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Authors: Elmore Leonard

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Maximum Bob (18 page)

BOOK: Maximum Bob
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He saw the cowboy hat in the mirror.

Elvin saying, “You do men in this place or just women and sissies?” And Betty turning, saying to him, “We do everybody. Have a seat, mister. You next.”

Gary almost said his name, but now the hat was gone from the mirror. He waited and finally heard Elvin say, “Is that you, Officer?” And Betty say, “Oh, you know each other?” She swiveled the chair around and now Gary was facing him, Elvin saying, “I thought you were some woman getting a marcel,” as he eased into the chair across from Gary’s, filling it with his bright blue suit.

Gary said, “You getting a haircut?”

Elvin smoothed the front of his suit coat. “Yeah, and I’m in a hurry too.”

Betty said, “Isabel will be here soon. You wait, okay?”

“I never had nobody name Isabel cut my hair,” Elvin said, “or been in a beauty parlor.”

Then why did he come? Gary thought, Betty saying, “We do hair designs. This is no beauty parlor, no. But I can make you beautiful if you want, mister. Fix you up.”

“I wouldn’t mind being beautiful,” Elvin said, “if I don’t have to wait.”

“Isabel, she be here soon.”

“But I don’t want Isabel. I want you.”

“Sure, in a few minutes. It won’t be long.”

“I mean I want you right now,” Elvin said.

•          •          •

“T
he reason I came back,” Leanne said, “I left my rare and beautiful window crystal buried in the backyard.” She looked out that way. “See the two petticoat palms? They look like women, don’t they, in fancy dress. The crystal is buried between them.”

“In the ground?”

“To revitalize its energy. The earth, you know, has wonderful restorative powers. What a window crystal does,” Leanne said, “used for meditation, it allows you to look into your soul and see the real you. Not the one you see in the mirror, the one you’re pretending to be.”

Kathy said, “Oh.”

“It’s like using a crystal ball to see things about yourself aura-wise, you might say.”

“You can see into the future with it?”

“Some. Or you can use it to locate missing persons or help others see themselves. If I aimed a window crystal at you and then looked into it with my third eye, I’d get a pretty good idea of your inner self. Wanda was always after me to use it on Big.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t get him to even touch the crystal. Wanda says ‘cause he’s afraid of it, but that’s no reason I shouldn’t keep working on him.”

“Is that why she didn’t want to leave?”

“Partly. She likes it here, it reminds her of her home in Clinch County, Georgia. But mostly she thinks I should be able to save Big, change the way he is. Wanda says he’s gonna have an awful time on the other side if he doesn’t learn to open his heart. But try and get him to think about dying.”

“You might have better luck with him now,” Kathy said, “after what happened. You know he was shot at?”

“When I saw it in the paper,” Leanne said, “I wondered if it had changed him any. Would you say?”

Kathy thought about it and nodded. “He seems less sure of himself.”

“Aware of his mortality in this life?”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Kathy said. “But I think you could get to him now, do him a world of good.” Kathy hesitated, then went straight ahead saying, “I mean if you could find it in your heart to stay here and be his wife again.” She took a breath and said, “Big needs you.”

Leanne was looking at her in a strange cockeyed sort of way, unfocused, like she was stoned. Maybe using her third eye, Kathy wasn’t sure.

“You were sent here,” Leanne said.

“Actually I came to look for something in the trash.”

It brought Leanne back. She said, “The trash was picked up this morning,” and seemed concerned. “Hauled away. Is this something valuable you lost? Maybe I can help you find it.”

Kathy eased back in the chair, quiet for a moment. She said, “Thanks anyway,” not wanting to get into it with Leanne. “It’s not that important.” And saw the woman giving her that strange look again, as if in some kind of trance.

Leanne said, “You were sent here. Did you want me to contact someone for you? A deceased relative?”

Kathy shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

“You brought a message,” Leanne said, “instructing me to stay and help Big. I feel I should give you one in return. I believe I’m suppose to. Wait now. Wanda’s telling me about someone… Who?… She doesn’t know. It’s someone who passed over recently.”

Kathy said, “I don’t know of anyone.”

Leanne said, “Shhh,” glaring at her. Then stared cockeyed again or stoned and raised her hand. “Wait, this person hasn’t passed over.” She said, “What?” And said, “Oh, my Lord. He’s passing over right now, as I speak.”

Kathy saw her eyes squeeze closed and heard her little-girl voice say, “They’s two of ‘em, Leanne.”

•          •          •

T
his was good, the woman trying to take it as a joke, but not too sure now, getting nervous, saying, “I can’t leave this man sitting here, can I?”

“Why can’t you?”

“He’s here first, with an appointment. He’s a good customer.”

The cop was staring at him not saying a word, no doubt wondering what in the hell was going on. Was he being played with or what? Meantime the woman was working on him again, scissors clicking away, trying to get it done quick.

“I know who he is,” Elvin said. “I still want you to come over here and cut my hair. I want it cut real short too, so nobody can pull on it.”

The woman said, “If you can be patient for jus’ a few minutes,” in her Hispanic way of talking, and the cop’s left hand came out from under the cloth.

He raised it to her saying, “There’s no hurry. Take your time.”

Almost just like in that book. It made Elvin think of it again: Sonny reading, getting to the part where Frank starts to put his rifle on the guy to move him out of the chair and the guy tells him if he raises it another inch he’ll kill him. With what? Elvin knew he was bluffing. Why didn’t Frank? Sonny read some more, but Elvin had lost interest in Frank, knowing he’d be dead before the end of the book, so why read it. Instead of talking, letting himself get faked out, why didn’t he use the goddamn rifle? That was the difference between a book and real life. In a book, the one who was supposed to be the bad guy always got killed in the end.

Elvin pushed out of the chair and moved behind it to a washbasin and counter, glancing at himself in the mirror. He picked up a hair dryer that looked like a Buck Rogers gun and thought of smashing the mirror with it. He could see them watching. First ask the woman if she’s ready to cut his hair. She starts to argue, smash the mirror and then say, Now are you? And the cop would be out of that chair so fast… Best not to touch anything. Keep it simple. He moved toward the opening in the lattice fence saying over his shoulder, “Seeing you’re so busy, I’ll come back later. Have Isabel cut it.”

“Is okay with me,” the woman said, “you go someplace else.”

Let her think whatever she wanted.

Elvin walked through the room with the porch furniture to the front door, opened it and let it slam closed. There were all those things you wanted to do and couldn’t, and finally there was something you could if you had the nerve, if you quit thinking about it and
did it
. He moved back to the lattice fence not making a sound, the Speed-Six revolver in his hand now, peeked through the slats and —Jesus, the cop was pulling the cloth over his head, shoving it at the woman, about to push out of the chair—and Elvin had to step quick to the opening. He shot Gary as he was standing up and it punched him back in the chair. He shot him again sitting in it, starting to slide out. He shot the woman as she was screaming. It knocked her off her feet and shut her up. The hair puller, Gary, was on the floor getting to his hands and knees, straightening up now—Jesus, with his gun in his hand—and Elvin shot him again and then one more time before he got out of there, that sound ringing in his head.

24

T
uesday afternoon Hector said to Dr. Tommy, “You believe there’s another dermatologist in the world who sunbathes?”

Dr. Tommy, lying naked on the patio in a chaise, said he was no longer a dermatologist, so it was okay.

He was no longer anything, on a crack cocaine binge, his new thing, and looked at himself in mirrors making faces, as if talking to himself. He was always a little crazy, but they had fun. Now, since doing crack with the go-go whore, he was crazy in a different way. In two days he had become a rockhead. It was all he wanted, saying, “Where have I been?”
Where
? Right here doing cocaine, the best weed, Quaaludes. At least then he was aware and made sense when he spoke. Now he called the creature, Elvin, “the assassin in underwear,” knew that much, but didn’t care Elvin was taking over his home.

Hector would say, “You
know
he can get us in trouble. You
know
he isn’t going to kill the judge. It doesn’t matter to you now if he does or not. Why don’t you make him leave?”

The doctor would seem to be considering a way to do it and then say, “We need a source we can rely on. We buy it from the go-go whore, she adds her profit on top. I don’t blame her, but it isn’t the most economical way to buy it. Unless you bring her here, give her what she paid and share it with her. No, wait. If I do that I would be getting less, wouldn’t I? That would be okay, though, I like to watch her. Do you know she’s killing herself? She doesn’t know it yet, but she is. Ask her.”

“What, if she knows she’s killing herself or if she wants to come here?”

“That’s an idea. She stays here, it would save you going back and forth. We let her use a car to make the buy.”

It was all he thought about.

“Maybe she can cook,” Hector said, “and clean the house.”

“Maybe. Ask her that too.”

See? Now he was seriously crazy.

“I’m trying to get rid of the assassin,” Hector said, “and you want to bring his girlfriend here to live with us.”

“She hates him,” Dr. Tommy said.

Again missing the point. Though it got Hector to realize that, given a choice, he would prefer to have the go-go whore in the house than the creature, the animal that wore a suit. And if there was a way to get rid of him the doctor wouldn’t care.

He would like to shoot Elvin, feeling this since almost the first time he saw him, and had been thinking of ways to dispose of his enormous body. Drop it in a canal or the Intracoastal. Take it to a woods. Steal a car and put it in the trunk. If he knew how to steal a car.

The doorbell chimed.

Hector put on his silk robe and left Dr. Tommy baking on the patio. By the time he reached the front door the high-low ding-dong chimes had sounded at least ten times. He peeked through the spy hole before opening the door, saw a young woman with short dark hair waved to extend out on each side. Cute hair, a little-girl face. The beige jacket and white skirt were
okay
, nothing special.

She said, “Dr. Vasco?”

Hector shook his head. “He’s not in.”

“That’s too bad,” Kathy said, flipping open her ID case to show her picture, her name, and those official words,
Department of Corrections
. “I’m his new Community Control officer.”

“Oh, you know something? I thought he went to AA, but he’s sleeping,” Hector said. “Please, come in.” She moved past him and he said, “I like your hair. It’s much more chic than in the picture.”

His voice so delicate, didn’t go with his coarse features, a little guy with a big nose and a ponytail in a robe that touched the floor. Kathy said, “Thanks, Hector,” turning to face him and saw his eyes light up.

He said, “You know my name,” pleased but still surprised.

“I know all about you,” Kathy said.

“Now, I don’t believe
that
. You may have a complete dossier on the doctor, but
me
? No, you couldn’t.”

Close to him Kathy said, “Will you tell me things I don’t know?” Playing with him.

He liked it. He said, “I might.”

“Would you wake up the doctor for me?”

He said, “You can, if you want. He’s on the patio.”

Following him along the hall she asked if a Sergeant Hammond was here earlier. Hector stopped.

“He was here yesterday.”

“You’ve been home all day?”

“Yes, so I would have seen him.”

“Is Elvin around?”

This time he hesitated. “I’m sorry, who?”

“I thought we were getting along,” Kathy said. “You like my hair, I like yours. Why spoil it?”

He smiled at her and said, “All right, I haven’t seen him.”

“Is he staying here?”

“I wouldn’t say he’s
staying
, no.”

“What would you say?”

“He’s here two nights, that’s all.”

“You know where he went?”

“No, but if I did…”

Kathy waited.

Maybe too long, giving Hector a chance to change whatever he was going to say to: “Is he your business?”

“I’m his probation officer.”

“He isn’t any of
my
business, so I don’t want to talk about him, okay?”

“I think you want to,” Kathy said, “but the idea makes you nervous.” She said, “Anything you tell me, Hector, would be in confidence. I’m not a cop.”

He said, “No? Well, you sound like one,” and motioned for her to follow: the rest of the way along the hall and through the gold-wallpapered den to glass doors open on the patio. “There he is,” Hector said, stepping aside.

“In the flesh,” Kathy said, looking at the man lying naked, the anklet on his right leg, tanned a deep brown all over and Gary was right, what he’d said last night, the guy’s member was darker than any part of him. A cop’s observation, something to keep in mind for possible identification though not conclusive; there could be others that dark, weird, almost black.

“You going to check his equipment,” Hector said.

“You kidding? I wouldn’t touch it with a stick.”

“I’m talking about that thing on his ankle.”

Sure he was, acting innocent.

“I wouldn’t touch that either,” Kathy said, turning from sunlight to the semi-dark room with its glittery walls. She sat down in the sofa, sinking into it. Hector remained in the doorway, in light. She had to turn her head to see him.

“You worried about the doctor?”

No answer.

“What’s he on?”

Hector looked over now. “I’m not stupid.”

“And I’m not a narc,” Kathy said. “Come and sit down, talk to me. You have a convicted murderer living in your house, the doctor doesn’t seem to care and you don’t know what to do about it. Am I close?”

Hector came over, taking his time. “You think you know everything.”

“No, I need you to tell me.”

“Why? There’s nothing you can do.”

“How do you know that? Please, sit down with me. I can be your friend if you want.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Will you tell me one thing? Why the doctor lets Elvin use his car and gives him a key to the front door.”

Hector was staring at her now.

“Talk to me,” Kathy said, “and I won’t look for dope. I imagine Earlene brought a few rocks Sunday night, but they’re gone, uh? Listen, I won’t look for guns either.”

Hector kept staring at her. Now he glanced toward the patio. Now she watched him sink to his knees in front of her—a slow, fluid motion in the robe, a priest in vestments—and sit back on his heels. He said in his delicate manner, “You’re making serious accusations.”

“Of course I am,” Kathy said. “I’m putting you on the spot. You know I can search the house if I want. Look for Earlene’s G-string she left here?… What do you think of her?”

“Nothing. She’s a whore.”

“She turn the doctor on?”

“He doesn’t need someone like that.”

“Elvin brings her?”

“He did once.”

“I told her I’d pick up her G-string.”

“Well, that was presumptuous of you.”

“Why do you say that?”

He had sounded offended; now he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

This was a weird guy. Kathy watched him. She said, “You want me to tell you something I know?”

“You’re going to anyway.”

“Maybe I should whisper it,” Kathy said, paused and said, “Elvin and Dr. Tommy are going to kill a judge.”

It hooked him good. He said, “No. Oh, no,” shaking his head, but too late to hide that look of panic in his eyes, there and gone.

Kathy eased toward him, laying her arms on her knees. “They change their mind?”

“It’s crazy what you’re saying.”

“The police know it.”

“You’re making that up. There’s nothing for them to know.”

“You want to protect the doctor. Of course you would. But if I know it, you think the police don’t? Come on.”

“Believe me, please, he isn’t doing anything.”

“The doctor, but what about Elvin?”

“I don’t speak for him.”

“You want to tell me something without saying it,” Kathy said. “That’s hard to do.”

“I don’t want to tell you anything. Look at him,” Hector said, getting a plea in his voice, his eyes. “You said yourself he doesn’t care about Elvin, what he does.” His gaze moved, came back and he lowered his voice saying, “There was a story in the paper, somebody trying to kill the judge with an alligator. You think that was Dr. Tommy?”

Kathy hunched in closer. “I think it gave Dr. Tommy the idea.” She saw Hector shaking his head again and said, “But the doctor was putting Elvin on. ‘Look at this, someone’s trying to kill that judge we both know intimately. Not a bad idea, uh?’ Having some fun with Elvin. Was it like that?”

“Exactly,” Hector said, going for it, “and Elvin thought he was serious. The doctor has even forgotten it. Ask him—he’ll say, ‘What judge?’”

“Stay high, you don’t have to think,” Kathy said. “He can absolve himself of responsibility.” She shrugged. “It might work. But you have clear eyes, Hector, you know what Elvin’s doing. You don’t want to say anything because you’re afraid of him. Listen, I am too. But I know a guy who isn’t afraid. The detective that was here yesterday, Gary, a good guy. He’s coming back. When he does, why not talk to him? What do you say?”

Nothing. Not a word.

“Tell him what you’ve told me.”

“Or you will? Is that what you’re saying?”

“Gary knows all this,” Kathy said, “what we’ve talked about. But it doesn’t do him any good unless you tell him, yes, it’s true. Hector, you’re the key witness. You don’t want Elvin here, you can get him put away, sent back to prison.”

Hector was frowning now. “But what’s he done? Nothing yet. You going to wait for him to do it?”

There it was again, Gary’s objection.

“He’s conspired to commit murder,” Kathy said. She saw Hector on the edge, wanting to believe her. All she had to do was push him over.

“Hector, I’ve told you things no cop ever would. I could even be accused of blowing their investigation by confiding in you, revealing what they know. But I don’t care. You know why? Dr. Tommy’s one of my cases and I don’t want to see him get in trouble, have to go to prison. Hector?…”

He was looking past her. Scrambling to his feet now. Kathy straightened and turned enough to see Dr. Tommy coming in from the patio, still naked, scratching his groin.

He said to Hector, “You have my robe on.”

Hector shook his head. “This is my robe.”

“Are you sure?”

“You left your robe by the swimming pool.”

Dr. Tommy said, “Oh.” As he turned to go back he noticed Kathy in the sofa. He gave her a nod, said, “How are you today?” and kept going. Still scratching himself.

Kathy watched him walk out into the sunlight, the doctor’s rear end somewhat lighter than the rest of him, the doctor holding a straight course but all the way gone, stoned out of his skull. She turned to Hector.

“What’re you doing?”

He had his back to her and was bent over, taking something off inside his robe. He turned to her and extended a G-string hanging from one finger. Black with silver sequins.

Kathy said, “Thank you,” and got out of there.

•          •          •

B
ob Gibbs had skipped his after-work stop at the Helen Wilkes and come straight home to put on a clean sport shirt and be ready for an interview this evening. A little girl from somewhere like the
Port St. Lucie Shopping News
wanted to talk to him about judging people’s character. She’d stopped in his chambers to set it up, a little wide-eyed cutie with country ways about her. He liked country girls, they learned early about nature and how animals did it. This one—he couldn’t think of her name—was brand-new at her profession, not yet cynical or slick at telling lies. The kind would write down everything he said and laugh at his wit.

In the kitchen he poured himself a Jim Beam thinking about character and how to judge it. The best way, you look at their priors. He saw offenders standing before him in their state-blue outfits and began thinking about auras—strange—not his own, other people’s, wondering what it would be like to see colors glowing off their bodies. It was something he had never given a thought to without Leanne bringing it up. He could tell the little girl from Port St. Lucie that’s what he did, checked their auras. She’d say, Really? Tell her you can do it once you have the gift. If you’re perceptive. First, of course, you have to be able to clear your mind of—what was the word, prejudicial or preconceived ideas? Something like that. You had to open your mind and heart, get rid of negative thoughts.

He was facing the window above the sink, looking out as he sipped his whiskey, so that the voice came from his left.

“Big?”

From the doorway to the dining area where Leanne stood smiling at him.

He said, “Jesus Christ.”

And she bowed her head at the reverence in his tone. “You’ve changed, Big. I can see it. The messenger told me you had, but I was doubtful till now I see it with my own eyes.”

He said, “Leanne?”

Not to question her identity. He wanted to know what she was doing here, but couldn’t get the words out.

“The messenger, Big, confirmed what my entity has been telling me all along, that it was selfish of me to leave when I know I can be the source of your enlightenment. Big?… I’m home.”

BOOK: Maximum Bob
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