Maybe This Time (23 page)

I dig my nails
into my thighs to stop myself from crying.

This is
it.

This is the
end.

The air in the
car feels suffocating, and I open the window a little so I can
breathe. Reid’s anger is hitting me in waves, as he sits there
brooding. I wrap my arms around myself, positioning my body to be
as far away from his as possible.

I’m out of the
car before he can even come to a full stop.

I don’t look
back.

I don’t hear
his car leave until I’m inside the house.

I collapse on
my bed, curling into a ball.

Who would have
thought my night would end like this?

Someone knocks
again on my door and I bury myself further under the covers.

“Summer, it’s
two in the afternoon,” I hear my brother say, and I can tell he’s
worried.

“Come in,” I
call out, my voice thick with sleep. I spent the night crying, and
I must look like shit.

“Hey,” he says
a little warily. He takes a seat on the end of my bed.

“Hey.”

“You okay?” he
asks, and I laugh humourlessly.

“No, but I
will be.”

“You wanna
tell me what happened?” he asks gently, relaxing onto the bed. I
tell him the story, leaving out Reid’s treatment in the car.

“So it was
just a misunderstanding, sis. Reid loves you, he’ll come
around.”

He might, but
do I want him to?

I force a
smile. “We’ll see, baby bro. It’s not the end of the world, right?”
Yeah, I just work for him, and happen to be best friends with his
brother. If that's even still the case. The thought makes my heart
hurt. If Ryan’s mad at me, I don’t know what I’ll do.

“I’m gonna
make you some coffee, why don’t you get your ass into the shower,”
he says as he turns to leave.

I get out of a
bed with a groan, and then look back down at it longingly. My zebra
bed sheets look so welcoming. I sigh heavily, and head for the
bathroom. Not even bothering to look into the mirror, I strip down
mechanically and hop into an almost scalding fall of water. In my
mind, I go through the list of things I need to get done.

First things
first. Knox Tavern. I need to find a new job, and stat. I turn the
shower off and wrap a towel around me. Still dripping wet, I wipe
my hand on the towel before picking up my phone and putting it on
speaker.

“Hey, baby
girl, I’m just on my way over to see you,” comes a gravelly
voice.

“Hey, dad. I
was wondering, is that job offer still open?”

He’s silent
for a beat. “Of course it is. But are you sure-”

“Thanks, dad,
I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright,” he
says, sighing.

We both hang
up.

I dry myself
and dress in a black maxi dress.

“Smells good,”
I say as I walk into the kitchen. “Never even knew you could cook,
Xander.”

He laughs.
“When the time calls for it.”

“Seriously?
This whole time!”

He laughs some
more. “I wanted my big sister to fuss over me, is that so bad?”

“You owe me,”
I grumble. Truth be told, I like fussing over him too.

“Your cooking
is way better though,” he says, grinning.

My lip
twitches, and I take a bite of toast. Running through my phone, I
scan all the messages in my inbox. Nothing from Reid, not like I
expected anything. What hurts the most is nothing from Ryan,
either. Dad comes over and we order in pizza for lunch. They're
both tip toeing around me, not wanting to bring up Reid’s name, and
I appreciate it.

After dad
leaves I head to the library, not surprised when I see Silas
sitting there in his usual seat. He looks worse for wear, and
doesn’t have any books or folders with him. I sit down opposite
him, and stare up at him in silence.

“I knew you
were his girlfriend,” he starts, and I stay silent. “Reece and I
were friends once.”

“What
happened?” I ask.

He sighs and
leans back in his chair. “Jade happened. She was with me first, you
know.”

I sit up
straight. “You fought over Jade?”

“She was my
girlfriend, until she wasn’t. She left me for Reece.”

“You were both
into the fighting scene?”

“Yeah, that’s
how we met.” He looks at me for a moment, clearly struggling with
what to say.

“I only hit
him twice, Summer, fuck. It happened too fast, he went down…” He
puts his face into his hands, shaking. After a beat, he looks up.
“Look, the reason I was pissed at Reece wasn’t just because he
stole Jade. If Jade was happy, I was happy. Reece was…” he trails
off.

“Tell me,” I
demand softly.

“Reece was
sleeping with Mia, Summer. And I know for a fact her baby is his,
not Reid's.”

“What?” I ask,
gaping. Silas nods sadly, his brown eyes full of regret.

“Mia's a
fucking bitch,” I snap. Then I realise something. “Jade found out,
didn’t she? She started acting weird all of a sudden, wanting to
move on.”

“I guess she
did,” Silas says, shrugging.

“Reid loves
that kid, what the hell am I supposed to do with this?” I ask, my
shoulders sagging.

“Ask Jade how
she found out?”

“How did you
find out?” I ask.

“I overheard
Reece and Mia talking before the fight,” he says, looking down at
the table.

“This is a
clusterfuck,” I say, puffing out a breath. “You look like shit,
Silas. Go home and rest. And… stop punishing yourself,” I say
softly.

He makes a
scoffing sound. “If only, Summer, if only.” He gets up and walks
out, without looking back.

Right here and
now I decide, there's no way in hell I can ever tell Reid about
this.

He’s not mine
to worry about anymore anyway, right?

I force myself
to study for a few hours and then head home. When I see Ryan’s
motorcycle parked at my house, I’m extremely surprised. I walk into
the house a little warily, not knowing what to expect.

“There you
are,” he says, standing in the kitchen drinking a juice box.

“Hey.”

“How you
holding up, babe?” he says, his eyes softening.

“I’m
okay.”

“You don’t
look okay,” he says knowingly.

“That’s not
very nice of you to point that out,” I snap.

“He’s gonna
realise he fucked up,” he says.

“And he’s
gonna be too late,” I reply softly, walking to the couch and
sitting down. Animal Planet is on, Ryan’s favourite channel.

“He was hurt,
babe, he'll get over it.”

“You’re not
mad at me?” I ask, turning my head to follow his movements as he
walks towards me and takes a seat next to me.

“No. Xander
told me what happened, not your fault, babe,” he says, pulling
gently on a lock of my hair.

“I’m not
working for you anymore,” I announce.

“Babe-”

“I’ll stay for
two weeks so you can find someone else.”

“Stubborn.”

“I’m
serious.”

“We’ll see
babe, two weeks is a long time,” he says with a sly smile.

“Where is he?”
I ask.

“At home in
his room, sulking.” I lean forward and wrap my arms around Ryan’s
stomach.

“I’m glad
you’re not mad at me. I thought you were gonna cut me out of your
life,” I admit.

“Cos my
brother overreacted? Don’t think so.”

“Love you,
Ry.”

“Love you too,
Summer, babe,” he says, holding me in his arms.

Four days
later, I’m getting dressed for work, dreading having to see
everyone, when there’s a knock on my door.

“Come in,
Xander!” I call out, looking under my bed for my shoe. I find it
and cheer, and then glance up at the door.

Reid.

I get up off
the floor and scowl. “What are you doing here?” I ask. He looks
good. Definitely isn’t pining away for me, that’s for damn
sure.

“We need to
talk,” he says, rubbing his right hand through his hair. He’s cut
the sides off even shorter, and the top is thick and full, pushed
back on his head.

Fucking
hot.

“I’m pretty
sure you said all that needed to be said,” I say, sitting down on
the edge of my mattress.

A flash of
remorse passes over his expression. “I fucked up. I saw him, you
were touching him, and I lost it.” I don’t say anything so he
continues. “We got into a fight before you and Ryan arrived. I hit
him, he didn’t even fight back, he just stood there and took it
which pissed me off even more.” He closes his eyes.

“You realize
choosing to fight comes with certain consequences. Silas didn’t get
into that ring with a plan to kill anyone.”

Reid’s jaw
tightens at my defence of Silas. “I know,” he admits quietly after
a few tense moments of silence.

“Do you?”

“I’m
trying.”

Well, that’s
something, at least.

“Okay, thank
you for coming by to explain, Reid,” I say, picking up my
handbag.

“That’s it?”
he asks, frowning.

“What, you
expected me to run back into your arms after you spoke to me like
that? Treated me like that? I’m sorry for what happened, Reid, and
I don’t know what girls you’re used to. But as far as I’m
concerned, this right here is done. Now excuse me, cos I gotta get
to work,” I say, waiting for him to move away from the door.

“I fucked up,
baby, it’s gonna happen. I’m sorry, I never should have spoken to
you like that. I love you so fucking much-”

“I gotta go to
work, Reid.”

“I’ll follow
you there,” he says, trailing me as I walk out.

Xander looks
at me and Reid curiously, arching a brow. “Bye, Xander.”

“Bye,
sis.”

I drive to
work and Reid follows me on his bike. I turn up the volume on
T-Pain's ‘Booty Wurk’ trying to block out the image of him in my
rear view mirror, looking sexy as hell on his bike. I park and exit
my car swiftly, walking into the bar without even looking
around.

The first
people I see are Jade and Tag, who both throw me sympathetic
glances. Ryan told me to take a few days off, so this is my first
day back at work. The bar is completely dead and spotless. These
two must have been bored.

“Hey,” I say
as I walk in and shove my handbag under the cash register.

“Hey, how you
holding up?” Jade asks, looking concerned.

“I’m doing
fine, but if someone asks me again, I won’t be responsible for my
actions,” I say, giving them both a threatening glance.

Tag chuckles.
“That’s the spirit.”

Reid takes
that moment to walk into the bar, his eyes only for me. I ignore
him completely, and start to pour myself a vodka sunrise.

I dare him to
say anything about it.

“Happy hour,
is it?” he asks, looking amused.

“Figure I’m
gonna need it. Jade, Tag?” I raise the bottle in question. They
both decline, looking back between Reid and me. All they need is
popcorn.

“When are you
gonna forgive me, baby?” Reid asks bluntly, getting straight to the
point.

“I’m not.”

“Beauty…”

“Mia was right
about me, you said. So what exactly did she say about me?” I ask,
deciding that if he wanted to have it out right here right now, so
be it.

Reid looks
uncomfortable and I find myself enjoying watching him squirm a
little. “I said I was sorry.”

“That isn’t
what I asked.”

“Baby, fuck
Mia, who cares what she-”

“Clearly you
do since you brought it up that night,” I snap, my eyes
narrowing.

“She said you
were young, immature, untrustworthy... shit like that,” he
reluctantly admits. And all this coming from a lying, cheating
whore. How rich.

“And you agree
with those things.”

“Summer-”

“You keep
saying you fucked up, Reid, but you more than fucked up, you broke
my fucking heart. Now, all I need to do is get through these last
few shifts, and then I’ll never have to see you again.”

With that
parting comment, I turn and head out the back.

When I return,
Reid is gone. Tag stands there watching me and I know he's dying to
say something.

“What?”

“I’ve known
Reid for a long time, and I’ve never seen him put himself out there
for a woman like that. You shut him down cold, that was harsh,
girl,” he says, looking a little disappointed in me.

“You don’t
know how he treated me that night,” I say slowly, my eyes starting
to water.

“No, I don’t,
but when you fight you don’t need to fight dirty, you’re better
than that.” He walks over and wraps him arms around me. “It’s empty
here. Why don’t you go sit out front for a little while?”

“Okay,” I say,
taking my drink with me. I take a seat in one of the outside
tables, sipping on my drink. I see Reid walk towards me from the
car park. Guess he didn’t leave after all. He takes the seat right
next to me, our shoulders almost touching. I smell a hint of his
cologne, and it makes me feel homesick. So close, and yet so
far.

Right next to
me, but worlds apart.

“You’re it for
me,” he finally says. “I’m not gonna give up on you, ever.”

I don’t
reply.

“I’m gonna go
see River. I’ll come and see you tonight,” he says, his blue eyes
studying me.

River.

My heart
shatters.

Jade walks
out, looking scared and confused. She gives me a smile that doesn’t
reach her eyes before walking up to Reid.

“Can you drop
me home?” she asks.

He pauses for
a moment. “Sure, come on, I’m leaving now.” He lowers his head and
kisses me on the forehead before he leaves.

I skull the
rest of my drink, and then get back to work.

My phone rings
in the middle of the night, over and over again. I reach out to
pick it up from the side table, but knock it to the ground
instead.