Mating in Captivity (31 page)
Read Mating in Captivity Online
Authors: Esther Perel
Tags: #Health & Fitness, #Sexuality, #Social Science, #Sociology, #General, #Relationships, #Dating, #Sex
106
Grown-ups never understand
:
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. 1943
The Little Prince
, trans. by Richard Howard. New York: Harcourt.
106
So, like a forgotten fire
:
Gaston Bachelard, from
http://en.thinkexist.com/quotation/so-like-a-forgotten-fire-a-childhood-can-always/363615.html
.
109
The sex therapist Jack Morin
:
Jack Morin. 1995.
The Erotic Mind
. New York: HarperCollins, p. 115.
111
As Roland Barthes wrote
:
Roland Barthes. 1977.
Fragments d’un discours amoureux
. Paris: Éditions du Seuil, p. 44.
113
The psychoanalyst Jessica Benjamin writes
:
Jessica Benjamin. 1988.
The Bonds of Love: Psychoanalysis, Feminism, and the Problem of Domination
. New York: Pantheon, p. 98.
122
Michael Bader links the idea of selfishness
:
Michael J. Bader. 2002.
Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasties
. New York: St. Martin’s, p. 147.
125
Anne Roiphe
. 2002.
Married: A Fine Predicament
. New York: Basic Books, pp. 149–50.
132
The Italian historian Francesco Alberoni
:
Francesco Alberoni. 1987. L’érotisme. Paris: Éditions Ramsey, p. 28.
138
Sexy Mamas
, by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans
:
Cathy Winks and Anne Semans. 2004.
Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids
. New York: Inner Ocean Publishing.
145
Adam Gopnik contrasts America’s asexual model of reproduction
:
Adam Gopnick. 2001.
Paris to the Moon
. New York: Random House, pp. 299, 301.
152
The whole fauna of human fantasies
:
Louis Aragon, from http://en.thinkexist.com/quotation/the_whole_fauna_of_human_fantasies-their_ marine/323656.html.
156
The psychoanalyst Michael Bader
:
Michael J. Bader. 2002.
Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasties
. New York: St. Martin’s.
157
Nancy Friday writes
:
Nancy Friday. 1992.
The Erotic Impulse: Honoring the Sensual Self
. David Steinberg, ed. New York: Tarcher, p. 14.
167
The sex therapist Jack Morin
:
Jack Morin. 1995.
The Erotic Mind
. New York: HarperCollins, p. 101.
171
Heterosexual pornography, predominantly produced by and for men
:
Anthony Giddens. 1992.
The Transformation of Intimacy: Sexuality, Love and Eroticism in Modern Societies
. Stanford, Calif.: Stanford University Press, p. 119.
175
Are there any secrets
:
Alain de Botton. 1998.
How Proust Can Change Your Life
. New York: Vintage, p. 171.
175
The bonds of wedlock
:
Alexandre Dumas, from
http://www.jimpoz.com/quotes/category.asp?categoryid=42.
177
The Brazilian family therapist Michele Scheinkman
:
Michele Scheinkman. 2005. “Beyond the Trauma of Betrayal: Reconsidering Affairs in Couples Therapy.”
Family Process
, 44, pp. 227–44.
179
Hence the psychologist Erich Fromm makes the point
:
Erich Fromm. 1956.
The Art of Loving
. New York: Harper and Row, p. 43.
179
The feminist psychoanalyst Nancy Chodorow
:
Nancy Chodorow. 1978.
The Reproduction of Mothering: Psychoanalysis and the Sociology of Gender
. Berkeley: University of California Press, p. 194.
188
Adam Phillips writes
:
Adam Phillips. 1996.
Monogamy
. New York: Vintage.
189
Laura Kipnis says
:
Laura Kipnis. 2000.
Against Love: A Polemic
. New York: Pantheon, p. 78.
190
Excessive monitoring can set the stage
:
Stephen A. Mitchell. 2002.
Can Love Last? The Fate of Romance over Time
. New York: Norton, p. 51.
190
The psychologist Janet Reibstein
:
Janet Reibstein and Martin Richards. 1993.
Sexual Arrangements: Marriage and the Temptation of Infidelity
. New York: Scribner, p. 73.
195
Adam Philips makes the point
:
Adam Phillips. 1996.
Monogamy
. New York: Vintage, preface.
196
The anthropologist Katherine Frank wryly notes
:
“Play Couples in Paradise: Touristic Sexuality and Lifestyle Travel.” Unpublished.
200
Love never dies a natural death
:
Anaïs Nin from
http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/anais_nin/
200
It takes courage
:
Ibid.
201
The evolutionary anthropologist Helen Fisher
:
Helen Fisher. “The Drive to Love.” Keynote address at the “Challenging Couples, Challenging Therapists” conference, sponsored by the Milton H. Erikson Foundation, Los Angeles, CA, May 28, 2004.
202
The sex therapist Dagmar O’Connor says
:
Dagmar O’Connor. 1986.
How to Make Love to the Same Person for the Rest of Your Life and Still Love It
. London: Virgin, p. 37.
207
Stephan Mitchell writes
:
Stephen A. Mitchell. 2002.
Can Love Last? The Fate of Romance over Time
. New York: Norton, p. 114.
210
Adam Phillips underscores this point
:
Adam Phillips. 1996.
Monogamy
. New York: Vintage, p. 11.
210
Oscar Wilde wrote
:
Oscar Wilde. 1892.
Lady Windermere’s Fan
, Act III.
211
Gail Godwin wrote
:
Gail Godwin from http://en.thinkexist.com/quotation/the_act_of_longing_for_something_will_always_be/184996.html.
215
The sex therapist Margaret Nichols
:
Margaret Nichols. 1987. “What Feminists Can Learn from the Lesbian Sex Radicals.”
Conditions: Fourteen
, ed. Conditions Collective. New York, pp. 152–63.
217
Octavio Paz likens eroticism
:
Octavio Paz. 1995.
The Double Flame: Love and Eroticism
. San Diego, Calif.: Harvest, p. 2.
217
The great theoretician of play, Johan Huizinga
:
Homo Ludens
. 1971. Boston, Mass.: Beacon Press.
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