Maternal Instinct (35 page)

Hugh let go of her hand and gripped her chin, lifting it so she couldn't evade his gaze. "Don't make it be nothing." He sounded deadly serious. "Not if you mean it."

Nell was shaking. "Hugh…" Her voice failed. She started again. "What was it that you were trying to tell me?"

"That I've been falling in love with you for months."

The breath she drew sounded more like a sob. "Don't—don't lie. Because of what I said."

"I'm the one who started this." His tone was suddenly tender, his fingers caressing rather than painfully tight on her chin. "I said I wanted more. What I wanted was you to love me. To know you're committed, that you aren't going to kick me out some day. I don't want to be a convenience, Nell. A name for the kid, an extra paycheck, someone to change some diapers."

"I never wanted your money," she whispered.

His mouth crooked into a smile. "No. You didn't, did you?"

"Now, the diapers…" she dared to tease, on a swell of hope that hurt her chest.

His grin was devastating, wiping the tiredness from his face. "But, you see, you've got to take the bad with the good."

"Nothing about being married to you has been bad," Nell told him with absolute certainty. "Except," she amended, "for my fear that you were here just because your honor demanded it."

"When I figured out that you were pregnant," he said, "I thought I should be feeling all kinds of things. You know, the standard stuff, starting with shock and dismay. Okay, I was shocked. But you know what?"

She shook her head.

"I was glad," he said simply. "The idea of you pregnant with my baby turned me on, and made me feel big and manly, and gave me the idea that maybe you'd marry me even if you weren't falling in love."

Nell was stunned. "Even then…"

"There was always something about you," he admitted. "I tried to pretend I didn't like you, but I'm not sure I was ever fooled."

Now her gaze fell. "But … I'm not as pretty as the women you dated. I'm not … brilliant, or talented at anything in particular, or witty, or…" She gave up listing the virtues she lacked. "I'm ordinary," she concluded.

His brows rose. "And I'm not?"

"You're the sexiest, handsomest man I've ever seen," she told him honestly. "Come on! Every woman at the station flirts with you. I've been daydreaming about you since … forever."

"Then," he murmured, "we're even," and kissed her. The touch of his lips was gentle, seeking. He nipped her lower lip, she ran her tongue along his. By the time he lifted his head, she felt drugged.

"You love me." Had he really said he did?

"Yup. And," he smoothed her hair from her face and looked at her tenderly, "I don't appreciate you putting my wife down. She's softhearted, smart, pretty and damn sexy. She's a great mother and a strong woman. I'm counting my blessings every day for finding her."

The tears came suddenly, shocking her. They poured down her cheeks and clogged her sinuses. "Hugh!" she sobbed, and threw herself into his arms.

He murmured against her hair and held her tight, letting her cry herself out against his shoulder. When she was done, he let her go clean herself up in the bathroom. After she'd blown her nose and washed her face, she went back to the living room, wondering if she'd been dreaming. Maybe he wasn't home yet. Waiting, she might have fallen asleep…

But he was right where she'd left him, slouched low on the couch, his face relaxed, his eyes closed. He looked ready to fall asleep.

Nell felt abruptly guilty. "You haven't eaten, have you? And you must be exhausted!"

He sat up, opening his eyes. "I wouldn't mind something to eat. After that… Well, I don't know about you, but I was starting to think about bed." His smile was sly and sexy.

She blushed as if she was sixteen years old again, not a woman well embarked on her second pregnancy. "The thought had crossed my mind," she confessed primly.

"Then let's go dig in the refrigerator."

"I saved you some manicotti. It won't take five minutes to heat it."

"Thank you," he said quietly, following her to the kitchen.

"I've taken to thinking like a wife," she told him, bemused by how easily it had happened.

"My mother was right." Hugh leaned against the counter and watched her pop the plate with leftovers in the microwave. "I have ended up blissfully happy. She just doesn't know I planned it that way."

Tears threatened again, and Nell sniffed. "Damn! I haven't cried so much since…" Since she was sixteen and realized she was pregnant and would be on her own. "It must be hormones."

Her husband caught her face in his big hands and gently wiped the tears with his thumbs. Just before he kissed her again, he said, "Good excuse."

By the time she surfaced from the kiss, Nell had to fake indignation. "I'm a cop! What would it look like if I was crying all the time?"

"That you were a pregnant cop?"

She made an inarticulate sound signifying annoyance. He kissed her again.

"Where's Kim?" Hugh asked when he lifted his head this time, apparently noticing belatedly that his stepdaughter was absent.

"The library." Nell glanced at the clock. "It's closing right now. She should be home any time."

"She's changed."

"Uh-huh." Nell told him about Kim's new ambition. "I'll have to thank Connor next time I see him."

"Sunday dinner at his house, if that's okay."

She murmured agreement. "It must be our turn. Past our turn."

"It'll be crowded, but why not?"

The microwave beeped, and she took out the manicotti, adding a glass of milk, the salad she'd put on a plate and covered with clear wrap, and a piece of French bread.

Then she sat across the table from him and watched him eat. "What you suggested a while back, about the upstairs. It was a good idea. I know Chris is planning to give me notice in the next couple of months. He's getting married, and his fiancée wants to stay in Seattle. I won't rent it again."

Hugh recognized the true meaning of her offer. It was a sort of dive into space, trusting that parachute. "Good," he said quietly.

"We'll have to figure out whether we want to tear out the kitchen, or what."

"We could take down some walls on this floor. Have a family room, or enlarge the dining room and living room. If all the bedrooms were upstairs…"

To her surprise, she liked the idea. He had a big family. She wanted to be able to entertain them. There should be room for the little ones to run, and the teenagers to huddle. For more children, if Hugh and she decided to have them.

"Okay," she said.

His smile was unexpectedly sweet. "I hear Kim's car. What say we clean up quick and run for the bedroom?"

"If you want to go ahead, I'll—"

He grabbed her hand. "Not a chance. Consider this a … codicil to our honeymoon."

"Oh." Nell was blushing again, and her cheeks weren't the only place she felt warm. "How about if we just leave the dishes?"

"Better yet." He drew her close for a kiss that tasted of dinner and love.

The screen door banged at the same moment they reached their room.

"Mo-
om
!
I
'm
home!" Nell heard, just as Hugh quietly closed the bedroom door.

For the rest of the night, she was far too happily occupied with her husband to give another thought to the daughter she had or the child not yet born.

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