Matter of Choice (9 page)

Chapter Twelve

Shannon knocked on room 205, her heart fluttering in heaving gasps at the sound of deadened footsteps behind the wood. A hand floated up and rested on top of her breasts, hoping to quiet the rumbling within. She wasn’t sure what she was doing. She knew what she didn’t want, that was easy. But what
did
she want? She didn’t have time to process before Triston answered the door in ragged shorts and a tank undershirt proudly displaying curved biceps and defined chest.

The blank sheet of the unknown brightened into a thick smile as he opened the door to see her standing before him. “I wasn’t expecting this.” His brows furrowed. “Are you okay?”

Shannon struggled to keep focus off his arms and on his face as she nodded. Rich chartreuse irises captured her, muscles forgotten, and she stumbled over the words. “I, I wasn’t expecting this either. I don’t really know if I’m okay or not.” She looked down at the patterned carpeting, struggling to regain her focus. “I didn’t really want to be alone, and didn’t have anywhere else to go. I hope you don’t mind.”

So much for not coming off like a lovesick teenager.

If he noticed her nerves, he was good enough not to react. “Why would I mind?” he stepped aside, motioning to the room behind him. “Come in.”

She stood in the doorway for a moment, eyes straying again across the fitness of his body, and shook her head. “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Do you mind if we just go for a walk outside?”

He studied her for a moment and blinked slowly, and Shannon wondered what he was thinking.

“Of course I don’t. Just give me a minute.”

She nodded, and backed away from the door as he closed it. Pacing up and down the hall, she paused at a side table to smell the fresh Peruvian lilies set on top. She didn’t remember him looking like that in high school, but that was then, as kids. He had taken care of himself. She shook her head as she muttered, “Stop it Shannon. Stop thinking of him like that. And calm your nerves. No reason for them. There are no expectations, no plans. Just relax.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

She spun around, wondering if he heard the foolish rant. No traces of amusement settled around his mouth, and her body sighed with relief. “You didn’t. I’m sorry to bother you. Just wasn’t sure …”

He stopped her, brushing strands of hair away from her cheek. “You never have to apologize to me for anything.” Triston smiled. “You lead the way.”

“I was thinking about heading to the shores. There’s a nice little path cut through some trees on the west side of the property leading across the front lawn and drive to the rocks above the river. It’s quiet there, we won’t be disturbed.”

“Or be seen.” Triston laughed. “That sounds nice. I’d love to see it.”

Shannon smiled ruefully. “Thanks for understanding.”

“Shy, it doesn’t matter to me where we go. I’m just happy to spend time with you again.”

She looked back at him. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.”

He leaned forward, causing her heart to stampede behind her breasts, and whispered into her shoulder, “I’m not going to stop saying things like that.”

Shannon held her breath as he backed away with a satisfied grin. “Shall we go?”

She nodded, unable to speak. He was sure to have sensed the sparks nipping at her senses and clouding thoughts. She quickened her pace, hoping distance between them, even mere steps, would return her to
the realm of rational thought.

They walked in silence as Shannon led him past the elevator towards the employee only stairwell which flanked the back of the hotel. The beauty and grandeur of the Grande was left behind, the poured concrete and metal shaft industrialized for practicality and emergencies. No one used the stairwell, the chances of running into anyone almost nonexistent. Now it was her sneaking around, she thought sourly with the first step, heels clicking against the metal. She swallowed against doubt. The afternoon
graduated past violated vows.

The thumping of Triston’s heavier steps eased beside her, and he reached out and took her hand. She looked up at him, ready to pull away, but the grip only constricted. “No one sees us, Shy, and on these steps, in those shoes,” he nodded down at the two inch stilts she walked in, “you’d fall much too easily. I’ll let go before we step back into public.”

As if in confirmation, a heel turned on one of the metal grooves and she stumbled forward, stopped only by a hand pulling her up short, his body jutting forward.

Cheeks reddened as she righted herself, breath quickened. Their faces inches apart, bodies pressed together. A desert sprung, dry and parched, within her mouth and every nerve tingled against
the biceps as he steadied her.

Pressing her palms against his chest, eyes focused on his mouth. A slow smile tickled her lips. “Thank you.”

*

Outside, they walked shoulder to shoulder, Triston’s hands tucked in his pockets as Shannon’s gaze remained locked ahead. They followed the trail into the cluster of trees, and the path, well-defined by mulch and solar lights, twisted away from the hotel to the lake. The early spring greens were bright and engulfing, contrasted against the pale blue of a cloudless sky and browns of standing and fallen wood.

When she spoke, Shannon’s voice sounded small against the timber of maples and conifers. “I’m sorry to bother you. I have no right to expect anything, I know, its just, I have no one left to confide in.”

Triston cocked his head in her direction. “How many times do I have to tell you, you are no
t bothering me. What happened?”

“I fired Lauren just a bit ago. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. She apologized, was crying, and I …” She looked to the sky as it peaked through the tops of the trees. “Oh, Triston. I never even heard her. The way I talked to her, the things I said. I’ve never been that hard on anyone, not in my entire life.” She stopped and hung her head. “How could I have not seen it? I’ve known about so many of his indiscretions. How couldn’t I have known?” She shook her head. “This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t be talking to you about any of this. We haven’t been close
anything
in years. What am I thinking?”

Triston stepped in front of her and dropped his head to the side, eyes firm while his broad hands wrapped around her shoulders. “First of all, I told you, you never have to apologize to me. Certainly not for wanting to talk to me. Us spending time together, I never thought I’d another chance to do that with you. Second, you’re not the idiot. Greg is. How the man could not look at you and want you is completely beyond me.”

“Triston.”

“No, wait. Listen. I don’t care what condition he’s in. How could he not see you, Shannon? How could he not see how beautiful you are? There is no excuse. And that ‘friend’ of yours – that’s a joke.” He squeezed her shoulders and smiled. “No wonder you came looking for me.”

Shannon laughed in spite of herself. “You came looking for me, remember? Wait. Did you? Did you come here looking for me?”

He smiled, but didn’t answer.

Shannon shook her head. “You’re unbelievable.”

They started walking agai
n, footsteps in perfect unison.

“So what are you going to do now?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. Firing Lauren was the first step.”

He laughed. “I bet it felt good.”

She nodded with a smile. “Small triumph. But now,” her voice broke, “I just don’t know.”

“You have options.”

She pursed her lips together into a tight smile. “Right. Options. Like breaking my wedding vows. And getting back together with you when all it takes to turn your head is a smile and a flash of leg.”

“That’s not fair, Shy.”

She shrugged. “Maybe not. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” She bumped a shoulder against his. “But, the truth is, I really don’t know. The vows say for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse.”

“Sounds like you’ve gotten the short end of the stick on everything but the richer, poorer part.”

“I guess so. Still, that’s the promise I made. How do I break it now?”

“Easy. You go home, pack a few things, and tell him you’re leaving. He’d never know the difference an
yway, he’s so utterly idiotic.”

The trees broke open, revealing an outlook perched on an outcropping of rocks to overlook the tranquil water below. They stood for moment as a freighter passed by, and Triston faced Shannon, scanning the area before clasping her hands. “You leave him, and then you come with me. I can’t promise much, nothing like this, but I can promise you I’ll never hurt you again. I’ll never take you for granted. I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life proving to you just how wonderful I know you are.”

She smiled, heart quivering at words she’d, for so long, wanted to hear Greg say. “Now how could any red blooded woman pass all that up?”

“Exactly.”

She smiled and turned to the river, heaviness hard against her chest. Triston’s stood behind her and wrapped her waist in a gentle embrace. Shannon’s head leaned against his chest while his chin nestled in her hair. With eyes closed, she listened to his heartbeat, the sounds of spring birds chirping in the distance, the breeze as it passed through the branches and tussled the leaves. In the distance, a horn from a barge signaled its passage while the aroma from
The Schooner
’s kitchen wafted through the delicate spring air in an inviting mixture. For a moment, she could feel the simplicity of it all, and how easy it could be for life to be different.

She pulled out of his arms. “We can’t do that, Triston.”

“We’re not
doing
anything.” He took her hand, gently turning her to face him. “There’s lots of things we could do. I could kiss you right now, and no one would know or care.” He angled his head down, lips a breath from hers. “You’re a good woman, Shy. Too good to be with Greg, or even with me. When are you going to see that?”

Her eyes dropped to the mulch at their feet, shaking her head, unable to find her voice. If only she could be so sure.

Chapter Thirteen

The ride home was longer than any Shannon remembered. The traffic was clear, the weather good, the commute should have been a smooth one. But as she ambled towards the address on Whitmore Lane, she didn’t see the familiar landscaping, the gas station where she filled the tank of the Escapade, or the grocery store stocked with items you couldn’t find at Walmart. With fingers drumming a rhythm against the steering wheel, her thoughts consumed her. She couldn’t imagine what to do once she arrived. Talk to Greg? Scream at him? Ignore him and what he had done, like so many times in the past? She grimaced. How much longer could she really do that?

She leaned forward and clicked on the radio with her music of choice. A little easy listening should quiet the nerves. But as one
of Greg’s favorite songs traveled across the airwaves, she clicked the song off and pushed fingers through her hair. Forget the music. With both hands on the steering wheel, she breathed in and out, stretched her neck side to side and rolled her shoulders.

“There. That feels better.” A car raced past, and she considered the speedometer. Ten miles slower than the speed limit. She rolled her eyes and pushed a foot harder against the pedal. Glancing in the rear
view mirror, she saw the following row of cars ease off and her mind chastised her.
Focus, just focus.

As if in retaliation, the trail of thoughts shifted to Triston and suggestions made earlier. Spending time listening to him, him listening to her, nearly
everything she’d been craving.

That, and the absence of infidelity
.

But not from jus
t anyone, from her own husband.

She closed her eyes as the SUV slowed at a stoplight. After the scene in Lauren’s office, she doubted Greg would ever give her those things. If he ever did come back, would she be able to wash the scene from her mem
ory files? She didn’t think so.

The cars honked as the red turned green. She turned left onto scenic Whitmore Lane with its brooding oak trees, wrought iron fences, cobblestone driveways and pretty mailboxes decorated with ivy and azaleas. With homes averaging half a million or better, Whitmore was pictures
que upper middle class majesty.

She glanced out the window to a father darting across his front yard, young daughter in chase. Even through the glass she could imagine the laughter, the beaming smiles lighting their faces spoke volumes. She tried to smile at their joy but failed, selfishness seeping from the darkest corners of her heart. Her focus returned to the road, which led to one of the largest homes on the block, the stark realization of the dreams traded when her life was promised to Greg mat
erializing as glaring phantoms.

Shannon dismissed the specters. I
t was a choice she made freely.

Now she wondered if Triston was right. Maybe the only answer was to leave. It wasn’t like she hadn’t given him every possible opportunity. Nights of candlelit dinners and inviting lingerie always ended up with a trashcan of wasted food, satin and lace traded for a t-shirt and sweatpants when he didn’t show up or retreated to the bedroom never noticing her efforts. Some time ago, she stopped begging, and he hadn’t asked since long before that.

Loneliness was her companion, and Shannon shook her head as she slowed near the driveway. She could live with that, but she couldn’t handle the cheating anymore.

She wiped away a few stray tears and turned into the long driveway leading to the French chateau-inspired house she called home for the last ten years. Eight bedrooms, seven baths, seventy-five hundred square feet. The kind of house most people in America dreamed to one day own, but never would. The kind of house most people envied. But while everyone else thought it was the Cinderella castle of their dreams, it wasn’t a home to Shannon any longer. Just a place to crash. To pretend what was going on behind the gray and white brick exterior and closed interior doors wasn’t happening, and her heart wasn’t breaking every time she drove up the driveway, or stepped into the foyer with the double winding stairc
ase. It was a façade she hated.

As her heels stepped onto the concrete
drive, her mind seemed made up.

It was time to let it all go.

*

Triston stooped at the place where he stood with Shannon earlier that day, thoughts turning as he tapped a branch against the dirt. It surprised him, at the time, when he offered to take Shannon back to Wisconsin and start a future. The words came out before he even had the opportunity to consider what they meant. He wasn’t even sure how he felt about the idea. They still had so muc
h to relearn about one another.

Standing, he pushed past the growth to stand at the edge of the river, the water rolling feet away. He could see why Shannon loved the valley so much, and why she loved the river.
The landscape was intoxicating.

With a deep breath of fresh air, he clasped both hands around his head, mind racing. People grow and change. But it was hard not see the Shy he loved before within the woman he stood looking at the river a couple of hours earlier. Hopeful, loving, devoted, all the things he loved in high school were still there. They still could talk, he’d bet his left leg they could laugh, and the rest … he grinned. Triston was sure the rest would be amazing. Being friends, lovers, companions. He could see all those pieces coming together with Shannon, even though he’d neve
r seen it with anyone else.

He turned to walk the path to the hotel, then broke into a jog. The burning muscles and heavy breathing invigorated him, the surrounding forest humming in unison to the pounding footsteps. He hadn’t gone on a run since he’d arrived, and the path was the perfect place, breathing more l
ife into his circling thoughts.

He slowed as the path twisted towards the front lawn of the hotel to make the steep climb uphill to the hotel, jeans and shirt sticking to his body as muscles bulged with enthusiasm. Resting his palms against bent knees, a thought locked in place. He needed a good old-fashioned date with Shannon. Give her a break, give him a chance to know for sure, give her a chance to see him again. He sniffed and wiped the sweat from his brow, scanning the people coming and going in their Maseratis, Lamborghinis, and Porsches. Lots of money, and a lifestyle he couldn’t compete with. But he wasn’t broke, and he’d give Shannon a whole lot more than any of these moneybags could offer h
er, because he loved her.

A breath choked in his throat, and he coughed. Loved her? The thought had trailed along so naturally, as easy as swallowing or blinking. Co
uld he really love her already?

Then it occurred t
o him, he never really stopped.