had it been encoded? She wondered how the story had ended. Had the girl—she thought she remembered Zachariah referring to the twins’ mother as “Nina” once—had Nina been pregnant when she’d gone to talk to Ettoriel at the end? Had they even had sex? Blasted, cursed vague writing. Or perhaps the significant details had been in the empty pages. There was something ominous and horrifying about the way the diary ended.

With such thoughts, without entirely noticing, Marley fell asleep. She was only vaguely aware of AT taking her shoes off and Neath jumping on her chest. Then she was aware of nothing at all.

With a shock like waking, the fairy Tinker Chime squirmed his way through a wall. Marley held Neath in her arms, sitting cross-legged on the canopied bed.

“I don’t like this anymore than you do,” said the fairy. Neath hissed, and Tinker Chime flapped his tiny hand at her dismissively.

“Are you
real
?” Marley asked. “Why do I only dream about you? It’s very hard to take you seriously when you only show up when I’m asleep.”

“You wouldn’t like it if we showed up for real. But that doesn’t matter! What matters is that without you, we’re going to lose everything.”

“Even if I agreed to help you, what could I do from inside a dream?” Neath kneaded her lap, purring unhappily.

The fairy grinned. “You’d be surprised at what can be accomplished within dreams. We’ve found a weapon for you to use against the Dark Lord and it's
so
poetic—”

“Dark Lord. Is this the first time you’ve mentioned a Dark Lord? Before it was just about peril and your People In Need.”

“What did you think we needed rescuing from? A bad case of bellyaches? The Dark Lord, not content with taking everything from us, now enslaves my people. Day and night we toil under his whip. It took all of my people’s remaining power to send me to you. And you’ve kept me waiting so long.”

Marley narrowed her eyes. “Why don’t you just go to somebody else?”

“No one else can do it! I was sent to you. If there was a mistake—and oh, I’d love to believe there was a mistake—I’m stuck with it now.”

“That attitude isn’t making you any friends, you know. Are you really a fairy? I’ve heard something about fairies—or maybe fae—lately...” Marley tried to remember. The waking world seemed like the dream now.

The fairy watched her with bright eyes. At last Marley said, “The kids talk about fairies a lot. Corbin mentioned them, too. Something about a Covenant...? Do you know anything about that?”

“Is it a covenant if we did not agree?” The fairy’s whisper was barely audible. “The Covenant is a fairy tale told by angels. I know nothing of it. I only know there are three locks on three chains that make us prisoners and slaves. Only a very great weapon can break these chains.”

Marley rose to her knees. “Are you mixed up with Ettoriel?”

The fairy did a backflip and when his head came up again, a grin distorted his face. “Ettoriel? Who is Ettoriel? We are compelled by the Dark Lord Tibbersnaufer. He uses our own power against us, forcing us to steal people and wreak havoc in the mortal world. Foul, wicked Dark Lord Tibbersnaufer. But we will help you get the weapon! You must come to us and understand it, and then all will be well.”

Marley stared at the small fairy, her head spinning. Something was wrong. Something was wrong with him, and something was wrong elsewhere. Neath was stalking the fairy again, and she seemed larger with every paw she slid forward.

Marley remembered Kari’s fairy with a leash dangling from its body.
Fairies are trouble. Can’t trust ‘em. They keep their promises, basically.
Carefully, she said, “Can you swear to tell me only the truth?”

“If I did that, why, I’d have very little to say.” The fairy was barely paying attention to Neath, so closely was he watching her. A paw larger than Tinker Chime batted at him and he flitted away at the last second.

Marley rubbed her head. Something was very wrong. She wanted to wake up, but the walls of her dream enclosed her, like the kaiju’s grip on her wrist. The fairy was still staring at her intently. The expression on his face was very different than any she’d seen there before, hard and focused instead of cute and petulant. He made a gesture with one hand, as if pushing something away. The fear that rose with the memory of the kaiju ebbed away. The dream entangled her, but only because it wanted to help her, because she was so close to... something.

Something was wrong. Neath was yowling softly, and she was the size of a bobcat.

“Can you swear you’re not working with Ettoriel?” Marley managed to say. Her tongue felt thick.

“One weapon, and perhaps another, to break a chain.” Chime said. “If you step through the door, you can find us.”

Neath lowered her head and shook it. Then she turned in a circle and leapt. She landed on Marley’s chest. Marley fell backward, as Neath sank her teeth into Marley’s hand.

The dream shattered in a red-hot wash of pain.

Marley sat up fighting. Neath really was biting her hand. Her face was being licked by a dog, and AT was saying, “
Please
wake up, Marley.” The panic in her voice was frightening.

Marley pushed a canine snout away and clutched at her injured hand as she got up. She glanced around and the crazed sense of wrongness crystallized. There was AT, and there was Lissa, but Kari was gone. Neath clawed her way up to Marley’s shoulder and clung there.

“
Where is she
?” Marley realized the growled words had come from her own throat. She scanned the room wildly, then planted her feet and looked again at Lissa and AT. Two of AT’s dogs had shown up. One, the black one, was lying on the cot beside Lissa, one large paw draped casually over her lap. The little girl looked guilty and frightened. The brown dog was the owner of the tongue that had tried to lick Marley awake. He sat beside AT and gave her a big doggy grin, his tail moving hopefully. AT, however, was worried and guilty-looking.