Maureen McKade (19 page)

Jake peered up at her solicitous expression.

With a nervous gesture, she swept back a strand of hair. “How’re you feeling?” she asked.

“Like hell,” he replied in a raspy voice.

Her laughter washed across him like a gentle rain.
“You can’t be too bad. You’re sounding like your old self.”

“Did you and Johnny sleep in the rocker?”

Her smile faded as a trace of sadness haunted her expression. “How did you know?”

“I woke up earlier and saw you. I thought I might’ve been dreaming.”

Her cheeks pinkened. “Johnny was worried about you.”

“I’m sorry he had to see me like this.”

“Why? You didn’t ask to be shot.” Anger threaded through her words.

Surprised by her defensive tone, Jake said, “No, but at his age he shouldn’t have to see what men are capable of doing to each other.”

“For a selfish bastard, you’re awfully concerned about Johnny,” Kit commented with a wry smile.

“Even us selfish bastards have our weak moments.” His memory clicked into motion, and he remembered the gunshots, Zeus’s stumble and scream … “Zeus—where is he?”

“He wasn’t with you. Could he have run off?”

Jake grasped her forearm. “No, he would’ve stayed with me. You have to find him!”

Kit laid her hand on his. “I’ll send Ethan out looking for him. He’ll find him.”

“Hurry. I think he was hurt.”

She nodded and slipped out of the room.

Jake closed his eyes against the pain thudding in his temple. Zeus had been with him for over six years; Jake couldn’t have asked for a more loyal horse. He’d spent hours in the saddle trailing outlaws with only Zeus as his companion, and Jake had taken to conversing with him out of sheer boredom. Though Zeus couldn’t understand the words, often he seemed to understand his tone.

What if Zeus had been killed by the ambusher? Anger roiled in Jake, and he tried to sit up. The room rolled and pitched and turned his stomach inside out. He fell back against the pillows with a groan.

Johnny entered the room with a tentative step. “Can I come in, Mr. Cordell?”

Jake fought the lingering nausea. “Sure.”

The boy hurried to his side, laying a light hand on Jake’s bare shoulder. “Are you better now?”

Jake focused his gaze on Johnny’s worried face. “Don’t you be worrying about me, kid, I’ll be just fine.”

Johnny heaved a sigh. “I’m glad. Ma said you’d be all right, but I wasn’t sure. You looked pretty sick.”

“You listen to your ma,” Jake said. “She’s a smart woman. The smartest I ever met, but don’t you tell her I said that. It’ll be our secret.”

A conspiratorial smile lit Johnny’s face. “Cross my heart.” His grin vanished: “Do you know where Ma went?”

Jake nodded. “She was going to ask Ethan to look for Zeus.”

“What happened to him?”

“I don’t know.” He debated whether to tell the boy the truth or not. “Zeus might’ve been hurt.”

“By the bad man that shot you?”

“That’s right.”

“I’ll put some fresh straw in a stall for him,” Johnny volunteered. “When Ethan brings him back, he’ll have a clean place to stay and get better.”

Touched by the boy’s offer, Jake couldn’t speak for a moment. “Thanks, kid. I’m sure Zeus would like that.”

“I’d best go get it ready,” Johnny stated solemnly. “And I’ll tell Pete, too. He knows all about how to take care of horses. He’ll know what to do.”

“I’m sure he will.”

Johnny scurried out of the room and Jake listened to the muffled thud of his boots down the stairs. His chest tightened with an undefinable emotion. What had he done to deserve the boy’s affection? He’d enjoyed teaching Johnny how to ride and spending time with the kid, but he’d not gone out of his way to gain his friendship. Somewhere along the way, the kid had formed an attachment.

Even more surprising, Jake reciprocated that feeling. He’d always figured children were a necessary evil, something to be tolerated until they grew up into interesting adults. The bond he shared with Johnny was something he’d not anticipated.

Weariness overtook him, and despite his worry for his horse, he fell asleep.

Some time later, a touch on his shoulder awakened him.

“Jake,” Kit said.

“What is it?” he asked with a sleep-graveled voice.

“Ethan found Zeus.”

Her words shoved the effects of slumber aside. “How is he? Is he hurt?”

Kit nodded somberly, and dread filled him. “It’s pretty bad.”

Jake threw back his covers. “I want to see him.”

She grabbed his arm. “You shouldn’t get up yet, Jake.”

He shook himself free of her hold, and swung his feet to the floor. “I’m going.”

Kit pressed her lips together. “All right, but let me help you.”

She handed him his clothes and turned her back while he struggled into them. The floor tipped, but he gritted his teeth and pulled on his boots. He stood and took a shaky step.

Silently, Kit moved to his side and slipped an arm
around his waist. Jake draped his arm across her shoulders and they left the room together.

His head pounding and his stomach churning, Jake kept his sights focused on the barn where Kit guided him. She didn’t speak, and Jake was relieved. He wasn’t ready to hear how badly hurt Zeus was.

They went into the barn and Kit led him to a stall where her hired men and Johnny gathered around. Ethan and Charlie moved apart to allow Jake through. Steeling himself, Jake looked into the lantern-lit pen and saw Pete Two Ponies bending over Zeus, who lay on his side in the fresh straw.

“How bad?” Jake asked, not caring that his trembling voice betrayed his feelings.

Pete turned and shook his head slowly, then returned his attention to the palomino.

Jake opened the gate, and Kit stepped back, leaving him to negotiate the last few feet by himself. Oblivious to everyone’s presence, Jake dropped to his knees beside Zeus’s head. He laid a shaking hand on the stallion’s sweat-coated neck.

“Hey there, fellah. You look like I feel,” Jake said softly.

Zeus snorted, the sound a faint echo of his usual whinny.

Jake spotted the blood on Zeus’s chest, and his heart tightened painfully. He didn’t need Pete to tell him Zeus was dying in slow, suffering degrees.

“I don’t know how he made it back here,” Ethan said quietly.

Jake tried to smile and failed. “He always was a stubborn cuss.”

Pete touched Jake’s arm. “There’s nothing anyone can do,” the old Indian said.

“Yes, there is.” He stared into Pete’s wisdom-filled eyes.

Pete nodded, and straightened, then walked over to Ethan. “Jake needs your gun.”

“No!” Johnny’s cry ripped through Jake’s sorrow.

Kit grabbed hold of her son to keep him from running into the stall.

“Let him in,” Jake said to Kit.

She hesitated a moment, then released the boy. Johnny stumbled to Jake’s side.

“You have to make him better. Zeus can’t die,” Johnny pleaded.

“Everyone has to die sometime, Johnny. We can’t make Zeus better. He’s hurt real bad,” Jake explained, even as his own grief threatened to choke him.

“But the books say he’s your best friend. There has to be
something
you can do.”

Jake took a shaky breath. “Do you want me to keep him alive a little longer, even though it means he’ll be in a lot of pain?”

Johnny leaned over Jake, and stroked Zeus’s forehead. “No.”

“As Zeus’s best friend, it’s up to me to stop his suffering. Do you understand?”

A tear splashed on Jake’s arm, leaving a damp circle on his shirtsleeve. “Yes,” the boy whispered.

“Come on, Johnny,” Kit said huskily.

Jake glanced up to see her standing above them. The light reflected off her spectacles, but he noticed the bright sheen of moisture in her eyes.

“Go with your mother,” Jake said, urging the boy to his feet.

Johnny sniffled and laid his small hand on Zeus’s forehead. “Bye, Zeus.”

Kit guided Johnny out of the stall, and Pete handed Jake a revolver. With a nod of understanding, the ancient Indian followed Ethan and Charlie out of the barn.

Jake hefted the weapon’s weight in his palm, wanting
to fling the gun aside. Instead, he tightened his hold on it.

“I’m sorry, Zeus, but I can’t let you suffer.” Jake took a deep shuddering breath, and tears stung his eyes. “You’ve been a loyal friend—the best a man could ask for.”

He laid one hand on Zeus’s neck, and aimed the pistol with the other. His finger curled around the trigger. “Good-bye, old friend.”

The gunshot sounded like an explosion, and Kit jumped. Tears ran unheeded down her cheeks. Though sobs tore at her throat, she kept them inside. Taking a tentative step toward Zeus’s stall, she saw Jake leaning against the top rail. His head hung down, and he held the revolver loosely in one hand.

Silently Kit walked over to him and took the gun from his grasp. She didn’t dare look into the pen, knowing she’d lose control if she did. She laid her palm on Jake’s back. “Come on. Let’s go back to the house,” she said softly.

Jake didn’t move. “He was a good horse, Kit. The best a man could ask for.”

She nodded. “I know.”

Silence surrounded them.

Jake pushed himself upright and came out of the pen. In the barn’s meager light, his pallor gave his face a haunting skeletal appearance. Kit stayed close to Jake’s side but didn’t attempt to help him as they walked out of the barn.

Pete and Charlie stood by the corral, but Ethan and Johnny were nowhere in sight. Kit suspected the young man had taken her son to see the new foal, hoping to assuage the boy’s grief.

She handed Charlie Ethan’s revolver and followed Jake to the house, feeling Jake’s sorrow as keenly as if it were her own.

Jake negotiated the stairs slowly and dropped onto the bed in his room. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m going to get the bastard that killed him,” he vowed.

Kit removed his boots and covered him with the blanket. By the time she was done, he was asleep.

“I know you will,” she whispered.

Jake awakened around suppertime, weak and hungry. Kit brought him a tray laden with food and set it on the nightstand.

He sat up, but a bout with dizziness forced him to close his eyes until her face stopped spinning like a roulette wheel.

“Do you want me to feed you?”

Jake scowled. “I can do it myself.”

She shrugged and set the tray across his lap, then sat down in the chair. “I’ll stay in case you change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

“I’ll still stay.”

Jake managed to eat most of the potatoes and beans, as well as the beef. He drank two glasses of water, then sipped his coffee.

“Did someone take care of him?” Jake asked abruptly.

Kit nodded. “Charlie and Ethan did.”

“They didn’t let Johnny help, did they?”

“No. He stayed in the house.”

Jake breathed a sigh of relief. “It was hard enough on the kid.”

“It was harder on
you
.” Her chin trembled. “I’m so sorry about Zeus, Jake. I know how much he meant to you.”

Her sympathy reopened his own grief, and he forced
his voice to remain even. “I couldn’t let him suffer.”

Kit remained quiet a moment, then asked, “Do you have any idea who shot you?”

He pressed his head back against the pillow. He had gotten sloppy. The most likely suspect was someone who thought gunning him down would bolster his own fame. He’d been thinking about Kit and Johnny, and that lapse had nearly cost him his life. It
had
cost Zeus’s life.

“I didn’t see anything.”

“Whoever it was knew you were spending Easter at my place,” she mused aloud.

“Maybe Bertie Wellensiek was trying to save my soul.”

“That’s not funny. Somebody wants you dead.”

“Or maybe they were just scaring me. Maybe it was your boyfriend Preston.”

“I doubt it. The newspaper is the only weapon he uses.” Her frown deepened. “Do you think it was someone trying to cash in on your reputation?”

Jake considered easing her worries but decided she deserved to know of his suspicions. “More than likely.”

Her complexion paled. She stood and picked up his tray. “Get some rest, Jake. We can talk more later.”

Jake clasped her wrist. He could more than encircle it with his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t worry, Kit. This isn’t any of your concern.”

“Yes, it is.”

“What happened wasn’t your fault,” he reiterated. “I’m the one in your debt.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Jake. It’s me who owes you.”

He studied the green flecks in her compassionate eyes. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?”

“Taking care of me. What do you want from me?”

She tilted her head. “You’re my friend, Jake. I don’t want anything from you.”

Kit left the room and a hollow yearning opened in Jake’s chest. Maggie had never asked anything of him, either, besides a good time in bed. He had proposed to her, but that had been during one of his weak moments after he’d sated his needs with her willing body. He’d been young, and his offer had been a spontaneous one without a thought to the consequences.

Experienced Maggie had known he didn’t love her like a man should love a woman. She’d turned him down, bruising his fragile pride. Later, Jake had been glad she had. They would’ve ended up hating one another.

His feelings toward Kit were different. He wanted Kit in his bed, but he also admired her compassion and fiery spirit. No longer a painfully shy wallflower, Kit had grown into an independent woman with strong beliefs and the courage to stick to them.

He squeezed his eyes shut, flinching when an arrow of pain streaked through his head. Grateful for the distraction despite his discomfort, Jake allowed the familiar sounds of the spring day to lull him to sleep.

Jake pulled on his trousers, glad to see that they were his own and they were clean. His temple still pounded, but much of his strength had returned and he’d grown bored soon after he’d awakened in the afternoon. After tucking his shirt into his waistband and easing into his boots, Jake carefully walked downstairs and out onto the porch.

The sky had been particularly generous to the sun, allowing it to shine unhindered by clouds. The bright rays warmed the air, bringing the pungent smell of spring, earthy and fresh, to the land. Jake was glad he was alive to experience it.