McCarthys of Gansett Island Boxed Set Books 1-3 (89 page)

“And what is it that I pretend to be?”

“Just a guy who works the docks and fixes up boats. Simple. Uncomplicated.”

“I
am
that guy, Syd. I’ve always been that guy.”

“You
own
the business!”

“Only part of it, and only for the last year or so. It’s no big deal.”

“It’s a huge big deal. That you kept it from me makes me wonder if I know you at all.”

“Sydney, Jesus, you know me better than anyone else in this world. I’ve shown you parts of me that no one else has ever seen. How can you say you don’t know me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because.”

“You have to do better than that.”

“I didn’t want it to be a factor in whether you decide to stay.”

“What does that mean?”

“I wanted you to want me for
me
, not because of what I have.”

Her mouth fell open. “Oh my God. You haven’t forgiven me. All that talk about clean slates, and you’re expecting me to do exactly what I did before!”

“That’s not true. But money is important to you. You come in my house and all you see is the threadbare furniture and that nothing has changed. You assume it’s because I can’t afford to get new stuff. But the truth is, I don’t care if it’s old. It still works, so why would I replace it? I didn’t tell you about the business because it hasn’t given me anything I didn’t already have. For years Mr. McCarthy has paid me a year-round salary to work six months a year because he said he couldn’t run the place without me.”

“Luke—”

“Who do you think was keeping the business going before Mac came home?” Luke gripped the steering wheel and stared out the window. “I own my house. I own my truck. I live simply. Even before the partnership, I made plenty of money, and I only spend a fraction of it, not because I’m worried about spending it, but because I have everything I need. Last year someone offered me a million dollars for my property—as is. Of course I declined, but he gave me his card in case I change my mind.” Looking over at her, he said, “I’m not without means, Syd.” He couldn’t remember a time when he’d made such an impassioned speech, but for some reason, he felt like he was suddenly fighting for his life.

“I don’t know where you got the idea I care about any of that.”

“You married the guy who could keep you in the lifestyle you’d become accustomed to. Don’t tell me you don’t care about money.”

“Maybe I used to, but that’s not what I care about now. Apparently, you don’t think too much of me if you think money matters more to me than you do.”

“The thing is, I have no idea what matters most to you. Is it me? Is it what we have together? Is it your life in Boston? I’d really like to know.”

Her hands were folded so tightly in her lap that her knuckles had turned white.

He covered them with his hand. “What matters most to me is you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about McCarthy’s. I should have.”

“I’m sorry you felt I was such a money-grubbing bitch that it would matter so much to me.”

Shocked, he stared at her. “I never said that! You’re twisting my words all around.”

“Am I?”

“Yes! I don’t think you’re a money-grubbing anything.” He paused for a moment, hoping to contain the swell of fear and despair that threatened to overtake him at the thought of losing her again. “I spent a lot of years living with the knowledge that I wasn’t good enough for you the first time around. This time, I wanted to be good enough. Just the way I am. What you see is what you get.”

She stared off into the encroaching darkness.

Luke’s heart beat hard as he waited for her to say something. Anything. “Syd.”

“You’ve certainly given me a lot to think about.”

“What does that mean?”

“Just what I said. I need to think.”

“For how long?”

“For as long as it takes.”

“Do you still want to go to dinner?”

“Yes, let’s go. My parents are waiting for us.”

Luke started the truck, but he wondered how he’d manage to eat when all he could think about was the cold block of dread that had settled in his gut. Had he just totally blown it with her? Again?

Chapter 26

Sydney’s head was spinning during the dinner with her parents. Because they’d obviously gone to some considerable trouble with the meal and were trying to make Luke feel welcome, Sydney was doing her best to remain engaged, even though her heart was aching after their roadside conversation.

Maybe they’d been deluding themselves that they could get past what’d happened years ago and make their second chance work out better than the first one did. After what he’d said earlier, it was clear to Sydney that Luke hadn’t completely forgiven her for leaving him without a word or for marrying Seth. He was waiting for her to leave him again.

“Syd?” His deep voice interrupted her thoughts.

She looked up at the three faces watching her with concern and realized her best efforts to remain engaged had failed miserably.

“Everything okay, honey?” her mother asked.

From across the table, Luke studied Sydney intently.

She met his gaze when she said, “Yes, everything’s fine.” Was that relief she saw on his face?

“Sydney’s upset with me because I failed to tell her I’m now a part owner of McCarthy’s Marina,” Luke said, his gaze locked on her.

Well, he was full of surprises tonight.

“She found out from someone else, which was wrong of me. I should’ve told her myself.”

“Oh,” Mary Alice said. “Well.”

“So you’re a partner,” Allan said.
 

Luke nodded. “When Mac came into the business, he didn’t want the full responsibility, so Mr. McCarthy made us partners and retained a small share for himself.”

“Congratulations,” Allan said. “That’s a very successful business.”

“Yes, it is.”

Watching the exchange, Sydney saw her father looking at Luke with newfound respect. Right in that moment, she got why he hadn’t told her. He hadn’t wanted it to matter to her the same way it clearly mattered to her dad.
 

Sydney’s heart ached as she understood how worried he was that she would leave him again—or that she would stay for the wrong reasons. Everything became crystal clear to her as she studied his adorably handsome face across the table. The minute they were alone, she would put his mind at ease. There was nowhere else she wanted to be than with him. Why bother to fight it anymore?

The phone rang, and her mother got up to answer it, returning a moment later, her face ashen and her eyes large. “Allan, Simone has had a mild heart attack.”

“Oh God. Is she. . .”

“She’s at Mass General, but she’s okay.”

Her father took a deep rattling breath.
 

“My aunt,” Sydney said to Luke.

“I need to go there.” Allan checked his watch. “Oh, we won’t make the last boat.”

“I’ll call Slim,” Luke said. “The McCarthy’s pilot friend. He’ll fly you over if he can.”

“Oh, thank you, Luke,” Mary Alice said.

While Luke went to make the call, Sydney gave her dad a hug. “Simone is still young and strong, Dad. She’ll get through this. I know it.”

He nodded, but his entire body was rigid with worry over his younger sister.

Luke hobbled back into the room. “Slim said he’ll meet you at the airport in thirty minutes.”

“Thank you so much, Luke,” Mary Alice said. “Come on, Allen. Let’s go pack. I’m sorry about dinner.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mom. Go get ready.” Her parents went upstairs, and Sydney turned to Luke. “Thank you.”

“Happy to help.” Propped on his crutches, he drew her toward him. “I’m sorry about your aunt. If you want to go with them, I’ll take care of Buddy. Grant can help me move him to my house.”

Sydney rested her head on his chest. “I’ll stay for now and see what tomorrow brings, but thanks for the offer.”

“What I said before—it came out all wrong.”

“No, it didn’t. We’ll talk about it after they leave.”

Her parents departed a few minutes later in a flurry of hugs and promises to call as soon as they knew more about her aunt’s condition.

From his pillow on the floor, Buddy watched the goings on. He’d been up and around a little more that day and was able to go outside when he needed to but was still weak and easily tired.

After seeing her parents off, Sydney bent to press a kiss to Buddy’s sweet face and was rewarded with a lick to the cheek. “Aww, you’re feeling better, aren’t you? I’m so glad.” She kissed him again and stood to face Luke.

“When I came out here earlier this month,” she said, hoping she could get through this without getting too emotional, “I was hoping to make a few decisions about what’s next for me. I’d left my job as a teacher because it was too difficult to be around kids that age without constantly being reminded of the children I’d lost. ”

Propped on his crutches, Luke watched and listened, but he didn’t say anything.

“I never could’ve imagined you and I would reconnect the way we have or that being with you again would make me so. . .”

“What, Syd?” He tucked her hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek. “Tell me.”

“Happy,” she whispered. “I’ve been so happy. I didn’t think that was possible anymore, and you’ve helped me see I still have a whole life in front of me, and it doesn’t have to be filled with sadness and grief.” She ventured a look up at him and found him watching her intently. “Thank you for that.”

“Believe me, it’s been my pleasure.”

She smiled. “Mine, too.”

“But?”

Sydney shook her head. “No buts. I love you, Luke. I don’t know if I ever stopped loving you or if it was just on hold or what. But I love you, and I want to be with you, whether it’s here or on the mainland or wherever—”

He took a step to close the distance between them, letting his crutches fall to the floor in a loud clatter that drew a whine of concern from Buddy. Hooking an arm around her waist, he tugged her in tight against him.

Sydney’s hands landed on his chest. “Luke, your ankle!”

“It’s fine,” he whispered as he brought his mouth down on hers for a devouring kiss.

Having surrendered to the overwhelming love she felt for him, Sydney threw herself into the kiss, meeting every stroke of his tongue until she was so breathless spots were dancing before her eyes.

His lips shifted to her jaw and then to her neck. “I love you so much, Syd. Only you. I’ve loved you for as long as I’ve known what love is.”

Her fingers sank into his hair, anchoring him to her.

“I have a proposition for you,” he said.

Sydney tilted her hips into his erection. “So I see.”

“Not that kind of proposition,” he said, laughing. “Although that one is definitely on the agenda.” As if he couldn’t resist, he kissed her again.

“I want to hear your proposition,” she said against his lips.

He drew back an inch or two so he could look her in the eye. “I’d like to hire you to redecorate my house.”

Sydney started to reply, but he stopped her with a finger to her lips.

“Hear me out. It needs everything, so you’d be committing to a project that could take a year or two.”

“That’s a long time,” she said gravely, playing along.

“Hopefully long enough for you to try island life on for size, and while you’re at it, you can try me on for size, too.”

Sydney reached down to cup his erection, squeezing in the places that made him crazy. “I like your size just fine.”

“Syd,” he gasped, “quit that. I’m trying to talk to you.”

“I’m listening.” She smiled up at him, enjoying the tortured look on his face.

He closed his hand around hers to stop her from stroking him. “After you finish the house, you can decide if you want to stay for good. If you don’t, we’ll go somewhere else.”

“And you’d be okay with that?”

“As long as you’re with me, I’d be okay anywhere.”

Touched by what he’d said, she flattened her hands on his chest and kissed him. “I’ll accept your proposition on one condition—you don’t have to hire me. I was hoping to use before and after pictures of your place in my portfolio to help start my business.”

“I suppose I can live with that.”

“Then I suppose I can live with you.”

“That’s the best news I’ve had in years.”

“I have some things to deal with at home after Labor Day.” Her euphoria faded a bit at the reminder. “But then I’ll be back.”

Luke traced a finger over the furrow between her brows. “Every time you refer to the things you need to take care of at home, you lose your sparkle. What do you have to do?”

“The guy who hit us is being sentenced on September fifth.” She looked up at him. “I have to be there.”

“Maybe so, but you don’t have to go alone.”

She shook her head. “I don’t expect you—”