Matt (The Cowboys) (30 page)

Even more amazing was the fact that he’d convinced Toby that the best way to impress girls, especially since he was forbidden to stray more than six feet from Matt’s side, was to show them he had a tender, gentle side. Matt had said that most women liked the excitement of a handsome, dangerous rogue, but that they only got serious about men who showed sensitivity. Ellen had been surprised he would say that. She was even more surprised that he’d been able to convince Toby to give it a try.

It didn’t apply to her. She had never told anybody about the kind of man she admired, the only kind she could fall in love with, the only kind she could trust enough to put her life in his keeping, but she wasn’t a foolish young woman who was attracted to strong, dangerous men because they were exciting. She knew the ways of the world and its ability to injure and destroy people. The world was a hard, cruel place, and only such a man could guarantee her protection and safety.

“The children seem a lot happier now that the adoption has been approved,” Isabelle observed.

“Especially Orin. He’s almost like a different child.” Ellen looked for him but didn’t see him with Matt. “Do you know where he is?”

“I think he went off with Ward and his boys.”

Ellen wasn’t entirely reassured. It wasn’t like Orin to go far from Matt, especially when they were in town.

“I hope they don’t swim too far,” she said.

“Ward will take care of him.”

Ellen helped Isabelle stretch out a blanket in the shade, and they sat down, out of the sun but in view of the water. “Now tell me about yourself. Are you feeling more settled?”

“I don’t think I’ll be able to relax completely until the adoption is final and I have the papers in my hands, but I don’t live in constant dread of an approaching wagon or horse.”

“You shouldn’t worry at all. Matt will take care of it.”

“I suppose part of it is habitual. I’ve been looking over my shoulder for so long I can’t stop.”

“Then you need something more to occupy your mind.”

Ellen changed position. “Look, Tess has learned to swim by herself.” She appreciated Isabelle’s concern, but she didn’t like her habit of asking whatever question came to her mind. With Isabelle, no question was too personal.

“If Noah isn’t careful, his sister will be a better swimmer than he is.”

“Please don’t say that,” Ellen said. “It would crush his pride.”

“There’s nothing wrong with a woman being better at something than a man.”

“There is in Texas.”

“That’s nonsense. Drew can shoot circles around any man in this state.”

“You can’t deny they resent it.”

“No, but Cole doesn’t care.”

“Cole is a rare man. Look, Noah’s swimming on his own.” Having finally figured out how to make his feet and hands work together, Noah was showing off, swimming circles around Matt, who shouted encouragement. “Now he’ll want to go swimming every time we come into town.”

“Have Matt dam up the stream that runs through his place.”

“I’d be afraid they’d go in when I wasn’t looking.”

Isabelle sighed. “They’ll do a great deal while you’re not looking. You might as well get used to it.”

“Is being a mother that hard?”

“Yes and no. Nothing is more rewarding than seeing your children grow into adulthood. Sometimes I’m so proud of my boys I could bust, but they drive me crazy with worry. You have to let them go, let them make their own mistakes. Some of the things they do will break your heart, but there’s nothing you can do about it. Matt’s got the best understanding of any of my boys. I hope you’ve changed your mind about him.”

Ellen felt herself tense. She knew what Isabelle was leading up to. “Matt is a wonderful man. I like and respect him very much.”

“But?”

“But I don’t want to be married or have to do what a man tells me to do.”

“Matt would never force you to do anything you disliked.”

“I know. He’s impossibly nice.”

“I hear another but coming.”

“Isabelle, I’m sorry I can’t be what you want. If I had married Matt looking for a home and family, I’d be the luckiest female in Texas.”

“You are.”

“But it’s not what I want.”

Isabelle got to her feet. “Most of us don’t know what we want until we’ve thrown it away. I hope that won’t be true in your case. Now, I think I’d better go help with the food.”

Ellen hated to make Isabelle angry, but she refused to be bullied. She had been thinking more and more about staying at the ranch for a while longer, especially since the night Matt held her in his arms.

She didn’t love him—she’d thought about that too often to have any doubt—but she liked him a lot. And she liked living on the ranch. She wanted her shop and her independence, but she realized they would come with a price. Being the mother of four children wasn’t easy, but she’d never been happier or more content. She had Matt to depend on when things didn’t go right, and even Toby had stopped complaining.

The temptation to stay was great. She’d considered opening her shop in the house, letting the ladies come out to the ranch to make their choices. That wasn’t as good as going to San Antonio, but maybe after she got established she could open a second shop in San Antonio and hire someone to run it part of the time. She could spend three or four days a week at the ranch. She would have time to make a lot more hats at the ranch than if she was living in San Antonio, having to deal with customers and worry about all the responsibilities of a house.

It was impossible to leave the ranch until the adoption became final. If she tried very hard, she might be able to figure out how to keep the best of both worlds. But what about the fact that she didn’t love Matt and he didn’t love her?

Her efforts to find a solution kept being interrupted by bits of conversation from a group of women behind her. Once Ellen stopped trying to block out the sound of their voices, she realized they were talking about Matt. They obviously didn’t realize the woman with her back to them was his wife.

“I never thought he was as bad as people said,” one woman commented. “He’s so handsome, how could he be that bad?”

“It all comes from being so quiet and never speaking up for himself,” a second woman said. “When people don’t know what to think, they come up with something on their own. It’s usually worse than the truth.”

“It’s obvious those poor little bastard children adore him,” the first woman said. “You just have to look at them together to see that.”

“He must be doing something right,” her companion said. “Even bastard children know when people are pretending.”

“He hasn’t done as well with that Toby,” the first woman said.

“He’s being a perfect gentleman today.”

“You can say that because you don’t have a daughter who moons about the house thinking how romantic it would be to be whisked away on horseback some moonlit night.”

“We all had daydreams like that. She’ll forget all about him soon.”

“I don’t know. He’s a mighty handsome boy.”

“Not as handsome as Mr. Haskins.”

“Sarah June, I don’t know what your Frank would say if he heard you talking like that.”

Sarah June giggled. “Frank has nothing to worry about, but that’s all beside the point. It’s good Matt wants to adopt those children. It keeps them from being a charge on the community. I’m glad he’s taken such a shine to that little bastard girl. She needs a father to make sure she doesn’t grow up like her mother.”

“She’s got Ellen.”

“Who also worked in the saloon. You can’t forget the problem with the Lowells, though I promise you I don’t believe everything I hear.”

“Neither Patrick nor Eddie is saying much these days. The gossip is they really did attempt to rape that girl, then blamed it on her to keep Nancy from throwing them out. It’s her money they’re living on.”

“Men will do anything for money.”

“Except remain faithful.”

Ellen stood and moved away. If she’d heard any more, she wouldn’t have been able to remain silent. She was glad some people were beginning to believe her, but she was furious it had taken so long. She was also glad they were beginning to think more kindly of Matt, but she was furious that they kept referring to Tess as “that little bastard girl.” The child had nothing to do with the circumstances of her birth. It would be worth it to move to San Antonio so nobody would know about Tess and Noah.

But as she looked down to the river, at the children playing happily with Matt, she knew they would probably rather remain with Matt and be called bastards than live in San Antonio with a respectable reputation. Which put her right back where she started. No matter what she did, everybody would be unhappy to some degree.

“I saw you flirting with those women,” Ellen said to Matt. “You’re nothing but a hypocrite. You know what they’ve said about you?”

“I don’t know and don’t care,” Matt said. “I’ll keep right on flattering them as long as it will help the adoption go through without a hitch.”

They were on their way home. Noah had gone, to sleep curled up in the buggy seat between them, Tess in Ellen’s lap. Toby and Orin had wanted to stay longer, so Isabelle and Jake had offered to drop them off on their way back.

Ellen didn’t understand why she should be so irritated. Matt hadn’t been flirting. He’d just been talking, though that was practically the same for him as flirting since he hardly ever said anything to anybody. She certainly couldn’t blame those women for hanging on his every word. One smile from him was enough to light up her day. She didn’t see why other women should be any different.

“I thought everything went well today, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Except when Wilbur announced to everyone within a quarter of a mile that you were the handmaiden of Satan—I was particularly enchanted by his referring to you as a maiden—who would usher the souls of those helpless children into hell if the townspeople didn’t tear them from your embrace.”

“His habit of overstating everything undermines his credibility. And people’s patience. If he’s not careful, the town may be as quick to turn its back on him as it was to welcome him.”

“I didn’t see any signs of it.”

“People don’t mind having an occasional catharsis about their sins, but they don’t want them shoved in their faces week after week. They want a chance to commit a few more before they start repenting again.”

“Sounds mighty cynical.”

“Just human nature.”

“Is understanding human nature what makes you so good with the kids?”

“That may be part of it, but it’s mostly that I know what they’re feeling because I felt it myself.”

“But that doesn’t explain Tess.”

“Tess just wants somebody to love her and make her feel safe.”

So do I.

Ellen pushed that thought aside.

“Looks like we’ve got company,” Matt said.

Ellen was tired. She had children to feed and put to bed before she could go to bed herself. She wasn’t in the mood to entertain company.

“I don’t recognize the horse,” Matt said.

Only Matt and Drew, so far as Ellen knew, identified people by the horses they rode.

As Matt brought the buggy to a halt, a young boy came from around the side of the house. “I’m Hank,” he said, his gaze focused on Matt. “I want you to adopt me, too.”

Chapter Eighteen

The boy looked a year or two older than Orin. He had big black eyes, fair skin, and a face almost girlish in its prettiness. His nearly black hair hadn’t been cut in months and his clothes fit him badly. His body was tall and thin, probably the result of a recent growth spurt. Ellen was certain he would grow to an impressive size, but right now he looked tired, hungry, and frightened out of his mind.

“What made you come to me?” Matt asked as calmly as if this happened to him every day.

“I heard you took in orphaned kids.”

“Who told you?”

“People. They said you adopted Toby.”

“I didn’t adopt him. He works for me.”

“I’ll work for you. Just let me stay here.”

“You can’t do that,” Ellen whispered to Matt. “His parents are probably frantic, wondering where he is.”

“Do you have parents?” Matt asked.

“No.”

“What happened?”

“Sickness got ’em.”

“We ought to take him to the sheriff,” Ellen said. “It’s his job to find the boy’s relatives and notify them to come get him.”

“Who’s been taking care of you?”

“Uncle Wayne.”

“Why him?”

“He had a ranch nearby my folks. He said I could stay with him until he could take me into town.”

“But he didn’t take you into town, did he?”

Ellen didn’t understand why Matt was asking all these questions. He didn’t have to know anything to turn the boy over to the sheriff. She supposed, since it was so late in the day, they had to keep him for the night, but the change in Matt made her nervous. He had masked his face, but Ellen could see he was so angry he was shaking.