Maureen McKade (30 page)

“No,” she whispered. She studied him with glistening eyes. “I thought you could chase the awful memories away.”

Matt’s throat tightened. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her. Libby’s soft curves played havoc upon his self-restraint. He buried his nose in her burnished ringlets and closed his eyes, inhaling the sweet fragrance of Libby and lilacs. Despite what she’d been through, Libby remained a loving, compassionate woman. She’d had the strength to take in a boy who nobody else wanted, and she’d
taken on the demons that tormented him. She deserved to know the truth about him, too.

“Did you know I was married before?” he asked.

Libby pulled back and looked up at him. “No.”

He cupped her head in his hand and eased her cheek down to rest on his chest. “I left the Rangers in fifty-eight to go back to the place where I’d been raised by my ma. I fixed up the house and corrals and bought a few horses. I met Rachel at an auction. She was there with her father. She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever laid eyes on, with white gold hair and clear blue eyes. We were married six months later, and had a son less than a year after that. I figured I was the luckiest man alive, with a lovely wife and a boy to carry on my name.”

“What happened?”

“We only had Joshua about a year when he came down with a fever and died.”

Libby’s arm crept around his waist and she squeezed him. “I’m so sorry, Matt.”

The sting of the memory didn’t seem as sharp as before, and he continued. “I was, too. I don’t think Rachel ever got over it. I joined the Confederate army a few months after that and left her with her parents. When I came back nearly three years later, I found she wasn’t the same woman I’d married. But then, I guess I wasn’t the same man either. I’d been scarred by a saber, and I’d seen more death than a man should ever have to.”

“What did your wife do?”

The pain of Rachel’s betrayal brought a long pause. “She took one look at me and swore I’d never touch her again. She let every other man bed her, but not her lawful husband.”

“Oh, Matt, how horrible.” Empathy radiated from her sensitive features.

He shook his head bitterly. “That wasn’t the worst of it. She got pregnant by one of her lovers. The baby
was born dead, and Rachel bled to death. I left Texas the night after they were buried and I never went back.”

Libby raised her tear-filled gaze and laid her palm along the side of his face. “No wonder you thought a woman couldn’t love you. Rachel used your scar as an excuse. If she had really cared for you, she’d never have done such a terrible thing.”

Matt blinked back the moisture blurring his sight. “Eli told me the same thing, but I didn’t believe him.”

“If you hadn’t been scarred, she would’ve justified her affairs some other way. It wasn’t you, Matt, it was her.” Gently, she pressed her lips to the jagged line.

Her light kiss sent a shaft of longing through Matt. Her plump breasts flattened against him, scorching him with their tempting softness. His body tightened with a desire so strong he wanted to tear off her cumbersome skirt and bury himself in her moist heat.

She’d been raped, and he lusted after her like a damned bull. Ashamed by his physical response, Matt forced himself to breathe deeply and ease the painful ache in his groin. He remained tense, afraid to touch her, yet desperately wanting to. He closed his eyes, but visions of her pearlescent breasts and the memory of her satiny thighs sent his costly control straight to hell. He grew thick with need.

“Libby, I can’t stay here,” Matt whispered hoarsely. “If I do, you may end up hating me.”

Libby’s rapid pulse fluttered in her slender neck. “No, don’t go.”

Matt grasped her upper arms tightly, angry with her for not understanding, and furious with himself for not being able to restrain his base instincts. “I might hurt you, and I’d never be able to live with myself if I did.”

Her eyes pleaded with him to stay. “You could never do that, Matt. Besides, we haven’t finished the lessons yet.”

She brushed the tip of her pink tongue across her lower lip. “
L
is for I love you, Matt.”

Libby’s breathy declaration dispelled Matt’s remaining demons, and he threw off the last chain of distrust surrounding his soul.

“I love you more than life itself, Libby,” he said prayerfully.

Libby drew away from Matt and stood. He stared at her, confused. Didn’t she want his love in return?

A tremulous smile curved her lips and she reached behind her. A moment later, her blouse fell to the floor. She unbuttoned her skirt, and the material pooled beside her shirtwaist.

Her erect nipples strained against the thin white fabric. The cotton drawers stretched over her shapely thighs. Matt’s heart thundered like a herd of wild horses, and blood surged to his loins. Libby enfolded him within her welcoming arms, laying her cheek on his crown. Her womanly scent wafted up, and Matt savored the passionate fragrance.

With trembling fingers, he tugged the satin ribbon holding her chemise together and the material fell open, exposing her taut breasts. He pressed his lips to a soft slope and trailed a line of kisses to the summit.

He gently flicked his tongue across the hard nubbin, and Libby groaned from the exquisite torment. His tawny hair brushed and tickled her chest. His mouth branded her with hot dew. He seared a moist path to her waist, and untied the drawstring of her drawers. He slipped his hands into the band, easing the garment down to her ankles. Libby stepped out of the material. Cool air whispered across her skin, and goosebumps arose on her arms and legs.

Matt’s breath caught in his throat. Clothed only in the lantern’s golden glow, she resembled a wispy dream, as ethereal as an angel.

“You’re even more beautiful than I imagined,”
Matt whispered huskily. He ran his hand over her hip. Her skin was cool, but her heated gaze appeared both excited and wary. He looped an arm around her waist and gently urged her to the mattress. “Lie down, angel eyes.”

She eased down on the narrow bed, and Matt stretched out beside her stiff body. “Relax, Libby. I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

Matt sketched a delicate line from the dusky tip of Libby’s breast down her ribcage, and followed the concave curve of her waist. He laid his hand on her silken belly, and teased the auburn curls at the juncture of her thighs. Her muscles rippled beneath his touch and she grabbed his arm.

“What are you doing?” she demanded breathlessly.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.”

He brushed his lips across hers, bridling her stampeding fear and easing the tension from her willowy body. “I promise I’ll be gentle.”

Matt skimmed his palms down her slender legs and returned to the apex of her thighs. He found her hot slickness with his searching fingers, and his thumb stroked her bud of desire.

Libby’s breath skipped and she whimpered. “Oh, Matt, I’m going to burst.”

Matt strained for control of his ascending passion. “It gets even better.”

“How?”

Despite the precarious hold on his fragile restraint, Matt chuckled. “You’ll see.”

He continued to manipulate the sensitive nub and her moisture drenched his fingers. Gently, Matt probed deeper in her narrow passage.

Libby dug her heels into the mattress and lifted her hips to meet Matt’s intimate invasion. She captured Matt’s face between her hand, and his whiskers
rasped erotically across her palms. As Libby nipped his lower lip, the whirling vortex Matt created in the center of her passion spiraled out of control. The explosion caught her unprepared, and she shattered into a thousand splinters of light.

Her body remained weightless and slowly floated back to earth. She opened her eyes, and Matt’s beloved face hovered above her.

“I never knew,” Libby whispered in wonder.

“We’re not done yet.”

Disbelief filled her.

He rose from the bed and removed his clothing. Libby stared unabashedly at his muscular buttocks and the evidence of his own arousal. Fear tiptoed into her mind. Would he hurt her now, just as Harrison had done? Would everything he’d made beautiful be destroyed? She wouldn’t be able to bear it. The disappointment would destroy her heart, wounding her more critically than the physical pain Harrison had inflicted, because she loved Matt.

He rejoined her, his arousal brushing her thigh. She remembered the suffering Harrison’s hard flesh had brought her, and she shuddered.

“Are you cold?” Matt asked solicitously.

She shook her head and admitted her misgivings. “I’m afraid, Matt. You might hurt me like he did.”

Matt trembled. “Only because he forced himself on you. When two people love each other, the joining is pleasurable for both. Just let nature take its course, angel eyes.”

He brushed her nipples with his fingertips and hot liquid again pooled in her belly. His hands, so large yet so gentle, followed the dip and hollow of her waist. His manhood throbbed against her, and curiosity impelled her to trace her forefinger across his rigid-ness.

Matt moaned and she drew back as if burned.

“No, that’s all right. It’s been some time. I don’t know how much longer I can wait,” Matt said.

“I want you to show me how it can be between a man and a woman in love.”

Her innocent request severed Matt’s thread of control. He rolled on top of her and positioned himself between her long, graceful legs. He shifted and brought the tip of his desire to her dewy entrance.

“Remember, Libby. I love you,” Matt whispered.

He swooped down to capture her mouth with his, and she locked her arms around his neck. As he inched into her tightness, she grew still beneath him. Her breathing shallowed, and her face paled.

“Matt, I—”

“It’s all right. I’ll go slow and let you get used to the feel of me,” he reassured.

He prayed he’d have the strength to curb the demands of his fevered desire.

He kissed her eyelids and his muscles trembled with impatience. Sweat beaded his forehead. He nibbled her velvety earlobe, and she yielded to the pleasure of his caresses. Her tension eased, and Matt slid another inch into her heavenly warmth. She tightened around him, her fingernails raking his back. He hardly noticed the pain. His entire concentration focused on holding himself immobile within her moist sheathe, to allow her to grow accustomed to his firm length.

He’d never needed a woman as much as he needed sweet, loving Libby.

She trembled, and the echoing tremors broke Matt’s resolve. He penetrated her completely, her snug heat encompassing his throbbing hardness. All coherent thought escaped Matt as he rocked back and forth within her. His existence revolved around the woman below him and the perfect joining of their bodies.

Libby’s fear evaporated, and awe filled her eyes. She met him stroke for stroke. He grasped her hips and buried himself deeply into her moistness.

“Matt,” Libby whimpered.

Unbearable tension tightened in Matt’s stomach, and the rising swell of his passion approached its pinnacle. His release arrived like the pounding of an ocean wave, and he poured his life into her deepest recesses.

Afterward, Matt rolled to Libby’s side and gathered her close. She laid her damp head on his shoulder, a contented smile curving her swollen lips. Her tripping heartbeat matched the tempo of his.

“I didn’t think anything could feel so wonderful. So right,” Libby whispered.

“I didn’t either,” Matt admitted.

Libby’s puzzled gaze flickered across his face. “But you were married.”

Matt swallowed. “Rachel said she never enjoyed it.”

“Now I know she truly didn’t love you,” Libby said. She brushed a lock of tawny hair from his sweat-slicked forehead and grinned impishly. “I’ll have to tell Lenore she was right.”

He frowned, puzzled. “About what?”

“She told me you could probably show a woman a fine time in bed.”

Startled embarrassment warmed his face. “She did, did she?”

Libby dropped a light kiss on his jaw. “She also said if she was thirty years younger, she’d be setting her bonnet for you.”

With a deft motion, Matt lifted Libby atop him and trapped her within his arms, flattening her round breasts against his chest. Her body was soft and smooth. “I’m afraid she would’ve been disappointed. I’ve already found a bonnet that suits me just fine.”

He rotated his hips sensually and Libby’s mischevious smirk disappeared, replaced by a new awareness.
She wanted him again. Her cheeks flamed. Harrison had said her desire was sinful, an evil to be beaten out of her. She had taken shameless pleasure in Matt’s arms, but he had seemed to enjoy her unabandoned response.

His arousal grazed her leg and she gasped in surprise.

“I didn’t think a man could be ready again so …” Her voice trailed off and she glanced away, embarrassed.

He feathered his thumbs across her winged brows. “He can if he loves the woman as much as I love you. I’ll always want you.”

She twined her fingers through the springy curls at the base of his throat and studied the slight cleft in his masculine chin. Trepidation threatened to rob her voice. “Is it wrong for a woman to enjoy it?”

Matt’s low-timbered chuckle resonated through Libby. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He sobered and shook his head. “No, it’s not wrong. I figure God planned it that way, making men and women like He did. Love isn’t anything to be ashamed of, Libby.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “I swear it.”

She wondered if he’d still want her if he knew the truth of her repeated rapes. Her eyelids fluttered closed and her tears remained hidden, as did the ugly memories. Desperately, Libby wished Matt would love her again and vanquish the past to a place where even she couldn’t find it.

She opened her eyes to see concern etched in Matt’s rough-hewn features. He had stolen her love and given it back a hundredfold. She owed him her life, her sanity, and the truth, but the confession remained lodged in her throat.

“I want you again, Matt,” she asked with a trembling voice.

Matt caught her face between his calloused yet
gentle hands. He shook his head and a devilish grin captured his lips. “Good, because I planned on staying the rest of the night.”