McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (12 page)

“You must’ve missed him terribly.”

“We could see the ferry landing from our apartment over the Galley.” She referred to a restaurant in town. “For weeks, I watched every person come off every boat. I really thought he’d change his mind.”

Mac’s heart broke for her. Life could be so unfair. He also had a better idea now of what an uphill climb he faced in getting her to trust him. “I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago.”

Mac didn’t know if it was wise to pursue it, but he had so many questions. “It must’ve been hard on your mom all by herself.”

“We were always struggling. She never has been able to handle money, which is how she finally managed to land in jail.” Maddie released a nervous-sounding laugh. “Anyway, you don’t want to hear about my soap opera life.”

“I want to hear it all.”

“Even how the other kids tormented me from sixth grade on because I was the first one to develop?”

“If you want to tell me.”
 

Mac waited, hoping she would trust him with her deepest secrets. Then, finally, she began to talk.

Chapter 6

“I started getting chest pains when I was ten. I was too afraid to tell anyone because I thought I might be dying or something. I was a B cup by eleven, and the kids at school called me Chesty Chester. My mother bought me a bikini the summer between sixth and seventh grade. That was the first time I became aware of boys and grown men checking out my chest and figure. That was also when my big T-shirt phase started.” She paused and released another nervous-sounding laugh. “Jeez, what is it about you? I
never
talk about this stuff.”

“You don’t have to now if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t mind. It’s all ancient history anyway.”

But it wasn’t. Mac doubted she could hear the hurt that resonated even as she attempted flippancy.
 

“In middle school, the boys started snapping my bra in the lunch line. It became a contest to see who could get to me the most times in a day. I started carrying my books around in a heavy backpack so they couldn’t get to my bra.”

“Doesn’t that count as assault or something?”

“Reporting them would’ve only made things worse for me.”

“That’s so wrong.”

“I thought it couldn’t get any worse, but I got my period in eighth grade, and within six months I was a D. Suddenly,
every
boy in school wanted to date Maddie Chester and her big boobs.”
 

“Did you go out with any of them?”

“There was this one boy. . . John.” Her voice went soft, her tone wistful. “He was really nice to me. For months he walked me home and carried my backpack. He wouldn’t let the other boys snap my bra. I thought he was different.”

Mac’s stomach began to hurt. He so didn’t want to hear this. With every tale she related, the mountain before him seemed to get a little steeper and the potential fall that much more sheer. “But he wasn’t?”

“Turns out all that time he was pretending to be my friend, he was really hoping to get his hands on my breasts. The first time I let him kiss me, he went right for second base. He was quick, and before I could even react, he had his hands under my bra, mauling me. I’m pretty sure he . . . you know . . . in his pants.”

Mac uttered an expletive under his breath. If that guy walked into the room right then, Mac would’ve beat the hell out of him.
 

“He was the first to kiss and tell. It was all over school the next day that he’d scored the first feel of Maddie Chester’s famous boobs. After that, I faked sick for a week so I wouldn’t have to face them.”

“But eventually you had to go back.”

“Uh huh, and everyone looked at me differently. That was the start of people thinking I was easy.”

“It’s just so unfair,” he said, pained for the defenseless girl who had been betrayed by someone she considered a friend.

“Since then I’ve never known if a guy was interested in me or in
them
, you know?”

“I can imagine.”

“It got worse in high school. The boys were all over me, and the other girls hated me because I was so popular with the guys.”

“Sounds like it was lonely for you.”

“It was. After awhile, I got sick of being alone all the time and decided to go out with one of them.”

“How’d that go?”
 

“Just like I expected—him constantly trying to cop a feel and me constantly fending him off. After a while, he got pissed. He said he’d treated me well and it was time for me to return the favor.”

“What the heck did that mean?”

“He demanded I have sex with him.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen.”

“Jesus,” he whispered. “What’d you do?”

“I refused, because by then just being around him made me sick. He got so mad. For a few minutes, I thought he was going to hit me or something.”

“Tell me he didn’t—”

“No, but it might’ve been better if he had. Instead, he went to school the next day, told everyone I’d done him and all his friends on the beach the night before, and the Maddie Mattress nickname was born.”

Mac wanted to weep. “And none of the other guys spoke up to say it wasn’t true?
No one
?”

“They wouldn’t have dared to contradict him.”

“Who was he?” Mac’s chest contracted with familiar pains, but that was the least of his worries at the moment.

“I’m sure you don’t know him. . .”

“
Who was he?
” He made an effort to keep his voice down when he wanted to roar.

“Darren Tuttle.”

A sharp pain took Mac’s breath away. “He was my brother Evan’s friend.”

“Yes.”

Mac’s hand rolled into a fist. “Did he name my brother as one of the guys who was there that night?”

Maddie’s silence answered for her.

“
And he didn’t deny it?
”

“None of them did.”

“I’ll kill him.”

“Mac, really, it was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter now.”

“It does matter! Those rumors ruined your life.”

“It was my fault for sticking around here after high school. I should’ve gone somewhere else as soon as I was old enough, but money was always an issue, and I couldn’t leave my mother. Believe it or not, she has it in her head that she needs to be here in case my father comes back.”

“Nothing about this is your fault, Maddie. Nothing.”

“You’re supposed to be relaxing, not getting all upset.”

Mac was so far beyond upset he wasn’t even sure what to call it. “Who is Thomas’s father?”

He could almost hear her thinking and deciding.

“Tell me.”

After another long pause, she said, “He was a guest at the hotel two winters ago. He was writing a book, and we got to be friends. One thing led to another. . .”

“Was he the first one, you know. . .”

“First and only.”

Mac released a long deep breath. How could she say that what Darren Tuttle and his friends did to her hadn’t ruined her life? She was twenty-eight the first time she had sex. “What happened with him?”

“He was ten years older than me. He told me he’d had a vasectomy years ago because he didn’t want kids. I stupidly fell for that, thinking we had something special.”

Mac wanted to cover his ears so he wouldn’t have to hear about yet another terrible hurt.

“We were together twice before he texted me to say he had to get back to the mainland to take care of some business, but it’d been nice knowing me. He’d been gone three weeks when I realized I was pregnant.”

“That bastard.”

“I don’t regret it. Thomas is the best thing to ever happen to me. I love him more than anything.”

“His father should be helping you. Financially, at least.”

“I’d never want him to know. What if he came back and tried to take Thomas from me? I’ll never tell him.”

So the woman everyone thought of as the town tramp had had sex exactly twice in her life. Mac churned with things he wished he could say and anger he didn’t know what to do with. He wanted to find all the men who’d harmed her, starting with her deadbeat father, and pummel them until they hurt the way she had. Even that, however, wouldn’t be enough. It would only be half of what they deserved.

“What’re you thinking?” she asked tentatively. “You’re so quiet.”

Mac made an effort to keep the fury out of his voice. That wasn’t what she needed from him after sharing secrets he suspected she probably hadn’t shared with anyone but her sister. “You’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever known, and I’m honored you told me all this.”

“I’m not what they think I am.”

Her quiet dignity affected him more than anything else. “I already knew that.”

“I didn’t want to like you. You’re Evan McCarthy’s brother and Linda’s son. But you’re not like them. You’re so much better.”

“Thank you, honey,” he said, his voice hoarse with emotions he’d never felt quite so strongly before. That she had trusted him with her deepest secrets was one of the best gifts he’d ever received. He reached up for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. “I wish I could take a big broom and sweep away all the old hurts.”

“You’re sweet to want to.”

“I really wish I could.”

“No one’s ever wanted to do anything like that for me before.”

“That’s too bad. You deserve to be happy.”

She squeezed his hand. “I told you all my stuff. Now you have to tell me some of yours.”

In an effort to lighten the mood, Mac regaled her with funny stories of growing up with three brothers and a sister that made her laugh, and he swore he made her cry when he told her about the injury that ended his professional baseball aspirations. As she continued to hold his hand, she asked about the women he’d dated, and he told her. After what she’d shared with him, keeping secrets from her—any secrets—just seemed foolish. By the time they ran out of conversation, the first hints of daylight were peeking through the windows, and his arm had fallen asleep hours ago, but still he held her hand.

He’d never felt more energized by a sleepless night.

Maddie couldn’t find Thomas. He wasn’t in his crib or at Tiffany’s. She ran through the yard screaming for help, tears streaming down her face. Someone had taken him from her. The one person she truly loved. She screamed for him again and fought the hands that tried to stop her from running down the street.

“Maddie. Honey, you’re dreaming. Wake up.”

Mac. All at once, she was fully awake with sickening pain radiating from her knee and arm. He sat on the edge of her bed, brushing the hair off her face.

“Thomas,” she said, her voice rough with sleep and fear.

“He’s sleeping in his crib.”

“Will you make sure? Please?”

“Of course.”

While he was gone, Maddie tried to calm her racing heart and shaking hands.
Only a dream
.
Only a dream
.

“He’s fine,” Mac reported. “Sound asleep.” He returned to sit once again on the side of the bed. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah. Just a crazy dream.”

“You seem to have a lot of those.”

“Always have. Some are better than others.” She recalled the dream about him the previous afternoon. That had been a good one.

He took her hand. “You’re shaking.”

“It was scary.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No. Thank you.”

“Scoot over.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” He nudged her with his hip. “Come on.”

She moved to the far side of the bed and then gasped when it dipped under his weight. “W-what’re you doing?”

“This.” He slid his arm under her and carefully brought her into his embrace, making sure to accommodate her injured arm and leg. By the time he had her all arranged, her face was pressed to his chest, and he held her snugly against him. Maddie couldn’t breathe from being this close to him, and she had nowhere to rest her sore hand but on his firm belly.

Brushing a kiss over her hair, he said, “Go back to sleep.”

Um, yeah. Sure. With her senses overwhelmed by his sporty scent, the feel of his soft chest hair under her cheek, and his hand caressing her back—how did he expect her to
sleep
?

“It’s okay, Maddie. Nothing will happen to you or Thomas while I’m here. I promise.”

How could he know that was exactly what she needed to hear right then? That nothing he could’ve said would have meant more to her? Tears leaked from her closed eyes. She was so tired—and not just from the sleepless night. The heavy weight of responsibility resting on her fragile shoulders was enough sometimes to make her buckle under the strain. Now here was this man wanting to make it all better—even if just for a little while—and it was so very tempting to let him. Tomorrow she’d get back to fighting him off. For right now, it felt too good to be held by him to think about fighting. She sank into Mac’s embrace and absorbed the comfort he so willingly offered.