Matthew's Choice (21 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY

S
UNDAY
MORNING
, A
LLIE
rode the elevator up to ICU. About midnight last night, her mom had finally talked her into going home to sleep. As usual, Mom was right. Sleeping in her own bed made a world of difference. Now if only Matt would wake up. But at least he was stable. Mariah sat in their usual corner, and she waved. Mariah had returned to rehab on the condition that she would be allowed to visit Matt.

Her face lit up as Allie approached. “I talked to Noah. He’s having a ball at the farm.”

“Mom and Dad love having him.” She sat in the chair opposite Mariah. Other families drifted in as visiting time neared. She’d connected with several of them and now asked if there’d been any improvement in their loved ones. One was being moved out on the floor, but the others were unchanged. How well she knew their feelings. To go in time after time yesterday and see Matt so still and pale broke her heart. Maybe today...

The doors to the unit opened. “Why don’t you go back first? Then I’ll go,” she suggested. She wanted to give Mariah time alone with her brother.

“Thanks.” She started to say more, but instead rose and hurried toward the doors.

While Allie waited, she checked Matt’s cell phone to see if somehow Jessica had returned her call and she’d missed it. No, and neither had J. Phillip Bradford. In less than ten minutes Mariah returned, her eyes wet.

Allie’s heart leaped into her throat. “Is he all right?”

Mariah lifted her shoulders in a defeated shrug. “Just like yesterday. Is he ever going to wake up?”

“Did you ask his nurse?”

She shook her head.

“When I go back, I’ll ask and let you know. Okay?” Allie worried Mariah might lose what progress she’d made toward recovery.

She stopped at the nurses’ station just outside Matt’s door. “Any change, Traci?” She knew the nurses on each shift by name.

Traci’s smile was encouraging. “We’re weaning him off the ventilator, and his vitals are holding good. The doctor said something about waking him up.”

Best news she’d heard all weekend. She thanked Traci and stepped inside the cubicle. Her excitement faded at the sight of Matt’s still form. No wonder Mariah seemed depressed. Even though Allie knew the doctors had induced a coma to let his body rest, would he ever come out of it?

Allie slid a hand in her pocket where she carried his grandmother’s ring. For some reason, touching the velvet box calmed her, gave her encouragement. She sat in the chair beside the bed and took his hand. Traci had said to talk to him, that perhaps he could hear her. “Good morning, Matt. It’s a beautiful day outside.”

No response other than the occasional whoosh of the ventilator.

“They said you might wake up today.” Her voice broke, and she rubbed her throat, trying to relax the tight muscles. When she thought her voice wouldn’t betray her, she began again. “Noah said to tell you hi. And that he’s riding Bridger every day.

“Matt, if you’ll just get better, I’ll leave Cedar Grove with you. If you still want me to.” The words slipped past her lips. She hadn’t meant to say them, but now that she had, a weight lifted from her heart. “I was wrong to let you go without a fight. I’m sorry.”

Was that a flicker of his eyelid? Allie moved closer, but the only thing that moved was his chest as he breathed in and out. Three soft chimes sounded throughout the unit, signaling an end to visiting time. She stood and stroked his cheek. He needed a shave. She leaned over and whispered in his ear the same thing she said each time. “I love you, Matthew Jefferies. Please come back to me and give us a second chance.”

* * *

E
XCRUCIATING
PAIN
WOKE
M
ATT
. Pain in his chest. Pain in his head. Pain just to breathe. He moaned, and a nurse moved instantly to his side. He gripped her wrist. “Hurting. I need...” Her image blurred.

“Mr. Jefferies, my name is Traci, and I’m your nurse. Do you know where you are?”

He blinked, and Traci’s features sharpened. Intense blue eyes behind black-rimmed glasses appraised him. He focused on the stethoscope hanging around her neck. “Hospital.” But why was he in the hospital? And why did he hurt so much?

“Good. Can you tell me your name?”

Was she crazy? She’d just called him by his name. Burning pain shot through his chest again. “Please. I’m hurting.”

Her brows almost touched in a frown. “Your name.”

He licked his dry lips. “Matthew Jefferies.”

The frown disappeared, and she inserted a needle into his IV. “I’m sorry, but I have protocols I have to follow. This will help.” She patted his arm as she slipped the stethoscope from around her neck and put the buds in her ears. “At least you’re off the ventilator and breathing on your own.”

Ventilator? Explained why his throat hurt so bad. As the burning eased to a dull throbbing, more questions crowded his mind. “How long have I been here?” Was that him? “And why do I sound like a frog?”

Traci pulled the buds away from her ears. “The ventilator. And you’ve been here almost two days. Do you remember anything that happened?”

He shook his head, and pain rocked it. He wouldn’t do that again. “What day is it?”

“Sunday. And it’s afternoon. Now, let me listen to your chest, and then we’ll talk.”

Matt lay still while Traci moved the chestpiece over his body, breathing when she instructed. “Why does it hurt when I breathe?” he croaked when she finished.

She folded the stethoscope and slipped it in her pocket. “You had a collapsed lung, among other things, but that’s improving.”

He lifted his right hand to touch his chest.

“I wouldn’t do that. You have a tube in your left side—just above where you were shot.”

Shot?
A fuzzy image surfaced in his memory. A man. A gun. Matt gripped the nurse’s wrist again. “Allie. Is she...”

“Your friend?” Traci smiled. “She’s fine. Would you like to see her?”

* * *

A
LLIE
HURRIED
THROUGH
the ICU corridor. The receptionist hadn’t said why Matt’s nurse wanted her, and her mind created a thousand things that could be wrong. She hesitated outside Matt’s cubicle. What if... She rubbed the velvet box in her pocket for reassurance as Traci walked past with an IV bag in her hand. “You can go in.” Allie must have given her a look of panic because the nurse smiled. “I promise, he looks much better.”

Gathering her courage, Allie stepped around the opening. Matt lay with his eyes closed, his lashes dark against his pale skin. A gown covered his chest, hiding the bandage. The ventilator was gone, replaced by a nasal cannula. She released the breath she’d been holding. The nurse was right—he looked better. He wasn’t going to die.

His eyes opened, and for a minute, he stared at her. “You’re beautiful.”

The raspy words spoken barely above a whisper sent her heart into orbit. She took a shuddering breath. “Oh, Matt...”

She flew to the bedside and leaned over, brushing his lips with her own. Alarms buzzed over his head, and she jerked back.

Traci chuckled and pressed a button. “Nothing to worry about unless his heart rate keeps climbing. Then I’ll have to ask you to leave.” The nurse peered over her glasses at them. “I’ll be outside the room if you need me.”

“Slow your heart rate down,” Allie ordered as she sat in the chair. “I want to stay.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Matt gave her a lazy smile and took her hand again. “What happened? I’m not too clear on how I got here.”

She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. “You saved my life when Nichols fired that gun.” She closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. When she blinked them open, Matt had slipped into a deep sleep. She’d worn him out. Slowly she rose and walked out of the room. “He’s asleep again,” she said to Traci.

“It’ll probably be like that off and on all day. I think he’s being moved out on the floor tomorrow.”

“You think he’s well enough for that?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s strong, his lung has re-inflated, and it may not look like it now, but he’s on the mend.”

Her heart lifted at Traci’s words.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

E
ARLY
M
ONDAY
MORNING
after Allie called the school and arranged to take a personal day, she hopped into the shower. Just as Traci had predicted, Matt was being moved out on the floor. No more short visits. Each time she had seen him Sunday after he’d woken she’d found Matt a little stronger, a little more alert. But the visits had been shared with either Traci or Mariah. She wanted a little private time with him.

As she dressed, an alert sounded on Matt’s cell phone. She hadn’t heard the phone ring, but it showed he had a missed call and a voice mail from J. Phillip Bradford requesting that Matt or someone call him back. About time. She hit the call-back button, and he answered on the first ring.

“Bradford. Is this Matt?”

“No, this is Allie Carson. Matt’s in ICU.”

A full five seconds passed in silence. “Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“He was shot Friday afternoon.”

“Sh-shot? Why?”

“It’s a long story better told in person. Why didn’t you call back Friday after I left you the message that he’d been injured?” Bradford wasn’t the only one who got to ask questions. “Or yesterday,” she added.

“I didn’t listen to your messages until today.” An exasperated sigh sounded over the phone. “Confound it, girl, what happened and what’s his prognosis?”

“There was a shooting here in Cedar Grove. Matt was one of the victims. He’s recovering from a gunshot wound and a collapsed lung. It was on the news.”

“Not in Memphis.”

Allie didn’t try to fill the silence between them.

He drew in a breath and released it. “Is he...how is he?”

“His condition has been upgraded to good, and he’s being moved to a room.”

“Thank you, Miss Carson.”

The dismissal in his voice angered her. “Wait! Aren’t you coming to see him?”

When he didn’t answer she held the cell phone out to see if he was still there. He’d disconnected.

* * *

A
T
ELEVEN
O
’
CLOCK
, Allie stepped off the elevator onto the fourth floor of the hospital. Traci had called and let her know Matt was in his room, and doing well. She touched the ring box in her pocket. The velvet box had become her security blanket, giving comfort when she touched it. It would be hard to give it up, but it belonged to Matt, not her.

She hesitated outside room 435, then swallowed the anxiety that crawled into her throat and pushed the door open.

Matt sat propped up in bed. “I wondered where you were. Mariah’s already been here and gone back to rehab.”

“You must be better. You’re grouchy.”

“And you’re beautiful.”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she blinked them back. She managed a smile for him. “How do
you feel?”

“Like I could run a race if it was a half inch long.”

It was good to hear his voice almost back to normal. She leaned over the bed to kiss his forehead, and he shook his head.

“Before I woke up, I had dreams that you were kissing me...and not on my head.” His hands framed her face. “You were kissing me like this.”

His lips captured hers, and she lost herself in the kiss.

“I love you.” He murmured the words against her lips.

She pulled away from him. “I love you, too, and I’m sorry....”

Alarm flashed in his eyes. “Sorry? About what?”

“That I didn’t go with you all those years ago when you asked me, but I was so angry with you.”

“No, you were right. I thought I had to be someone different if I wanted to succeed. I turned my back on you, Mariah, my friends. I forgot about loyalty and kindness, all for greed.” His voice cracked.

She waited, wanting to make it easier. Anything to ease the anguish in his eyes.

He took a breath. “I couldn’t see you standing in front of me, loving me the way I was. If you had gone with me, I would have destroyed your love. Like I destroyed Jessica’s.”

She held the jewelry box out to him. “Is that why this was in your pocket?”

He took the box. “I loved her, but not the way she deserved to be loved. I couldn’t. Not when I’ve always loved you. And she saw that and gave the ring back to me.” He lifted his gaze, his blue eyes holding hers. “I grew up on Beaker Street, and I’ve learned it’s nothing to be ashamed of. I want to ask you to marry me, but...”

Her heart almost stopped. Marry him? “But?”

“I don’t have a job.”

She gaped at him. “I don’t understand.”

“I don’t expect Winthrop will hire me again given everything that’s happened, and I quit the Bradford Foundation. By the way, he’s my grandfather.”

She nodded. “The marriage certificate. Your mom’s name was Bradford.”

“I won’t work for a man like him....” Matt’s gaze slid past her.

She turned. J. Phillip Bradford, dressed in a black overcoat and as tall as Matt, stood just inside the room.

“I hope I can change your mind about that, Matthew.” He came forward and faced her. “You must be Miss Carson.”

Ms.,
she wanted to say. Instead she accepted the offered hand. “And you must be Matt’s grandfather.”

His gray eyes studied her. “Yes.” He stepped closer to the bed and shifted his gaze to Matt. “Can we talk? Privately?”

“Anything you want to say, you can say in front of Allie. We’re going to be married, if she will have me.” He opened the velvet box.

“Rachel’s rings?” Bradford crossed the room and took the box from Matt’s hands. Reverently, he stared at the ring inside. Then he looked first at her then at Matt. “Where did you get these? Where’s the wedding band?”

“It’s in my safe. And the rings came from my mother, actually my Grandmother Rae.” Understanding crossed Matt’s face. “Rachel.”

Bradford pressed his lips together, but not before Allie noticed them tremble. He turned to her. “Please. Could we have a few minutes in private?”

* * *

T
HE
DOOR
CLOSED
behind Allie, and Matt wanted to call her back.

Bradford shut the box and cupped it in his hand. “May I sit down?”

Matt nodded. His grandfather took off his coat and sat in the chair nearest the bed. “I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, but I didn’t know about the shooting. After you left Friday...” He folded his arms across his chest. “Anyway, when I saw you had called, I was too angry to talk. I didn’t listen to the messages until this morning.”

Bradford stood and walked to the window that overlooked the parking lot. “Matt, I’ve made so many mistakes. First with Susan, and now with you and Mariah. I asked for your mother’s forgiveness years ago, and she gave it.” He licked his lips. “Now I’d like to ask for yours...and Mariah’s.”

Matt wanted to block out his grandfather’s voice. He didn’t want to forgive him. “My mom might be alive—”

His grandfather walked back to the foot of the bed. “I can’t change the past, Matthew. But I want to repeat what I said Friday. I offered to get her help. She said it was too late, that the cancer had spread. I’ll live the rest of my life knowing I possibly could’ve made a difference with her cancer if I’d tried just a little harder. But at least we made our peace—albeit at a price. I had to promise not to intrude in your life or Mariah’s. I kept my promise until you came to me, wanting the contract for the Winthrop Corporation. If you didn’t realize I was your grandfather, I didn’t see it as breaking my promise.”

Matt’s throat tightened, and he tried to swallow the lump choking him. Forgiveness was a choice. He could be like his mom had been for so long and hold on to his anger. Refusing to forgive him would hurt his grandfather, maybe even destroy him. But Bradford wouldn’t be the only one destroyed. It would eat at Matt just like it had his mother. “What if we start out by getting to know each other first?”

His grandfather drew in a deep breath and released it. “I can handle that.” He wrapped his hand around Matt’s. “Now I have to go find your sister.”

Matt wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his free hand. “She’s in the rehab building behind the hospital. I’m sure you’ll know how to get past the rules and regulations about visitors.”

The older man smiled at him. “Probably so.” He grabbed his coat. “I hope you’ll reconsider the job at the foundation. You’re perfect for it, and you can make a difference in the war against cancer.”

“I’ll talk with Allie about it.”

His grandfather looked down at the box he still held. “I believe this belongs to you...or maybe Miss Carson?”

“Hopefully, the future Mrs. Jefferies.” Matt clasped the box to his chest. “Would you tell her we’re finished talking...for now?”

“I will.”

The door closed and Matt sank into the bed. His shoulder burned, and his body ached, and he probably needed sleep. But he wasn’t about to give in to it. Not until Allie said yes, and he placed the ring on her finger. He smiled as she slipped into the room. “He asked me to forgive him.”

She returned his smile. “Did you?”

“We’ll see. He wants me to come back to work for him at the foundation. If I do, would you consider moving to Memphis? Not in the city, but maybe out in the country?”

“I’ll move wherever you are.”

“Help me up,” he said.

“Should you get out of bed? You’ve had a tiring morning.”

“Yes. But a man can’t propose flat on his back.”

He made it as far as the side of the bed. “This’ll have to do. Sit here, beside me.”

She eased onto the bed, and he took her hand and slipped the engagement ring on her finger. He looked into her eyes and saw his past, his present and his future. “Allie Carson, will you marry me?”

She pressed her lips together as tears spilled onto her cheeks. “Yes, Matthew Jefferies, I will.”

Six months later...

M
ATT
STARED
IN
the mirror at his crooked bow tie. Where was Allie when he needed her?

In the bride’s room getting dressed, of course. He yanked the end of the tie, then turned when someone knocked at his door. “Come in.”

Clint entered and grinned. “Allie sent me to help you with that.” He pointed to the tie dangling in Matt’s hands.

“Thanks.” He handed Clint the tie, then stood still while his friend expertly knotted it. “I don’t know why I can’t learn how to tie those confounded things.”

Clint laughed. “Not nervous, are you?”

Matt wiped his damp hands on his pants leg. “Probably no more than any other groom on his wedding day. Is Noah dressed?”

“The ring bearer is dressed and waiting at the back of the church with your granddad.”

Granddad. Over the past six months, their relationship had grown into more than Matt had ever expected. Partly because J. Phillip Bradford had changed, mellowed even, and was not so work-driven. Everyone said it was because of Matt, but personally Matt believed it was Noah. The kid had a way of getting next to a person.

The first chord of the processional began.

“I think that’s our cue,” Clint said.

Matt nodded and followed his best man through the doorway and joined the pastor at the front of the church. Finally. The day he’d waited for since asking Allie to marry him. The nervousness he’d felt earlier faded as Allie’s mom was escorted down the aisle. How he wished his own mother were here.

Soon the music flowed into a light minuet, and Noah walked toward him, carefully carrying the white pillow. Mariah was next as matron of honor, and Matt’s chest swelled. He was so proud of his sister. Clean and sober since January, taking college courses, but most of all, being the mother Noah needed. Their grandfather had offered Mariah a part-time job, and they were thinking about moving to Memphis, close to where Matt and Allie had bought a house.

Then the unmistakable start of the bridal chorus began. Matt’s heart thumped against his chest as Allie appeared in the doorway on the arm of her father, beautiful in her white A-line dress.

Men weren’t supposed to cry, but tears stung his eyes as Allie’s gaze sought his. He stood a little straighter as she walked toward him and took her hand from her father.

He couldn’t stop beaming at Allie. Her eyes glistened as the pastor began.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here...”

As he talked, Matt rehearsed the words he’d written for their ceremony...then he began. “Allie, you are the most generous, loving and unselfish person I know. I don’t deserve you, but I’m so thankful you’ve chosen to spend your life with me, and that we will grow old together. I, Matthew Jefferies, do take you, Allie Carson, to be my lawful wedded wife. I promise to love and honor you, to care for you, to be faithful to you from this day forward for the rest of our lives.”

Tears rimmed Allie’s eyes. She blinked them back and smiled. “Matthew, you are my heart, my one true love. I vow to love you in sickness and in health, in good times and bad times, to respect your successes and your failures. I will cherish our marriage, and I want to grow old with you. I give you my hand, my heart and my love from this day forward as long as we both shall live.”

The minister smiled his approval, and then asked, “What token of love do you offer?”

Noah stepped forward and the rings were handed to him. “The wedding ring symbolizes the unending love you vow.” He handed Matt the wedding ring that had belonged to his grandmother. With a steady hand, Matt slid the ring on Allie’s finger.

“With this ring, I pledge my love for now and all eternity.”

Allie took the ring for him and slid it on his finger. “I give you this ring as a token of my love now and always.”

The pastor looked up. “May you always keep the vows you have made today. Treat one another with love and honor and faithfulness.

“And so, by the power vested in me by the State of Mississippi, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

Matt leaned over. “I love you,” he said and gently pressed his lips against Allie’s.

He hooked his arm in hers, and they walked up the aisle, stopping to hug her mom, and nodding to others.

The doors to the church opened, and together they ran down the steps amid the ringing of bells.